Dirty Russian_Everyday Slang from 'What's Up' Read online

  LSD

  el-es-DE

  Acid

  ki-slo-TA

  Let’s drop some Lucy and go clubbing.

  da-VAI pro-glo-TIM LYU-syu i po-klu-BIM-sya.

  I scored some blotter.

  ya VI-ru-bal bu-MA-gu.

  He’s been in transit all night.

  on vsyu noch GLIU-ki LO-vit.

  That acidhead is always talking nonsense.

  E-tot gliu-ko-LOV vseg-DA bryed bol-TA-yet.

  Ecstasy

  Ek-sta-zi

  If we’re going to go clubbing tonight, I’ll bring some

  vitamin E.

  YES-li se-VOD-nya BU-dyem klu-BIT-sya, to voz-MU s so-BOI vi-ta-MIN E.

  How much does Adam usually cost in Moscow?

  po-CHOM o-BICH-no v mosk-VYE go-lli-VUD?

  Rave

  Have you ever been to a rave?

  ti kog-DA-ni-BUD bil na REI-vye?

  PCP

  Wel , it’s just cal ed PCP, although sometimes you’l hear the term

  (AN-gyel-ska-ya pil), or angel dust, just like back home.

  Kiddie dope

  ko-LYO-sa

  For those who can’t stomach the idea of a shake down by the heat, the safest route to la-la land is through pharmaceuticals. There’s an apteka on every corner in Russia, and it’s not too hard to find a script writer if you’re wil ing to pay. Heck, most of the time you won’t even need a prescription.

  There are real y way too many meds to name, so here are just a few of the common ones available in Russia that can get you high, low, or somewhere in between.

  Ketamine

  Bump

  NAS-tya

  Codeine

  Schoolboy

  ka-TYU-kha

  Morphine

  MOR-fii

  White Stuff

  bye-LYAN-ka

  Demerol

  DYE-mik

  Radedorm

  RA-li-ki

  Phenobarbital

  FYE-ni-ki

  Noxiron

  prye-zi-DYENT

  Or “president” as the case may be.

  Theophedrine

  VOZ-dukh

  Literal y, “air.”

  And two popular ephedrine-based poppers:

  “Jeff”

  “Vint”

  I’m not really into kiddie doping.

  mnye nye O-chen NRA-vit-sya po ko-LYO-sam tor-CHAT.

  I think I can get that white coat to write me a script.

  po-MO-ye-mu ya smo-GU u-go-vo-RIT E-to lye-PI-lo

  mnye na-pi-SAT chye-KUSH-ku.

  He spends all his time popping pills.

  on vsyo VRYE-mya za-KI-di-va-yet.

  Getting hooked

  pod-SAD-ka

  He just got on and already he’s getting hooked.

  on nye-DAV-no NA-chal na ZHA-lo ki-DAT i u-ZHE sa-DIT-sya.

  Druggie

  nar-ko-MAN

  Burnout

  tor-CHOK

  He’s permafried.

  on v sis-TYE-mye.

  Overdose

  pye-rye-do-zi-ROV-ka

  His best friend ODed last week after a drug binge.

  ye-VO LUCH-shii drug v ZHMUR-ki si-GRAL na PRO-shloi nye-DYE-lye PO-sle ma-ra-FO-na.

  They had to take him to the nuthouse after he had a freakout.

  pri-SHLOS ye-VO u-vyes-TI v DU-roch-ku PO-sle to-VO, kak on gu-SEI gnal.

  If she doesn’t get clean, she’ll end up in the boneyard.

  YES-li o-NA nye SLYE-zet, to SKO-ro ot-PRA-vit-sya v

  u-CHAS-tok NO-mer tri.

  I don’t think I can just quit cold turkey.

  ya VRYAD li smo-gU na su-KHU-yu slyezt.

  I’m on the straight.

  ya na ku-MA-rakh.

  CHAPTER 4

  BODY RUSSIAN

  TYE-LYE-SNI RU-SSKI

  Though fast food is becoming popular in the former Soviet Union, Russian bodies don’t seem to have Supersized the way that Americans have.

  Most young Russians are in great shape and don’t start to fatten up until 50 or so. I think the secret is that they walk … a lot … usual y carrying ridiculously heavy bags. Most Russians—particularly women—take a lot of pride in their appearance. Even a quick trip to the rynok requires a dress, heels, and ful makeup. It’s pretty rare to catch a young Russian woman in public wearing sweats and sneakers. They like to look good for any occasion, and a big part of that is keeping their bodies tight and supple. Ain’t nothing wrong with that!

  Body

  TYE-lo

  He’s got a nice six pack.

  u nye-VO kho-RO-shii pryess.

  He’s got a big belly.

  u nye-VO bol-SHO-ye PU-zo.

  She has amazing legs.

  u nye-YO o-bal-DYE-nni-ye NO-zhki.

  He’s got a cute butt.

  u nye-VO sim-pa-TICH-na-ya PO-pa.

  She’s got a great chest.

  u nye-YO KLASS-na-ya grud.

  You’ve got beautiful eyes.

  u te-BYA kra-SI-vi-ye gla-ZI-sche.

  She’s got a pretty nice kisser.

  u nye-YO nye-plo-KHA-ya mor-DASH-ka.

  He has a stupid mug.

  u nye-VO tu-PA-ya MOR-da.

  She has big teeth like a beaver.

  o-NA zu-BA-sta-ya kak bo-BYOR.

  He’s bearded like a lumberjack.

  on bo-ro-DA-tii kak dro-vo-SYEK.

  He’s got a double chin.

  u nye-VO vto-ROI pod-bo-RO-dok.

  She’s got nasty saddlebags.

  u nye-YO pro-TIV-ni-ye U-shi na BYO-drakh.

  He has a big schnozz.

  u nye-VO nos kartOshkoi.

  H e r ass is so wide it needs its own zip code. ye-YO ZHO-pa na-STOL-ko shi-ro-KA, chto TRYE-bu-yet svo-ye-VO IN-dyek-sa.

  Sexy

  SYE-ksi

  I don’t know what it is about the Slavs, but overal they are a damn fine-looking people. High cheekbones, slightly Asian eyes, and those exotic rol ed r’s—al together, they make for one sexy package.

  He’s in really good shape.

  on v O-chen kho-RO-shei

  FOR-mye.

  She’s really built.

  o-NA O-chen STROI-na-ya.

  He’s such a stud.

  on zhe-rye-BYETS.

  You’ve got a fuckin’ hot bod!

  u te-BYA o-khu-YE-nna-ya

  fi-GU-ra!

  He’s a hottie (male).

  on kra-SAV-chik.

  That hottie (female) is gonna be with me tonight.

  E-ta chik-SA BU-dyet so MNOI se-VOD-nya.

  From the English word “chick” but with more of a sexy feel.

  She’s real purty.

  o-NA smaz-LI-vyen-ka-ya.

  Damn, she’s a nice piece of ass!

  blin, o-NA ta-KA-ya pro-PYEZ-do-loch!

  He ain’t bad!

  da on ni-che-VO!

  She is fucking hot!

  o-NA ye-BLI-va-ya!

  Damn, you…!

  blin, nu ti i...!

  fine

  shi-KAR-nii/shi-KAR-na-ya

  smokin’

  po-TRYAS-nii/po-TRYAS-na-ya

  real cute

  kho-RO-shen-kii/kho-RO-shen-ka-ya

  gorgeous

  o-fi-GYE-nnii/o-fi-GYE-nna-ya

  sexy

  syeks-a-PIL-nii/syeks-a-PIL-na-ya

  Ugly

  u-ROD-li-vii

  Because we can’t al be born beautiful.

  He needs to go on a diet. ye-MU po-RA syest na di-YE-tu.

  She’s a fucking skeleton.

  o-NA khu-do-YO-bi-na.

  She’s anorexic.

  o-NA stra-DA-yet a-no-ryek-SI-ye.

  Her fingers are all yellow from bulimia.

  ye-YO PAL-tsi vsye zhel-TYE-yut ot bu-LI-mii.

  He’s as hunchbacked as a camel.

  on gor-BA-tii kak vyer-BLYUD.

  She’s a four-eyes.

  o-NA och-KAS-ta-ya.

  He’s as bug-eyed as a
dragonfly.

  u nye-VO gla-ZA na-VI-kat, kak u strye-koz-I.

  She’s a bleached blonde.

  o-NA KRA-she-nna-ya blon-DIN-ka.

  She is butt ugly.

  o-NA KLU-sha.

  She’s a hairy mess.

  o-NA do bye-zo-BRA-zi-ya vo-lo-SA-ta-ya.

  He’s a fat ass.

  on zho-PA-stii.

  Damn, you…!

  blin, nu ti i...!

  hideous

  bye-zo-BRAZ-nii/bye-zo-BRAZ-na-ya

  nasty

  PA-kost-nii/PA-kost-na-ya

  gross

  pro-TIV-nii/pro-TIV-na-ya

  disgusting

  ot-vra-TI-tyel-nii/ot-vra-TI-tyel-na-ya

  fugly

  u-YO-bisch-nii/u-YO-bisch-na-ya

  Illness

  bo-LYEZN

  Another, more cynical, explanation for those slender Russian bods is that many Russians are prone to il ness. It could be the harsh climate, exposure to radiation and pol ution, unbalanced nutrition, limited access to competent health care, or al the drinking and smoking most people seem to do, but Russians seem to get sick. A lot.

  What’s wrong with you?

  CHTO s to-BOI?

  I feel really shitty.

  ya khrye-NO-vo se-BYA CHUST-vu-yu.

  I’d be better off dead.

  zhi-VI-ye za-VI-du-yut MYORT-vim.

  Literal y, “the living envy the dead.”

  You look like crap.

  ti khye-RO-vo VI-glya-dish.

  My head is pounding.

  bash-KA bo-LIT.

  I have high blood pressure.

  u me-NYA vi-SO-ko-ye da-VLYE-ni-ye.

  This is a farily common complaint among old and young alike.

  I’ve been down in the dumps all week.

  u me-NYA TSE-lu-yu nye-DYE-liu dye-pryess-NYAK.

  I have angina.

  u me-NYA an-GI-na.

  I don’t think I had ever heard of angina until I went to Russia, but this is something that Russians seem to complain about a lot. It usual y just seems to be something along the lines of a sore throat.

  Do you have anything for heartburn?

  u te-BYA YEST chto-ni-BUD ot iz-ZHO-gi?

  I have a fever.

  u me-NYA tyem-pye-ra-TU-ra.

  I’m nauseous.

  me-NYA tosh-NIT.

  I’ve got the shakes.

  me-NYA TRU-sit.

  I can’t think straight.

  u me-NYA bash-KA nye VA-rit.

  Do you need a prescription for these antibiotics?

  NU-zhen li rye-TSEPT dlya E-tikh an-ti-bi-O-ti-kov?

  In Russia, the answer more often than not is no.

  Sleep

  son

  If you ask me, the best thing to do for an il ness is to sleep it off. Note that the word

  in Russian means both “sleep” and the kind of dream that

  you have when sleeping. There is also another word for dream in Russian—

  (myech-TA) —but that’s more like the kind of dream that Martin

  Luther King Jr. had.

  IF YOU SIT ON CONCRETE, YOUR OVARIES WILL FREEZE〉〉〉

  YES-LI PO-SI-DISH NA BE-TO-NYE, TO YA-ICH-NI-KI OT-MYOR-ZMUT

  If you ask Russians why they’re sick, nine times out of ten they’l blame the weather or a problem involving atmospheric pressure or the fact that they sat on concrete under a clear sky while not wearing a hat. Russians have some medical beliefs that wil seem straight up bizarre to Westerners. But don’t even try to argue with them about health. No matter how outlandish their claims, they wil be convinced that they are right, and it wil be a waste of time trying to change their minds. Here are some of the weird reasons why Russians think they get sick and the weirder cures they use to heal themselves.

  A lot of people feel il today because of the atmospheric

  pressure.

  MHO-gi-ye sye-VOD-nya bo-Lε-yut iz-za da-VLYƐ-ni-ya v at-mo-SFYƐR-ye.

  If you sit in the draft, you’l catch a cold.

  YεS-li po-si-DISH v skvoz-nya-KYƐ, to pro-STU-dish-sya.

  I had a drink with ice, and now my throat hurts.

  ya VI-pil na-PI-tok so l-DOM i tye-PYεR u me-NYA GOR-lo bo-LIT.

  He got sick because he wasn’t wearing a hat.

  on za-bo-LYεL, po-to-MU chto SHAP-ku nye no-SIL.

  Someone must have given me the evil eye, because I’ve been

  getting sick a lot lately.

  KTO-to na-VYεR-no me-NYA SGLA-zil, po-to-MU chto v po-SLYεD-nye-ye VRYε-mya ya CHAS-to bo-LYε-yu.

  One hundred grams of vodka with pepper will cure anything.

  sto GRAM VOD-ki s PYεR-tsem VI-lye-chat te-BYA ot vsye-VO.

  After I got the flu, my granny healed me with mustard plasters.

  PO-sle to-VO, kak za-bo-LYεL GRI-ppom, mo-YA BAB-ka VI-lye-chi-la me-NYA gor-CHICH-ni-ka-mi.

  Mustard plasters are stil a pretty popular way to treat respiratory il nesses in Russia.

  I cured my stuffy nose by inhaling potato vapors.

  ya svoi NAS-mork VI-lye-chil CHε-ryez vdi-KHA-ni-ye kar-TO-fyel-no-vo PA-ra.

  I always treat a cold with fire cupping.

  ya vseg-DA LYε-chu pro-STU-du BAN-ka-mi.

  If you’ve never heard of fire cupping, it basical y involves lighting a match in little glass jars to create suction and then sticking them onto a sick person’s back.

  My aunt cured her cancer with special herbal tea.

  mo-YA TYO-tya iz-lye-CHI-la se-BYA ot RA-ka spye-tsi-AL-ni-mi

  cha-YA-mi na TRAV-kakh.

  I’m tired as a dog.

  ya u-STAL kak so-BA-ka.

  I’m worn out.

  ya u-STAV-shii.

  I’m sleepy.

  mnye KHO-chet-sya spat.

  .

  I want to take a nap.

  kho-CHU po-drye-MAT.

  I’m on bed rest.

  ya v SPAL-nom rye-ZHI-mye.

  It’s time for me to go beddy-bye.

  mnye po-RA SPAT-ki.

  I just feel like lying around in bed today.

  sye-VOD-nya KHO-chet-sya PRO-sto po-va-LYAT-sya v po-STYE-li.

  I overslept today.

  ya sye-VOD-nya pro-SPAL.

  I’m gonna read a few more pages and then get some shut-eye.

  ya pro-CHTU ye-SCHO PA-ru stra-NITS, a po-TOM MA-ssu po-da-VLYU.

  .

  I usually watch some telly before bed.

  PYE-red snom ya o-BICH-no smo-TRYU TYE-lik.

  He snores like a pig.

  on khra-PIT kak svi-NYA.

  I suffer from insomnia.

  ya stra-DA-yu ot byes-SON-ni-tsi.

  The Russian bathhouse

  RU-sska-ya BA-nya

  One of things I love most about Russia is the banya. Hey, it’s fun to hang out naked with your friends. And if you believe the Russians, steamin’ it up in the bathhouse is one of the keys to good health, and being beaten with birch branches is a surefire way to release al of those toxins you’ve built up swil ing vodka. Now who am I to argue with that?

  Let’s go for a steam!

  da-VAI po-PA-rim-sya!

  Have a good steam!

  s LYO-gkim PA-rom!

  This is what you say to someone on his way to the banya. If you’ve ever spent New Year’s in Russia, you probably know this phrase from the classic Soviet film of the same name.

  Where can I buy a felt banya hat around here?

  gdye tut MOZH-no ku-PIT CHAP-ku?

  Let’s leave our clothes in the changing area.

  da-VAI o-DYEZH-du o-STA-vim v pryed-BA-nni-kye.

  Let’s hit the steam room.

  poi-DYOM v pa-RIL-ku.

  Hey, Vasya, could you beat me with that branch a little more?

  eh, VA-sya, ti MO-zhesh me-NYA ye-SCHO chut po-PA-rit VYE-nich-kom?

  Vasya is a common Russian guy’s name, but it is also sometimes used with random people in a sort of cheeky way.

  Now that we’ve steamed u
p, let’s go jump in the

  snow!

  tye-PYER, kak kho-ro-SHO po-PA-ri-lis, poi-DYOM po-PRI-ga-yem v snyeg!

  Steamin’ it up is usual y fol owed by a cold shower, a jump in a cold lake, or, in wintertime, a naked rol in the snow. It’s al about the hot and cold contrasts.

  I prefer white banyas.

  ya pryed-po-chi-TA-yu BA-nyu po-BYEL-omu.

  There are two basic types of banya: white banya

  and black banya

  . White banyas are usual y a bit better as the smoke is vented

  through pipes. In black banyas, the smoke just goes through a hole in the ceiling.

  He drank too much vodka and steamed himself to

  death.

  on pye-rye-BRAL VOD-ku i za-PA-ril-sya.