Beneath the Scars Read online

  Taryn spoke. “That’s easy enough for you to say. You don’t have a single blemish, so quit trying to tell Marna what she should and shouldn’t do. You have no idea how she feels.”

  “So how do you feel, Taryn? You don’t have any scars, but you won’t get out either. If you forced yourself to meet people, you’d probably get serious about taking off that excess weight and you’d get over this stupid shyness.”

  “Shyness isn’t stupid,” Marna said in defense of her sister. “She can’t help it.”

  “Everybody can help themselves if they try. Some just won’t try.”

  “I suppose if I start going out more my scars will just disappear and I’ll be beautiful, huh? And Taryn’s shyness, as well as her weight problem, will suddenly be gone with the wind.”

  Sharris sighed deeply. “I’m only trying to help you. You can’t make me believe you’re happy just staying here in this house day after day.”

  “We get out,” Taryn said. “We go for walks. We go to the grocery store and to church.”

  “You never walk far away from the house. You go to the store at night when you don’t think you’ll run into so many people. You go to the same church week after week because everybody there knows you already.”

  "We love our church,” Marna said.

  “You need to start loving your lives.” Sharris looked directly at Taryn. “I could get you a date in a minute. Despite your weight, which is your main excuse for everything, you don’t know how many guys have let me know they’re interested in you.”

  There was a sudden silence as Sharris realized what she was saying. Yes, she could get Taryn a date but she didn’t know anyone who would be willing to go out with Marna. “Look, I don’t mean…..I mean…Oh, Marna, there’s somebody out there for everybody. Even you.”

  Even you. The words stung. Marna said nothing, but simply sat there looking down at the floor.

  “That was a terrible thing to say,” Taryn said.

  Sharris jumped to her feet. “I guess it was, but maybe it needed to be said, because I believe somebody really can love you, Marna, despite your scars. The problem is, you don’t believe it, and until you do, it isn’t going to happen.”

  ∞ EIGHT ∞

  “SHARRIS IS RIGHT, LORD,” Marna prayed as she knelt beside her bed that evening. “She didn’t say those things to hurt either Taryn or me. But it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve tried to get over this phobia about the way I look, and I can’t, because every time I look in the mirror, the truth is there staring back at me all over again. Why would any man want somebody like me? If the situation was reversed, and I wasn’t scarred, would I consider spending my life with someone who was?”

  She stayed there a long time, sometimes praying, sometimes waiting silently, wishing God would send some kind of magical answer that would make her feel better about herself. Despite her doubting that anything would happen, she felt more enlightened when she got up than when she’d fallen onto her knees in the first place, and she slept soundly and peacefully all night long.

  Her phone awakened her. Sleepily, she opened her eyes to see the sun shining brilliantly through the window. What time was it? A glance at her clock caused her eyes to widen. It was nine o’clock! She never stayed in bed that late. Jumping to her feet immediately, she grabbed her phone from her nightstand and answered without even checking the caller ID.

  “Good morning, Marna!”

  Conrad? Her eyes became quizzical. Why would he be calling her? Did he have another customer for them? “Conrad. Hi.”

  “It’s a beautiful day, is it not? And I want you to take me to the mall to help me pick out a Christmas gift for my grandson.”

  A Christmas gift? In July? “But, Conrad, Christmas is five months away.”

  He laughed. “Oh, my! Did I say Christmas? I mean for his birthday. It’s next month. So, what time can you be here?”

  “I – I can’t. I have work to do today and….”

  “Now, Marna, surely you can make a little time for a lonely old man. I’ll be waiting for you to get here.”

  He hung up the phone before she could say anything more. For a long time, she just stood there, staring at her phone in her hand. Had this just happened or did she dream it? Until a week ago, she hadn’t seen Conrad Marks for several years and now he was wanting her to take him shopping. It didn’t make sense.

  She told herself he was simply lonely and wanted some company. But he had Devon there with him. Why would he be lonely? Unless Devon didn’t spend much time with him. Maybe he was gone a lot.

  The thought of Devon caused her heart to leap and it angered her. He could never be more than a friend. He may not even want to be that. She hadn’t seen him or heard from him for a week, since he’d taken Sharris out. Remembrance of the time they spent together while waiting for her sister to get ready brought a smile. He’d been so easy to talk to and she didn’t know when she’d laughed so much.

  But he was only there because he was waiting for Sharris, her beautiful, unmarred sister. Marna sighed. He would never be there because he wanted to be with her. She may as well spend the day with Conrad. Maybe his eyesight was failing and he couldn’t actually see all her scars. Maybe he was so old that he didn’t care what she looked like.

  She took a shower, dressed in her best pair of blue jeans and a soft red pullover top. After a quick look in the mirror, she decided she needn’t take time to apply any cosmetics. Nothing could cover what she needed to hide. So why try? The one thing she did do was brush her long hair until it shone. Too bad the beauty of it couldn’t cover up all the ugly stuff.

  “Stop it!” she said aloud to her reflection. “All you do is belittle yourself and feel sorry for yourself. Is that what the Lord wants you to do? He made you the way you are. He loves you no matter what you look like, so stop complaining and be glad somebody, even if it is Conrad, wants to spend time with you. Didn’t you ever stop to think of how lonely he must be? Stop making a mountain out of every molehill. All right, already?”

  When she turned and saw Taryn standing at her door, she grinned and shrugged her shoulders.

  “What in the world was that all about?” Taryn wanted to know. Yawning, she flipped her hair away from her face and fastened it with a rubber band.

  “So, how much did you hear?”

  “Enough to make me wonder if you’re losing your mind or just finding it. What’s up?”

  She told her about Conrad’s call. When she finished, her eyes widened. “Hey! You can go with us.”

  Taryn laughed. “You afraid to be alone with him?”

  Marna sighed. “What in the world is that supposed to mean? Oh, just forget I mentioned it.”

  Taryn’s expression sobered. “You know, the two of us were supposed to work on the big ad for the grand opening of Carringer Fabrics.”

  “You get it started and we’ll finish it up this afternoon. Surely, he won’t want to be out too long. He’ll probably be worn out in an hour.”

  DEVON’S TRUCK was in the driveway when she pulled in. So much for her thoughts that he might be ignoring his grandfather. He was there and Conrad was the one leaving. After a huge sigh, she walked quickly to the door and rang the bell.

  Devon stood on the other side when it opened. He was dressed in blue jeans and a light purple button-down oxford shirt, with slippers on his feet and a cup of coffee in his hand. When he saw Marna, he smiled.

  She would’ve loved to take that smile and keep it with her forever. Was he better looking every time she saw him? She smiled back at him.

  He pushed open the door, inviting her in without saying a word. As soon as she was inside, he spoke. “It’s great to see you, Marna. I wasn’t expecting you to be the one on the doorstep right now.”

  Conrad hadn’t told him she was coming. “I came to see your grandfather. We have a little business to take care of.”

  “Always business, huh? I heard Pops in the shower not too long ago, so he may be a while, so let’s have
some coffee. Did he know you were coming?”

  “Yes, he knew, and I would love some coffee.”

  He led her to the kitchen and told her to sit down by the table. “Plain, cream or sugar?”

  “Plain.”

  He grinned. “You’re my kind of woman. I never did know how anyone could ruin a great cup of coffee with a bunch of flavorings.” He poured her a cup and set it in front of her, then sat down across from her.

  She could smell the heavenly fragrance of his cologne, intermingled with the aroma of coffee. A delicious combination to her way of thinking, one she wouldn’t mind inhaling often. Maybe even forever. Quickly, she stopped her thoughts. That kind of dreaming was dangerous.

  “So what are you and Pops into this morning?” he asked her then.

  “I’d tell you if I could, but it’s a bit of a surprise. So you probably shouldn’t ask me again.”

  He laughed. “A surprise, huh? He has something up his sleeve that he doesn’t want me to know about. He’s good at stuff like that. I’ll never forget the time he surprised me with a piano.”

  She sipped the coffee. “You play?”

  “No. Can’t play a lick, but he wanted me to learn so badly that he bought the piano anyway, even knowing I wasn’t living here to practice on it if I did want to learn. You’ll never believe what he wound up doing with it.”

  She waited.

  “He wound up learning to play it himself!”

  “Really? This had to have been several years ago, when he was younger.”

  “It was only ten years ago, believe it or not, not long after my grandmother passed away. When he finally realized I wasn’t interested in it, he decided to learn himself. A few years later, Dad got really sick and was diagnosed with cancer. Before Dad died, Pops played a beautiful song for him that he wrote himself, and sang it, too. The last thing Dad did before he passed was to sing that very song.”

  She felt a tear trying to surface and fought it. “That’s so touching.”

  “Pops has a heart of gold. I’m glad I’m here with him for a while. He’s already ninety and he may not be around a whole lot longer.”

  “But then again, he might outlive both of us.”

  “We have no guarantee whose going to go first, do we?”

  “I would love to hear him play.”

  “I’ve heard him practicing while I’ve been here. It would probably make him really happy if you asked him to play for you.”

  She took another sip of coffee. “How long will you be staying, Devon?”

  “I’m not sure. I told Pops I needed a vacation but I’m actually working while I’m here. I just wanted to be with him for a while. He hasn’t been feeling well.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. I didn’t know.”

  Devon smiled. “You have a caring heart. You’re also easy to talk to, do you know that? I’m a lot more comfortable with you than I was with Sharris, but please don’t tell her I said that.”

  Her heart did a perfect flip flop. Did he mean that? She returned his smile, hoping her true feelings didn’t come through when she spoke. “I enjoy talking to you.”

  “You look really pretty when you smile like that.”

  Acutely reminded of her scars, she quickly turned away.

  “Don’t look the other way. Beneath those scars, you’re just as pretty as you’ve ever been. Don’t you know that?”

  It was probably the most convenient time for Conrad to enter the room. For Marna anyway.

  Leaning heavily on his cane, he looked at her with apologetic eyes. “Marna, I’m sorry I took so long. I wanted to spruce up a bit, so you wouldn’t be embarrassed by being seen with me in public. Do I look okay?”

  Marna and Devon smiled at each other, then at Conrad. She had to admit he did look nice. He was dressed in light grey slacks and a darker grey shirt and his silvery hair was shiny, clean and combed into a wave.

  When neither of them said anything, Conrad laughed. “Okay, I get it. I’m okay – for a ninety year old man, right?”

  “Pops,” Devon said with a chuckle in his voice, “you don’t look a day over 89 and a half.”

  Everyone laughed.

  Conrad looked at his watch.

  “Are you ready to leave?” Marna asked.

  Conrad hesitated for a moment. “I suppose it’s time, isn’t it? I really appreciate your doing this, Marna.” He turned his eyes toward Devon. “Not many young women would take time to take an old man shopping, would they, son? This one is one in a million.”

  Marna felt her cheeks redden at the unexpected compliment. She’d really had no choice about taking him. She’d tried to get out of it and he wouldn’t let her.

  The doorbell rang.

  “Let me get that,” Conrad said. “I’ll be right back.”

  As soon as he disappeared from sight, Devon looked at Marna and smiled. “Shopping, huh? A real business adventure.”

  She grinned and shrugged her shoulders.

  “He must be wanting to get something for me, since he asked you, and not me, to take him. Since it’s not my birthday or anything, there’s no telling what he has in mind.”

  It wasn’t his birthday? First, Conrad had told her he wanted to look for a Christmas gift and changed it to Devon’s birthday when she reminded him it was only July.

  She didn’t have time to say anything more or ponder on the question of her mind before Conrad returned to the kitchen, followed by a tall, blonde-haired young man. He was immaculately dressed in Levis and a short sleeved black tee that openly displayed a fantastic muscular build.

  Marna felt the return of her insecurity. She hated to meet strangers, especially in such small places where every one of her scars was the most visible. And especially handsome men. If she could’ve avoided looking at him, she would’ve done it.

  “Devon, Marna, this is my friend Donovan Martin. He says he was just passing by and thought he’d drop in and say hello. Wasn’t that thoughtful of him?”

  She waited for the shocked expression to come across his face, but instead he smiled broadly and his blue eyes twinkled, almost as if he was actually enjoying – and liking - what he was looking at. “Marna, I’m so glad to meet you. Do you know you have the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen? And you might not believe it, but that little wink you have in that one eye is downright seductive.”

  She glanced at Conrad and then at Devon. One of them had better say something and quick because she was so stunned she was suddenly speechless. Getting a compliment from a handsome man, who was a total stranger, instead of a look of repulsiveness was totally new and different for her.

  As if sensing her uneasiness, Devon smiled and reached out his hand to Donovan. “It is, isn’t it? Nice to meet you, Donovan. Coffee?”

  “Oh, thanks, but I can’t stay. I was just passing by and had an urge to stop.” Donovan turned again to Marna. “This old codger told me you’re taking him shopping. I hope you can keep up with him.”

  She couldn’t help laughing.

  Donovan did, too. “Look, I won’t keep you any longer. Have fun.” Turning to Conrad, he continued. “I envy you, my friend, for having such a beautiful escort.”

  He called her beautiful. It was the very first time he’d ever seen her and he was calling her beautiful.

  ∞ NINE ∞

  SHE TOLD TARYN about the day’s excursion as they worked together on the ad that evening. “I was right. He did wear out fast, but he refused to stop until he’d bought me a delicious lunch. Which, by the way, was the only thing he bought at all. He’s such a sweet old gentlemen. I enjoyed being with him.”

  Taryn chuckled. “Sharris is right about one of the things she said. Nobody but you would get so excited about old people. Yesterday, it was the old man in the wheelchair and today it’s Conrad.”

  “I wonder if Ottie’s son will really call about our getting together. I’d love a chance to hear his memories of our grandfather.”

  “That would be fun for me, too. Sharris mi
ght even enjoy it. Tell me some more about Donovan.”

  “I don’t know anything more to tell you. He just popped in to say hi to Conrad. He’s a blonde giant that resembles some kind of god. He stayed for about two whole minutes and then he was gone again”

  “And he said you were beautiful.”

  “It was nice to hear, even if he didn’t mean it.”

  “Why would he bother to say it if he didn’t mean it?

  “Maybe because he knew right away that I rarely, if ever, heard it and he wanted to flatter me. You can imagine how someone that looked like him might have an ego that gets its boost by making ugly girls swoon.”

  Taryn sighed. “Yea, sure.” She hovered her computer mouse over an area of the ad on the screen. “Do you think this needs changed?”

  The conversation was over.

  DEVON sat in the kitchen the next morning, listening to his grandfather playing the piano in the other room. He’d never had a real lesson, but had picked up everything by himself, and he was good at it. He seemed to really enjoy it, too. Since Devon had been there, he’d played often and for long periods of time.

  Marna had commented she’d like to hear him play. Maybe he should call her and ask her to come over. He could slip her inside quickly and let her listen before Conrad knew she was there. Devon noticed his grandfather played much better when he didn’t know he had an audience.

  Would she come? She was probably busy, after giving up most of her day the day before to take Conrad to the mall. He still had no idea why he had wanted to go and why he hadn’t asked him to take him instead of Marna. He didn’t carry any purchases in when they returned, so he hadn’t actually done any shopping.

  Devon wouldn’t admit it, even to himself, how close he’d come to asking if they cared if he went with them. It puzzled him now, because he hated shopping. Why he’d even considered it was a mystery. Was it because he just wanted to be with Marna, the same as his grandfather did? He shook his head. That was a crazy thought. Or was it? He enjoyed being with her. He was comfortable with her and felt in his heart that he could probably talk to her about anything that was on his mind. He wasn’t like that with everyone. Basically, Devon had an inner shyness. It didn’t keep him from socializing with his friends or conversing with business associates, but it was there, just the same. When it came to talking to perfect strangers, he was often at a loss for anything to say. He never felt that way with Marna.