Spark of Intent Read online

  “I nearly killed you.” Ryder spat the words out, jumping from his chair and mussing his hair as he began to pace. “I was healing you both, and something happened. Instead of my usual blue glow, the way things work when I heal, it went bad.”

  “What, like it didn’t work?” I could see Nix was confused. I was confused too, though Ryder and Damien had explained it again and again.

  “His power turned black—literally. It moved out in creeping vines. It wrapped her in strands and started reaching for you, and for me,” Damien interjected.

  “When it touched you, you screamed.” Ryder’s voice was rough, his face devastated as he fell to his knees next to her bed. “I have never, ever wanted to hurt you. I didn’t know my powers could cause pain. I’m supposed to be a healer, it’s all I’ve ever known. I don’t know what I did, or how I did it.”

  She considered him for a moment, as if analyzing. “Maybe it was something on me or in me. I haven’t attacked anyone before. Were you touching me when it happened?”

  He blinked, as if the idea that something external could have affected him hadn’t occurred to him. “Well, yes. I was touching both of you.”

  “Then you can’t definitevely say that whatever that was came from you. Just that it affected you.” He blinked again as if trying to process it.

  “I couldn’t stop, Nix. Damien had to knock me out. I—I think I killed her.” Shame coated his features, his hands rubbing against his thighs as if he could wipe the stain from them.

  “We killed her.” Nix’s words were soft. “I inflicted the wounds. We can’t know if they would have been mortal. You tried to save her, that’s the part that matters.” She shivered, affected despite her words, but I could tell she was putting on a brave face for Ryder, sharing the guilt he put solely on himself. She glanced at all of us before reaching out to grab his wrists. He tried to pull from her but she held fast, unwilling to be shaken off. “Heal me.” Her words were firm. “You said you’re not injured. Heal me. I hurt, Ry.”

  Ryder shook his head, emphatic, as the rest of us held our breaths, watching their interaction. “I won’t risk you. We checked the wounds. I’m sorry they’re painful, but they’re shallow. They’ll heal in time, and I hope they won’t scar badly. I’m not going to take that risk. Your life is too important to me.”

  “You said Damien knocked you out before. Now I’ve got Theo, Hiro, Damien and K—” She cut off, flushing slightly, her eyes welling a little at realizing Killian still hadn’t come in, that he was the only one who hadn’t checked on her. She didn’t know he’d been outside of that door every moment since she’d been home, completely shattered by what his thoughtless words had done. “There are a bunch of them here to knock you out again. You can’t be at odds with your alter. It’s not good for you, nor for him. You need to try your power again and see that it was a fluke. That something outside of your control happened.” He shook his head again, but she held firm.

  “She’s right.” Theo spoke up. “I don’t want to make it an order, but I will if I have to. We need to try it again, and Nix is already injured. Best case scenario, you take her pain. If your power starts to twist, we’ll all be able to see and feel it in a scenario that isn’t full of stress and panic. If it happens, we may be able to figure it out and prevent it from happening again, or at least help you learn to control it.”

  “All of our powers are growing,” Damien added. “We don’t know what that will mean.”

  Ryder squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his head into her thigh. “Promise me you won’t let me hurt her. No matter what, you’ll stop me.”

  “We’ve got you, Ry.” I reached a hand out, threading it through his hair, massaging in nearly the same way I was for Nix, being careful to avoid the sore spot from where Damien had knocked him out. “We’ve got you.”

  Taking a deep breath, he slid his hands under her shirt and placed them on her abdomen, letting her guide him to her injuries. A collective low hiss sounded at the sight of the angry red slash marks that marred her stomach. Ryder tensed, as if waiting for the darkness to overtake him again. Instead, his usual blue glow radiated and she hissed, though it seemed to be in relief this time. Wave after wave of his warm energy washed over her, with no darkness at all to counteract it. Her eyes began to close as she relaxed into the healing. “Sleep, sweetheart.” Ry murmured the words as her eyes closed all the way, and Damien and I adjusted her back further into her pillows. His smile was brilliant as he met my eyes. “She’s healed. All the way.” I reached down to wrap my arm around his neck, pulling him in to brush a kiss across his forehead.

  “I knew you could do it.” I whispered the words to ensure Nix wouldn’t wake up. “Let’s go get some rest of our own.”

  “I’ll watch her.” Kill spoke from the doorway, finally stepping into our line of sight now that she was asleep. We patted his shoulder one by one as we walked out, leaving him to stand guard over our girl.

  Twenty-Five

  Nix

  I hated sleep. It was that simple. Nothing about lying in bed and trying to rest was peaceful. In fact, given my disastrous past I wondered if I’d ever truly known a good night’s sleep before. Between the creepy creatures and the kidnapping, my nightmares were never lacking for material to haunt me with. Everytime I closed my eyes, no matter how exhausted I was, my dreams shifted into nightmares.

  Struggling to sit up, I relished my pain-free existence without the necessity of a re-birth and the weakness that plagued me afterward. Rubbing the sleep from my bleary eyes, I caught the scent of my bunny wafting through the room. The bed was still warm near my feet, and I realized that someone had been with me through my tossing and turning during the night. My heart warmed at the same time that my eyes watered. I missed him. Hell, I hadn’t even lain eyes on Killian since I returned home, and my heart broke at the thought that maybe he didn’t want to see me. Surely he wouldn’t sit with me overnight if he didn’t care about me anymore, would he? Deep down, I trusted him more than that, but my fear and insecurities leapt to the forefront, clouding out rational thought.

  Crawling from beneath the green comforter, I placed my feet on the cold floor and winced as I stood, immediately missing the warmth my favorite pair of fuzzy socks provided. A small square mirror in a brown wooden frame hung on one of the nearby walls, and I used the small reflection to assess myself. The mirror wasn’t large enough to see much in, but I saw enough to know that the guys had taken the time to clean me up. Still, I desperately wanted to wash off the feeling of captivity that crept over my skin. Flashes of pristine white walls and cold tile floors were prominent in my nightmares, as were colorful feathers and mutated creatures that should star in their own horror flicks. I couldn't make sense of the pieces, but the memories were very real to me, even if I couldn’t discern the truth from the falsehoods.

  I padded my way to the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting the room grow steamy as I stared at my reflection in the larger mirror. Dark circles lined my eyes, an outward statement to my tiredness. My hair, while not filthy, hung in limp strands down my back, all luster and sheen gone from my tresses. While my hands were clean, there was earthen dirt below my nails, which were in desperate need of a manicure. Their broken, chipped ends were a testament to the fight and struggle I’d endured. Stripping out of my clothing, I ran a hand over the light scared marks along my stomach. As odd as it might seem, I’d never sustained scars like these before, always dying before injuries such as these could truly leave their mark. I knew these light marks would disappear with my next re-birth, but for now they were truly my battle scars. As I climbed into the shower the spray pounded my skin, and I let the water run hotter than I normally did while I tried to sear away the phantom feelings of sharp talons, chafing cuffs, and painful, sharp objects. My skin reddened under the assaulting spray, yet I stayed until the water began to cool.

  By the time I descended the stairs, the sun was high in the sky. I didn’t even know what day it was anymore. The momen
t my feet hit the first floor, the guys all jumped up from where they were scattered around the kitchen, dining room, and living room, each one with a task in mind.

  Hiro pulled out a chair for me at the table while Ryder brought out a tall glass of deliciously cold orange juice. The sight of it made my mouth water, and I gulped some down before Hiro gently pried the glass from my hold.

  “Careful. We don’t want you to get sick. Other than some juice yesterday when you woke up, it’s been a while since you had anything sustaining.” He smiled sheepishly as he set my now half empty cup back on the table with an audible clunk.

  “How long was I gone?” I asked, trying to wrap my head around the timeline, hoping it would help organize things in my mind.

  “You were gone for a little over twenty four hours.” Killian lounged against the wall, not making eye contact with anyone.

  “You didn’t wake up for hours,” Hiro said quietly right as my stomach growled loudly.

  Rustling around the kitchen, Damien prepared a plate. “I’m about to remedy that. I want you to take it easy, Nix. I’m making you some toast and tea first, as I want to make sure you can keep down food. You slept the night through last night, and I think the last time you ate anything was when you were at Rini’s over two days ago. We can increase your meals gradually throughout the day as long as you’re able to stomach the food.”

  “Unfortunately, we don’t know the extent of the drugs they gave you while you were imprisoned.” Cold ice shot through Theo’s words, the sentence deepened by the presence of his alter as he finished speaking. Clearing his throat, he tried again. “It’s best if you take things slowly until we know you’re feeling one-hundred percent once more.”

  I nodded slowly as Damien set thick, buttered slices of perfectly toasted bread in front of me with a cup of dark tea, but my mind was enveloped in disjointed memories of those sharp talons and that scary as fuck looking bird man. Had any of that been real? Or had I been given some form of hallucinogenic drugs?

  I rubbed absently at my upper arm, trying to replace the ghosting prick of those talons upon my skin. In my distraction, Damien had entered my thoughts and was combing through the new set of memories whispering through my mind. Oddly, I was grateful for the intrusion, glad I wasn’t the only one trying to make sense of things.

  “Fuck… I’m not sure what’s real.” He rubbed a hand across his forehead as if he was trying to physically rearrange the glimpses I could give him and make sense of it all. I wondered if this was how Killian felt when his visions came and went—constantly evading him.

  It is. Damien spoke quietly and just to me. In fact, he’d had a vision the night before the fight and had an argument with Ciarán as well.

  He didn’t need to elaborate. I glanced over to where Killian was leaning against the wall. His broad, tall frame looked hunched as he hung his head, and he had his strong muscled arms crossed over his chest. Everything about his body language was closed off, and he refused to look up to meet my gaze. My heart squeezed in my chest as I bit the inside of my lip, swallowing back my keen disappointment and hurt over his seeming rejection. I knew that Damien was trying to subtly explain the series of events that had caused Killian to lose his temper, but if he wouldn’t even look at me, I wasn’t sure how we would reconcile and move forward.

  He’s hurting, Nix. He’s beating himself up over what happened. Give him some time. He’ll come around. Right now, he doesn’t know what to say to make things right. I knew Damien was right. I couldn’t force things to go instantly back to normal, even though I wanted to. Deep down, I wanted to make everyone happy, and I worried again that I wasn’t enough for all these men.

  Sighing, Damien scooted the plate of food closer. Don’t you dare start down that black hole. You are absolutely enough for us, sweetheart. You understand?

  Damiens beautiful russet brown eyes captured mine and I held his attention for more than a casual moment. Eventually, I nodded. And I promise to always try to be enough. To keep things even and to try and work out any problems that come our way before they spiral out of hand.

  Leaning down, Damien surprised me by brushing his lips softly against mine. Intending it to be only a short kiss, he began to pull away, but I chased him, pressing my lips more firmly to his as I reciprocated. I needed to feel connected to him, and I enjoyed the sweet glide of his lips against mine for a single moment longer.

  When he pulled away, his eyes were alive and shining. Peeking around the room, I noticed all the sensuous stares being leveled in my direction and shivers raced up my arms.

  “Now that is a good idea.” Ryder grinned and stepped forward, bracing his hands on the arm of the chair and looming over me. His purple hair was styled, and I slipped my fingers into it, playing with the shorter hair by the base of his neck. When his lips met mine, I groaned softly and deepened the kiss, enjoying his attentions. Pulling back he pressed his forehead to mine. “You have no idea how scared I was.”

  “I do because I was too. All I wanted was to be home with you. All of you.” I shot my gaze to each one of them.

  “My turn.” That simmering tenor of Hiro’s voice sent tingles of awareness down my spine as he stepped up to the side of my chair, replacing Ryder. With a hooked finger, he lifted my chin. “From now on, we need to promise to try to work out our differences together. No matter how hard it is to stay, we stay. I’m not admonishing you for leaving. It was what you needed to do at the time and this was our first big fight, but if our family is going to work—” He looked around the room pointedly. “—we need to be more open and honest with each other and stop keeping our own individualized secrets.” Hiro’s commanding presence, firm grip, and flashing eyes had me squirming in my chair, and he teased me with his nearness—remaining completely still until I nodded my agreement.

  “Good girl,” he murmured just before his lips crashed down on mine in a clash of lips and tongue. I felt the smooth metal of his tongue ring tease against my lips as he licked across the seam of my mouth. Then the hot, fast, claiming kiss was over, leaving me breathless. His lips found my jaw and he peppered light kisses all the way to my ear. “Now, kiss Theo.”

  The controlling way he demanded that I kiss his friend surged through me like a tidal wave, leaving me wet and aching in the chair. His hand wove it’s way into my hair, and he tugged just enough to be gentle yet forceful at the same time. Theo was settled on my other side, one palm flat against the table while the other reached up to cup my cheek. The combination of Theo pulling my face closer and Hiro pushing me toward his friend had a soft moan slipping from my lips and filling the area around us all.

  “Are you going to follow orders?” I’d never have guessed that Theo would play into Hiro’s domination, but suddenly thoughts of what he would like in the bedroom swamped me and I threw myself into the kiss, letting Hiro tilt my head to the side as my lips greeted Theo’s.

  Out of all the kisses I’d had so far, Theo was the first one to seek entry, his tongue playing with mine before he retreated, breathing heavily.

  Fuck… I don’t know why, but there’s nothing hotter than seeing you kiss each one of us. Damien’s eyes were burning by the time I was oriented enough to look up. I felt like sexed up jello.

  Sexed up jello? Ryder quipped, and I arched an eyebrow at Damien who had shared the direction of my thoughts. A laugh bubbled out Ryder’s chest in a rumble that had my lips tilting up in the corners.

  I was sure my lips were a rosy color by now, and I felt my cheeks heat to match their hue. However, Damien’s words were echoing through my mind, and I dared a glance in Killian’s direction because I hadn’t kissed all of them yet.

  The chair legs scraped along the ground as I pushed myself away from the table to stand. Tentatively, I made my way over to Kill until I was standing directly in front of him. Killian was so tall that I had to tip my head back to meet his eyes. My hands itched to make contact with his body, to slide up his defined chest and twin around his neck.

&nbs
p; “I shouldn’t be allowed the privilege of touching you.” Kill’s hands balled into fists as he fought the urge to reach out to me like I fought the urge to reach out to him.

  “Bullshit.”

  He gaped at me, furrowing his dark red eyebrows as he studied my face.

  “I know what happened was bad, Kill, and I’m not downplaying that we need to talk about everything, but at the end of the day it was only a fight. It doesn’t change us. It just means that we’re like every other couple in the world who has to learn the ins and outs of each other.” I reached for him, placing a hand on his chest. “I’m not dismissing that what you said was wrong, because it was, but I also know you didn’t realize the effect your words would have on me.” I swallowed hard and lowered my voice. “I know I’m not like other girls. I’m… complicated.” I couldn’t look at him. Not when the word I’d truly wanted to use was ‘broken.’

  He growled, and I figured that Damien must have shared my self doubt. Before I knew what was happening, Killian spun me around, albeit gently. My shoulders made contact with the wall as he crowded into my personal space slowly—giving me time to stop him if his movements were triggering in any way. They weren’t. Instead, the nearness of him—the fresh scent of his clover and magic—was comforting.

  “You’re perfect” Killian intoned vehemently. Everything about Killian was intense and his eyes bored into mine as if he was trying to brand the message he was conveying right into my mind—permanently.

  “Killian.” He didn’t touch me as he planted his hands on either side of my body, palms flat against the wall. Leaning in he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine. My hands found their way to his face, running over the dark red scruff covering his jawline. Linking my hands into his hair, I pulled his face the remaining few inches toward mine, sealing my lips against his in a sweet, small kiss.

  Killian stilled at my claiming, his muscles still as stone. I peppered light kisses against his mouth before trailing down his jaw, nipping at him as I went. A shudder thundered through his body and the next thing I knew, he was pressing me harder into the wall, his body flush with mine as our standoff broke. His lips claimed mine in a fierce, passionate kiss that left my head spinning. When he pulled away, his eyes flicked back and forth between mine seeming to search for something in their depths. And then he was gone, striding up the stairs as I stared after him, left in his wake.