Dreaming of Christmas Read online

  Zoë was relieved to take refuge in that British staple of talking about the weather.

  ‘Yes indeed. Hopefully Billy and I will be going off piste tomorrow.’

  ‘Maybe Fergie and I could come with you. You wouldn’t mind, would you, Zo?’ His tone was hesitant, his expression almost shy. ‘I wouldn’t want you to feel awkward.’

  ‘Of course not. Mind you, on skis I’d leave you behind anyway.’

  ‘We’ll have to see about that. Remember that race we had in Val d’Isère? I beat you hands down.’

  For the first time in her presence he sounded animated. She couldn’t help replying in kind, and she saw him smile.

  ‘You cheated. We agreed we’d stay on the piste and you took a shortcut.’

  ‘All’s fair in love and ski races.’ An expression of contrition dawned on his face as he suddenly realised what he had said. ‘Sorry, Zo, I didn’t mean that about love.’

  He turned away and she got the definite feeling his remorse was genuine. Maybe he really was changing.

  It was noticeably a little bit warmer today and Zoë was sweating by the time mid morning arrived. There were already snowflakes swirling in the increasingly blustery wind as the two snowboarders disappeared to meet up with Erika. Billy, Daniela, Juliet and Zoë went into the Zum Wilden Hirsch. The array of tempting dishes on display behind the counter was mouth-watering. Today, however, very few people were out on the terrace braving the snow and, as a consequence, all the tables inside were jam-packed. After a bit of deliberation, they decided to ski down while they still could.

  Back at the hotel, they met up in the lounge for coffee and found Imogen, Mandy, Martin and Bella already there. There was no sign of Lorna, nor, of course, of Grant and Fergus. Presumably the two men would be out in the soft stuff with Erika for a while yet. Arnie the Labrador, who had been snoozing in front of the stove, leapt to his feet as he spotted them and came running over to his master and mistress before jumping up to greet Zoë. She felt rather privileged to be selected, particularly as Bella also came running over to grab her by the legs and hang on – almost sending her flying. Luckily Juliet and Daniela were on hand to catch Zoë by the arms and stop her from falling.

  Zoë went over to a sofa and sat down, accompanied by the dog and the little girl. Bella immediately climbed up onto her lap and Arnie would have followed suit if his master hadn’t yanked him away by his collar.

  ‘Not on the furniture, Arnie. We’ve been through all this before. Dogs stay on the floor. Got it?’

  Reluctantly, the Labrador subsided at Zoë’s feet and busied himself with trying to undo her laces. These shoes were fairly ancient, so she let him get on with it while she had a chat to Bella. As before, she enjoyed the little girl’s company and that same regret at what might have been came back. It would have been nice to have her own family, but of course that had all been knocked on the head by Grant – unless he really had seen the light and changed his behaviour completely. Nice as he was trying to be, she had her doubts that he was really capable of making such a fundamental transformation. Stifling thoughts of Grant, she remembered last night’s conversation with Mandy and murmured a silent prayer that she and Martin would sort themselves out.

  ‘So how come you aren’t at ski school, Bella?’

  ‘Reeker says we’re going to have a snowstorm, so we all had to come in.’

  ‘Ulrike is Bella’s ski instructor,’ Martin clarified. ‘Mine’s called Robert and he said the same thing. Apparently there’s going to be a blizzard.’

  Zoë looked out of the window and saw that it was now snowing a good bit harder, although not yet really blizzard proportions. By British standards, maybe, but not up here in the mountains. The trees along the drive were still visible, although the town itself had already disappeared behind a white curtain.

  ‘So what are you going to do today if it’s snowing, Bella?’

  ‘Daddy and I are going swimming, and I think Mummy said she’s coming too.’

  ‘Of course, I’d forgotten about the pool.’ Zoë looked across at Billy. ‘Did I read that it’s thermal water?’

  He nodded. ‘That’s right. It emerges from the rock at a constant twenty-six degrees. It’s a bit sulphurous, but we’ve had it tested and it’s quite pure – they say you can even drink it if you like. Down in the town there are a couple of places where they offer “cures”. As far as I recall, that involves drinking vast quantities of water and spending a lot of time in the toilet as a result. It supposedly cures all known ills – and a few they haven’t discovered yet. Anyway, I’d advise you not to drink our pool water, but it is lovely and warm. You should give it a try.’

  Zoë glanced across at Juliet. ‘Fancy a swim this afternoon, Jules?’

  ‘That’s an idea. Somehow I don’t think we’ll be going out for a while.’

  ‘At some point this week I’ve got to go into town to buy Christmas presents.’ Zoë looked across at the Christmas tree and nudged Bella. ‘Do you think Father Christmas will realise that you’re here and not at home this Christmas?’

  Martin answered for her, winking surreptitiously at Zoë as he did so. ‘We’ve already sent a letter to Father Christmas explaining the situation. He replied, telling us he’s on the case.’

  As for the shopping, Daniela passed on the news that there would be a Christmas market in the old part of town at the weekend. Zoë and Juliet exchanged glances – that sounded like the perfect place to buy a few presents.

  Juliet brought Zoë a hot chocolate, with the obligatory pyramid of cream floating on the top, and they all sat around chatting as the snowstorm outside intensified to very definite blizzard proportions. The wind whipped the snow against the windows and caught in the corners of the frame. Visibility outside was by now almost zero, and Zoë was very thankful they had come in when they had. She spared a thought for any skiers still out in these conditions. It looked really scary. Among them, quite possibly, were Grant and Fergus, and she hoped they would be all right. Surely Erika would have had the good sense to come back before it got really bad.

  It was just after midday when the door opened and Erika – still wearing her heavy boots and woolly hat – came rushing into the room. She was alone.

  ‘I’m sorry to disturb you.’ She pulled off her hat and twisted it nervously in her hands. She was panting, as if she had been running, and she looked upset. ‘We have a problem.’

  ‘What is it, Erika?’ Billy took her by the elbow and led her to a seat. ‘What’s happened?’

  ‘It’s Grant and Fergus. I’ve lost them.’

  Zoë saw Imogen sit bolt upright at the sound of her husband’s name.

  ‘What do you mean, lost them?’

  ‘We were out in the woods.’ She glanced up at Billy. ‘Near the Steinbruch. We were doing a last run through the trees as the snow really started to come down hard, and I lost contact with them. I was in the lead and when I got to the bottom and turned round, they’d gone.’

  ‘You think they’ve got lost?’

  Erika held up her hands helplessly. ‘I don’t know. One minute they were there and the next they’d disappeared. I shouted and shouted, but got no reply. The thing is, William, we were quite near the edge of the Steinbruch. If they’d headed a bit to the left of the track, they might have gone over the edge.’

  ‘What’s the Steinbruch?’ Imogen’s tone was very worried now. She jumped to her feet and came across to stand by Erika.

  ‘It’s an old quarry.’ Billy looked round the room. ‘I’m afraid it’s pretty deep.’

  As he explained, Zoë found herself feeling as worried as Imogen sounded. So Grant had left her for another woman. So he had hurt her badly. So he was a callous, selfish bastard. The fact was that she had loved him once and now, hearing that he might be in danger – or worse – she felt an unexpected surge of affection for him and fear for his safety. She lifted Bella off her lap and stood up, carefully dislodging the dog from the position he had taken up across her feet as
she did so. She went over to Billy, Erika and Imogen.

  ‘Should we inform the authorities – mountain rescue or whatever?’

  Erika looked up. ‘I’ve already done that. I told them down at the bottom of the lift and they’re sending a snowmobile out to search for them.’

  ‘Is there anything else we can do?’ Imogen was rummaging in her bag. ‘Here, I’ll try phoning Fergus. Oh God, I hope nothing’s happened to him.’

  Even amid her own anxiety, Zoë was pleased to hear real affection and concern in Imogen’s voice. Maybe she cared for her husband more than she showed.

  They all waited as Imogen made the call, but almost immediately she shook her head.

  Zoë reached for her own phone and called Grant, for the first time in a year. It rang and rang but nobody answered. For a moment she had an image of him lying broken at the bottom of a cliff, the snow slowly burying him under its weight. As she struggled to stifle the rising feeling of panic that threatened to overpower her, she felt a hand grip her shoulder.

  ‘It’ll be all right, Zo.’ Juliet’s tone was reassuring. ‘They’re both experienced. I’m sure they’ll be okay. All they need to do is keep heading downhill and they’ll come to the railway line, if not some houses.’

  Zoë nodded gratefully and did her best to sound resolute. ‘Thanks, Jules. I’m sure you’re right. We just need to be patient.’

  As they sat there waiting for news, Zoë found herself feeling unexpectedly anxious. She had come here to Austria unsure whether the sight of Grant would infuriate or depress her, but it had done neither. He had behaved himself impeccably ever since the first moment she had seen him. Even when he had come to her bedroom door and she had sent him packing, he hadn’t protested or sulked. He really was giving the impression of being a thirty-three-year-old behaving like a thirty-three-year-old, rather than a thirteen-year-old. He was also looking good, and if she was honest, she would have to admit that she still felt at least a hint of the attraction that had once drawn her to him. What if something had happened to him? How would she feel?

  She got up and went over to help herself to a glass of water and she sipped it as she peered out of the window into a featureless white miasma. The conditions were getting worse, and she couldn’t subdue a feeling of real concern for Grant’s well-being. For Fergus as well, she told herself firmly. Not just Grant. Imogen was standing by the other window, so she went over to her and stretched an arm around her shoulders.

  ‘They’re experienced skiers, Imogen. They’ll be all right.’

  ‘Oh God, I hope so.’ Imogen buried her head against Zoë’s chest as she dissolved into tears of apprehension. For a moment, Zoë almost followed suit, but she managed to stem the flow and do her best to think positive thoughts. Of course they would be all right. They had to be.

  The waiting felt interminable, and the tension in the room grew by the minute. Imogen gradually recovered her self-control and wiped her eyes, but she didn’t desert her position at the window, even though all that was visible was an ever-deepening layer of snow on the window ledge. Beyond that there was just an impenetrable white curtain. After a while, Zoë released her hold on her shoulders and returned to the sofa, where the company of the little girl and the dog was very comforting. She settled down to wait, doing her best to think happy thoughts.

  At last, maybe an hour or so later, there was the sound of voices in the corridor and the door opened to reveal Fergus and Grant. Both were still dressed in their outdoor clothes, covered in snow and bathed in sweat.

  ‘Fergus!’

  Imogen went rushing across the room to envelop him in her arms. She pressed herself against him and Zoë could see her shoulders shaking as she sobbed into his chest.

  Zoë herself felt such an immediate sense of relief that she was already leaping to her feet to go and hug Grant in her turn when she was beaten to it. Before she could make a move, Erika went running over, threw herself into his arms and hugged him with relief – or maybe something more than relief. Zoë turned away and took a couple of deep breaths, then walked over to the window, followed by Juliet.

  ‘You okay, Zo?’

  Zoë just nodded, not trusting her voice.

  ‘At least they’ve both come back safely.’

  Zoë nodded again as she heard Billy’s voice.

  ‘Erika, why don’t you go and tell the mountain rescue people to call off the search?’

  Zoë heard running feet then, a few seconds later, she felt a hand on her arm.

  ‘Sorry if I worried you, Zo.’ It was Grant.

  By this time her heartbeat was starting to return to something approaching normal. She turned to face him. He looked exhausted, his hair plastered against his scalp – presumably either sweat or melted snow. He looked so vulnerable, so different from his usual confident self, that she almost reached out and hugged him, in spite of what she had seen with Erika. But she didn’t.

  ‘I’m glad you and Fergus are safe. What happened?’

  ‘I hit a branch and it knocked me flying. As I fell, I took Fergie with me. It was snowing like hell and by the time we’d found my board buried under a deep drift, Erika’s tracks were already covered. By then it was an almost complete white-out, so we stuck under the trees, where at least you could see a few metres ahead, and finally made it down to the railway tracks. Then we had to walk.’ He hesitated. ‘It was nice of you to be concerned for me.’

  ‘I was concerned for both of you. Now, I think I’m going to have a drink.’

  She and Juliet went over to the bar and helped themselves from an open bottle of champagne. Zoë swallowed hers in one go and then spent five minutes hiccuping. By the time the hiccups had calmed down, so had she. By now, Fergus and Imogen had disappeared, as had Grant, and Zoë settled down once more on the sofa, doing her best to quell the tangled emotions in her head.

  Zoë looked down. Bella and Arnie were locked in mortal combat on the floor at her feet, so she poked them with her toes, deliberately doing her best to sound cheerful once more.

  ‘Here, no fighting before lunch. You’ll spoil your appetite – although seeing as you’re a Labrador, I imagine that’s impossible for you, Arnie.’

  Both faces looked up and Zoë felt that same maternal pang. Yes, it would be nice to have a Bella – and an Arnie.

  ‘Are you coming swimming with us, Zoë?’ Bella looked up at her from the floor.

  ‘When are you going?’

  Martin answered for his daughter. ‘Now. We’ll have a late lunch. Otherwise, if we eat first, we’ll have to wait for an hour or two before going in the water.’

  ‘You go on. I think I’ll go back to my room and change. I might go for a swim later on this afternoon.’

  After chatting to Lorna and Juliet for a while, Zoë excused herself and went back to her room to have a bath and wash her hair. As she ran the water, she added a few more notes to the page on her laptop about Billy. It was beginning to develop into quite a list, and she knew she would have to approach him about it before too long. One thing she was fully convinced of now was that she would only send something to Damien if Billy approved it.

  That done, she stripped and went through to the bathroom. As she lay in the bath, she did her best to analyse her own emotional dilemma. The inescapable truth was that when she had feared Grant might be in danger, she had been worried, very worried – the sort of worried you only get for somebody you love. Of course she had loved him, but did this maybe mean that she still had feelings for him, in spite of her best efforts to stifle them? Almost in the same breath, the image of Erika throwing herself into his arms appeared in Zoë’s mind, and she shook her head in annoyance, splashing water onto the pristine bath towel neatly folded beside her. It wouldn’t surprise her in the slightest if he and Erika had hooked up. If he could do it with the Claire girl while still living with her, he could definitely do it now that he was a free agent. However, if he really was a free agent, why was he being so affectionate to her, even to the extent of con
vincing Fergus that he wanted her back? Was that really what was in his head?

  More importantly, what was in hers? Could it be – now that he was acting much more grown-up and had apparently found himself his dream job – that he might have changed? Could she really forget the hurt he had caused her and consider trying to make it work again?

  Was he worth it?

  * * *

  After a lovely buffet lunch in their private dining room, at the end of which Zoë had been unable to resist the temptation to have a large helping of Salzburger Nockerl with plum sauce, she retired to the lounge and watched Casablanca with Juliet and Lorna. At the end of the movie, wiping the tears from her eyes as Ingrid Bergman flew away from Humphrey Bogart forever, she got up and looked out of the window. It was still snowing heavily and the branches of the trees along the drive were bowed down under the weight. It definitely wasn’t the afternoon for doing her Christmas shopping, so she made a quick decision.

  ‘I fancy a swim. Anybody interested?’

  The other two shook their heads, pleading laziness, so Zoë went back to her room, collected her costume, pinned her hair up and set off on her own. She took the lift down to the lower ground floor and, as the doors opened, she could immediately smell the thermal spring water. There was just a whiff of sulphur in it – not enough to be repellent, but definitely enough to put her off the idea of drinking it. She found Georg – the staff member who had welcomed them upon their arrival at the hotel – on duty. He gave her a welcoming smile and addressed her in German.

  ‘Good afternoon, Fräulein Lumsley. My colleague Marcel tells me you speak good German.’

  Zoë blushed. ‘Good afternoon, Georg. Only schoolgirl German, but it’s nice to get a bit of practice. So, tell me how this all works.’

  He issued her with a big fluffy towel with Grand Hotel Schlossberg emblazoned upon it, and showed her the way through to the luxurious changing rooms. She changed into her costume, folded her clothes away into a locker and slipped the key on its rubber bracelet around her wrist. Then she went through into the pool, hoping it wouldn’t be too busy. Predictably, as most outdoor activities were off the agenda because of the snow, there were quite a few people – mainly kids – in there, but it was a surprisingly big pool and she found she could swim a good few lengths without too much disturbance, doing her best to keep her hair dry as she did so.