Not Everything Dies Read online

  “You look so young,” Elizabeth said. “Like a girl, fresh into womanhood. How old are you, my dear?”

  Ruxandra shook her head. “I have no idea.”

  Elizabeth stepped back and looked her over. “Your body looks no more than eighteen. Now sit. Rinse your body, and we’ll start on your hair.”

  Ruxandra sat. Elizabeth dunked the cloth and rubbed it over Ruxandra, getting the soap off the half of her torso above water. Ruxandra kept her eyes closed. Elizabeth’s scent—roses, lavender, and sweat—rose above the sweet smell of the soapsuds floating in the water.

  It shouldn’t smell like that.

  Ruxandra sat up. “The soap.”

  Elizabeth stopped rubbing at her flesh. “Yes?”

  “It’s wrong.” Ruxandra opened her eyes, looking down at the gray water and the slick of oil and bubbles. “It smells wrong.”

  Elizabeth sat back from the tub. “Wrong how?”

  Ruxandra shook her head. “It should smell like . . .” She struggled. “Lilacs?”

  A boy. A pond. Music. Soap. Soft clothes. Hunting rabbit. Hunting deer. Feeding but growing hungrier.

  “Elizabeth . . .” Ruxandra said. Elizabeth’s scent filled her nose. The beat of her heart rang in Ruxandra’s ears: she saw its color, rose-red. “Something’s wrong.”

  Elizabeth leaned closer. “What?”

  “I don’t know. I’m . . .” Music. Singing. A cabin in a clearing. A boy with a strong back and white teeth. Lips touching lips. Hands touching her flesh, touching her breasts. Oh. Hunger and hunger and hunger. Love will flee, will die. Why is that? “Run.”

  “What?” Elizabeth rose to her feet and stepped back.

  “Run!” Had flown. Was gone. Something chasing her. Some wrong thing. It wanted to kill her, to drink her. She was too weak. She needed to stop it before it killed her. She needed to be stronger. She needed to be—

  “Run!” Ruxandra screamed. Then the Beast roared and leaped out of the tub, talons extended, aiming for Elizabeth’s flesh.

  KILL!

  RUXANDRA TRIED TO seize control of her body. It stumbled but didn’t stop moving. Dorotyas lashed out with her strap, snapping it on her face, causing one eye to rupture in a burst of fluid. Pain ripped through Ruxandra, tearing away her control. The Beast screamed in agony and scrabbled at its dripping eye socket. Dorotyas whipped the strap again, ripping open the flesh and muscle on the Beast’s arm.

  Dorotyas swung again, aiming for the Beast’s good eye. The Beast ducked, and the strap snapped above its head. Then it sprang.

  Dorotyas’s punch met the Beast halfway. It tried to knock the fist aside, but the missing eye had ruined its depth perception. Dorotyas’s punch crashed into the Beast’s nose, breaking it. It wasn’t enough to stop the Beast’s momentum. The Beast smashed into Dorotyas with all its weight, sending her sprawling. The Beast snarled and jumped again, talons aiming for Dorotyas’s stomach.

  Stop! Ruxandra wrenched control from the Beast long enough to pull her arms apart. They hit the ground on either side of Dorotyas, the talons scraping on the stone. Dorotyas grabbed the Beast’s head and rolled it over. She sat astride its chest, letting her full weight rest on the Beast’s rib cage. She raised the strap again and brought it down hard toward the Beast’s face.

  The Beast bucked its hips, and Dorotyas flew across the room. She hit the far wall with a crunch and yelled in pain. The Beast flipped over, ready to spring again.

  I said stop! Ruxandra tried to control the Beast’s legs to keep it from springing. The Beast’s mind, savage and wild, pounded down on Ruxandra’s.

  Two swords sank into the Beast’s back. Pain, sharp and sudden, tore Ruxandra’s control away. The Beast spun away from the soldiers’ blades, tearing its flesh open to free itself.

  It howled again, the noise reverberating through the dungeon.

  “Get back, countess!” Dorotyas shouted.

  The Beast turned. Elizabeth ran toward it. The Beast snarled and crouched low. KILL!

  No, I won’t let you! Ruxandra tried to stop. It felt as if Ruxandra’s own muscles had turned against her, refusing to do her will. The Beast tried to shove her into a dark space in her head where she had no strength or control. The Beast wanted to gauge how far it had to jump to reach Elizabeth. With its eye missing, it couldn’t be sure, and hesitated.

  Run! Ruxandra screamed in her mind.

  Elizabeth grabbed the girl who had carried the towels.

  She was crouched on the floor by the tub, forgotten by the Beast. Her eyes were wide with fear, and her fist was crammed in her mouth to keep her from screaming. Elizabeth grabbed her hair and hauled her to her feet. In one swift motion, Elizabeth pulled a knife from inside her dress and cut the girl across the chest. The girl screamed and Elizabeth shoved her toward the Beast.

  The smell of the girl’s blood filled the Beast’s nose, driving out any other thought except HUNGRY.

  The Beast jumped and sank its teeth into the girl’s neck, cutting off her screams. Blood, warm and rich and so delicious, filled its mouth. The Beast pulled hard at the girl’s throat, draining her as fast as it could. The fresh blood flowed over the Beast’s tongue: food, bliss, relief.

  Out of the corner of her eye, Ruxandra spotted Dorotyas climbing to her feet. She cradled one arm against her body. Her face was pale with pain, which made Ruxandra feel at once ashamed and satisfied with herself. Elizabeth stood behind her soldiers, her eyes wide. Ruxandra could smell the fear on them all. She continued drinking, taking the last of the life from the girl before letting her drop.

  She stood, swaying and dizzy, but in control of her body once again.

  The girl’s blood ran down Ruxandra’s breasts and dripped toward her legs and sex. Ruxandra looked down. She stumbled over to the bathtub, grabbed the cloth, and slowly, meticulously, washed all the blood off her body. When she finished, she picked up her dirty shift, put it on, walked back into her cell, and closed the door behind her.

  Dorotyas ran forward, shoved the key in the lock, and turned it. The guards rushed to brace the two beams against the door. Ruxandra sank to the floor and put her head in her hands. Elizabeth will never trust me now.

  She thought of the dead girl—then made herself stop. Not yet. She couldn’t think about it. She needed to not be the Beast anymore.

  The wounds on her back started to heal. Pain and relief blended into one as the flesh and muscles stitched back together. Stranger, still, she could feel her eye reforming, swelling to fill the space in its socket.

  When her eye had rebuilt itself, Ruxandra lifted her head and looked around. The dungeon was empty, save for the two guards in front of her cell. Both had their weapons out, and both looked ready to kill her. Ruxandra put her head back down into her hands and wept.

  The guards changed six times, but none came near. One prisoner was brought into the dungeon—a teenage girl with bruises on her face and a torn skirt. Later, two guards dragged a man from the cells, kicking and pleading for his life. Ruxandra watched it all with dull, bored eyes. There was nothing to do save sit on her chair or lie on her bed or pace the cell for hours. No company, no Elizabeth . . . How quickly she had gotten used to speaking like a person.

  She was getting hungry again.

  How often do I eat?

  I still don’t know how much time is passing. I don’t know if its daytime or night.

  Am I going to be stuck in here forever like this? Just stuck here, only thinking about my next meal?

  The faint smell of chemicals caught her attention.

  Kade.

  She went to the bars and looked, but the man was nowhere in sight. She frowned and sniffed again. It was definitely he. Then she heard footsteps, coming down the dungeon stairs. The door opened, and Kade stepped inside.

  Once more, Kade placed the stool in front of Ruxandra’s cell, far enough away that she couldn’t reach him. Ruxandra picked up her chair and moved it away from the bars. She didn’t want to lose control and attack him.
<
br />   “Is Dorotyas all right?” Ruxandra asked as he sat. “She hit the wall rather hard.”

  “She had a dislocated shoulder,” Kade said. “The surgeon put it back. She’s still in a fair bit of pain.”

  Ruxandra’s head dropped. Elizabeth will be angry. “I’m sorry.”

  “So is she,” Kade said. “You are not to blame. It was the Beast.”

  “I am the Beast.”

  “I don’t think so.” His voice was warm with interest.

  Hope, small and fragile, blossomed in Ruxandra’s chest. Her head rose. “Why?”

  “Remember what Elizabeth said to you before. The Beast came into being because you were feeding on animal blood.” Kade scratched his beard as he put his words together. “I believe that the Beast is your will to survive. When everything about you that had been human faded, from drinking the animal blood, the Beast took over.”

  “Human?” Ruxandra frowned. “Was I human once?”

  “According to all the stories I’ve read about vampires, yes. In every one, the vampire was human before he—or she—changed.”

  “Do they ever change back?”

  Kade shook his head. “I’m sorry, no.”

  “Oh.” His voice was admiring, she noted. He wouldn’t find it so fascinating if it had happened to him.

  “Ruxandra,” Kade asked gently, “what happened down here?”

  Ruxandra stared at her hands again. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. He didn’t move or speak, just sat there, waiting.

  Finally, she mumbled, “I got hungry.”

  “Hungry?” Instead of sounding dismayed or upset, Kade seemed excited.

  Ruxandra felt tears coming again. “I knew I was hungry, and I knew I needed to eat, but I wanted the bath more. I thought I could control my hunger. Then I smelled the soap and suddenly the Beast was there and I couldn’t stop it!”

  She dropped her face into her hands and turned away so he wouldn’t see her cry. Her back shook as the sobs racked her body.

  “I didn’t want to kill Elizabeth!” she howled between sobs. “I just wanted a bath! I was so dirty!”

  “Ruxandra,” Kade said softly, but she didn’t stop crying. He raised his voice. “Ruxandra! Stop! It wasn’t your fault!”

  Ruxandra shook her head and didn’t look up.

  “Ruxandra, no one knows how vampires work!” Kade’s words penetrated through the fog of her weeping. “No one knows how often they must feed, or what happens to one who’s been living off animal blood. No one blames you—in fact, you are quite remarkable: vampire, woman, Beast. You are amazing, a . . . treasure. Elizabeth is unhurt, and you’ve discovered something vitally important!”

  Ruxandra raised her head. She snuffled back her tears. “I did?”

  “Yes!” Kade’s face glowed with excitement. “You recognized the feeling of hunger. Before, you’d fall asleep, and the Beast would take you. This time, you felt the Beast advancing! You saved Elizabeth because you were able to warn her. Do you know what that means?”

  Ruxandra shook her head. She didn’t understand anything, and she didn’t dare say more for fear she’d start crying again.

  “It means you have control! This is a huge improvement!”

  “I still put people at risk. My control is . . . limited.”

  “Everyone’s control is limited. If we are frightened or starving . . . any being will react to protect itself, to live. You are no different. You merely have different instincts.”

  It was disconcerting to look at herself from this perspective. As if she were a creature like any other, one that God had made to live on this earth. But she wasn’t.

  How do I know that?

  Kade rose to his feet. “I’m going to tell Elizabeth. She’ll be thrilled. I will be back soon, I promise.”

  Ruxandra reached for him. “No, wait! Stop!”

  She shouted loud enough that the guards on the other side of the room winced. Kade hunched over a moment from the force of it.

  He straightened up. “What’s the matter?”

  “I’m hungry again,” Ruxandra said. “I don’t want Elizabeth coming down when I’m hungry.”

  “Of course.” Kade sat back down, not moving the stool away but seeming to hold himself back. “Is the Beast emerging?”

  “I don’t think so.” Ruxandra reached inside her mind, searching for the Beast. It was there but not trying to take over. “I’m not that hungry yet.”

  “We could feed you now. But it might be better to discover what your limits are. Why don’t we wait until you start to feel the Beast emerge? Then we’ll get you something to eat.”

  “Someone, you mean.” Ruxandra couldn’t see the other cells, but she could hear the prisoners talking in low voices or trying to sleep or weeping to themselves.

  “Something,” Kade repeated. “Peasants aren’t human. They’re animals bred for labor.”

  Ruxandra looked away. She knew that wasn’t right. She also knew she was not ready to think about it yet.

  “Now,” said Kade. “Shall I teach you about the world while we wait?”

  Ruxandra’s eyes lit up. “Yes, please!”

  “Then I’ll begin by telling you it is the year of our lord, 1609…

  Kade talked for hours. He described the marvelous inventions and discoveries of the last fifty years: magnifying lenses that allowed one to see the world eight or nine times bigger than it was; spyglasses that allowed one to see at a distance; thermometers that could measure heat and cold in units. He talked about the discovery of a place called America, full of curious savages and even more curious animals, and the burning at the stake of a famous philosopher and alchemist, Giordano Bruno.

  He told her about the Hungarian Empire, about King Rudolph, and about the ranks of its nobility. Ruxandra learned that the Bathory Family was one of the preeminent noble families in the kingdom, and that Elizabeth had four children, one married, the rest living with her family in other parts of Hungary.

  He talked of Vienna, where the king lived, and Ruxandra’s eyes went wide at the idea of a place so large and so filled with people.

  Ruxandra grew hungrier with each passing hour, but the Beast wasn’t yet stirring.

  Kade talked about the castle. Elizabeth’s late husband had given it to her upon their marriage. He told her that Elizabeth had established a gymnaesium—a school for young women—to help educate the daughters of the nobility in their duties and responsibilities.

  In the midst of it, the Beast awoke.

  It didn’t feel separate from Ruxandra. Rather, it felt as though part of her mind was trying to tear itself away from her control and take her body with it. Her legs began trembling, and her hands shaking.

  “Kade.” The panic in her voice stopped him midsentence. “It’s happening.”

  “Guards!” he shouted, rising to his feet. “The man in the third cell. Bring him!”

  The guards ran.

  Ruxandra stayed in her chair. The Beast wanted to rise and throw itself against the bars, to grab Kade and rip his throat open. It wanted to eat, and it didn’t care whom. Ruxandra refused to move. She wouldn’t let it take over. Not this time. Not even a little.

  “What do you want? Stop!” a man shouted. Then steel-wrapped fists slammed repeatedly into flesh. The man cried in pain. Ruxandra smelled blood, fresh and flowing.

  KILL!

  “NO!” Ruxandra grabbed the chair with both hands. “Kade, hurry! It’s nearly free!”

  “They’re coming,” he said. “Just keep fighting it!”

  “I can’t!”

  KILL EAT HUNGRY!

  The soldiers dragged the man to the bars. Kade pulled out the cell key and shoved it in, then kicked away the two beams from the door.

  KILL KILL KILL!

  “Shut up!” Ruxandra screamed. “Kade! Hurry!”

  Kade swung the door wide, and the soldiers hurled the man in. He fell at Ruxandra’s feet. He jumped up at once, but Kade and the soldiers had already pushed the
door closed. Kade turned the key and jumped back. The man swore and rattled the cell door. Then he spun and faced Ruxandra. He was a rough, wiry man of about thirty, with rusty hair and narrow, angry eyes. Thin-faced, with bad teeth, a dirty neck. His hands clenched into fists, and he crouched.

  The Beast leaped forward. KILL!

  Moments later, there was only Ruxandra, looking down at the body before her.

  “You held off the beast.”

  “Barely,” Ruxandra said, and not when I finally had prey.”

  “Barely controlled is still controlled,” Kade said. “Control is the difference between an animal and a person. You recognized when you were hungry and you managed to hold off the Beast until you had. You’ve never done that before and that is a great deal of progress.”

  “I suppose.” She looked at the body. “Who was he?”

  “A criminal,” Kade said. “A peasant who attacked women as they walked in the woods. His sentence was castration and impalement through the hole. You gave him a cleaner death.”

  “I see.” That helped.

  Kade opened the cell door. “The guards will take the body away.”

  Neither of the guards looked happy about the idea. Both grabbed their swords. Ruxandra reached down and clasped the arm of the limp corpse. With ease, she dragged it to the front of the cell and tossed it out. The body flew fifteen feet and fetched up against the tub.

  “Impressive.” Kade closed the door and locked it. “I’ll return with Elizabeth. Hopefully, she will let you out of this cell soon.”

  Soon, Ruxandra thought. How long is soon?

  Elizabeth came down after two more changes of the guards. She wore a blue velvet dress and cloak, wrapped tight around her body. She walked across the dungeon and stopped in front of Ruxandra’s door. Her beautiful face was expressionless as she watched Ruxandra. Then she took out a key and unlocked the cell door.

  “It’s time for you to leave this place, Ruxandra.”

  RUXANDRA STARED AT Elizabeth, unable to believe what the woman had said. Elizabeth turned her back and walked to the dungeon door. She opened it and looked at Ruxandra over her shoulder. Regal, trusting, so feminine. Ruxandra felt butterflies in her stomach again.