In Uncle Al : In Uncle Al (9780307532572) Read online

  Hiya! My name Thudd. Best robot friend of Drewd. Thudd know lotsa stuff. What blood is made of. How body fight germs. What make heart beat. How brain work.

  Drewd like to invent stuff. Thudd help! But Drewd make lotsa mistakes. Drewd invent shrinking machine. Now Drewd smaller than dust speck. Mosquito gonna shove Drewd inside Unkie Al! Thudd worried. Want to see what happen? Turn page, please!

  Get lost with

  Andrew, Judy, and Thudd

  in all their exciting adventures!

  Andrew Lost on the Dog

  Andrew Lost in the Bathroom

  Andrew Lost in the Kitchen

  Andrew Lost in the Garden

  Andrew Lost Under Water

  Andrew Lost in the Whale

  Andrew Lost on the Reef

  Andrew Lost in the Deep

  Andrew Lost in Time

  Andrew Lost on Earth

  Andrew Lost with the Dinosaurs

  Andrew Lost in the Ice Age

  Andrew Lost in the Garbage

  Andrew Lost with the Bats

  Andrew Lost in the Jungle

  Andrew Lost in Uncle Al

  AND COMING SOON!

  Andrew Lost in the Desert

  To Dan, Zack, and the real Andrew,

  with a galaxy of love.

  To the children who read these books: I wish

  you wonderful questions. Questions are

  telescopes into the universe!

  —J.C.G.

  To Cathy Goldsmith, with many thanks.

  —J.G.

  CONTENTS

  Andrew’s World

  1. NYEEEEEEEEEE …

  2. Attack of the Big Eaters

  3. It’s Just Not Right to Be Inside Your Uncle

  4. Going Around in Circles

  5. You’ve Got to Have Guts

  6. Who Wants to Eat a Scab?

  7. Bleep, Bloop, Blurp …

  8. A Shocking Situation

  9. Eggbeaters, Aardvarks, and Abraham Lincoln

  10. An Ear-ly Landing

  True Stuff

  Where to Find More True Stuff

  ANDREW’S WORLD

  Andrew Dubble

  Andrew is ten years old, but he’s been inventing things since he was four. His inventions usually get him in trouble, like the time he accidentally took the Time-A-Tron on a trip to the beginning of the universe.

  Andrew’s newest invention was supposed to save the world from getting buried in garbage. Instead, it squashed Andrew and his cousin Judy down to beetle size. They got hauled off to a dump, thrown up by a seagull, and carried off to the Australian rain forest on the back of a bird. Now, thanks to a mosquito, they’re about to see what their uncle Al looks like—on the inside.

  Judy Dubble

  Judy is Andrew’s thirteen-year-old cousin. She’s been snuffled into a dog’s nose, pooped out of a whale, and had her pajamas chewed by a Tyrannosaurus— all because of Andrew. Judy thought that nothing weirder could ever happen to her— until today.

  Thudd

  The Handy Ultra-Digital Detective. Thudd is a super-smart robot and Andrew’s best friend. He has helped save Andrew and Judy from the exploding sun, the giant squid, and a monster asteroid. Now can he protect his microscopic buddies from the really weird stuff inside Uncle Al?

  The Goa Constrictor

  This giant fake snake is Andrew’s newest invention. Goa is sort of short for Garbage Goes Away. The Goa is supposed to keep the world from getting buried in garbage by squashing rotting vegetables, green meat, and dirty diapers down to teensy-weensy specks. Unfortunately for Andrew and Judy, the Goa doesn’t just shrink garbage. In two minutes and one stinky burp, the Goa can shrink anything—and anyone!

  At first the Goa shrank Andrew and Judy to the size of beetles. But now, thanks to a shocking fish, the Dubble cousins are much, much smaller.

  NYEEEEEEEEEE …

  Andrew Dubble, smaller than a speck of dust, flopped onto his uncle Al’s wrist.

  Andrew, his pocket-sized robot friend Thudd, and his thirteen-year-old cousin Judy had just been plucked from an Australian river by their uncle Al. He had come looking for them with a rowboat and a powerful searchlight.

  Wowzers schnauzers! thought Andrew, bouncing on Uncle Al’s skin. We’re too small to see! And it’s nighttime, too.

  During their trip down the river, a shock from an electrical fish had shrunk them from the size of beetles to the size of bacteria.

  When Uncle Al had opened their vehicle, the shiny, round Umbubble, they had tumbled out of it.

  Ga-nuff … ga-nuff … ga-newww … Judy snored.

  The shock that had made them small had also made Judy snooze.

  With one hand, Andrew clutched the collar of Judy’s jacket to keep her from falling off Uncle Al’s wrist and into the river. With his other hand, he clung to one of Uncle Al’s hairs.

  Uncle Al shined his searchlight on the river.

  Andrew looked up at Uncle Al. It was like looking up at the gigantic head of one of the presidents carved into Mount Rushmore.

  Uncle Al’s bushy eyebrows came together like two gigantic caterpillars. His frowning eyes scanned the dark ripples around his boat. “I wonder if they fell out when I opened the Umbubble,” he said to himself.

  “Uncle Al!” cried Andrew.

  But Andrew’s voice was much too small for Uncle Al to hear.

  meep … “Purple-button time!” came a squeaky voice from Andrew’s pocket. It was Thudd, Andrew’s little silver robot and best friend.

  In the middle of Thudd’s chest were three rows of buttons with three buttons in each row. All of the buttons blinked green except for the big purple one in the middle. Pressing this button was the way Andrew, Judy, and Thudd could reach Uncle Al in an emergency.

  Thudd pressed his purple button. It blinked three times and went off.

  Nyeeeeeeeee …

  The sound was close by. What’s that? wondered Andrew.

  Nyeeeeeeeee …

  The sound kept getting louder.

  NYEEEEEEEEEE …

  The whining was so close and so loud that it hurt Andrew’s tiny ears.

  By the glare of the searchlight, Andrew made out something strange just above his head. It looked like a giant, hairy flower bud attached to a long, hairy stem. Andrew’s eyes followed the stem up.

  Way above, he glimpsed what was at the end of the stem—a horrible head!

  “Yowzers!” he whispered. Two black eyes covered most of the head like a helmet. Long, hairy antennas stuck out from under the eyes.

  Eek! “Mosquito!” squeaked Thudd.

  Suddenly the hairy bud snapped open and slammed down over Andrew and Judy!

  Eek! squeaked Thudd. “Mosquito snout! Called proboscis.”

  Inside the darkness of the mosquito snout, Andrew and Judy were squashed between two walls. Andrew couldn’t move. He tried to push the walls.

  “Youch!” he said. The walls had razor-sharp edges, like blades.

  The snout began to shove Andrew and Judy along Uncle Al’s skin.

  Eek! squeaked Thudd. “Mosquito look for good place to bite! Look for tiny blood tube called capillary. Near top of skin.”

  “What if Uncle Al swats the mosquito?” asked Andrew. “He’ll crush us, too.”

  meep … “Mosquito light, light, light!” said Thudd. “Human not feel anything yet.”

  Ga-nufff … ga-nufff … ga-newww … snored Judy. She squirmed as though she were having a bad dream.

  “Androoooo?” she said sleepily.

  “Jeepers creepers!” said Andrew. “You’ve been asleep for a long time!”

  Judy rubbed he
r eyes. “Where are we?” she asked. “Where’s Uncle Al?”

  “Um,” Andrew began. But just then, the blades inside the snout started sawing into Uncle Al’s skin!

  Andrew sniffed a coppery smell. Blood! he thought.

  Eek! “Mosquito snout gonna push Drewd and Oody inside Uncle Al!” squeaked Thudd. “Drewd got Schnozzle?”

  Andrew shoved a hand into one of his pants pockets. He quickly pulled out two pairs of black goggles with noses attached and mustaches underneath. He handed one pair to Judy.

  “Put on the Schnozzle, Judy!” said Andrew.

  Judy pushed her face into Andrew’s. “This isn’t Halloween, Bug-Brain!” she yelled.

  meep … “Quick! Quick! Quick!” said Thudd.

  Andrew shoved the Schnozzle over his nose and hooked the earpieces behind his ears.

  The blades of the mosquito’s proboscis were sawing deeper and deeper into Uncle Al’s skin. Andrew and Judy were on the very edge of the hole. One of the blades caught on Andrew’s jacket and dragged him into the hole.

  “Yowzers!” yelled Andrew.

  “Aaaaaack!” hollered Judy, tumbling in after him.

  A blasting spray drove them down and down. Without another scream, Andrew and Judy disappeared beneath Uncle Al’s skin.

  ATTACK OF THE BIG EATERS

  Andrew tumbled over and over into warm, dark wetness. He reached for the mini-flashlight that he always kept on his belt loop.

  The batteries are just about dead, he thought. But I’ll give it a try.

  He clicked the switch. The light went on— and it was bright!

  Maybe the batteries got recharged when we got shocked by the electrical fish, he thought.

  By the light, Andrew saw he was in a tight, twisty tube. He bounced against rubbery walls as a fast-flowing, chicken-soup-colored river dragged him along.

  Uh-oh, thought Andrew. We must be in a capillary.

  The rushing stream was stuffed with round red things that looked like doughnuts without holes.

  The doughnut-y shapes were as big as Andrew. They felt like Jell-O when he was squeezed against them. Andrew and Judy got sandwiched between two of the squishy things.

  These must be red blood cells! thought Andrew. The guys that carry oxygen from our lungs.

  Andrew had been holding his breath as he bumped and tumbled through the tube. He felt he would burst if he didn’t breathe now.

  I designed the Schnozzle’s mustache to get oxygen from water, he thought. I sure hope it can get oxygen from blood, too.

  Andrew took a small breath through the Schnozzle nose. Yay! he thought. The mustache picks up oxygen from blood. I can breathe!

  Now let’s see if the thought-phones work.

  From a pocket, Andrew pulled two tiny wire spirals and slipped them over Thudd’s antennas.

  Thudd! Judy! Can you hear me? thought Andrew.

  “Yoop! Yoop! Yoop!” came Thudd’s voice through the Schnozzle’s earpieces.

  “You’ve really done it this time, Bug-Brain!” came Judy’s voice.

  “Super-duper pooper-scooper!” Andrew said in his head. “You can hear me!”

  All he had to do was think and the Schnozzle’s earpieces would send out his thoughts. And he could pick up the thoughts of others, too.

  As Andrew tumbled through the river of blood, he turned up a tip of his shirt collar and unzipped a secret pocket. He pulled out what looked like a piece of rubber band with a black rubber cup at each end.

  It was the Drastic Elastic, one of Uncle Al’s inventions. It could keep anything connected to anything.

  Andrew pressed one of the cups against the back of his neck. It stuck. He tossed the other cup to Judy, who was just behind him.

  “Shove the Drastic Elastic cup against the back of your neck, Judy,” he said. “It’ll keep us from getting separated. No matter where we are, pulling on the Drastic Elastic will snap us back together.”

  Andrew tied Thudd to the Drastic Elastic, too.

  “Oh, great!” said Judy. “If we ever get out of Uncle Al, I’m going to invent something that will keep us apart!

  “How on earth did you manage to get us into Uncle Al?”

  meep … “Mosquito squirt us inside,” said Thudd. “Mosquito got two tubes inside snout. One tube squirt spit into bite. Mosquito spit make animal not feel mosquito bite. Then other snout tube suck up blood. Female mosquito need blood for babies. Male mosquitoes not bite.”

  “This stuff we’re in doesn’t even look like blood,” said Andrew. “It’s yellow.”

  meep … “Yellow stuff called plasma,” said Thudd. “Plasma kinda like river that carry red blood cells. Plasma carry food to body, too. Carry bad stuff away.”

  “How do we get it to carry us out of— Aaack!” Judy hollered. “Something just landed in my hair!”

  Andrew felt something plop onto his head, too. Long, twisty spirals dangled over his eyes like wet pasta. A few of them sped off into Uncle Al’s blood.

  meep … “Bacteria!” squeaked Thudd. “Germs! Can make Unkie sick, sick, sick!”

  Suddenly a giant white blob covered with shaggy tentacles squooshed through a slit in the capillary. The blob was bigger than the red blood cells. It squashed Andrew and Judy against the side of the rubbery capillary wall.

  “Oh NOOOOO!” hollered Judy. “It’s horrible!”

  meep … “White blood cell,” said Thudd. “Called macrophage. Macrophage mean ‘big eater.’ White blood cell eat up lotsa germs.”

  The tentacles swarmed over Andrew in the tight capillary. They were touching his cheeks and tickling his neck. They were tugging off the spaghetti-like bacteria. Tentacles were poking into his nose!

  Eek! squeaked Thudd. “Big-eater cell can tell that Drewd not belong inside Uncle Al! Big eater wanna eat Drewd!”

  “Yaargh!” hollered Andrew, struggling to pull tentacles out of his nose.

  meep … “Gotta hide!” said Thudd.

  “Hide?” said Andrew. He battled the tentacles fiercely as the blood river swished them along. “There’s nowhere to hide!”

  meep … “Hide inside red blood cell,” said Thudd. “Quick! Quick! Quick!”

  Andrew kicked the red blood cell that smooshed against him. It was like hitting a soft balloon.

  Macrophage tentacles were wrapping tightly around his chest. They were pulling him into the big cell!

  Andrew shoved a hand into a pocket. Coins. Soggy packets of sugar. Two rough stones.

  “Ooooog!” hollered Judy. “There are tentacles around my neck!”

  Andrew reached back and pushed one of the stones toward Judy.

  “Rip a hole in the red blood cell behind you,” he said. “Hide inside.”

  Andrew slashed at the red blood cell in front of him. It was like cutting through a plastic bag. Red stuff oozed out through the slit.

  Andrew struggled against the sticky tentacles of the big eater. They had him by the waist. They were dragging him into the big-eater cell. How will I ever get inside the red blood cell before the big eater eats me? thought Andrew.

  IT’S JUST NOT RIGHT TO BE INSIDE YOUR UNCLE

  Andrew slashed at the big-eater cell with his stone chip.

  Woofers! thought Andrew. This guy is a lot tougher than the red blood cell.

  Through the Schnozzle’s earpieces, he could hear Judy’s screams.

  As Andrew sliced through the white blood cell, clear goo began to leak out of it.

  The tentacles stopped wriggling and fell away. The white blood cell got floppy.

  “Erk! Oook!” came Judy’s voice.

  Andrew felt her poking his back and kicking his legs.

  “Judy, relax,” sighed Andrew, still catching his breath. “The big eater is dead.”

  “I know,” said Judy. “I’m just trying to squash myself into this red blood cell.”

  Just then, Andrew caught sight of his own empty red blood cell getting dragged off by the rushing blood. He snagged the baggy cell with the toe of his sho
e and squeezed inside.

  “How did the big-eater cell know I didn’t belong inside Uncle Al?” said Andrew.

  meep … “All cells got special code on outside,” said Thudd. “Like label. Big eater read code. Code on Drewd cells say that Drewd not belong inside Unkie. Code on Unkie’s red blood cell say it belong to Unkie.

  “Big-eater cell is part of immune system. Immune system protect body from invaders.”

  WHAPPP!

  The capillary shook.

  “Got it!” came Uncle Al’s voice.

  “Uncle Al must have smacked the mosquito!” said Andrew.

  “Why hasn’t he answered our purple-button call?” asked Judy.

  Another big-eater blob began squeezing through the capillary. Andrew and Judy pulled their heads inside the red blood cells. This time the big eater ignored them and wriggled off. More white blood cells followed like a herd of hairy ghosts.

  “Where are those stupid things going?” asked Judy.

  meep … “When body get hurt, when germs get in, body send signal to big-eater cells,” said Thudd. “Lotsa big eaters come. Eat up bad stuff.

  “Big eaters going to mosquito bite, maybe. Mosquitoes carry lotsa disease germs.”

  The red blood cell ahead of Andrew began to change color. It turned from bright red to dull red to dark red. Soon it was almost purple.

  “It’s getting harder to breathe,” said Judy.

  meep … “Cuz oxygen leaving red blood cells,” said Thudd. “When red blood come from lungs, got lotsa oxygen. Color is bright red.

  “As cell move through capillary, oxygen leave, go to other kindsa cells. Muscle cells. Brain cells.

  “When oxygen leave, cell get dark. Cell gotta go back to lungs. Get oxygen. Turn red again.”

  The purple button in the middle of Thudd’s chest began to blink.

  “It’s Uncle Al!” said Andrew.

  The purple button popped open and a see-through hologram of Uncle Al zoomed out.