Guilty Pleasures Read online

  She smiled. “Then I would very much like to have dinner with you. We can meet back here, or at the restaurant, whichever you prefer.”

  “I can pick you up,” he said. “If that won’t be a problem.” He cut an eye at his brother before shifting his gaze back to hers.

  “It won’t be,” she replied, tossing Zachary her own look. “Does seven o’clock work for you?”

  “Seven is good.”

  “Do you know where I live?”

  He nodded. “My mother says it’s a big house.” Color suddenly warmed his cheeks as he imagined how foolish that might have sounded.

  She smiled sweetly. “I’ll be ready when you get there,” she said as she turned, heading in the direction of the front door. Without uttering another word, she gestured for Zachary to follow.

  The two brothers exchanged one last look. Bemused, Zachary shrugged his shoulders. Alexander gave him a raised brow, his own stare questioning. Neither spoke as Zachary turned, striding quickly to catch up with his friend. Watching the two exit the building, Alexander was flooded with a wealth of emotion, excitement leading the list as he realized he’d just made a date for dinner.

  Chapter Four

  “And you’re having dinner with my brother, why?”

  Sarai rolled her eyes skyward. “Because I like him and I would like to get to know him better.”

  She stood in front of a full-length mirror, modeling one shoe and then another as she debated which to wear with the form-fitting dress that covered her body.

  Zachary shook his head. “Wear the black heels. Those are hot!”

  She nodded as she tossed the tan pumps aside.

  “You like him. What does that mean? Are you interested in him romantically?”

  Sarai smiled, her head waving. Amusement danced in her eyes. “Would there be something wrong with that?”

  He shrugged his broad shoulders. “You don’t think it’s a little weird?”

  “No.”

  “But we’re best friends and he’s my brother.”

  “We’re not dating, have never dated, and will never go there with each other. The same rules don’t apply to Alex.”

  “Is this a transference thing? You can’t have me so my twin is the next best thing?”

  “I’m not attracted to you, Zachary. Not like that. Your twin is a very different man even if you two do resemble each other. He excites me. You don’t.”

  “I think my feelings are hurt.”

  She laughed. “You’ll get over it.”

  “Well, I’m leaving before he gets here. Then again, maybe I should stay.”

  “Please, do not put him in a bad mood before we leave. If you ruin my evening I will not forgive you.”

  “Then I’m leaving because if he sees me he’s going to be in a bad mood. I seem to do that to him. I think I’ll go grab a drink with some friends.”

  “You are not supposed to be drinking, remember? You’re in training. Besides, you don’t have any friends.”

  “I have friends. I have lots of friends.”

  “Do not bring any strange women back to this house, Zachary,” Sarai admonished. “I’m warning you now!”

  “That’s what hotel rooms are for. Make sure you tell my brother that. In case you two get any ideas of your own!” Zachary said with a wry laugh.

  “That was so unnecessary!” Sarai shook her head. “Please, leave. Now!”

  “I’m going,” Zachary said as he stood up, moving toward the door. For a brief moment he stood staring at her, meeting her gaze evenly. “Have fun,” he said softly. “And I really mean that.”

  She smiled. “Thank you.”

  “And if you get a chance, put in a good word for me,” he said. Then with a wink of his eye, he was gone.

  * * *

  It was only minutes later when the front doorbell chimed through the house, announcing Alexander’s arrival. Sarai took one last look at her reflection in the mirror before moving toward the front of the home to greet him.

  Pulling the door open, she smiled warmly. “Hello!” she exclaimed, meeting Alexander’s nervous gaze.

  Alexander wore a casual gray suit, gray leather loafers, and a white dress shirt opened at the neck. He was freshly shaven, and the faintest hint of his cologne scented the air around him. He was a tall, decadent drink of chocolate, and she was suddenly thirsty for something sweet. Sarai’s eyes widened in appreciation.

  The sight of her instantly eased Alexander’s anxiety. She was stunning, and he found himself feeling like he’d hit the jackpot and won the lottery all in the same day. He stepped inside the doorway, the tension lifting from his face as he greeted her with a bright smile. “You look beautiful,” he said, his eyes skirting the length of her body.

  The dress she wore was a summery shade of peach with a deep V-neck and cap sleeves. The hem stopped just above her knee. It complemented the slight curve of her breasts and hips, and the heels she wore gave her just enough lift to balance her well-toned legs.

  “Thank you,” she said as she tossed the length of her dark, lush hair over her shoulder.

  His cerulean gaze skated around the room behind her, curiosity washing over his expression. His brother was nowhere to be seen, and he found himself thinking that his twin had to be lurking somewhere in the background.

  “He’s not here,” she said, seeming to read his mind.

  “Excuse me?”

  She eyed him with a raised brow. “Your brother. He’s not here.”

  “Oh, I wasn’t . . .”

  She held up an index finger, exasperation flushing her face. “Yes, you were.”

  Alexander flinched. “Sorry. I just wondered . . .” He paused, suddenly unable to explain what he’d been thinking without digging himself into a bigger hole. “I’m sorry!”

  Sarai changed the subject. “So, where are we going?”

  * * *

  When it first opened, Radda Trattoria had been named one of the top ten hottest new restaurants by Bon Appétit magazine. Time had made it a consistent favorite among the Boulder, Colorado crowd that often frequented the space. Alexander had reserved a quiet table for two, and he and Sarai were seated comfortably by the oversized fireplace that decorated the room.

  On the ride over, the two had made small talk, their limited conversation edged in much silence. Both were surprised by the rise of apprehension that seemed to plague their short trip to the downtown area. Once seated, there had been a good ten minutes of focusing on their menus and not each other, both trying to find a semblance of balance.

  Alexander sighed heavily, a loud gust of air hissing past his full lips. He found himself apologizing again. “I didn’t mean to let my problems with my brother become an issue between us. And I definitely didn’t want it to impact our evening! I’m really sorry about that.”

  Sarai sat back in her seat, dropping her hands into her lap. “Why is it so hard for you to forgive him?”

  He met her stare before dropping his gaze to the table. “He betrayed me. He didn’t care about my feelings. I trusted him and he stabbed me in the back. I can never trust him again.”

  She nodded. “He misses you and he wants things between you two to get better.”

  “I really don’t care what he wants.” His gaze shifted back to hers, his expression steadfast.

  “That’s not true. You do care. That’s why you’re still angry. And it’s why you’re having such a difficult time now.”

  He shrugged. “So why is Zachary so important to you? What’s your relationship with my brother anyway? Are you two dating?”

  She hesitated for a brief second, her eyes skating over his face as she studied his mood. She took a deep inhale of air before finally answering. “Zachary and I are very good friends. He has been very good to me and my father and I owe him my life. I grew up in a very small village outside of Phuket. When your brother moved to Thailand, he hired my father to work for him. They became friends and then he took me under his wing, too. There weren’t ma
ny opportunities for women there and I didn’t have a bright future. My father would have married me off and I would have worked in the fields but your brother arranged for me to go to school in France. He afforded me opportunities that I would never have had access to. And he made it possible for my father to support his family and keep his home.”

  Alexander nodded, pausing to reflect on her statement. “So you and he have never slept with each other?”

  “Never,” she said, a hint of annoyance flashing in her eyes. “If I had, this”—she fanned her hand between them—“would never be happening. I’m not Felicia and I would never be with one brother and then move on to the other if things didn’t work out. That is just wrong in so many ways!”

  “So, you know my brother’s wife?” he asked.

  “I did. I know that she was not a good person. You should actually thank your brother for saving you from much heartbreak. She used him and she made his life miserable. He still suffers from the hurt of it. She didn’t love you and she didn’t love him.”

  “Well, isn’t karma a bitch!” he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

  “Karma is many things and I think it is good karma that has brought you two back to each other. You should follow the spirit and allow what should be to happen.”

  “I don’t know that I agree with you.”

  “You and your brother are both so stubborn!” She tossed up her hands in frustration.

  “I am nothing like my brother,” he hissed between clenched teeth.

  “You are exactly like your brother!” she hissed back, unmoved by his rancor.

  He grunted, frustration furrowing his brow. There was a brief moment of pause as the waiter brought their meals to the table. As the young man stepped away, Alexander resumed the conversation.

  “This might be none of my business but what actually happened with Zachary and Felicia? What went wrong?”

  Sarai dabbed a cloth napkin against her lips, then folded it on her lap. She took a deep breath and held it for a brief moment as she decided whether or not to make what she knew his business. She blew that breath out slowly before speaking. “Besides her being a bitch? Felicia left him for another man. An expat from Britain who’d come to Thailand to train with your brother. He didn’t see it coming and it devastated him. Your brother truly loved her.”

  “I truly loved her. So now he knows how that felt.”

  There was an air of satisfaction in his tone that Sarai found off-putting. She pondered on it briefly before responding. She sat forward in her seat, pulling her folded hands to the top of the table as she pushed her plate from her. “You just thought you were in love with her. She truly did not have your heart. This has never been about you loving her. It’s been about your love for your brother.”

  “How can you say that?”

  “Because you have been bothered more by what he did than you were about her and what she did. You’ve been so focused on being angry with Zachary that you never considered how she betrayed you. In fact, I’m willing to bet that you were never as angry with her as you were with him. You would have forgiven and taken her back but would still have been angry with Zachary.”

  “And that’s not love?”

  “That was all ego, feeling like you had to prove you were the better twin.”

  “I don’t agree. I know what I felt was love.”

  “It was, for Zachary. He’s your blood and that tie supersedes all others. Especially since Felicia wasn’t a good woman and you knew it. Why would you still want a woman who pursued your brother and tricked him into marrying her, all the time professing how much she loved you?”

  “Tricked?”

  “Did he ever tell you that she said the two of you really didn’t have a relationship? That you were just obsessed with her?”

  “He might have but I told him that wasn’t true.”

  “Or that she even accused you of beating her?”

  “He knew that wasn’t true.”

  “Did he really? Because you do have a bit of a temper. You both do.”

  He looked at her with a raised brow, then shifted his eyes to stare at the wall. She continued.

  “Did you ever stop to think what else Felicia might have been telling him?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Not really.”

  “Exactly. She whispered many lies in his ears and he fell for them. Just like you fell for them. She lied that she was pregnant. She said that you didn’t want anything to do with her. That’s why he married her so quickly. He was devastated to find out she paid a doctor to lie to him about the pregnancy. There had never been any baby.”

  “He never told me that.”

  “It’s difficult to speak with a man who doesn’t want to hear you. And I have been able to see for myself how you push him away. How you don’t listen to what he is trying to say to you. You turned a deaf ear to your brother so no matter what he had to say you couldn’t hear him.”

  “You weren’t here so you really don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, an air of attitude ringing in his tone.

  “I know that she lied to you too. She even told me so. She bragged about it! She lied about her family. She lied about accidentally running into you that first time you met. She lied to break you up with the dark-haired girl you were dating back then. Remember her? She lied about being afraid of her ex-boyfriend so that you would want to protect her. She told you many lies and much like your brother you just didn’t want to acknowledge them. You still don’t. She had you so twisted that you still can’t pull your head out of your ass to see straight!”

  Alexander suddenly thought about the things between him and Felicia that had never added up. Red flags that had given him fair warning about the kind of woman she had been. And despite the many signs, he’d ignored them, making her the woman he had wanted her to be in his mind. But his relationship with his brother’s ex-wife had built like a raging fire, and when the flames had gone out there’d been nothing left but property damage.

  Since then he hadn’t found a reason to try again. Searching for long-term love seemed hopeless, and he’d adapted to a solitary life that revolved around his business and the hobbies he enjoyed. His failed relationship had made him wary of the hurt and disappointment love left behind. Now Sarai had him considering the source of his heartbreak and considering that perhaps it was as much his fault as anyone else’s. The truth of it was painted across his face as Sarai continued.

  “I know many things about you, Alexander Barrett. And I know them because your brother opened his heart and shared them with me. I know that you wanted a degree in journalism but did what your father wanted instead, even though it wasn’t your first love. I know that you were happier when you were a member of the national ski team because you loved to do that more than play basketball. Zachary encouraged you to follow your heart and instead you focused all your time and attention on helping him discover his passion.

  “I know that you would shelter your brother at night when you were boys because he’s afraid of the dark. You always kept a flashlight nearby to pacify him. And you would eat his greens and tomatoes when your parents insisted you clean your plates because he hated the vegetables. I know that you told him how to make the moves to get his first kiss before you had even gotten your own.” She smiled, the lift to her thin lips returning to her face. She continued.

  “The things I know, that your brother has shared, tell me that you love your brother very much. And I know firsthand how much he loves you. You’re angry with him because you do care. And now, you are letting him be an issue between us because you truly miss him and I am the closest thing to him that you have right now.”

  Hot saline simmered behind Alexander’s eyelids. He refused to meet the woman’s intense stare, fearing the tears might actually fall if he looked at her. There was much truth to what she said and even more that he needed to reflect on.

  Still looking at the space over her shoulder, he took a deep breath and spoke. “Why
did you agree to have dinner with me? Was it just to plead my brother’s case?”

  “What you should be asking is what motivated you to invite me to dinner. If I’m not mistaken you didn’t know about my relationship with your brother when you first asked me to go out with you. Did you?”

  He finally dropped his eyes back to hers. “No, I didn’t. I asked you out because I liked you and I thought we’d made a connection.”

  She met his stare, her own eyes shimmering with life. “Thought or knew? Because I didn’t have any doubts.”

  A quick smirk crossed his face. “I didn’t have any doubts either. I knew something had clicked between us and I was excited to see where that might go.”

  “And I accepted because I liked you, too. And I wanted to get to know you for myself. Because from everything your brother has told me and everything I’ve read about you, and what your friends and family have had to say, it would seem that you’re an incredible man. Respected, trusted, honorable, talented, spiritual, the list is endless. If I were to believe it all, you’re damn near perfect.” Her words were soft and seductive, her slight smile teasing. “But, truth be told, I’m not convinced,” she concluded, “even if you do have the most beautiful eyes.”

  A smile pulled at his full lips, drawing his mouth into a half-moon. His tone softened. “So where do we go from here? How do I convince you that I really am one of the good guys?”

  She paused momentarily before answering. “I guess that will depend on where you would like us to go. And whether or not you can resolve things with your brother. Because he’s my friend and I want to see you both happy.”

  “And if he and I can’t fix things?”

  “I trust that you will. You will do it for you and you will also do it for me. Your brother has earned my friendship so he will always have my loyalty. You and I are just beginning to know each other. You still have some work to do. But I assure you I am well worth the effort. But hopefully you’ll want to get to know me and discover that for yourself.”