Witches and glitches and testicle obsessed cats… Oh my.
One dilemma down and approximately 74,876,283 to go. I think being the Shifter Whisperer is hard—or Shifter Wanker as I enjoy referring to my new job—but healing wounded Shifters is easy compared to finding and eliminating the lurking freaking evil.
Throw in a ghost, a potentially explosive ex-cellmate, a long lost dad and a smokin’ hot werewolf who’s convinced he’s my mate, and suddenly it’s party time—from hell.
And this is my mission?
Life is getting messy and I don’t do messy. With feelings I didn’t know I was capable of having, and the word love being thrown around like a football on Super Bowl Sunday, poofing away with a magical twitch of my nose is becoming more appealing by the moment.
But to show I’m not a weenie, I’m gonna pull up my big girl panties and hurl some fireballs at Baba Yaga's older than dirt warlock posse if they don’t pony up the info I need. If I don’t burn the town of Assjacket down while trying to save it, I’m donning my red cape and playing who’s the big bad wolf with a for real wolf who’s hotter than any fireball.
I just pray to the Goddess my heart doesn’t get burned in the process.
Keywords: demons and devils, witches, wizards, warlocks, shifters, werewolves, paranormal, fantasy Views: 53
From USA Today bestselling author Anna Snow comes the next laugh-out-loud installment in her bestselling Barb Jackson Mysteries... After solving the biggest case of her career, PI Barb Jackson's business is finally taking off. Cases are rolling in, she and her staff are getting paid, and she's the apple of her hunky detective boyfriend Tyler Black's eye. Life couldn't get much better. Instead, it gets much worse. Barb's best friend, Kelly, is arrested and accused of killing her shifty on-again-off-again rock star boyfriend. Suddenly it's up to Barb to hunt down the real murderer and save her friend's life. Between an eccentric bookie, an oddball drug dealer, and an obsessed fan, Barb has no shortage of suspects. But understaffed and in over her head, Barb has no other choice but to call in an old friend for help...a gorgeous, flirtatious, charming friend...and Tyler isn't going to like it. Can Barb track down a killer and save her friend from the slammer... before the killer... Views: 53
In the British tradition, a white feather has long been a symbol of cowardice or pusillanimity in battle or when facing adversity. In The White Feather, Wodehouse applies this metaphor to the dog-eat-dog world of school. When an introverted and academically minded student displays a pronounced lack of courage when attacked by a gang of street toughs, he is ostracized by his peers and develops an outlandish scheme to restore his reputation. Views: 53
RetailLast Will & Testament of Adam CarollaI, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.)Article II appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting.Article IITo my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids.Article IIII devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy." Views: 53
And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was hard…That’s nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube, there aren’t any books on raising True Immortals so let me give you a few tips…
Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion and a map will help if you only have seven minutes and thirty-one seconds. You’re welcome.
Parenting books are useless if you're not human. If your child is half Vampyre/ half Demon I would suggest not using parenting books at all--they can backfire like a mother humper. Trust me on this.
Have sex.
When your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as fantasy. Often times your child isn't imagining anything. If he persists with alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy it's probably a Troll. Do a thorough search of your home and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some imaginary friends are harmless. However, it's wise not to take chances.
Have sex again.
When in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child's hand. Losing a child in an amusement park is terrifying. If you're truly paranoid a parent could consider putting a chip in their child. If you do this don't discuss it at dinner parties. People will think you are weird.
At least cuddle.
Playing with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very difficult to reverse...like being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz. There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist.
Find a closet and go to town. Views: 53
"Dishy…with a Smiths soundtrack [and] a Sedaris streak." —Brian Howe, INDY Week“A gifted writer, Anderson is…delightful in his irreverence, and astutely aware of himself and his particular perspective. His observations are often laugh-out-loud funny and will leave readers with the desire to…keep turning the pages…” —Publishers Weekly review for Anderson, author of Tune in Tokyo and Sweet ToothWhat's a sweets-loving young boy growing up gay in North Carolina in the eighties supposed to think when he's diagnosed with type 1 diabetes? That God is punishing him, naturally.This was, after all, when gay-hating Jesse Helms was his senator, AIDS was still the boogeyman, and no one was saying, “It gets better.” And if stealing a copy of a gay porno magazine from the newsagent was a sin, then surely what the men inside were doing to one another was much worse.Sweet Tooth is Tim Anderson's uproarious memoir of life after his hormones and blood sugar both went berserk at the age of fifteen. With Morrissey and The Smiths as the soundtrack, Anderson self-deprecatingly recalls love affairs with vests and donuts, first crushes, coming out, and inaugural trips to gay bars. What emerges is the story of a young man trying to build a future that won't involve crippling loneliness or losing a foot to his disease—and maybe even one that, no matter how unpredictable, can still be pretty sweet. Views: 53
'Brilliantly funny, emotional and uplifting' Miranda Dickinson A funny and heartwarming debut for fans of Celia Imrie and Dawn French. Evie Gallagher is regretting her hasty move into a care home. She may be seventy-five and recently widowed, but she's absolutely not dead yet. And so, one morning, Evie walks out of Sheldon Lodge and sets off on a Great Adventure across Europe. But not everyone thinks Great Adventures are appropriate for women of Evie's age, least of all her son Brendan and his wife Maura, who follow a trail of puzzling text messages to bring her home. When they finally catch up with her, there are shocks in store . . . because while Brendan may have given up on life and love, Evie certainly has not. 'Lovely . . . a book that assures that life is far from over at seventy' Cathy Hopkins, bestselling author of The Kicking the Bucket List Views: 53
An Atlanta ex-cop comes to sleepy Lake Sackett, Georgia, seeking peace and quiet—but he hasn't bargained on falling for Frankie, the cutest coroner he's ever met.Frankie McCready talks to dead people. Not like a ghost whisperer or anything—but it seems rude to embalm them and not at least say hello. Fortunately, at the McCready Family Funeral Home & Bait Shop, Frankie's eccentricities fit right in. Lake Sackett's embalmer and county coroner, Frankie's goth styling and passion for nerd culture mean she's not your typical Southern girl, but the McCreadys are hardly your typical Southern family. Led by Great-Aunt Tootie, the gambling, boozing, dog-collecting matriarch of the family, everyone looks out for one another—which usually means getting up in everyone else's business. Maybe that's why Frankie is so fascinated by new sheriff Eric Linden...a recent transplant from Atlanta, he sees a homicide in every hunting accident or boat crash, which... Views: 53
From the acclaimed author of the Sebastian Darke thrillers and Crow Boy comes an exciting novel that teens and adults will enjoy. Fred, the old sheepdog of Morton's Farm, has a dream that something bad is coming ... but surely it can't mean Ralph, the orphaned puppy who arrives shortly afterwards? More likely, it has something to do with the mysterious black dog who arrives at the farm sometime later, heavily pregnant. When she gives birth to a large litter of doberman pups, young Ralph is appointed as their guardian. As the pups grow, under the leadership of the runt of the litter, Kurt, the dobermans begin to exert a malign and powerful influence over the farm and in particular, the chickens. Animal Factory is an intense allegory about the rise of Nazism and contains scenes which younger readers may find disturbing. Views: 53
