Here and Now Read online

  She shook her head and, turning away from the mirror, picked up the nursing bra she had purchased months ago, and hooked herself into it. The thing was too small and reminded her of something her mother would have worn. Forget Victoria’s Secret for a while. Deciding that any further thoughts about what had happened to her body would cause a mini breakdown, she picked up the white cotton nightgown and slipped it over her head. Mindlessly, she began buttoning it down the front and, when finished, she smoothed her fingers over the eyelet lace on the collar. It was soft and comforting and familiar. And so matronly. She walked into her bedroom and opened her closet door to find the matching robe. She just needed a little rest and then she would feel better… about her body, about her life, about everything. Now was the time to pamper herself, since there was no one else to do it. She would get Matty and bring him upstairs and then get into bed.

  Noticing the blinking red light on her answering machine, Suzanne fluffed out her hair as she walked to the night table. Without thought, she pushed the button and listened as the machine rewound the tape.

  She felt her body stiffen as Kevin’s voice filled her bedroom. So he was staying with Ingrid? And he thought she would call him there? What arrogance! Deciding she didn’t have to do anything right now, she turned toward Kevin’s closet and threw open the door to see what he’d left behind.

  How he had loved to spend money on clothes, as if expensive material could cover what was in his heart. He was selfish and dishonest and… not all that great looking, either. Picturing Charlie in his rumpled clothes, she reached out and tore a blue and white tattersall shirt from a hanger. She rummaged through a line of perfectly pressed trousers and grabbed a dark blue pair and added it to the shirt.

  Now that the idea of dressing Charlie had materialized, she felt much better as she slowly bent down and picked up a pair of soft leather Docksiders. Maybe they would fit. She turned to the built-in drawers and was relieved to find that when Kevin had hurriedly packed, he’d left a few pair of boxers. Picking up one, she opened the next drawer and grabbed up a sleeveless undershirt.

  Somebody far more deserving was waiting downstairs.

  She came upon them in the living room. Charlie was lying back on the sofa with Matty cradled to his chest. It appeared both of them were napping. She stood for a moment and just stared at the serene picture they presented and again felt that tightness in her throat. What would she have ever done without him? She didn’t even want to consider how badly it might have turned out and she was grateful he was in her life. She also was human enough to admit that Charles Garrity, time traveler, was one attractive man. Even though he’d benefit from a bath, his cheeks sported a day’s growth of stubble, and his hair could use a good brushing… there was something very tenderly handsome about him. Even the nurse at the hospital thought so.

  She sighed deeply and pushed such ridiculous thoughts out of her head. Now was not the time to be entertaining crazy notions about another man, especially a man who claimed to be from the 1920s. Better to busy herself with useful things—like making lunch. She was starved. Placing the clothing on the edge of the sofa, Suzanne walked into her kitchen and filled the teapot with water. How she loved this big homey room. It was here that she had entertained, here she had dreamed of a future with… When she felt that heaviness pushing down on her again, she immediately deleted thoughts of a future. Don’t think. Work, she admonished herself. She opened the refrigerator and began pulling out leftover chicken. Within minutes, she was making chicken salad when she suddenly got tired. She dragged the wooden stool over to the island and sat on the edge, for she was still so sore.

  “You’re overdoing it, Suzie,” she murmured to herself, and was startled when she saw Charlie standing at the doorway with Matty still against his chest.

  “I agree,” he whispered with a smile. “Why don’t we trade? I’ll take over the cooking.”

  Pleased to see him, Suzanne nodded and pushed away from the food preparation. “I want to apologize to you for my… my little breakdown earlier. I guess it was just postpartum blues,” she said, as she reached for her son.

  Charlie handed the baby over to her and nodded. “That’s what I thought too.”

  She couldn’t help chuckling. “You did, huh? So you’ve been around new mothers a lot, have you?”

  “Actually, you’re my first, but a grandmother in the hospital told me about it, and it looks like she was right on target.”

  “Hmm… well, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make such a scene.”

  “Look, Suzanne, you’ve been through a lot, just since I’ve met you. You deserve to have a good cry if it helps.”

  Inhaling the clean scent of her son, Suzanne grinned. “It’s hormones, mood swings, but I’m much better now. Just a little tired.”

  “Why don’t you go lie down? I’ll bring you a tray.”

  “Oh, before you do anything, I brought you some clothes, so you can take a shower and change.”

  Standing with his hands on his hips, he surveyed the ingredients before him and shrugged his shoulders. “You can wait?”

  “I can wait,” she answered, secretly wondering how Charlie would look all cleaned up. Again realizing how ridiculous her thought patterns were, she turned and said, “We’ll be right down here. Turn off the water. We’ll have tea later.”

  “Are they your husband’s clothes?” he asked, doing as she’d asked.

  She turned at the doorway. “Yes. Don’t let that bother you, okay? Soon we can go to the store and get you something new. That’s all I have to offer right now.”

  “Well, I thank you, Suzanne. I wouldn’t mind cleaning myself up a bit.”

  “Do you know how to use the shower?” As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she thought how odd they were.

  “Shower?”

  “Yes.” She was right when she thought she’d have to explain. “Use the hall bathroom. In the tub you will see a large knob. Pull it out and adjust the temperature. There are clean towels in there. Oh, and could you bring the bassinet downstairs for me? It’s in the nursery.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair and grinned sheepishly. “And that’s for a baby, right?”

  She grinned. “It’s like a portable crib. You can’t miss it. It’s right in the middle of the floor with long white skirt and—”

  “I remember seeing it last night,” he interrupted as he passed her. “I’ll be right back.”

  Suzanne watched him hurry toward the stairs and she found herself really smiling. “We’ve got some help here, Matty. We’re going to make it.”

  When she placed Matty in the bassinet, he stirred and made tiny whimpering noises as she lifted his gown and checked his diaper. He was wet. She went over to the bag Charlie had dropped in the foyer and found a clean one and some wipes. With each footstep, she could feel how sore she was and knew she had to get off her feet soon. No point in overdoing now when she had so much of her life to figure out. As she changed her son, she wondered when she should call Kevin. The question weighed on her conscience, for she knew it wouldn’t be an easy conversation. He would want to come over and see Matty, and that wasn’t what she needed today. All she wanted was some peace and quiet to rest. She deserved that after the hell she’d been through in the last day.

  After she changed the baby, she picked him up and walked over to the sofa. Propping him up with a pillow under her elbow, Suzanne unbuttoned her nightgown and thought she would try and nurse Matty again. No one had prepared her for all this and she realized she was going to have to learn how to be a mother on her own.

  She curled her legs up onto the sofa and relaxed as the baby latched onto her and began suckling. Allowing all the tension to drain out of her, she marveled at the miracle of her body to sustain life.

  Yeah… it was all worth it, she thought, as she heard the water turn on upstairs. She didn’t even care what her body looked like right now. So what if she never again looked like a siren. It was obvious she’d never made a go
od one anyway. This was a new season in her life. Now she was a mother, and that is where she would focus her attention… on the tiny miracle in her arms.

  Surely it was a miracle, Charles thought as the hot water cascaded down his naked body. There was no heater that he could see, and yet steaming water came right out of the wall like a hard rain. He found the soap in a dish on the side of the tub and began lathering himself. He lifted his face to the water and let the soap rinse off, while wishing that he could shave the dark growth of his beard. Still, he was grateful to Suzanne for offering her home and all its many wonders. It appeared that electricity fueled most of the conveniences, even the stove, which was like a flat piece of glass with rings painted upon it. All one had to do was turn a switch and it became hot. He admitted that he missed his home. He missed Grace, and he most assuredly missed the opportunity to even the score with Mitch, but he couldn’t deny his pleasure in the future. And he had to acknowledge that since he’d met Suzanne his life had taken on new meaning.

  Never before had he been interested in babies, though he knew at some point in the future he wanted children of his own. Yet Matty was quickly working his way into his heart and none of it made sense. He supposed he would feel that way about any helpless creature, but being there with Suzanne as that tiny being was working so hard to come into this world had changed him. He felt a part of Matty’s life.

  Wanting to erase such thoughts from his head, he lathered it and scrubbed his scalp. It wouldn’t do to become attached to anyone now. He would figure out his situation and then he would be leaving Suzanne and her child. Maybe he wouldn’t get back to his own time, but he knew he couldn’t depend on Suzanne for long. He would help her until she was back on her feet and then he knew he had to move on. He’d done it before when he’d left Ireland, and he could do it again.

  He knew about taking chances… but time traveling into the future?

  Realizing how long he’d been bathing and not wanting to use up all Suzanne’s hot water, he turned off the shower, as she called it, and reached beyond the curtain for a towel. He spied the clothes she had given him and had to admit that the thought of wearing her husband’s belongings didn’t sit well with him.

  What was the old saying?

  Beggars can’t be choosers.

  He was that, all right, not having anything of his own save the clothes that had been on his back. So he would stifle any pride he had left and wear what she had given him while he cleaned his own clothes. Drying himself off, he began to dress quickly. He had promised Suzanne lunch and had every intention of taking care of her until she could take care of herself. It was the very least he could do for her. He wouldn’t betray her trust, for she’d had enough betrayal in her life, and he vowed to put Suzanne’s and Matty’s welfare before his own… at least for now.

  When he came downstairs he found Suzanne in the kitchen, busily cutting a tomato.

  “What are you doing? I said I would make lunch.”

  “I know,” she nodded. “But I had my heart set on chicken salad and Matty fell back asleep and so—”

  “And so,” he interrupted, “you couldn’t sit still. May I remind you that you just had a baby?”

  She glanced up from the cutting board and seemed startled for just a moment as she took in his appearance before grinning. “Throwing my words back at me, huh?”

  “If it will make you rest, then yes.”

  She held out the handle of the knife to him. “You may take over. I surrender.”

  He nodded and took it from her. “Now, sit down and relax. I’ll take care of this.”

  She sat on the edge of the stool and watched as he sliced the tomato and divided it between two plates. “By the way, you clean up very well, Mr. Garrity. No one could ever tell you just time traveled seventy-five years into the future.”

  He looked at her from the corner of his eye. “Why, thank you, madam. And may I say that you’re looking better yourself?”

  She shrugged. “Oh, Charlie, you should have seen me before… well, before yesterday. Let’s just say, I’m not myself.”

  He stopped what he was doing and stared at her. “Who else would you be, if not yourself?”

  “What I meant was you didn’t meet me at my best.”

  “Suzanne, from what I’ve seen in the last day, you were at your best. You saved my life. You gave life to your son. How could that not be your best?”

  She appeared embarrassed. “I was talking about the way I look.”

  “Oh. Well, I think you look just fine. Now, sit at the table and allow me to serve you,” he said, spooning chicken salad onto the plates.

  Suzanne did as he requested and folded her hands at the edge of the table as she waited.

  “Napkins?”

  “In the drawer to your left,” she answered.

  He pulled out two cloth napkins and opened the drawer where he’d found the knives and forks. Taking the proper utensils, he then came to the table and set it for the two of them.

  When he placed the plate in front of her, he asked, “What would you like to drink?”

  “There’s tea brewing in the pot.”

  Taking down two cups, he poured the tea and brought them to the table. “Now what do you take in it? Sugar? Lemon? Cream?”

  “Just sugar,” she murmured, as he picked up the bowl. “I’m impressed,” she added when he sat down next to her.

  He brought the napkin to his lap and turned to her. “Why? I acquainted myself last night with your remarkable kitchen and I should know how you take your tea, since I intend to serve you in bed. You really should be there, you know.”

  Her lips seemed to tremble slightly and she took a deep breath before nodding. “I know,” she said with a weary sigh. “As soon as lunch is over I’m going upstairs with the baby. I will admit I’m tired.”

  “Then let’s begin, shall we?”

  Nodding, she smiled as she placed the napkin on her lap and picked up her fork. “A joint effort. We’ve done well so far, Charlie, don’t you think?”

  “Yes, Suzanne, we have. Considering where we both were yesterday, I think we’ve done remarkably well. There’s even a new addition asleep in the next room. May I say how much I admire you?”

  She appeared embarrassed again as she shook her head. “Thank you, but I just did what nature demanded. You seem to forget how I lied to everyone at the hospital. Not much to admire in that,” she muttered, putting the fork into her mouth.

  Charles swallowed. “You did what you thought was necessary. I don’t judge you, Suzanne. Besides, I’m too grateful to be here, clean, rested, eating this wonderful lunch you’ve prepared. My statement stands. You are a woman to be admired.”

  “Don’t make me cry, Charlie,” she said with a self-conscious laugh. “You know how easily I can do it now.”

  Shaking his head, he grinned at her. “Suzanne McDermott, allow the Irish in me to make a prediction. Sooner than you think, you will be just fine. Maybe better than fine. You’re a strong woman.”

  She continued to eat, repeating his words in her head. She was a strong woman. The last twenty-four hours should certainly have proved that. All she had to do was—

  Her thoughts immediately ceased when the door bell rang. She and Charlie just stared at each other until it rang again. Afraid it would wake Matty, she started to push herself away from the table, when Charlie reached out and grasped her wrist.

  “Stay seated. I’ll answer it.”

  “It may be Kevin.”

  “I said I’ll get it.” He wiped his mouth with the napkin before placing it calmly on the table.

  Suzanne’s heart started thumping in her chest as she watched him walk out of the room. She heard the front door open and when she heard Kevin’s voice, she closed her eyes and tried to mine some reserve of strength for the inevitable confrontation.

  “Where’s Suzanne? Who are you?”

  Standing up slowly, she walked into the living room and saw her husband at the door staring at Ch
arlie as though he wanted to thrash him. “It’s all right, Charlie,” Suzanne called out as she stood next to the bassinet. “You can let him in.”

  Charlie waved his hand toward the living room and Kevin strode over to her. He was dressed in tan slacks and a pale yellow cardigan. He was probably on his way to play golf at the club. She noticed that his face looked red and his expression was sour. At one time it might have affected her, but not today. “I was going to contact you,” she began, clutching the edge of the bassinet.

  “Who is that man?” Kevin demanded, glaring back at Charlie, who was standing on the edge of the foyer watching them. “What is he doing here?”

  “He works for me now,” Suzanne answered and was amazed at how easily it came to her. “I need help around the farm since…” She took a deep breath. “Since yesterday I went into labor.” Looking down into the bassinet, she murmured, “Matty was born at six-fourteen last evening.”

  “What?”

  She didn’t even bother to look up as Kevin slowly approached. Instead, she smiled down at her sleeping son. “He’s perfectly healthy, though I don’t think he cares for sunshine just yet.”

  “So that’s why you didn’t answer the phone,” Kevin whispered. “I thought you might have… have…”

  His words trailed off and Suzanne glanced up. “Don’t flatter yourself, Kevin. I wouldn’t harm myself or my son over you.”

  “May I hold him?” Kevin asked, ignoring her last statement.

  She debated the question. Matty was sleeping, yet she knew if she didn’t allow it Kevin would hound her. Bending down, she picked up Matty and held him out to his father.

  Kevin accepted the baby and just stared down at him, a look of wonder on his face. “My son,” he whispered.

  A surge of anger rushed through her body. How she had pictured this scene in her mind so many times—her husband cradling their newborn. She just never imagined that he would be living with her best friend at the time and planning a divorce. Wanting to tear Matty away from him, Suzanne took a deep breath and said to Charlie, “Let’s finish our lunch.” If she didn’t get away from Kevin, she couldn’t be held responsible for her actions.