Hard to Say Yes (The Fallout Series Book 3) Read online

  Once I got my curling iron plugged in and heating, along with my straightener, I also plugged in my blow dryer. Now I was ready for my first client.

  “Melody Larkin?” I asked the woman standing on the other side of the desk. The woman in her twenties waiting out there with blonde hair that honestly didn’t look like it needed to be done, nodded. “Eliza is sick today. Would you mind if I took care of you?”

  “That’s fine,” she told me, following me back to the sinks.

  I washed her hair, the way I’d done several hundred times with different clients over the years. The best thing about this salon was that while people had their regular stylists, we all knew each other. Which made making small talk with Melody that much easier. She said she was only around twenty-five and had two kids; her husband was a lawyer. All of which I got an update on while washing her hair and settling her into my chair.

  Melody was getting the full treatment today. Cut, color, highlights, style. The whole thing. Good for me because it’d mean an excellent tip, but also I wouldn’t have to try a ton of small talk with a bunch of different people. Making small talk wasn’t my favorite part of my job but it passed the time and once in a while getting lost in the mundane wasn’t a bad thing.

  With her ready to go, I dug in, sectioning her hair and starting the trim. Then I began the coloring process. The room was full of chatter, which both Melody and I would smile at once in a while.

  “OK,” my sister said suddenly beside me. I guess she’d finished up her client when I wasn’t looking. “What’s going on with you today?”

  “Nothing,” I said automatically.

  Natalie snorted. “Try again.”

  “Why do you think there’s something wrong?” I asked her.

  “You haven’t said maybe two words to Melody since she sat in the chair.”

  Melody and I locked eyes in the mirror. I raised my eyebrows to ask if my sister was right. Melody nodded slowly and said, “You’re usually much chattier.” Eliza’s chair was next to mine, so Melody would’ve known. “I don’t mind. We all have off days.”

  Damn. No. I couldn’t have an off day at work. What if Melody thought my work was off too? Couldn’t have that. Eliza would kill me and then I’d have to kick my own ass for losing a big tip.

  “I’m sorry,” I said automatically.

  “It’s fine,” Melody replied. “Like I said, we all have off days.”

  “But why is today off?” Natalie asked. “You weren’t supposed to work today, but here you are. Why aren’t you in Chicago?”

  I groaned. This was a salon, after all. The things we’d discussed within these walls would’ve surprised most people.

  “Well,” I began, “let’s just say Ian is no more.”

  “You killed him?” Natalie asked, to which Melody chuckled.

  “He’s not that lucky,” I grumbled back. “He wasn’t ready for a woman with a kid.” It was the easiest explanation without going into the details.

  “You had to go all the way to Chicago to figure that out?”

  I shook my head. “Not exactly. But that’s where he made it crystal clear just how not ready he was.”

  “I’m sorry,” Melody offered.

  “It’s his loss,” my sister added.

  They weren’t wrong. It absolutely was Ian’s loss. But that wasn’t even why I was mad at myself. It was how I’d treated Tegan at Laney’s house.

  “Laney and Rhian picked me up from the train station,” I told them as I continued working on Melody’s hair. “I went to Laney’s after and was a total dick to Rhian’s brother, Tegan, because I was still fuming at Ian. He didn’t deserve that and I’m irritated.”

  “Tegan must be pretty hot for it to bother you,” my sister said as she tried to hold back a smile.

  “No,” I told her as I rolled my eyes. “I mean, yes, Tegan is hot, but he’s Rhian’s brother. Rhian is Laney’s best friend.” A fact that was still like a punch to the gut for me. But then I locked gazes with Melody again to bring her up to speed. “Laney is my best friend from high school and Zac’s girlfriend.” All the regulars knew who Zac was. Back to my sister, I said, “I’m the one outside of their circle, and being unkind to Tegan is going to push me farther out. I shouldn’t have snapped at him.”

  “You could apologize,” Melody said. “Those usually work. Is he still around or just visiting?”

  “He just moved here and lives with his sister, so unless he’s at the hospital, I’m sure he’s around.”

  “Hospital?” Natalie asked.

  I nodded. “He’s a surgical physician’s assistant, Rhian said.”

  Natalie stopped working and turned to look at me. “A doctor and he’s hot?”

  “Not a doctor,” I said right away.

  “Close enough. Are you sure you aren’t mad at yourself for alienating him because he’s a hot doctor?”

  “No, I’m off guys for a while. Ian made me realize that I need to be more careful. It’s not just me at risk here. Dylan could love some guy who then disappears.” I shook my head. “I’m not going to do that to him.”

  Thankfully, the conversation turned back to the normal chatter that usually filled the salon. I smiled and commented when appropriate but only half-paid attention. Even when Melody raved about her new cut while pushing a nice tip into my hand and left, my thoughts kept going back to how I’d snapped at Tegan. A man who’d never done a thing to me. No, I didn’t want to talk to him about what had happened with Ian. But I should’ve been nicer than the stark, raving lunatic who basically told him to go fuck himself.

  With one client gone, another took her place. Roxie was about my age and the daughter of one of Natalie’s regulars. She mostly talked about whatever guy she was seeing at the time. But she was nice enough.

  I groaned at my thoughts. Roxie’s eyes grew wide.

  “No,” I said, placing my hand on her shoulder. “I didn’t groan because of your hair. I had a random thought. Nothing more. I promise.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Absolutely.” I ruffled my hand through the back of her hair. “It’s going to look fantastic.”

  She nodded quickly then went back to reading her book.

  I finished up with my last client after five that evening. All I wanted to do was go home, take a hot bath, and drink a bottle of wine. Zac had Dylan, so the house would be quiet… And lonely. But first, I needed to apologize to Rhian’s brother.

  Chapter Four

  Tegan had recently moved in with Rhian. Rhian was renting Zac’s old house after he’d moved in with Laney. I thought that now, everyone was settled.

  When I pulled up in front of Tegan’s place, I took an extra few seconds to work up my courage by taking a couple of deep breaths. Apologizing was the right thing to do but having to actually do it sucked.

  I’d been to this house a million times and couldn’t remember the last time I’d knocked. But now I needed to. This wasn’t my best friend Zac’s house anymore. My knuckles made contact with the door and I was caught between wanting to get this over and kind of hoping he wasn’t home.

  “Hey, Maddie,” Tegan said after swinging the door open. My stomach did a twist at the sound of my name on his lips. He was in a T-shirt and basketball shorts. His feet were bare. Totally normal clothing that just worked for him. His brown hair looked like he might’ve run his fingers through it and nothing more. “Rhian’s not here.”

  I swallowed hard. Of course, he’d think I was there for his sister. She and I had become friends over the last year. “I’m not here to see Rhian,” I told him.

  Tegan’s eyebrows went up quite a bit, then he took a step back and swung his arm out, inviting me in. I slowly walked past him.

  The house looked the same yet totally different. There had definitely been a female hand in decorating this compared to when Zac lived here. He hadn’t changed anything since his parents had lived here. But Rhian hung actual curtains in this beautiful grey color and had all new furniture. Now
it looked like someone had moved in on purpose rather than the thrown-together thing Zac had going on.

  Tegan didn’t move far from the door, but neither did I. He crossed some very muscular arms over a very muscular chest. I’d seen him without a shirt at the pond, so I knew exactly what was under his light blue T-shirt. He was a little bigger than Zac or Porter. A little taller too. Maybe it was because he was older than the rest of us by five years, I think Rhian had said. Which made him twenty-seven.

  “I came to see you, actually,” I finally said as he stood there probably wondering why the hell I’d shown up at his doorstep.

  “Me?”

  “Yeah.” I pushed a piece of loose hair back behind my ear. “I feel horrible about how I spoke to you last night.”

  A grin just barely spread across his cheeks and he blinked rapidly twice. “Don’t worry about it. Seems like you had a rough night.”

  I held up a hand. “No. I was a mega-bitch and you didn’t do anything.” I swallowed. “Actually, I suspect you were just checking up on me and I bit your head off as if you were my latest meal.”

  Tegan smiled politely. “You weren’t that bad.”

  I cocked my head to the side, raised an eyebrow, and set my hands on my hips.

  He laughed loudly this time and held his hands up in surrender. “OK. OK.”

  “So we agree. I was a mega-bitch.” I wet my lips quickly and said, “I’m really sorry Tegan. I didn’t mean to bite your head off. It had been an utterly awful day that I shouldn’t have been surprised about. But it had nothing to do with you and I’m sorry you had to bear the brunt of my bad mood.”

  This time, he gave me a genuine, soft smile. “Thank you for apologizing.”

  Well, at least I had done that, and Rhian probably wouldn’t hold this against me. Nor would Tegan, I hoped.

  The truth was, Tegan and I would be around each other a lot. He’d become friends with my friends. Was the sibling of my friend. We’d be hanging out. A gentle hum of excitement passed through me when I realized just how much we’d be together in the future.

  Not that I wanted to date him but I certainly didn’t want him thinking I was awful the entire time.

  Tegan stood there with his hands on his hips for several seconds before rubbing a hand over the back of his head. I would swear to my dying day that basketball shorts had never looked so good on any man ever.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked out of nowhere. “Have you eaten recently?”

  “Uh… ” I had to wrack my brain to try to remember what I’d last had. “I ate a granola bar before work this morning.”

  “That was hours ago.”

  I nodded. I’d been so busy at the salon that there hadn’t been time to take lunch. “Yes,” I finally said.

  “Come on.” He waved his hand my way as he walked farther into the house. I guessed that was my cue to follow. “Let me make you something to eat.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

  He turned to me, one side of his beautiful mouth turned up. “I know I don’t have to. I want to.”

  I nodded, giving in to what he wanted, and continued behind him until we were in the kitchen. The smell of garlic filled the room, not in an overwhelming way. Tegan went to the fridge while I took a seat at the table, setting my keys on the chair beside me. I’d left my purse in the car thinking I’d apologize at the front door then be on my way.

  “What would you like to drink?” he asked.

  “Diet anything would be good.” I knew Rhian drank diet pop sometimes, so it was an easy guess. He grabbed me a can of Diet Pepsi and set it in front of me.

  “Do you want a glass?”

  I shook my head. “I’ll drink it like a heathen.” I ran the hem of my shirt over the top of the can to clean it off because I always did. It wiped away dust or anything that got on it in shipping.

  “All right. I was going to have steak for dinner.” He was back in front of the fridge again. “But if that doesn’t sound good to you, I can put together something else.”

  “Steak sounds delicious. If you’re sure you have enough.”

  “I do.” He pulled a package of meat out and set it on the counter. Then he piled some vegetables up in his arms and walked them over to the counter. Seemed like he had everything he needed. “I’d just planned steak, garlic potatoes, and a salad. That good for you?”

  “Sounds delicious,” I told him. Better than the block of cheese I’d probably have eaten at home. “You cook like this for yourself every night?”

  Tegan was at the sink washing the potatoes.

  He shook his head as he bent over to pull a broiler pan out of the cupboard. “Not always. I try to when I’m home, but sometimes I’m at the hospital until all hours or get called to the hospital at all hours. Which means I have to make a decent meal whenever I can. You don’t have any allergies, do you?”

  “Nope.”

  “Good.” He unwrapped the steak and went to work on that.

  I sat there watching the muscles stretch across his back as he moved over the steak. His shoulders were broad. Broad enough to make me wonder if he’d played football in high school or what. I’d always thought Zac and Porter were pretty big guys, but Tegan outmatched even them. However, as I enjoyed watching the show, I had to appreciate the fact that he wasn’t too large. For me, sometimes guys got too big. To the point where their arm circumference was too thick for them to scratch their own backs. No. Tegan was lean muscles, just quite broad.

  Well, now I felt like a dope just sitting there watching him.

  “Let me help,” I said as I pushed myself up from my seat.

  “I got it,” he countered.

  “I can’t just sit there watching you cook.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You were watching me?”

  I shook my head and sighed. “I didn’t mean it literally.” Yes, I had. “Just move over.” I tapped his leg with my hip because he was so much taller than me, I couldn’t possibly reach his hip.

  There was already a cutting board on the counter and a knife. First I washed my hands, then I came back over and got to work, cutting up the lettuce then piling the other veggies into the colander to wash them off.

  Once that was done, I began chopping everything up and dumping it into the bowl Tegan had sitting there while he seasoned the steak, slid it into the oven, and pulled out a sheet pan of potatoes. He must’ve started those before I’d arrived.

  “Where did you learn to cook?” I asked him to fill the silence.

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. Here and there, I guess.”

  “So you picked up proper cooking on the street?”

  “Not exactly. Rhian and I can both cook. We used to spend a bunch of time with our grandma when we were younger. She lived with us and insisted we knew how to do stuff ourselves.”

  “So, Rhian can cook too?” I asked. He nodded. “Is that why she tries to eat healthily?”

  “Yeah. We both picked that up from Grandma too.”

  I snorted. “I think hanging out with us is messing with that. The amount of pizza the guys eat is pretty impressive.”

  Tegan turned to me and popped a piece of my freshly chopped carrot into his mouth. “You know I’m supposed to be cooking for you, right?”

  I shrugged. “I like to be helpful.”

  He took another carrot and watched me as he chewed, as if he were trying to figure me out. “As for the pizza, does Rhian usually order a salad with the pizza?”

  I thought about that for a second before realizing that yes, yes she did. “Yeah.”

  “Well, she probably eats mostly that then maybe one slice of pizza.”

  I set the knife down on the counter a little harder than I meant to. “That little sneak. I’m going to have to steal that trick.”

  He shrugged again. “I don’t know. Just eat the pizza if you want to.”

  After several minutes, Tegan pulled the steak tray out of the oven and flipped it, then slid it back in while I put the l
ast of the veggies I’d chopped into the bowl. We set the table together until he had to get everything out of the oven.

  “Do you want to make a plate and take it to the table?”

  “That sounds good. No need to dirty more dishes than necessary.”

  We settled in at the table to eat this delicious-smelling meal. The first bite had me holding back a moan. The steak melted in my mouth with an explosion of flavor.

  “This is delicious,” I told him.

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  “Like it? I think I forgot how good food is. I barely ate this morning and until then it was before I left for Chicago.”

  Tegan took two bites and nodded as if contemplating something. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  I shook my head automatically but then said, “It’s just really hard to find a decent guy in the world. Or I guess it is for me. One who doesn’t think of a woman having a kid is a bad thing. Hell, maybe even thinks being a stepdad one day isn’t the end of the world. One who can give a girl an orgasm sometimes and isn’t going to try to get you to give up custody of your kid. Why is that so hard? Where are all the decent men?” I finally took a breath then closed my eyes. Damn it. I really needed to get this rambling when I was upset under control.

  When I finally looked at Tegan again, he was staring back with raised eyebrows and several slow blinks. Ohmygod. I didn’t even know this man and here I’d just spilled every thought in my head. Well… every thought other than remembering what he looked like without his shirt on.

  “Sorry,” I muttered before shoving a forkful of salad into my mouth. If I was chewing, I couldn’t talk.

  “Don’t be sorry. It sounds like you needed to unload a little.” Well, that was an understatement. “But it’s also a lot to unpack.”

  I snorted. “You’re telling me.”

  “I don’t know why someone would date a woman with a kid if they don’t want the kid around. Or whatever the situation was. I’d say you know going to into it that they’re a packaged deal.”

  “Exactly.” I set my fork back on the plate because, as delicious as this meal was, I couldn’t eat another bite.