Beneath the Scars Read online

  Conrad didn’t answer.

  Devon continued. “And what really doesn’t make any sense to me at all is that I’d rather be taking Marna out than Sharris. Does that sound crazy to you?”

  Conrad still didn’t reply.

  “Pops?” Looking over at him, Devon smiled. His grandfather was fast asleep.

  He stood up, carefully unfolded the blanket draped over the back of Conrad’s chair and spread it over him. Then he sat down again, allowing his thoughts to return to the upcoming evening with Sharris.

  What was Sharris like since she was grown? He couldn’t help wondering about the woman who had, in his absence, replaced the little smart-mouthed child he’d left behind fifteen years ago. It occurred to him that she had always openly spoken her mind, even at only nine years old. Taryn was the oldest at eleven and she was always quiet. Marna was - he searched his mind for how to describe her - sweet. But she’d also only been six.

  How much had they changed? Or had they changed at all? The accident would’ve changed Marna. He was sure of that. How could she not be bitter about being scarred for life? Would it have affected the other two as well, because of their love for their sister?

  It surprised him when he found himself thinking of what had happened to him when he was sixteen and the girl he thought he would love forever, Rachel, got pregnant. Then she’d miscarried and soon afterward they parted. The incident had changed him, and he was sure it had done the same thing to Rachel. Their scars couldn’t be physically seen by anyone looking at them. They could hide them from the world. Marna couldn’t. Everyone that looked at her could see that something terrible had happened to her.

  He sighed. It wasn’t fair, but what was fair in life? Was it fair that his child had died? Even though he was young, he had loved it. Was it fair that the miscarriage had killed the love he and Rachel had for each other? Was it fair that, no matter how many women he dated afterward, he could never again feel the depth of that very first love? His mind ran on. Was it fair that his father had died an excruciatingly painful death as the result of cancer when he was only fifty years old? No. It was just as tragic as the death of Billy and Martha Cord.

  He stood up. All this thinking was getting him nowhere. He was going to pick up Sharris, enjoy the evening with her, and stop wondering and worrying about all the things that were happening that shouldn’t be that were out of his control.

  WHEN THE DOORBELL RANG, Sharris called from her room. “One of you, please get the door. He’s early and I’m not ready yet.”

  Marna waited, hoping Taryn would let Devon in and she wouldn’t have to see him again, but there was no movement or sound from her sister’s room.

  The bell rang again.

  “Marna! Taryn! One of you get the door!”

  Marna opened it, and her first thought was that he was even better looking than he’d been the first time she saw him. How could it be possible? Forcing aside the question, she smiled. “Come on in, Devon. Sharris will be ready in a minute.”

  He couldn’t help noticing how beautiful her smile was, despite the scars surrounding it. It was a real, genuine smile, not one that looked pasted on, and he liked it. He smiled back and followed her into the house. “This is a nice place. Do you and your sisters own it or rent it?”

  “We bought it with the insurance money. It’s a big house but we like lots of room to roam around.” She led him into the living room and they sat down on the sofa.

  After a brief moment of silence, Marna was about to say something, anything to set them both at ease, when Sharris’ voice came from her room. “Devon, I’m sorry I’m not ready. Maybe you and Marna can have some coffee while you’re waiting.”

  He looked at Marna.

  “Do you want some?” she asked.

  “Not really, but I’ll sit in the kitchen with you if you do.”

  “I’d just as soon stay here.”

  He smiled, then laughed. “I can’t believe the memory those particular words brought to me.”

  She looked at him quizzically.

  “Back when we were all kids, you got mad at your sisters one time and decided to run away. Do you remember?”

  “I probably wanted to run away from them lots of times,” she said, grinning.

  “Well, I only know about the one time because I was there. You were so mad at them for something or other and you started into the house to pack your suitcase. You were so little. I remember waiting for you to come back out, and when you did, you were dragging that suitcase like it weighed a ton. I asked where you were going and you said you didn’t know. Then I told you it would be getting dark soon, so you should probably be on your way. Remember, I was probably about ten or eleven at the time so I thought I was old enough to use reverse psychology on you.”

  She laughed, enjoying listening to him talk.

  “Well, you stood there and big old tears started filling up those beautiful blue eyes. And then you sat down on that big old suitcase, put your hands under your chin and said, ‘I’m not going! I’d just as soon stay here and let Sharris and Taryn run away!’”

  They laughed together.

  “I can’t believe you remembered that,” she said then.

  “Me neither. When you made that comment that you’d just as soon stay here, it all came back to me. Funny how things happen, isn’t it?”

  “How true. I was so small, though, that I honestly don’t remember very much about you, except what Dad and Mom would occasionally mention after you were gone. What did you do after you left here, Devon?” His little story had done wonders to break the ice between them, and she found herself becoming comfortable with him.

  “Nothing special. Went to school and college like everybody else. Fell in and out of love. Got into a few messes that Dad had to get me out of. Just the regular stuff. I finally became a computer technician. That’s about it. What about you?”

  “Pretty much the same. You said you were twelve and I was six when you left, so you must be…..”

  “Twenty-Seven. Age slips up on us, doesn’t it? I’m getting old faster than I expected to.”

  “You’re only as old as you feel.”

  He snickered. “Don’t say that. Sometimes I feel like I’m as old as my grandfather.”

  “He’s such a sweetheart. He thinks we don’t know that he’s the one who gives us those big tips at the end of our contracts with the clients he sends our way.”

  “Don’t ever let him know that you know. He gets joy out of doing stuff like that. Always has.”

  “I can’t help but wonder why you’re still single and dating.” She chuckled. “Maybe I shouldn’t ask, but how else can I find out the answer?”

  “I just never found the right one.” Even as Rachel’s face came to his mind, he quickly brushed it away and refused to lose his smile. “What about you?”

  She swallowed and looked away.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I was almost engaged once, when I was eighteen, but then the fire happened.” She stopped abruptly.

  Reaching over, he patted her hand but said nothing.

  She went on. “It’s okay. He probably wasn’t the right one for me anyway. I’m happy with my life, and it’s all right if I never marry.” Once again, she chuckled. “My sisters and I made a deal when we bought this house that the last one of us to remain single would be the sole owner of it, so I guess that will be me. Someday, I’ll have it all.”

  “I don’t believe you’ll be the last one single, even if you are the youngest.”

  “You know I’m not referring to my age.”

  “Well, you don’t need to be thinking there’s any other reason. There’s more to you than those scars, Marna, and someday some guy’s gonna realize it. And there goes your house!”

  They both laughed again. No matter what he said, it always seemed to be the right thing to ease any discomfort she was feeling.

  “So what about Taryn? I haven’t seen her yet.”

  “I think I need to go get
her. She’s probably deep into a new computer ad or something. If she knew you were here, she’d want to say hello.”

  “Go get her then. For old times’ sake.”

  Marna disappeared down the hallway and reappeared a moment later, alone.

  His quizzical eyes met hers.

  “I was wrong. She isn’t on the computer. She’s sound asleep.”

  She sat down again and found herself confiding in him about her concerns over Taryn’s shyness. He listened, not saying much except that she’d surely come out of her shell soon. Then they continued talking about first one thing and then another, and Marna found herself laughing more than she had in a very long time.

  Then Sharris came into the room.

  Marna couldn’t help but notice the way Devon’s eyes lit up when he looked at her. Her golden blonde hair was piled high on her head, with small tendrils over her ears, and large but feminine earrings dangling from the lobes. Her makeup was flawless, giving her skin an even smoother and creamier look than it actually was and her delicately defined mascara and eyeliner brought out the sparkle and shine in her blue eyes. Her soft mint green dress fit perfectly, displaying every beautiful curve of her body in just the right way. Her lipstick was a luscious pink, and her smile would steal the heart of any man looking at her.

  Marna could see that Devon was no exception.

  As soon as they were gone, Marna went to her room and stood in front of her mirror. There was no comparison between her and her sister. She had never intended to see Devon that evening, and she wasn’t wearing a bit of makeup to even try to cover her scars. Her one good eye was as plain as the squinted one, with no eyeliner or mascara to accentuate it. She was dressed in an old tee shirt and blue jeans. The only pretty thing about her was her shiny long brown hair, hanging loose on her shoulders.

  Who would notice her hair, with everything else being so ugly? Remembrance of the little boy at the house next door to Conrad’s came to mind. He’d told her she had pretty hair. His sisters had noticed her scars. He had noticed her hair.

  She smiled at the thought.

  ∞ SEVEN ∞

  A WEEK PASSED and Sharris rarely spoke about her evening with Devon. Whenever Marna or Taryn asked her about it, she just smiled and said they’d had a nice time. Once, she commented that he talked a little too much and didn’t give her a chance to say hardly anything. It bothered her that he wasn’t complimentary enough about her appearance, too, after she had gone to so much trouble to look the very best she could.

  The three sisters went to church Sunday morning. It was one place that neither Marna, with her insecurity about her scars, nor Taryn, because of her shyness, ever missed. Sharris, sadly, went because it was one of the best places to socialize.

  That particular day, even though Marna tried to keep her mind on the pastor’s sermon, she often found her gaze drawn to a silvery-haired, elderly gentleman in a wheelchair a couple rows in front of where she was sitting. She didn’t remember seeing him before, but what caught her attention was that he seemed so happy, and there was a continual smile on his lips. It wasn’t long until his good disposition started rubbing off on her, and she decided to talk to him when the service ended. The least she could do was welcome him and invite him back. She liked elderly people and enjoyed being with them. They were never taken aback by her appearance like the younger ones.

  When Taryn and Sharris stood up to leave, Marna told them to go on, that she’d join them in a few minutes, and started making her way toward the old man. He hadn’t moved at all but was quietly watching as the others exited. A few stopped to shake his hand. Others simply passed by, eager to get on with their day. She couldn’t help thinking how pleased he would have been if more people had said a word or two to him. Wouldn’t it have also been pleasing to God?

  Noticing her for the first time, he looked up at her and smiled. What a smile! It was bright enough to light up the room, and it was not only in his eyes but covered his entire face. She hoped the one she gave him back was even half as enchanting.

  “Hi. I’m Marna Cord. I don’t remember seeing you before and wanted to welcome you.”

  He took her hand between both of his and squeezed it. Not once did he lose his continual smile as he looked into her eyes, and there wasn’t a trace of shock over what he saw. “Thank you very much, my beautiful young lady. I’m Ottie, and I’m so happy to meet you.”

  The clearing of a throat caught her attention and she turned to see a tall, good looking man standing there beside a small dark-haired young woman and a beautiful dark-haired little girl. She should have known an old man in a wheelchair wouldn’t be there alone. Immediately, she felt the return of her anxiety about what she knew their first impression would be. It always happened and it was always the same. Pretending a calm she didn’t feel, she smiled at them, even as she waited for the shocked expressions she knew would come.

  Nothing happened, except that the man smiled back at her and spoke to her as if she didn’t look any differently than anybody else. “I’m Lane Monroe, and this is my wife Brynn and our daughter Jada. Ottie is my father. So you’re Marna Cord? That name sounds familiar to me.”

  Ottie laughed. “Of course it does. I should’ve recognized it immediately. Was your granddaddy’s name Michael, your daddy Billy?”

  “Yes.”

  “My goodness! What a small world it is. I never came to this church before and the first person I meet is the little granddaughter of my old and dear friend! We had some good times back in our day, but sadly, years and life separated us for a long time. Then old Mike was gone. I didn’t know your daddy too well, honey, but if he was anything like Mike, he had to be a good fellow. I’m so sorry about what happened. Read it all in the paper and said a lot of prayers for your recovery. You know, those scars are simply a reminder of how good God was when He spared your life.”

  How many times she had heard that and tried to believe it. So many of those times, she failed.

  Ottie continued. “Don’t you have some sisters? Are they here?”

  “They’ve already gone to the car.”

  “I want to meet them. I can’t believe it. Old Mike’s granddaughters. I’m so glad we decided to visit this church today.”

  Lane spoke. “I really hate to break up this special reunion, but we’ve got to go. Marna, why don’t you give me your number and I’ll call you? All of us can get together sometime and let Dad relive some memories of his times with your grandfather. I’ll bet you and your sisters would all enjoy it.”

  As Lane was speaking, Marna couldn’t help but notice the intent stare of the little girl, Jada. Looking directly at her, she smiled, and then turned her attention to supplying Lane with her phone number.

  Jada spoke then, her voice soft and timid. “What happened to your face?”

  She wasn’t surprised, but even as she told herself she should be used to it by now, she still found it hard to smile and talk about it. As it turned out, she didn’t have to say a word because Jada spoke again immediately.

  “Does it hurt?”

  “Not anymore.”

  “Can you see?”

  “Yes, but not as clearly out of the one eye.”

  Jada continued. “I’m glad it doesn’t hurt and that you can see. Do you have any children, Miss Marna? Do they look like you?”

  Do they look like you? It was the first time she’d ever been asked that question. In the mind of this child, did she expect any children she might have would also be scarred? How many others had wondered the same thing?

  “Jada,” her mother scolded her, “Marna was injured in an accident and it hurt her face very badly. It doesn’t mean her children would look any different than any others.”

  Tears welled in Jada’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Miss Marna.”

  Marna smiled. “It’s okay. No, I don’t have any children. I’m not married.”

  “Because of the way you look?”

  “Jada!”

  MARNA THOUGHT of the conversati
on later as she sat in the living room watching TV. Taryn was with her, but neither of them had any idea where Sharris might be. When she looked over at her sister, she saw she was sound asleep. She grimaced. What a life they had. She tried to tell herself she was happy and contented but just about the time she started to believe it, something happened to make her wonder. Sometimes it was something as small as the innocent question of a child.

  The silence was shattered when the door opened and Sharris appeared a moment later in the living room. She sighed. “My goodness! Look at the two of you,” she said. “Why don’t you get out and have a little fun every once in a while?”

  Taryn’s eyes flew open. “Oh! Sharris! When did you get home?”

  Sharris plopped down in a nearby recliner. “I have an idea. Why don’t the three of us go to a movie this evening? There’s a great comedy playing at the Twin Cinema in Andrews.”

  Marna looked at Taryn. “What do you say? I could use a good laugh.”

  Taryn yawned. “Okay. Tell Sharris about who you met after church today, Marna.”

  Sharris had left church with some friends and neither Marna nor Taryn had seen her since. She looked from one to the other. “So, who’d you meet?”

  Marna told her about Ottie and how he’d been good friends with their grandfather.

  Sharris started to laugh. “Nobody but you would get so excited about meeting an old man in a wheelchair! You need to get a life, sis.”

  “I have a life.”

  “Sure, you do, and so does Taryn. You both spend every bit of it here in this house. You need to get out and meet people.”

  “I don’t…..” Marna began but Sharris cut her off.

  “I know. You don’t do it because you think everybody that sees you is going to think you’re hideous looking. As long as you think that way, then that’s how it will be. If you get a better attitude, everything will change and you’ll be a lot happier.”