Guilty Pleasures Read online

  Alexander grinned. “And how does Zachary feel about our getting to know each other?”

  “Zachary is my friend. He is not my father. But he cares about me and I know that he only wants the best for both of us.”

  Alexander took a bite of the steak on his plate, allowing everything she’d said to settle in his mind. The small talk continued as they enjoyed the meal, still working to find balance with each other.

  “Would you be willing to give me a do-over?” he said as he pushed his empty plate away.

  “A do-over? What is that?”

  He chuckled softly. “It’s where you let me make this evening up to you. Would you let me take you to dinner again? And this time I promise not to spend the whole night obsessing about my brother.”

  Sarai smiled, joy shimmering in her dark eyes. “I would love to have dinner with you again.”

  * * *

  Sarai could hear Zachary before she saw him. He lay stretched out across the living-room sofa, snoring loudly as the television played in the background. Three empty beer bottles resting on the coffee table made her frown. He needed to be in training mode, but there were too many things on his mind holding him back. Sarai had been concerned before, but now she was starting to seriously worry. He was less than eight months from his next title bout, and that time would come and go before he realized it. His being fit for everyday activity was a far cry from his being fit to get back into the ring. She cleared the table, taking the trash to the garbage can in the kitchen.

  Moving back into the living room, she laid a cashmere blanket gently over his large body. He shifted beneath the covering, rolling until his face was pressed into the plush pillow, muffling his snores. Sarai tiptoed to the television set and muted the volume. With one last look in his direction, she turned and headed toward her own room.

  Inside, she stripped out of her clothes and into her nightgown. In the adjoining bathroom, she washed the makeup from her face and moisturized her skin. She whispered a quick prayer for protection before sliding between the cool sheets and pulling the blankets up to her chin.

  Reaching beneath the spare pillows, she pulled a framed photograph from its hiding spot. An image of Alexander and Zachary in their early teens stared back at her. Their father stood between them, his arms draped around their shoulders. Their stepmother sat in a chair in front of the three and a lit Christmas tree appeared to twinkle in the background. The old photograph had once been a holiday card addressed to her own beloved mother.

  The day it had arrived there had been an air of sadness over the older woman as she’d sat staring at it, and then she’d smiled brightly when Sarai had wanted to see, the matriarch excited to show off her friends from America. Sarai had been smitten from the moment she’d laid eyes on that Christmas greeting. There was no mistaking that the two boys were twins. They had stood like matching statues in the same ill-fitting suits. Zachary had made a face at the camera, the moment capturing that devil-may-care attitude of his. Alexander’s expression had been more stoic, his smile slight. But there had been something in his deep blue gaze that had captured Sarai’s attention and was still holding it tightly.

  Back then she could never have imagined either one of them ever crossing her path. So Alexander had become a beautiful fantasy for her to hold tight to, imagining herself sharing her life with such a beautiful man. When her mother had died, she’d felt alone and abandoned, her fantasies seeming even less attainable. When everything had felt hopeless, the beginnings of a downhill spiral taking hold, Zachary had swooped in to save her, her dreams coming true in a way she would never have fathomed. There was nothing she wouldn’t do to repay him for everything he’d done. The love and friendship he’d given so readily had been a lifeline that had kept her afloat, and she had needed it more than she could have ever imagined. And now Alexander was in her life, wanting to also be her friend.

  The smile that pulled at her mouth twisted to a full grin. Heat rippled through her core, tiny currents of electricity piercing her feminine spirit. She bit down against her bottom lip as she curled her body against the mattress, drawing her knees to her chest. Staring at the photo for a minute longer, she pressed her lips to the glass and blew Alexander a good-night kiss. One day, she thought, she would tell him about the photo and her daydream-fueled fantasies. One day. Tucking the image back beneath the pillow, she soon drifted off to sleep, thoughts of the blue-eyed man billowing through her dreams.

  * * *

  The items and mementos that lay across Alexander’s childhood bed had filled a plastic shoebox. The shoebox had always been hidden beneath the floorboards of his father’s closet. He and Zachary had found the secret hiding place when they’d been boys, playing hide-and-seek. For them it had been a gold mine full of wondrous treasures, a looking glass into a time neither boy had any memory of. There had been many times that Alexander had “borrowed” the box, always putting it back where he’d found it when he’d satisfied his need to reminisce.

  He held up a photo of his parents, both looking like they were barely out of their teens. Their smiles were bright, something decadent shimmering in their gazes as they stared at each other and not the camera. There was another of the young couple holding their infant sons, both beaming with joy. Their mother had been a beautiful woman. Mocha skin, shoulder-length hair, and the bright blue eyes that he’d inherited.

  Searching through the old photos, the military pins, ticket stubs, and other assorted memorabilia that his father held near and dear to his heart, Alexander hoped to find something that might tell him more about the man’s relationship to Sarai’s mother and to Sarai herself. Finding nothing he hadn’t seen many times before, he repacked everything neatly, then tiptoed into his parents’ bedroom to return the box to its resting spot. Although his father always knew when he went thumbing through those old photos, Alexander never made a production of it, not wanting Mama Lynn to be upset by him revisiting a time in their lives that didn’t include her.

  Downstairs he could hear his stepmother fussing as she put the finishing touches on the Sunday meal. His parents were excited at the prospect of having both their sons at their dining table after so many years of their being apart. The playful sparring between the couple brought a smile to Alexander’s face.

  When he’d risen that morning, he’d been reluctant to come for their family reunion, but the prospect of seeing Sarai again had been just enough motivation to pull him out of his bed and point him in the direction of his parents’ home.

  He and Sarai had talked for a good long while during their first dinner date, the event one comment shy of being a total disaster. In all honesty, believing she and his brother were a couple, Alexander had only gone hoping to piss Zachary off, and when she’d called him on it, he’d felt like a complete idiot. Because truth be told, he liked Sarai. He liked her a lot, and she had deserved better from him.

  The young woman had been opinionated about everything, beginning with him and his relationship with his twin. He hadn’t been prepared to hear what she’d had to say, but she’d broken it down in no uncertain terms, not caring whether or not he’d been ready. In that moment he realized that Sarai Montri was a woman to be reckoned with. She didn’t mince words, nor did she shy away from things that were difficult. She also liked him and wanted to know what kind of man he was instead of believing what she might have been told. From start to finish, though, he hadn’t made a very good first impression, and he was hoping to change that around.

  Since then things between them had gotten easier. He enjoyed the brief moments they shared when their paths crossed at the gym. They’d fallen into a comfortable routine, and he looked forward to those moments in his day when they could share a few moments in time. Conversation was no longer awkward, and he enjoyed her humor and her flirtatious spirit.

  As Alexander sat on the edge of his parents’ king-size bed, losing himself in reflection, everything was beginning to feel right again. He felt as if he were getting a second chance, and
he was determined to make the most of it. And then the doorbell rang through the house, announcing his brother’s return to their childhood home.

  Chapter Five

  The result of hours of labor in the kitchen was splayed out across the formal dining-room table. Mama Lynn had prepared a smorgasbord of their favorite foods, the quantity as if she were planning to feed two armies and an entire nation.

  Alexander laughed heartily. “Mama Lynn, did you forget that he’s supposed to be in training and that I make a living telling people not to eat this way?”

  The older woman fanned a hand in his direction. “One day isn’t going to hurt you or anyone else,” she said as she passed him a platter of fried chicken. “I soaked that bird in buttermilk and garlic all night just like you like it. That breast meat will melt like butter in your mouth!”

  Zachary pulled a forkful of barbecued pork past his lips. “This is definitely not good for me,” he mumbled, “but I sure missed it!”

  “It’s all so good!” Sarai exclaimed as she reached for another serving of the matriarch’s infamous macaroni and cheese. “I’ll have to work out twice as hard this week, though.”

  “We all will,” Alexander said, tossing the woman a slight smile.

  Mama Lynn’s gaze skated around the table as she eyed her two boys and their new friend. Tears misted her eyes, and she jumped, turning toward the kitchen abruptly so that no one could see her struggling not to cry. “Save room for dessert!” she exclaimed, her voice cracking ever so slightly. “I made chocolate pie for you, Zachary, and fried apple pies for you, Alexander!”

  Westley chuckled softly. “Your mama’s about to bust she’s so happy to have you boys back home,” he said, his voice dropping to a loud whisper.

  The brothers exchanged a look, neither commenting. Zachary refilled his plate with collard greens as Alexander took a bite from the drumstick he’d grabbed, both refocusing on the food.

  “Should I go check on her?” Sarai asked, concern washing over her expression. She looked around the table at each of the men.

  Westley shook his head. “She’ll be fine. She’s a tough cookie! She’ll be even better once these two fix what they need to fix,” he said.

  Sarai nodded, eyeing one brother and then the other. Her gaze shifted back to their father, who was staring at her intently. She smiled, her own eyes dropping to the table.

  “Young lady, you look just like your mother,” Westley said, his tone dropping an octave. “I was very sorry to hear about her passing. She was an incredible woman and a very good friend.”

  The young woman smiled. “Thank you for saying so, Mr. Barrett. How well did you know my mother?”

  Westley cut an eye at both of his sons, who were eyeing him curiously. “I imagine you must miss her very much,” he said and then he deflected the conversation.

  “So Alexander, what’s this I hear about you doing a golf training program with Tiger Woods?” he asked as he took another bite of his candied yams.

  Minutes later Mama Lynn returned to the table, her smile bright and full. “Your daddy probably thinks I forgot all about him with you boys being home.” She reached for her husband’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I made you two honey bun cakes, Mr. Barrett!”

  Westley laughed. “That’s what I’m talking about and I don’t care if I work it off or not!”

  The family all laughed with him. The dinner conversation was light and easy, each of them taking many trips down memory lane. Lynn and Westley were kind and generous as they tried to make Sarai feel welcome, pulling her into their conversations. Both asked a ton of questions about her home and family, as curious about her as she was about them. On the outside looking in, no one would have ever imagined any of them not getting along.

  As Westley finished the last of his cake and the sliver of chocolate pie his wife had placed on his dessert plate, he leaned back in his seat, folding his hands together in his lap. For a brief moment he seemed to drift off into thought. As his family caught him staring into space, their conversation came to an abrupt halt, everyone turning to stare. He suddenly lifted his gaze, observing them all one by one. He rested his eyes on his sons but directed his conversation toward the women.

  “Sarai, I know you’re a guest but if you don’t mind I would really appreciate it if you would give Mama Lynn a hand with the dishes while these two go handle their business. I have some light reading I’d like to catch up on.”

  The young woman nodded. Her voice was soft as she answered. “Of course, Mr. Barrett. That’s not a problem at all.”

  Alexander felt himself bristle, every muscle in his body tensing. Zachary’s discomfort was suddenly as palpable as his own. He took a deep breath and held it as he and his brother locked gazes. Their father continued.

  “You two need to go on up to your old room and hash out your differences. Don’t come back down until you’re best friends again. Is that clear?” He fixed his gaze on Alexander.

  Knowing that there was no need to respond, the brothers both stood at the same time. Heading out the room, Zachary stopped at the oak buffet and reached for a bottle of scotch that rested against the cabinet’s top.

  Following on his brother’s heels, Alexander grabbed two highball glasses. Tossing Sarai a quick glance over his shoulder, Alexander disappeared from sight, the two men bounding up the stairs together.

  When the bedroom door slammed closed, everyone sitting at the table released a collective sigh. Lynn and Westley exchanged a look, a silent conversation playing between them. Sarai’s gaze skated back and forth before finally dropping to the floor, for the first time feeling like she didn’t belong. Her own anxiety level rose tenfold.

  Mama Lynn patted her on the back. “Don’t you worry, dear! Everything’s going to be fine.”

  Sarai reached for the empty plates, helping to clear the table. “This will be good for them,” she said softly.

  The older woman nodded in agreement. “So tell me, Sarai, how long have you and my son Zachary been a thing?”

  * * *

  The silence was uncomfortable. Neither man spoke. Alexander took a seat on his mattress, dropping the two glasses in his hand to the nightstand that separated the two twin beds. Zachary sat on his own bed as he popped the cap on that bottle of scotch, filling the two tumblers with the amber-colored fluid. He passed one glass to his twin, then lifted the other in a mock toast. Alexander watched as his twin guzzled the warm drink; then he did the same, the scotch burning his throat as he swallowed it down. He slapped the glass back onto the nightstand, and Zachary refilled it with another shot of booze. Half the bottle was gone before either man said a word.

  “So, what now?” Zachary asked. “What do I need to do or say to make things right with you?” Contrition seeped from his stare, his left eye twitching nervously. His brow was lifted, his expression questioning.

  “I don’t know if there’s anything you can say or do,” Alexander answered honestly. “Things will never be the same between us, so does it really matter?”

  Zachary heaved a deep breath, sucking warm air into his lungs. “It matters to me. And things might not be the same but I really want them to be better. I miss you, A. You were my best friend.”

  Alexander jumped abruptly, pointing a finger in his brother’s direction. “Your best friend? If what you did is how you treat your best friend I’d hate to see what you’d do to an enemy!” He found himself shouting, his tone harsh.

  Zachary jumped with him, the two men standing toe-to-toe. “But you weren’t my enemy, you were my brother!”

  “Then you should have acted like it!” Alexander screamed. There was a brief moment of hesitation as his rage rose to a crescendo, and then with nothing but revenge in his heart, he threw the first punch, his fist connecting with Zachary’s jaw.

  The punch to his face threw Zachary’s head back, everything about the punch unexpected. He stumbled; then his body instinctively shifted into defense mode. Reflex tensed every muscle, and before he realiz
ed it, he’d lifted his hands, balled his own fists, and threw a punch back, connecting with his brother’s eye. Before either could rationalize what they were doing, they were suddenly rolling around the room, their fight a knock-down, drag-out brawl.

  Below, the family all lifted their eyes to the ceiling at the same time. The noise coming from above was thunderous. Sarai held her breath, the anxiety sweeping through her like a bad virus. She tossed the two parents a look, the couple exchanging their own stares.

  “They are tearing that room up!” Mama Lynn admonished, her head waving from side to side.

  Westley shrugged his shoulders, his expression indifferent. “If they break it they’ll fix it,” he said nonchalantly. He went back to reading the magazine that had held his attention before the interruption.

  “Just doesn’t make any sense,” the older woman muttered. She reached for her teapot and refilled Sarai’s cup with the warm brew. “They’ve been fighting like that since they were little boys. One would get angry, then they would hit and punch each other for an hour. Ten minutes later they’d hug and make up like nothing happened.”

  “That’s what we want,” her husband interjected. “They need to get it out of their system, then get to the hug and make-up part.” His graying head bounced up and down as if unhinged.

  Mama Lynn rolled her eyes skyward. “Grown-ass men acting like they’re two years old. Don’t make no kind of sense! Time for this nonsense to stop!”

  Sarai smiled, amusement painting her expression.

  The noise from the second floor continued for a good few minutes, bodies sounding like they were being slammed against the floorboards. The walls shook, and muffled grunts and curses echoed in the air.

  Back in the bedroom, the two men finally came to a halt, their fight stopping as quickly as it started. Both men were breathing heavily, air coming in deep gasps. Alexander slid his buttocks across the floor, backing himself against the twin bed. Zachary retreated to the space across from him. They sat in the quiet that followed, the wealth of it feeling like a healing balm.