In a time of chaos, the #1 New York Times-bestselling political humorist asks his fellow Americans to take it down a notch. Is there an upside to being woke (and unable to get back to sleep)? If we license dentists, why don't we license politicians? Is your juicer sending fake news to your FitBit about what's in your refrigerator? The legendary P.J. O'Rourke addresses these questions and more in this hilarious new collection of essays about our nation's propensity for anger and perplexity, which includes such gems as "An Inaugural Address I'd Like to Hear" (Ask not what your country can do for you, ask how I can get the hell out of here) and "Sympathy vs. Empathy," which contemplates whether it's better to hold people's hands or bust into their heads. Also included is a handy quiz to find out where you stand on the Coastals-vs.-Heartlanders spectrum. From the author of Parliament of Whores, None of My Business, and other modern... Views: 612
A stoner, an Instagram model, a Czech oligarch, and a missing unicorn. Nick Fox and Kate O'Hare have their work cut out for them in their weirdest, wildest adventure yet in this latest entry in the New York Times bestselling series by Janet and Peter Evanovich.Straight arrow FBI Agent Kate O'Hare always plays by the rules. Charming Con Man Nicholas Fox makes them up as he goes along. She thinks he's nothing but a scoundrel. He thinks she just needs to lighten up. They're working together to tackle the out-of-bounds cases ordinary FBI agents can't touch. And, their relationship? Well, there hasn't been so much explosive chemistry since Nitro was introduced to Glycerin.Next on the docket: The mysterious disappearance of the Silicon Valley billionaire, known as the Big Kahuna. Kate's been assigned to find him but no one seems particularly keen on helping. His twenty-six year old adult actress wife-turned Instagram model wife and his shady Czech business partner... Views: 612
Snap, Crackle, Pop Culture! Have a Euro sandwich with a side of Americana!A collection of humorous articles and cheaply personal musings that cover the full spectrum from an app that translates Keith Richards into English to proof that Ringo broke up the Beatles. Disney buys the Holy Land! Chicago changes its name to Boston! Twitter success in 10 easy tweets and other essential insights.Snap, Crackle, Pop Culture! Have a Euro sandwich with a side of Americana!An app that translates Keith Richards into English. Disney buys the Holy Land just after Chicago changes its name to Boston. Proof that Ringo broke up the Beatles and Twitter success in 10 easy tweets.A collection of humorous articles and cheaply personal musings that cover the full spectrum from high tech to low brow.Offered as a free e-book (wherever possible) in the hope that you’ll be entertained and intrigued enough to read "No Roads Lead to Rome" and "Aqueduct to Nowhere." Views: 611
Journal: day 317It rains every day here. Every now and then it slows to a trickle and the sun peeks through broken clouds for a few moments, but mostly it falls in great torrents of rain; constant, pounding, maddening. I listen to it, day and night, as it falls outside. The sound of it hitting the metal roof is a constant. Ting, ting, ting, it goes day after day and night after night.Journal: day 1My name is Jack Timmerson, and this is my journal. I have been assigned to Sarguss II as Technician 1st class. I am responsible for running the pumping station located on the planet, and if anything goes wrong I fix it. I am numero uno, the man in charge. Sounds impressive until you find out that I am also the only person on the station, on the planet in fact, and the pumping station is completely self-repairing. I am the proverbial third wheel, an appendix assigned more from tradition than need.Earth: Two years earlierThe human race had almost ended its sovereignty as the dominant species on earth. Centuries of pollution and wanton ecological madness had seen to that. They had tried to fix it, they really had tried; the atmosphere was actually in pretty good shape. The trouble was the water. That was beyond fixing. They’d stopped the pollution, but not the water consumption; free water was disappearing faster than it could be replaced. More and more water was being diverted from lakes and rivers to agriculture, industry, and humanity’s insatiable need and desire for it. On a world that was 75% covered with water they were dying for the lack of it. Some genius had come up with a way to desalinate the oceans. That was all well and good but the oceans, just like everything else, were a limited resource and part of a closed ecosystem. The planet was dying, terminal, irreversible. The first water riots had started over a century ago. They were growing worse as the water grew scarcer. Not a day passed without one and the world council had adapted harsher and harsher means of dealing with them. It was now a capital offense to participate in one, and thousands had died in the street from the effects of gas and bullets. It didn’t help, the people were too scared, too hopeless, and the rioting continued. Then a miracle happened.Dr. Henry Fredricson, NAS Spokesman – speaking at the opening of the Space Elevator“Certainly, nanoscience and technology isn't a secret. It's about the ability to see and to control individual atoms and molecules. Everything on Earth is made up of atoms—the food we eat, the clothes we wear, the buildings and houses we live in – our own bodies, but something as small as an atom is impossible to see with the naked eye. In fact, it’s impossible to see with most microscopes. It is only within the last century that the microscopes needed to see things at the nanoscale were invented. Making materials at the nanoscale level takes advantage of their enhanced properties; such as higher strength, lighter weight, increased control of light spectrum, and greater chemical reactivity than their larger-scale siblings. The Space Elevator was made possible by using nano-engineered carbon tubules for its creation. One end is anchored to a large station in the ocean, and the other end to an asteroid already in orbit. The cable running between these two points needed to be made of the strongest, yet lightest, material possible and nanocarbon fits the bill perfectly. With this elevator mankind will be able to receive water from Sarguss II.”Journal: day 105It’s raining again. That isn’t unusual, of course, it rains here all the time. Every day. Incessantly. Constantly. Maddeningly. It rains. Views: 611
She expected to die saving her world…
Magna’s existence was once filled with laughter, love and joy. Her life changes in a single night when a mysterious object falls from the sky into the ocean and she wakes to find herself held captive in her own body. As the centuries pass, she becomes known as the Sea Witch—a creature who is feared and reviled. Her efforts to save the Seven Kingdoms and destroy the alien creature living inside her should have ended both their lives—instead, Magna wakes to find herself in a strange, new realm.
Gabe Lightfoot and his best friend, Kane Field, have stood side by side through thick and thin. Brothers by circumstance, they have seen the darker side of life and lived to remember it. When Gabe rescues a wounded woman in the waters off the coast of Oregon, they have no idea what’s in store for them.
It doesn’t take long for Magna to learn that she is no safer in this new world than she was in her own. Fearful of endangering the two men who have taken her under their wing, Magna is torn between trying to return to her world or staying in this one.
The choice may be decided for her when strangers come to town searching for clues regarding a series of strange disappearances. Can Gabe and Kane protect her from those who would lock her up to study her, or will the curse of the Sea Witch destroy them as well? Views: 611
"[W]ill generate holiday spirit in even the most Scrooge-like reader." Kirkus Review, Starred ReviewAll Suzanne St. Michelle wants is an over-the-top, eggnog-induced holiday with her best friend in Credence, Colorado. But when her hoity-toity parents insist she come home for Christmas in New York, she blurts out that her sexy landlord is actually her boyfriend and she can't leave him—Joshy loves Christmas. The more twinkle lights the better.Rancher Joshua Grady does not love Christmas. Or company, or chatty women. Unfortunately for him, the chattiest woman ever has rented the cottage on his ranch, invited her rich, art-scene parents, and now insists he play "fake rancher boyfriend" in a production of the Hokiest Christmas Ever. And somehow...she gets him to agree.Apparently, he'll do anything to get his quiet life back. At least there's mistletoe every two feet—and kissing Suzy is surprisingly easy. But... Views: 610
In this fast, funny tale, a thirteen–year–old boy in the Wonder Years era searches for cool. Can he live up to his big brother's rep? Tastes a little like Stand By Me, A Christmas Story, and The Wonder Years. Previously published in The Write Side Up.In this fast, funny tale, a thirteen–year–old boy in the Wonder Years era searches for cool. Can he live up to his big brother's rep? Tastes a little like Stand By Me, A Christmas Story, and The Wonder Years. Previously published in The Write Side Up. Views: 609
The "HVZA: Hudson Valley Zombie Apocalypse" novels have created a terrifying world where a mysterious parasite has turned ordinary people into killers and cannibals. This short story begins at the onset of the infection, at the region's largest shopping mall, the Palisades Center in West Nyack, NY.The "HVZA: Hudson Valley Zombie Apocalypse" novels have created a terrifying world where a mysterious parasite has turned ordinary people into killers and cannibals. This short story begins at the onset of the infection, at the region's largest shopping mall, the Palisades Center in West Nyack, NY. Follow the lives of several people as they attend the sale, only to come face to face with their worst nightmares. Some will survive, and some will die, but no one will ever be the same. Views: 607
Callie has finally met the man of her dreams, Adrian. There's just one obstacle between her and her happily ever after: Melody, her mother-in-law. After Callie and Adrian's engagement party venue is flooded, Melody swoops in to "save" the day in what looks more like a hostile takeover. Is there a compromise to keep everyone happy or will Callie and Adrian find an escape route from all the drama?Book of magic is the second part of a sword and sorcery series that has all the tropes of high fantasy and fast-paced adventure. The stories are rounded, have independent endings and can be read as standalone shorts. Read together, they make for a longer adventure.This story introduces Dun, an apprentice wizard with unique talents. He returns in part four, The Isles of Krake and the upcoming fifth story Dog’s Blade.1. Sword of the Sands2. Book of Magic3. Sword in the City4. The Isles of Krake5. Dog’s Blade - Expected end of March 2017. Also expected around that time is Swords and Magic; bundle of the first five stories. Views: 606
Kipp Kindle and his two friends, Tobias Treachery and Cymphany Chan, are back defending their weird and wonderful town, Huggabie Falls. Something indescribable is making everyone worry that life might be more exciting if they lived in the neighbouring town of Near Huggabie Falls. Illustrated throughout by acclaimed Melbourne cartoonist Andrew Weldon, this is the hilarious conclusion to a beloved series.'Wonderfully weird and lots of fun!' Andy Griffiths on The Extremely Weird Thing that Happened in Huggabie Falls 'An inventive, engagingly offbeat tale.' Adelaide Advertiser on The Extremely Weird Thing that Happened in Huggabie Falls'The pages are packed with fun and action, and Cece manages to balance on the edge of clever-silliness...it's a laugh out loud, quirky, rollicking read.' CBCA Reading Time on The Extremely Weird Thing that Happened in Huggabie Falls 'Packed with twists,... Views: 604
The Safety Dance ... to some a forgotten pop hit from the 1980s ... to Crispin it signifies more: a whole lot more. In his quest to uncover the hidden secret of The Safety Dance he will encounter ridicule, despair, dwarves, and the psychotic denizens of an obscure English town. Read on if you dare...Shakespeare called his play ‘Richard III’ a tragedy. Its centre is the disappearance of 12 year-old Prince Edward and 10 year-old Prince Richard, the sons of King Edward IV, from the care of their uncle, King Richard III. Shakespeare and history accuse Richard of murdering the Princes, within months of their father’s death, in April 1483, but in each century since, starting in the 1490s, there have been dissenting voices.By 2012 many millions of words have been written about what happened to the Princes, yet no-one has ever offered a satisfactory or complete explanation, at least not until now. The problem with the explanation is it has magic at its heart, the magic of the necromancer, and historians won’t allow themselves to believe in magic.Amongst all the fantasy of Horror and Sci-Fi on our bookshelves there is room for a little medieval High Magic; the more so since it may be true.The author and narrator does undertake psychic investigations, as mentioned in the book. The Arthur Findlay College at Stansted Hall, where the story opens, is a World centre for psychic studies and mediumship. Does it matter whether The Necromancer is a true story or fiction? If you accept there is no such thing as ‘single-pointed reality,’ there are many different realities, that miracles and other impossibilities are a good deal more common than people think, and that what people believe is what really matters; you may conclude simply The Necromancer is a good story.Because this is an interactive eBook you have free access to the full text of three important books of history, not to mention the Odyssey, two major books on magic and many other materials. In all there are 54 hyperlinks to relevant pages on the Internet.Leave historical authority and extended backgrounds to the hyperlinks. They allow you and the author to get on with the story in all its twists and turns. The strengths and weaknesses of historical figures are shown; the character of the little known Thomas Nandyke, the necromancer, is brought to light and brought to life.If you’re hooked, and you will be, Parts II & III go on to put right the world we live in, they deal with King Louis XI and bishop Morton; Part III restores Hastings and Rivers, not to mention the Princes, of whom there are three, including Richard III’s own son.As is usual with Mike Voyce, this story stands on the boundary between Truth and Fiction; it’s as true as you want it to be. If you take the insights into the nature of realities, the ‘After Word on Truth,’ right at the very end of the whole book, will clear the mists which still seem to cloud our own world. Views: 604
A Blandings novel
Unwelcome guests are descending on Blandings Castle - particularly the overbearing Duke of Dunstable, who settles in the Garden Suite with no intention of leaving, and Lady Constance, Lord Emsworth's sister and a lady of firm disposition, who arrives unexpectedly from New York. Skulduggery is also afoot involving the sale of a modern nude painting (mistaken by Lord Emsworth for a pig). It's enough to take the noble earl on the short journey to the end of his wits.
Luckily Clarence's brother Galahad Threepwood, cheery survivor of the raffish Pelican Club, is on hand to set things right, restore sundered lovers and even solve all the mysteries. Views: 604
With a team of international super spies hunting them down, The Peski Kids' orders are simple – act normal. But for Joe, Fin, April and Loretta that mission is impossible.Tensions run high when their Mum moves in and starts spotting enemy agents behind every corner in Currawong. Should The Peski Kids get out of town? Of course they should! But they're not going to. Not when there's a potato festival to celebrate. Views: 604
Plum Pie is perhaps Wodehouse's best-loved short story collection--no surprise as it features a true Wodehouse trifecta--Jeeves, golf, and Blandings Castle. Views: 602
