Becoming Hysteric_A Standalone Rock Star Romance Read online

  After we all helped clean up from dinner, it was time to get ready to head over to Ryan’s place for the party.

  The doorbell rang, and my heart sank. I knew I would knock Jackson out if I saw him touch Leilani, so I made my way into the bathroom to quarantine myself.

  After I fake flushed the toilet, I heard my sister’s voice come through the door. “Mav?” There was no way on this godforsaken planet I was going to stand by and watch all three of our little sisters get into a car with the d-bag of the fucking century. Since Julie was only a freshman and my flesh and blood, I finally felt like I had a good enough reason to throw a fit about Jax driving them.

  I pulled the door open. “What?” I barked, startling her a bit.

  “Um, Mom said you need to take your allergy medicine.” She handed me my pill bottle. We all knew it wasn’t fucking allergy medicine, but it kept the pimples away and that was all I cared about. I chuckled a little at all the stupid white lies our families all told, wondering if it was normal and if every family was the same way.

  “Thanks, Jules. Does Mom know you’re riding to the party with a senior?”

  She bit her bottom lip. “I told her I was going with you guys, and she said it was fine since you were going to be there.”

  “But she doesn’t know how you’re getting there.” I was starting to get heated. Who did this Jax guy think he was?

  “Mav, don’t make this into a big deal. It’s totally fine. It’s just a ride.” Julie was giving me her best puppy dog face, and damn her, it was working. I knew I was overreacting and knew I would be the one to take them all home at the end of the night, but it was still making my skin crawl.

  Sheila looked over at me. “Why do you care, anyway?”

  Leilani crossed her arms over her chest, popping her hip out. “I asked him the same damn question earlier. What’s it to you, Mav? Usually you get all pissy when we ask to catch a ride with you and now you’re all upset because someone else is giving us a ride to a party you will be at? What gives?”

  “That guy’s just a jerk, that’s all. Sue me for caring, ladies. Please, enjoy your ride with Sir Dickwad.”

  With perfect timing, another knock sounded on the front door. We’d been keeping Jax waiting for a while.

  They all grabbed their jackets and Leilani glanced back at me. “We sure will.” Her tone bit right through me. I had totally crossed a line and had probably fucked up my chances with my dream girl.

  Colt’s mom was watching Grey’s Anatomy, completely oblivious to the minor power struggle that had just played out in her dining room.

  “You guys ready?” Dane broke the silence, but the tension still lingered.

  I let out a long breath. “One more beer and then we’ll head out?”

  They all agreed and we made our way back down into the basement so I could cool off for a bit before having to see the girls, Jackson, and the rest of the student body.

  Chapter 3

  Angsty Teenage Poetry For The Win

  I slid down onto the couch next to my best chick friend on the planet. Dayna was bubbly as always and sported a bright blue bow in her hair.

  “So, have you told her yet?”

  I snapped my gaze to Dayna’s dark green eyes, realizing she was laughing at me. “Wh-What?”

  She pointed over at Leilani, who was hand in hand with Jackson. My blood was already boiling. “Come on, Mav, I think I know that look.”

  “Check yourself, Rotshtyn.”

  “You better watch yourself, Steele—you know how I feel about my last name.” Dayna punched me in the shoulder, giggling. I was the only one who could even come close to getting away with calling her by her last name. “Now, let’s get back to the fucking point, dickwad.” Dayna pointed back over to Leilani as Jax brushed her hair back behind her ear. I was ready to walk up to him and let my right fist connect with his perfectly chiseled jaw.

  I shrugged, taking a long sip from the plastic red cup I was nearly crushing in my hand. I tried to stay as cool as a cucumber but failed completely. “She’s just a chick, and she’s Dane’s little sister.”

  Dayna giggled even more. “Sure, Maverick Steele is going to play by the rules. I can now die and go to heaven.” Her eye roll was not lost on me, and the sarcasm dripping from her words was on point. I could always count on that chick to tell me how it was, and that was why she was one of my best friends.

  “Why do you care?” I was starting to get pissy.

  “Look, you two have had crushes on each other since before either of you hit puberty. It’s damn time someone called ya out on it.”

  “What does it matter? She’s making doe eyes at the hottest dude in the goddamn school. I can’t compete with those muscles and that perfect smile. Who wouldn’t want to be on the arm of our school’s MVP?”

  “Do you know how much like a chick you just sounded? Did you make a deal with the Devil—trading in your balls for a shot with Leilani?”

  “Fuck, dude. I don’t know why I am getting roasted right now.” I chugged the rest of the Natty Ice in my cup.

  “I’m just tired of watching my best friend pine for a chick he has a shot with. Don’t think I don’t know that you sleep around just to fill the void of who you really want to be with.”

  Dane took a seat next to me, following my gaze to his sister being groped right in front of us. “I don’t know what she sees in that fucking jock.”

  Dayna held her hand up in the air. “Amen. We were just talking about that.”

  “Why do you let her hang out with guys like that?” I barked.

  He shrugged. “You try telling Leilani what to do. She sure as shit does not listen to me.”

  “They should have never ridden here with him.” I was about to freak out. I couldn’t watch it anymore. “To the keg. Who needs a refill?”

  Dayna and Dane followed me into the kitchen. We waited our turn and I pumped fresh beer into our plastic cups.

  Right as we were about to head back into the living room, Leilani rushed into Dane’s arms, crying hysterically.

  “Sis, what’s wrong?” Dane dropped his beer onto the tile floor, pulling his sister in tighter.

  “We need to leave—now,” she sobbed, grabbing for me. “Please, take me home.”

  I dug my keys out of my pocket as fast as humanly possible. “Dayna, tell the rest of them we left. Can you give them all a ride later?”

  She nodded. “Of course. Just take care of her.”

  We rushed for the front door with Jules hot on our trail.

  “What’s going on?” my sister whispered in my ear as Dane helped Leilani into the back seat.

  “Fuck if I know. I’ll kill the rat bastard if it’s what I think it is.” I didn’t want to think the worst, but my gut was telling me Jackson was going to get an ass beating in the very near future.

  “Slut!” A few snickering girls cackled as I shut the car door behind Dane.

  Turning back to look at the house, I saw Jackson was standing with a group, laughing and pointing at us.

  Leaning in through the driver’s door, I looked back at Leilani’s crying face. “What happened?”

  “Nothing,” she muttered.

  “You have to tell us.” I did my best to keep my voice low and calm.

  “I didn’t want to go into a room with him, so he told everyone I blew him in the bathroom. I swear I didn’t. I thought he actually liked me.” Her crying turned into sobbing as she crumbled into Dane’s arms.

  Rage clouded my judgment as I turned toward the house. Before I knew what was happening, I had Jax pinned against the front door and was screaming in his face. “Lying about an innocent girl to get cool kid points—really? You’re just as fucking scummy as I thought you were. You’re going to pay for this.”

  “Mav! He’s not worth it!” Leilani was yelling from the car, but I couldn’t let someone do that to her without paying for it.

  “Your little princess is a fucking slut—just look at her bruised knees from kneeli
ng in front of me.” The smile on his smug face was the icing on the cake, and my fist was connecting with his cheekbone before he could get another word out.

  “You’re fucking dead!” Jackson yelled as he tried his hardest to land a punch.

  My dad had taught me well. He always made sure if I was going to have a hot temper, I would be able to start and finish any fight I got myself into. I had been taking boxing lessons for as long as I could remember and knew I could knock Jackson out with one blow, but that was just too easy. I let him dance around, throwing and missing punch after punch. I just laughed and dodged.

  “You’re not even worth my fucking time.” I spit at his feet and started to head back to my car. I knew I shouldn’t turn my back on someone who wanted to kick my ass, but there was nothing Jackson could do to actually hurt me, not with so many people snickering at him and calling him a pussy.

  After getting everyone back to my house and making sure the girls were all right, I sat at the dining room table with my notebook like always. Sleep never came easily to me, which was why I had started writing in the first place. Something about getting weird emotions out on paper cleansed me enough to be able to rest for a few hours. It wasn’t like I had a hard life; my mom was one of the most loving women to ever grace the planet, and my father was a no-shit, down-to-earth, hard worker who never failed to back his kids up and be an incredible role model. I was one of the lucky ones, but my thoughts and feelings still swirled with angst from time to time.

  There is only so much one body can take

  Only so much rejection and not break

  I want to crawl into your mind and find the pieces of my heart you stole

  You don’t even remember them

  They were ripped from my body, leaving me bloody on the pavement

  And they are nothing but pointless knickknacks, cluttering your busy life

  Have you seen me?

  I haven’t

  I can’t find myself anymore

  I am lost in the tangled webs of the words you wove

  A beautiful smokescreen I danced in like stardust until you no longer had a use for me

  Welcome to the fresh hell I fought to climb out of

  Thank you for sending me back

  I didn’t realize I was breathing tainted air until you put on a gas mask and cut the oxygen from my life

  Thank you

  You proved to me that it was all too good to be true

  Thank you

  All I ever wanted was nothing like you

  “Well, if it isn’t Adam Lazzara hard at work.” Glancing up, I saw Leilani taking a seat across from me.

  “Fuck, I hope we’ll be compared to TBS someday. What’re you doing up?” My throat went dry as I stared into her gorgeous face while she took a bite of a green apple from the centerpiece.

  “Couldn’t sleep, and I wanted to thank you for defending me like that.” She stared down at her hands.

  “Don’t mention it. No one will ever disrespect you like that if I am around,” I said quietly, sincerely. My heart was going a mile a minute as I started to finally open up to Leilani.

  “Can I read it?” she asked while still chewing.

  Fuck no.

  I bit my lip. “It’s not done.”

  “Come on, Mav. You know how much I love your lyrics. It’d be nice to read them for once instead of having to wait to sneak into your practice to get a glimpse.”

  Reluctantly, I put the notebook in her hand, open to the page I had just been scribbling on. “Don’t mind the chicken scratch.”

  “It’s way better than the cryptic crap I deal with when editing Dane’s papers for him.”

  I sat watching her eyes scan over the words. My heart was pounding in my ears, my hands shaking.

  “Why is it always so sad?” Leilani’s eyes were glued to the page.

  I pursed my lips; I didn’t really have an answer. “It’s just what comes out, I guess.”

  “Well, you’re talented as hell.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Would you help me with my story for my creative writing class? I could really use a fresh set of eyes on it, and I don’t want Dane to read it.” She jumped up from the table to rummage through her backpack where it sat on the floor in the foyer.

  “Why not?”

  “It hits close to home,” she admitted.

  “I’d be honored to read it.”

  Taking out a typed page, Leilani bit her lip. “I feel like it’s complete crap. Just don’t be too hard on me. You’re the writer, not me.”

  I gripped the page in my hand, scanning over the words as I tried not to tear up. Even though I knew for a fact it was complete fiction, I knew the emotions in the piece were extremely real for Leilani.

  My grandmother strides back into the hotel room, strong and unwavering in her expression, a complete contradiction to her seemingly frail body. Standing with my arms crossed, fighting the tears and anger back down into my throat, I gape at her. Her small hand rests on my cheek as she promises everything is going to be all right. My trembling hand goes to rest on hers as I ask if she called an ambulance. With a tear-filled nod, she confirms that they are on the way.

  My gaze breaks from hers as knocking cracks into my ears. I twist my body around and see a sliver of light shining from the outside. Beautiful and glowing, the sun feels hot compared to the dark, damp room of terror I’m confined to. My soon-to-be aunt tries to smile, asking if there is anything she or her fiancé can do. I fake a confident grin as comforting words roll off my dry tongue, looking past her brown eyes at the paramedics climbing out of their vehicle.

  I move aside as four broad-shouldered men nod and enter the room, two carrying a handheld stretcher. Suddenly the moment freezes while I gasp to breathe. I look down at the bed where my mom lies half naked, her eyes like slits as she drools a little onto a soaked pillow. That is right where I found her this morning, and it was utterly terrifying. The brown blanket I used to cover her barely responsive body has twisted and bunched from her moaning, rolling, puking, thrashing.

  My mind snaps everything back into motion as my thoughts scream at me to answer the man’s question. My eyes try to focus through salt water, locking on a kind face asking me if she took anything. I start on the description of my mother’s situation, how she has had two terrible surgeries in less than two years, how she is under the care of a pain management doctor back home, how she might have had something to drink last night, how I don’t remember her taking too much medication. I slowly move toward the bed, trembling as I start to gather all of the pill bottles into one bag from the nightstand.

  A terrible groan fills the air as they start to move my mom, completely ignoring the fact that I just told them to be careful with her neck. I scream and run to the other side, my grandmother grasping her mouth with one hand in horror. I yell that they are idiots and need to understand that she cannot bend or move the way a normal person can, that the first doctor was a butcher who could have killed her. Tears rushing down my face, I start to put her collar around her neck to help stabilize her a little, and then I roll her onto her side where I know she will be comfortable. I beg them to understand that lying flat is excruciating for her and once she is in their care, I am trusting them to love her.

  My phone vibrates in my pocket and my grandmother nods, indicating that I should answer. It’s my father again. His voice is so strong and comforting on the other end, and I wish he was here holding me. He explains what is going to happen, saying I am to still come home as planned the next morning with my uncle, that my grandmother will accompany my mother to the hospital and I am to sign all of the paperwork. Shaking through my words, I try not to let him know of my feebleness, my grief, my panic. With kind, comforting words of love and sorrow, the phone call ends.

  I hold in all the emotion fighting to surface as I lean over, kissing my mother on the cheek. One of the paramedics brushes my arm, indicating his need to get more information from me. I sign the pages stating I
am releasing my mother into their care, telling him the names of all the medications—at least the ones I can remember—and confirming that they are all in the bag I hand him. He nods and tries to reassure me that everything is going to get better. I thank him for his kind words and grab my grandmother’s hand as we step into the cool afternoon air.

  I inform her of my father’s plan and she nods, hugs me, and heads for her rental car to follow the ambulance. I stand paralyzed, watching as the vehicles turn the corner and vanish behind the inn. I drop to my knees, my head in my hands, and finally let it all come out, let my fear, weakness, anger, love fall out of my eyes and leap from my lungs, foolishly begging for this to all be just a nightmare. My mind shifts to last night, to my mom setting her wine-soaked paper cup on the nightstand, her sweet voice wrapping around a late night I love you as I turned out the light and fell asleep.

  I took a couple of seconds after I finished reading to let the gravity of the short story sink in.

  “Where’d that come from?” I asked, handing her assignment back over.

  She shrugged. “Just came to me last night and I kind of ran with it.”

  “You’re really talented—like, you should really consider taking this further.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked as a smile spread on her face.

  It was nice to just be sitting with Leilani, to be able to talk with her and compliment her talents. Not having to worry that someone would call me out on being too nice to her and not my usual dickish self was a breath of fresh air.

  “Like, if you added in some back story, dialogue, and followed up on the aftermath, you could submit it to a journal or something. The sky’s the limit, kid.”

  “You really think it’s good?”

  “It’s better than good. You have incredible talent.” I reached across the table as a tear started to drop onto Leilani’s cheek. As I took her hand in mine, I felt my lungs seize up and stop working.