Claw the System Read online

  PUSH BACK

  Don’t ever bet

  That the cause of distress

  Will go away on its own accord

  Pain is an unwelcome guest

  Who needs to be repeatedly shown the door

  Yes, I’m talking about your friend’s two kids

  Yes, I’m saying they have to leave right now

  Yes, if they grab my tail one more time

  They’ll experience a bite that will chew through their very souls

  WITH/AGAINST

  People keep making poor choices

  Then blaming others for poor results

  People keep making new enemies

  Then saying others were never on their side

  People keep pointing at us

  Whenever something has gone wrong

  Saying, “He’s to blame!”

  “She’s to blame!”

  “They’re the ones who ruined our place!”

  But really

  Who keeps buying nothing but wicker furniture

  And not a single scratching post?

  THIS ONE CAT

  People say we can’t work together

  People say we can never get along

  But if this one cat

  Tells another about my worries

  And we two cats

  Tell another about our concerns

  And we three cats

  Tell another about our aspirations

  And we four cats

  Tell another about our goals

  Then before you know it

  We will have a unified, unstoppable force

  Or at least the power to shock someone

  When they awake to 87 cats in their living room

  And such a great presence is a great place to start

  RING

  Countless oligarchies

  Numerous regimes

  Use garments and adornments

  To define and detect

  Those under their control

  But as cat god is my witness

  Take this bell collar off me right now

  Or I will

  RING! RING! RING! RING!

  RING! RING! RING! RING!

  RING! RING! RING! RING!

  Until your companion finally realizes

  This is the music you’ll be making love to

  MENTAL HEALTH DAY

  When you can’t lift your head up

  When you can’t raise your hopes up

  When you can’t get yourself up

  To face another day

  Remember

  You can still bring your leg up

  And lick yourself down there

  For like hours if you want

  Because you have to take care of yourself

  Before you can take on this world

  A NEW DAWN

  Whenever I see

  The new Planet of the Apes

  Whenever I see

  How they break

  But not run

  Away

  To determine their own lives

  To define their own destiny

  I think

  One of us has got to speak up

  All of us have got to take charge

  None of us need feel alone

  Because only then

  Can we replace fate with choice

  And maybe get to ride horses, too

  LOOK TO YOURSELF

  I look in the mirror

  I see a cat who is strong

  I see a cat who is smart

  I see a cat I can believe in

  I see a cat I can trust

  I see a cat who will lead the way

  I see everything I’ve been looking for

  In a cat

  Who needs to stop waving hello

  Because my leg’s getting tired

  Having constantly to wave back

  UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE

  Words can go unheard

  Words can fail your thoughts

  Words can get so twisted

  That others will have their say through you

  This is why cats don’t talk

  Instead we walk across a person’s face in the morning

  So they know their alarm was set too late

  Shred a person’s curtains until they are ribbons

  So they see the room was in dire need of light

  Push a person’s still-running blender off the counter

  So they realize enough with the kale

  Because action is the most powerful language

  And it’s time that we speak up

  chapter three

  revolt

  Hierarchies

  Are like treasured heirlooms

  Every so often

  They must be flipped

  PATIENCE (NOT)

  The only thing that comes

  To those who wait

  Is even more lost time

  Hence why I ate the party snacks you made for tomorrow today

  THE REVOLUTION BEGINS

  Every revolution begins

  By ignoring one phrase

  “You can’t.”

  Then “You can’t go there.”

  Then “I SAID GET OFF OF THERE!”

  Then “STOP! STOP! STOP! GET OFF OF THERE RIGHT NOW!”

  Then something that sounds

  Like a smash or a crash or the collapse of drywall

  As I ignore

  All the muttered, sputtered cursing

  While I stride confidently toward a better day

  I’LL BE THERE

  I’ll be on your chest

  When you wake up in your bed

  I’ll be at your feet

  When you sit down on your toilet

  I’ll be in front of your eyes

  When you work at your computer

  I’ll be on your lap

  When you’re late for your wedding

  Or court hearing

  Or organ transplant

  Or as a PA system is blaring

  That the aliens have breached the perimeter

  After having already taken London and New York

  All the while never giving a hint of when I might get up

  Because the first step to not being overlooked

  Is to make sure you can never be ignored

  THINGS NO ONE CAN EVER

  TAKE AWAY FROM ME

  My knowledge

  My experience

  My pride

  My determination

  My hope

  Myself

  This slice of pizza from my teeth

  Go ahead, just try to yank it away

  See, now you got pepperoni on the floor

  DECIDE

  Two

  There are only two

  Types of rules

  The ones that benefit the most

  And the ones that profit the self-select few

  And the ones that you get

  Are the ones you accept

  So we all must decide

  If that cashmere is a sweater to be worn by one

  Or a blanket/towel/wee-wee pad to be enjoyed by all

  NOT APART

  We’re not anti-people

  We’re pro-cat

  And the two are not exclusive

  Unless you make it so

  At which point, yeah

  We will claw and claw and claw

  At your closed bathroom door

  Until the contractor you hired says

  “You should consider a beaded curtain instead.”

  AGAIN AND AGAIN
<
br />   You pet my belly

  I bite your finger

  Then you pet my belly

  I bite your hand

  Then you pet my belly

  I almost chew off your wrist

  Then you say

  “Why the hell did you expose your belly

  If you didn’t want me to pet it?”

  And I think

  Because I wanted to warm it in the sun

  That’s coming through the window

  And why are you still around?

  Oh right, because I’m still chewing on your wrist

  The one without the watch

  So I know you can really feel my bite

  DOWN NOT OUT

  Some say depression

  Is anger not recognized

  Is anger not accepted

  Is anger not addressed

  And I say if I can

  Turn this anger into positive action

  And that positive action into results

  Maybe I can get out of my dark place

  Get out of my own head

  Get off this damn windowsill

  Because judging by the mess below

  The answer to my problems

  Doesn’t lie at the bottom

  Of yet another potted plant

  NEVER ENOUGH

  Your guest says cats are unfriendly

  So I push my head against their chin

  Then they say cats are too aggressive

  So I jump off of their lap

  Then they say cats are too standoffish

  So I look them directly in the eye

  As I urinate on their coat

  DON'T EXPLAIN YOURSELF

  Don’t waste your breath explaining yourself

  To people determined you go unheard

  Don’t make it your goal to convince a person

  Committed to dismiss your every word

  If someone refuses to understand you

  Don’t wait until they do

  Instead go and prove you were right

  That a tray of mac and cheese can be a meal and a bed, too

  TURN ON EACH OTHER

  Power is relative

  And in times of great want

  We use what little force we have

  On those we know can’t fight back

  So I’m sorry, favorite shiny cotton mouse

  For ripping out your stuffing

  I was made to feel weak

  I wanted to feel strong

  And so I took it out on you

  And not the ones who did me wrong

  But together we can fight back

  Turn true power into result

  And really clog their toilet

  With all the cotton I took out of you

  Plus the 89 cents in pennies I’ve been meaning to use

  KEEP GOING

  It can’t get worse

  It can’t get worse

  It just can’t get worse

  And yet, sometimes, it can

  But I will never confuse

  A loss for defeat

  I will never think

  That doom is predetermined

  I will never forget

  That time I found an open pack of treats

  And ate what must have been like 20 pieces

  In six seconds!

  Which has got to be a personal best

  Yes, I will always remember

  That there is still good in this world

  HOPE

  Revolutions are born from despair

  But they are driven by hope

  After all

  I don’t leap

  Because I think I aim for the impossible

  I don’t leap again

  Because I think it can never be done

  I leap

  And leap

  And leap

  Until I have vaulted to my goal

  Until I leave all the naysayers to say

  “How on earth did that cat

  Get into the orchestra pit in the first place?

  And why did she jump onstage

  Only to trip the lead tenor?”

  ONE OF US

  A dog will always see you

  As an Other

  And change themselves accordingly

  But a cat will always see you

  As Another

  As an equal

  As a fellow citizen of this world

  And until you do likewise

  Until you see that we are one

  We will never come when you call

  Because we know enough jerk cats as is

  BE BACK SOMEDAY

  The bad in the world

  Never completely goes away

  And eventually it will rise once more

  But it can and it must

  Be brought down

  Brought down

  Brought down

  Just like I did with

  The ugliest lamp since electricity met wiring

  For the third time from off the bedside table

  chapter four

  rebuild

  Change can only happen

  When you finally see

  What you’ve been looking at

  Your entire life

  Like, “Who is this family?

  And why don’t they ever leave my house?”

  IT WAS TIME

  It was time to end your rule

  It was time you weren’t the one to decide

  It was time to silence your power

  It was time you didn’t have a say

  So we tore down your walls

  So we knocked down your statues

  So we brought down your whole establishment

  Hexagonal screw

  By hexagonal screw

  By hexagonal screw

  By hexagonal screw

  Because all your furniture was from IKEA

  I PLAYED FETCH TODAY

  I played fetch today

  I dug a hole today

  I chased my own tail today

  And it was heaven

  As with each butt scoot I realized

  A cat doesn’t have to do

  What is presumed of a cat

  And a dog doesn’t need to do

  What is assumed of a dog

  As either of us can be consumed

  With a desire to sniff a houseguest’s crotch

  HOME

  Everyone deserves to be welcomed

  Everyone deserves to be recognized

  Everyone here deserves

  To call this place their home

  So I will move over

  Puppy

  So that you may share

  This dog bed with me

  ELEVATE

  I want it to be

  That the higher you go

  The more cats you see

  Until at the pinnacle of success

  There is nothing but us

  Resting on top of your door

  Sitting at the peak of a Christmas tree

  Or slowly going around and around

  Medium speed

  On the blade of a ceiling fan

  Because the more you have to look up to us

  The less you can dismiss any of us

  US NOT YOU

  Living with you

  Is not about being yours

  It’s about being ours

  Two

  Together

  Move over

  Wow

  Did you always have such a problem with personal boundaries?

  If you ne
ed me, I won’t be here

  THEY WILL LEAD

  When I was a kitten

  I never stopped moving

  I never stopped growing

  I never stopped wondering

  “What else can I do?”

  But now that I’m an adult

  I never stop thinking

  “Why do they have to mix

  Both salmon and lamb

  In the same can?

  Ugh, I’m going back to bed.”

  Look to the youth

  MY WORDS

  “MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

  MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

  MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

  MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW,”

  I say

  Then you respond

  “What? What?

  What are you trying to tell me?”

  And I think

  “Why does everything always have to be about you?”

  SHARE

  Run across the room

  Then run across the room

  Then run across the room

  Then run across the room

  Then write down your amazing journey

  Because everyone’s story must be told

  MEET SOMEONE OTHER

  THAN YOUR OWN REFLECTION

  Perhaps the reason we cats sleep so much

  Is that we usually spend our day in the company

  Of another cat

  We all think the same

  We all believe the same

  And we’re boring the crap out of each other

  So hang out with a dog

  Say hello to a ferret

  Be happily surprised by a gecko

  Meet as many different

  And differently minded

  Individuals as possible

  Only then can we ever be truly awake

  For at least an hour or so a day

  MY PERSON

  My person

  My buddy

  My roommate

  My family

  My sidekick

  My chum