In Uncle Al : In Uncle Al (9780307532572) Read online

  blurp … “Thunkoo, Drewp,” said Thudd.

  Thumpa! Thumpa! Thumpa!

  THUMPA! THUMPA!

  They were getting near Uncle Al’s heart again. It was beating faster than before. They were traveling at breakneck speed.

  “Woofers!” said Andrew, somersaulting through the red blood cells. “The blood is moving so fast!”

  gleep … “Unkie Al doing lotsa stuff, maybe,” said Thudd. “Or Unkie Al scared, maybe.

  “Heart beat fast when someone work hard. Heart beat fast when someone scared. Body need lotsa energy, lotsa oxygen. Heart rush blood to body.”

  THUMPA! THUMPA! THUMPA! THUMPA!

  Andrew could see the heart valve ahead of them. It was opening. They were sucked into the right side of the heart and pumped out so quickly that the heartstrings were a blur.

  The blood rushed them through the lungs too fast to find spaces in the capillary walls. Instantly, they were pumped to the left side of the heart. With a powerful squeeze, it zoomed them off into Uncle Al’s body again.

  Red blood cells smacked into Andrew like big rubber rafts. Andrew accidentally jerked the Drastic Elastic and Judy’s head bonked into his.

  Now it felt like the bloodstream was rushing them up and up.

  Maybe we’ll go to Uncle Al’s nose, thought Andrew. We could get out from there.

  Suddenly Andrew tingled all over. “Electricity!” he said.

  meep … “Drewd and Oody in Unkie’s brain now,” said Thudd. “Brain use electric signals to send messages.”

  Andrew noticed that his arms and legs were poking out of his red-blood-cell disguise. Uh-oh, he thought. I’m getting bigger!

  “Oofers!” cried Andrew. He was stuck in the capillary like a cork in a bottle.

  A SHOCKING SITUATION

  “Erf!” hollered Judy, slamming into Andrew. “What’s going on?”

  “I’m getting bigger,” said Andrew. “That’s why I’m stuck. And you’re as big as I am. It’s the electricity.”

  “What’ll we do now?” asked Judy.

  “We have to get out of the capillary,” said Andrew.

  He struggled to push apart a tight space between the cells.

  “Wowzers schnauzers!” exclaimed Andrew. Through the opening, his flashlight beam showed white spidery shapes connected by long strands.

  “So this is Uncle Al’s brain! It looks like a weird web!”

  meep … “Brain is web made of neuron cells,” said Thudd. “Neuron is long, thin cell that connect to other neuron cells. Send electric messages to other parts of brain. To other parts of body.

  “Gotta have neuron cells to walk. Talk. Move. Breathe. Think.”

  “Woofers!” groaned Andrew, squeezing himself through the capillary wall. His red blood cell was ripping.

  He dragged himself out of the capillary and sat on top of it. He was awash in a warm, clear, watery soup.

  Judy climbed out of the capillary and sat beside Andrew. Her red blood cell was tattered.

  “Weird-a-mundo!” she said as she looked around.

  “Youch!” said Andrew. “I keep getting zaps of electricity.”

  meep … “Unkie’s brain cells sending messages,” said Thudd.

  Suddenly Thudd’s purple button popped open and a beam of purple light zoomed out. At the end of the beam was Uncle Al. His bushy eyebrows came together in the middle of his forehead. He looked worried.

  “Hey there, guys!” said Uncle Al. “I rowed the boat to shore. The Hologram Helper is working again, but I don’t know for how long.

  “Where are you guys, anyway?”

  “We’re inside your brain, Uncle Al!” said Judy.

  “We had to get out of the capillary we were in,” said Andrew, “because we were getting too big. I think the electricity from your heart and brain is making us grow.”

  Uncle Al smiled. “I’m glad you’re getting bigger,” he said. “But that means we’d better get you out of my brain soon.”

  Uncle Al rubbed his chin. “Let me see,” he said. “The easiest way out of my brain is through my ear.

  “Thudd, you know your way through the brain. Find the nerve that goes to my ear. It should be easy to get out from there.”

  gleep … “Knock, knock,” Thudd began. “Who there? Pea. Pea who? Pea you! Drewd smell bad! Hoo hoo!”

  Uncle Al shook his head. “Knock-knock jokes,” he said grimly. “Thudd’s thought chips are dangerously soggy.”

  “I’m pressing his reset button,” said Andrew.

  pleep … “Blokey-dokey, Bunkie Al,” said Thudd. “Can get Shmewd and Doody to ear.”

  “Thudd,” said Uncle Al. “I know it’s hard for you to focus, but you’ve got to try. We’re all depending on you.”

  Thudd pointed ahead.

  meep … “That way,” he said.

  Andrew and Judy scrambled among the long, spidery arms of the brain cells like monkeys swinging through the jungle on vines.

  “Your brain is greasy, Uncle Al,” said Judy.

  Uncle Al laughed. “That’s because the nerves are covered with a layer of special fat,” he said. “Kind of like the way electric wires are covered with rubber or plastic. Keeps the electrical signals going in the right direction.”

  Andrew and Judy kept getting little shocks from the nerves all around them. Andrew caught a glimpse of Uncle Al’s hologram. His eyes looked as big as moons and his nose wrinkled up.

  “What’s wrong, Uncle Al?” asked Andrew.

  “I just got a whiff of something awful,” said Uncle Al. “Smells like a mix of stinky feet, dead fish, dog poop, and the baddest bad breath in the universe.”

  EGGBEATERS, AARDVARKS, AND ABRAHAM LINCOLN

  Uncle Al’s eyes lit up. “You must be in the part of my brain that gets smell messages!” he said.

  “When you smell something, your nose sends a signal to the part of your brain that deals with smell messages.

  “You’re messing around in the smelling part of my brain. My brain thinks it’s getting signals from my nose.”

  “Sorry about the smell, Uncle Al,” said Andrew, climbing through the nerve cells.

  Uncle Al rubbed his eyes. “I’m seeing stars!” he said.

  “You’re stomping around at the back of my brain. The part that gets signals from my eyes.

  “But this means that you’re going in the wrong direction. Thudd, are you okay?”

  zleep … “Knock, knock …,” said Thudd.

  Andrew pressed Thudd’s reset button before he could say another word.

  “Oops! Oops! Oops!” said Thudd. “Thudd make boo-boo. But Thudd know right way.” He pointed left.

  “I hope you’re right,” said Andrew. “Because I can feel myself growing. We’ll wreck Uncle Al’s brain if we get much bigger.”

  Andrew and Judy took a left and continued creeping through the tangle of Uncle Al’s brain.

  Uncle Al’s hologram looked away. “Hammer, pliers, monkey wrench,” he said. “Drill, scissors, eggbeater …”

  Judy rolled her eyes. “You’re not making any sense, Uncle Al,” she said.

  Uncle Al smiled. “That’s because you’re trekking through the part of my brain that stores the names of tools,” he said.

  “Strange-a-mundo!” said Judy.

  They trekked on, slipping and sliding along Uncle Al’s nerve cells.

  “Crocodile, aardvark, rhinoceros beetle, giant squid,” said Uncle Al. “Tyrannosaurus, bald eagle, humu humu nuku nuku apu ah ah fish.”

  “Cheese Louise!” said Judy. “We must have crawled into the part of your brain that stores the names of animals!”

  “Right!” said Uncle Al.

  Andrew and Judy pushed on.

  “Abraham Lincoln, Chief Sitting Bull, J. K. Rowling, Queen Elizabeth, King Tut, Judy Dubble,” chanted Uncle Al.

  “The part of the brain for people’s names!” said Andrew.

  Uncle Al smiled. “That means you’re going in the right direction,” he said. “Go
od work, Thudd.”

  “Thunkoo,” said Thudd.

  “Ha ha ha!” Uncle Al laughed. “Hoo hoo!”

  “What’s so funny?” asked Judy.

  “I feel like I’m being tickled,” said Uncle Al. “Hee hee hee! But you’re on track. Keep going! Hoo hoo!”

  “Bluck!” blurted Uncle Al. His face scrunched up like a wad of paper.

  “What’s happening, Uncle Al?” asked Andrew.

  “My mouth tastes like an old boot,” said Uncle Al. “You’re in the taste area of my brain. Ah! You must have moved. Now I’m tasting pepperoni pizza! Wish you could stay there for a while.”

  Thudd pointed up. Andrew and Judy pulled themselves higher.

  Uncle Al chuckled. “Now I’m hearing, um, a rude sound and a toilet flushing,” he said.

  “Thudd, you’re doing great work! You’re in the part of my brain that gets sound messages from my ears.”

  “Thunkoo, Unkie!” said Thudd.

  “Now you need to find the big nerve that leads to my ear.”

  Thudd looked around till he found a thick tangle of brain cells.

  meep … “Big nerve!” he said. “This way!”

  As they crept along, Andrew’s backbone began to feel stretchy. “I’m growing again,” he said.

  “Me too,” said Judy.

  meep … “Thudd too!” squeaked Thudd.

  As Andrew groped his way through the thick, soft clutter of brain cells, he found himself in a space that seemed to be filled with red pudding. He banged his head into something hard.

  “What’s this?” said Andrew. “Everything else inside Uncle Al is squishy!”

  meep … “Nerve going through skull bone now,” said Thudd.

  “This can’t be bone,” said Judy. “It’s full of holes! Bone is solid and hard!”

  Uncle Al shook his head. “Parts of bones are solid and hard,” he said. “But some bones, like skulls, have hard bone on the outside and spongy bone with lots of holes on the inside. Kind of like a bone sandwich.

  “The red stuff inside the spongy bone is what makes red blood cells. It’s called marrow.

  “Thudd, find the little hole in my skull that takes you right into my middle ear.”

  “Yoop! Yoop! Yoop!” said Thudd. He pointed ahead and they crept on.

  “Good golly, Miss Molly!” exclaimed Uncle Al. He was holding his head. “I feel dizzy. What are you guys up to?”

  “Nothing,” said Andrew.

  “My foot got tangled in a nerve,” said Judy.

  “Ah!” said Uncle Al. “Must be a nerve that sends signals about balance from my ear to my brain.”

  “Inside my skull are three tiny loops. Inside these loops are super-tiny stones.

  “When my head moves, the stones move. They send messages to my brain about my balance. But if you mess with my balance nerve, my brain gets the message that I’m dizzy.”

  “Sorry, Uncle Al,” said Judy, scrambling ahead.

  They came to a place where there was no marrow. The spaces in the spongy bone were filled with air.

  meep … “Drewd and Oody can take off Schnozzles,” said Thudd. “Can breathe air now!”

  “Super-duper pooper-scooper!” shouted Andrew, pulling off his Schnozzle. He folded it flat and put it in his pocket.

  “Now can we take off these stupid blood-cell disguises?” asked Judy. “Mine is a wreck, anyway.”

  “Yoop, yoop, yoop!” said Thudd. “No big eaters here.”

  Thudd pointed to a large dark hole. meep … “Drewd and Oody go through hole. Drop into middle ear.”

  Andrew went first.

  “Erf!” he said, landing on his behind.

  He gazed out into the shadowy space lit by his flashlight. “Looks like a bizarre-o cave!” he said.

  “Ooof!” Judy dropped down on top of Andrew.

  “What do we do next, Uncle Al?” asked Andrew.

  “Where are you?” asked Uncle Al.

  Andrew looked around. “There are three weird bony things at the top of this place,” said Andrew. “One of them is touching a round white thing that looks like a trampoline on its side.”

  Uncle Al nodded. “The round white thing is my eardrum. The tiny bones help send sound messages from my eardrum to my brain,” said Uncle Al.

  The three bones became a blur as they vibrated at the sound of Uncle Al’s voice.

  “How big are you now?” asked Uncle Al.

  “We’re as big as one of those bones,” said Andrew. “But we’re growing every minute.”

  Uncle Al’s eyebrows flew up. “Benjamin Franklin on a buttered bagel!” he exclaimed. “From the size of a microscopic red blood cell to the size of a grain of rice in minutes! This changes everything!”

  AN EAR-LY LANDING

  Uncle Al rubbed his chin.

  “I had thought you could slip through the cells in my eardrum. The eardrum is just a thin piece of skin. But you’re much too big for that now.”

  Andrew looked around the ear cave. His light fell on a round opening near his feet. He leaned down to look into the hole, but all he could see was a dark tunnel.

  “There’s a hole under the ear bones,” said Andrew. “It’s big enough for us to squeeze into.”

  meep … “Eustachian tube,” said Thudd. “Connect ear to back of nose.”

  Uncle Al smiled. “You guys can slip into the Eustachian tube and get to the back of my nose,” he said. “From there, you can crawl down through my nose and out!”

  “Eeeew!” said Judy.

  “Okey-dokey, Unkie,” said Thudd.

  “Let’s go!” said Andrew.

  He slipped into the Eustachian tube and Judy followed. The way down was steep and tight and damp. As Andrew slid down, the tube got tighter and tighter. He had to push himself through.

  I’m growing fast, he thought.

  Andrew plopped onto a gooey, slippery shelf in a dark cave much larger than the inside of Uncle Al’s ear.

  meep … “Drewd at back of Unkie’s nose now,” said Thudd. “Lotsa nose goo here, called mucus.”

  Andrew felt something moving him backward. Below him, under the goo, he could make out a carpet of tiny, waving hairs. They were working like a slimy conveyor belt, dragging him to the back of Uncle Al’s nose.

  “What’s moving me?” asked Andrew.

  meep … “Little hairs under mucus called cilia,” said Thudd. “Mucus catch dirt. Catch germs. Cilia move mucus from back of nose to back of throat. Then mucus get swallowed.”

  “Whoa!” Judy came sliding down and landed on a shelf-like place below Andrew “I’m soaked in Uncle Al’s nose goo!” said Judy.

  A strong wind whipped by them, dragging them backward through the goo. And in a second, the wind changed direction and nearly yanked them down from their slimy shelves.

  “It’s Uncle Al breathing,” said Andrew.

  Uncle Al’s eyes squeezed shut and his mouth opened. “Uh-oh,” he said. “You’re tick-link the back of my nose. Ahm tryink not to shneeze.”

  Eek! squeaked Thudd. “Sneeze can go two hundred miles an hour. Fast as winds of hurricane! Fast as winds of tornado!”

  Uncle Al’s face was getting redder. His eyes were bulging. His cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk storing nuts for the winter.

  “AHH … AHHH … AHHHH …”—Uncle Al looked as though he was about to explode—“CHOOOOOOOOOO!”

  Suddenly Andrew and Judy were flying through space like Superman and Super-woman.

  “Yeoooow!” hollered Andrew. His stomach flip-flopped as he zoomed through the air. Everything was a blur.

  He whammed into something soft and bounced away. He waved his arms to grab whatever he could. He caught something and hung on.

  Andrew was hanging down into empty space and seeing double. He was dizzy from the flying and falling and flip-flopping. But he had a grip on something soft and tan.

  Where am I? he wondered.

  “Booooof!” hollered Judy from someplace above Andrew.


  Andrew’s eyes began to focus. “I’m on Uncle Al’s ear!” he cheered.

  Suddenly it seemed that five large tree trunks were zooming toward them.

  “Fingers!” yelled Andrew.

  “Uncle Al’s fingers!”

  The fingers gently scooped them up.

  Before they knew it, they were in Uncle Al’s palm looking up at his smiling brown eyes.

  “Welcome back, guys!” said Uncle Al. “There’s a kitchen next door, and I’m going to make you the tiniest pepperoni pizza anyone has ever had!”

  TO BE CONTINUED IN ANDREW, JUDY, AND THUDD’S

  NEXT EXCITING ADVENTURE:

  ANDREW LOST

  IN THE DESERT!

  In stores January 2008

  TRUE STUFF

  Thudd wanted to tell you more about big-eater cells and bones, but he was busy keeping Andrew and Judy from being munched by a parasite and lost in Uncle Al’s brain. Here’s what he wanted to say:

  There are many things outside of our bodies—bacteria, viruses, poisons, and tiny animals—that could hurt us if they got inside. We have immune systems made up of cells and molecules that patrol our bodies like armies to destroy dangerous things.

  All the cells in our bodies are marked with special molecules. This molecule code tells our immune system that these cells are part of us and should not be attacked.

  Blood cells have markers that say they belong to a group called a blood type. Your blood cells have markers for one of these blood types. If you got into a bad accident and needed blood, you would have to get it from someone with your blood type. If you received a different type of blood, your immune system would attack and destroy the strange cells. The attack would not only destroy the new blood cells, it could kill you, too.

  Macrophages have such big appetites, they actually eat until they die! After you scrape your knee or get a cut, do you ever see gooey yellow or white stuff around it? This is called pus. Pus is actually made up of dead white blood cells!

  Blood cells are red for the same reason that rusty iron is red. Iron turns red when it combines with the oxygen in the air. Blood cells have iron. Iron is what carries oxygen from our lungs to our bodies. When the iron in blood combines with oxygen, blood looks red.