I Knead My Mommy Read online

  About this new place I call home

  Thanks to all that

  And a poorly timed jump

  I can confidently report

  That everything you ever treasured

  Should not have been placed

  On a single shelf you installed yourself

  A Mighty Roar

  I open my mouth

  To release a mighty roar

  But you just look at me

  Smile and say, “Awwwww.”

  I open my mouth

  To emit a resounding bellow

  But then you just laugh

  And say, “Who’s my little fellow?”

  I open my mouth

  And to my horror hear my “Squeak!”

  And now I realize why you don’t know

  I’ve been telling you off this entire week

  We Both Know

  Peace

  Joy

  Bliss

  We both know in a moment

  I’ll be racing across the room

  We both know in a moment

  I’ll be racing up the wall

  We both know in a moment

  I’ll be causing your heart to pound

  As I leave debris in my wake

  But right now in this moment

  In this second

  In this space

  Between my head and your chest

  I want you to know

  My heart is full

  My world complete

  My God, I’m happy

  And now that we both know

  Don’t mind as I now dig

  My claws into your torso

  To help propel me to parts unknown

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  This book—and almost everything I do—would not be possible without the tremendous love, support, and patience of my family, my friends, and all those cats who learned to share their innermost thoughts by learning how to type.

  FRANCESCO MARCIULIANO is the author of the bestselling books I Could Pee on This and I Could Chew on This. He writes the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth and the webcomic Medium Large. He was head writer for the Emmy award-winning children’s series SeeMore’s Playhouse and has written for Smosh and the Onion News Network. He is on Twitter at @fmarciuliano.