Strife: Hidden Book Four Read online

  My mother went to find Asclepias and Nain, my dad, and I went into the house. I made a pot of coffee and we ended up sitting around my kitchen table drinking out of my vintage FireKing coffee cups. It felt surreal, especially since my father was drinking out of the Snoopy one and Nain was using the same one he’d used the morning he’d died, the dark orange one. I looked down at the Formica tabletop. The thing inside me seemed smug, almost pleased. It wasn’t raging, which I guessed was a good thing, though it had apparently gotten all of its rage out the night before.

  Hades and Nain talked about damage control. About how it was a good thing many beings hadn’t seen me in my true, winged, form. Nain seemed perfectly fine with the idea of destroying anyone who decided to publicly connect me to the video.

  “Don’t,” I said, still looking down at the table top.

  “If they talk, if they cause trouble for you, I’m gonna shut them up. We can’t be soft about this.”

  “I agree with the demon.”

  “Of course you do,” I said, glancing up at my father. “But I don’t. Hunting down anyone who talks isn’t going to help. It’s only going to make people wonder if maybe those who talked were right. We’re not the mob.”

  They were both silent, irritated. Demonic/Nether anger coming at me from both directions.

  “Set the testosterone aside for a minute and think,” I said, transferring my gaze to Nain. “You want to make me look guilty? Do you want to make it obvious I did this, or do you want to help me fix it?”

  “You didn’t do this, though,” Nain said.

  “And how many people would believe I was possessed or whatever the hell it is? Come on,” I said, getting up to pour more coffee for myself.

  I heard Nain huff out a breath in irritation. “Fine.”

  “But if this becomes a bigger problem, then we do things the demon’s way,” Hades said.

  “You just want to hurt someone,” I said to my father, and he nodded in agreement.

  “Of course I do. I’m the Lord of the Nether. And you’re my daughter, and despite your noble words you want the same thing.”

  “Well. We don’t always get what we want. There’ll be plenty of time for me to hurt people later.”

  It was then that there was a distinctive “crack” and my mother and Asclepias appeared near my back door. The dogs started barking. They were used to the imps. It was all of the immortals materializing out of nowhere that freaked them out now.

  I greeted the healer immortal, and he shook my hand warmly. He looked the same: flowing white beard and hair, pale blue robes, kind eyes.

  “Ah, Mollis. Pleasure to see you again my dear,” he said, taking my hand.

  “Thank you for coming.”

  “Your mother says you are having some issues. I saw the news reports. She showed them to me before we came over here.”

  I nodded. “It started in the Nether when I was dying and coming back, and it’s just gotten steadily worse since I’ve been back here. It seems to be affected by my moods, my energy level, my former boyfriend…”

  “The shifter?” Asclepias asked, and I felt a stab of irritation from Nain.

  “Yes. The one you healed for me.”

  “I remember it well,” he said, nodding. “Very odd that it would focus on a specific person.”

  “I know. And he’s the only one. On the other hand, it’s calmer when I’m around my parents, my aunt, Eunomia, Nain,” I said, gesturing at Nain, who was still sitting at the table, watching us.

  Asclepias studied him for a moment. “Demon. Very powerful one. Have you shared blood with him?”

  I nodded. “We were bonded, but then he died, and then I died, and our bond is dead,” I said, hating having to explain all of my personal things to a stranger.

  “Yet I can still feel you in him.”

  “And can you feel him in me?” I asked, curious. The healer god focused for a moment and nodded.

  “Yes.”

  “How?”

  He shrugged, smiled. “Your bond may be broken but it isn’t dead, my dear.”

  I felt satisfaction from Nain, resisted the urge to flip him the bird.

  “Getting back to the subject,” my mother said. I nodded in agreement.

  “Right, of course,” Asclepias said. “So you say this started in the Nether?”

  “Yes. I really started noticing it after I released all of you from my bonds,” I explained, and he nodded. “And it’s just gotten worse, stronger, since then.”

  “And has this happened before?”

  I shook my head. “I’ve had blackouts but my imps have said that all I’ve done during those periods was drive or walk around. This is the first time it’s been violent.”

  He watched me. Seemed uncomfortable. “I have to ask, my dear. Please don’t kill me. Are you sure this isn’t you?”

  I felt anger from Nain, my parents. I held my hand up, motioning for all of them to calm the hell down. “It’s not me,” I said, meeting his eyes.

  He nodded. “All right. Let’s see what we’re dealing with here. It’s best if you lie down and relax a little.”

  “I don’t know how to relax,” I told him, leading them into the living room. Asclepias laughed.

  “Well. Try your best then,” he said, still chuckling.

  I really hoped I wouldn’t have to kill him.

  I settled back onto the sofa. My parents stood at one end, near my feet. Nain crouched near the end where my head was, alert, already watching Asclepias for any sign of bullshit.

  “All right. Close your eyes. Try to relax. Try not to think, as impossible as that sounds. I’m going to try to sense for any energy signature within you.”

  “Wouldn’t any of the immortals have been able to do this?” I asked him, opening my eyes again.

  “No, dear. If there’s some kind of possession or something like that, it will be subtle. And you are a raging torrent of power. Very hard to decipher anything in you. It was quite difficult to feel your bond to the demon, here. Now please settle down.”

  I took a deep breath, closed my eyes again.

  Soon I felt a warmth pervading my body, my mind. Not like when Nain was in my head listening to me. Just a quiet, warm energy that I immediately recognized as that of the healer god. It went on for quite a while, and I did my best to stay still and calm. Being still in general wasn’t something I was good at and in these particular circumstances, it was even harder. I tried not to let myself feel the emotions of the other people in the room with me, but Nain’s worry and anger and my parents’ watchful concern still came through, no matter how hard I tried to block it out. I wanted to sense for Asclepias, see if I could get any indication that he’d betray me, but I waited. I could sense for that after he did his thing.

  Finally I felt the warmth recede. It felt like an eternity.

  “All right, Mollis,” Asclepias said, and I opened my eyes and sat up. Nain sat beside me, still keeping his eyes on Asclepias.

  “So?” Nain asked. I watched Asclepias. He looked visibly shaken. His forehead was furrowed, and his eyes had a sadness in them that caused my stomach to sink in dread.

  “What did you say happened when you resurrected, Mollis?” Asclepias asked me.

  “Which time?”

  “They buried you, yes?”

  “Yes. And then the Nether kind of bonded with me. It saved me.”

  He sat back on his heels, deflated.

  “What?” I asked him softly.

  “The Nether did more than bond with you. The Nether inserted itself into your very being. You are currently sharing a mind, a body, a soul, with the Nether itself.”

  “That makes no sense,” I said, even as I thought “oh, shit.” “Why is it getting worse, then?”

  “Without knowing for sure, all I have are theories. But I’d bet that this is what happened.” He paused, took a breath. “The Nether took up residence within you, giving you enough of its power to escape your grave. Just a bit of it, just enough to ow
n a piece of you.”

  “Enough to try to keep her in the Nether?” my father asked.

  Asclepias nodded, slowly. “That would make sense. Yes. Did it fight you when you left?”

  I nodded.

  “Okay. So it probably wasn’t happy when you did that.”

  “To say the least,” I said, agreeing. “But why is it worse now?”

  “When you bonded all of us, it caused damage to you.”

  “Told you,” Hades said.

  “What?” Nain asked, and I glanced over at him.

  “I’ll explain later.”

  “Yes, you will,” he said, anger, worry rolling off of him.

  “So when that damage occurred, it left a void in your soul. And with more space to grow, more of the Nether made its way into you, drawn by the parts that were already there. And then you got here, and you have a lot of the Nether in you, and it’s fighting you for control.”

  “She,” I said absentmindedly.

  “Pardon?” Asclepias asked.

  “The Nether is a she,” I said.

  The immortals all stared at me, waves of apprehension flowing over me. “You’re right. Nether is a ‘she,’” Asclepias said quietly. “It has been eons since I’ve felt her, alive, the way I can feel her now. But I wouldn’t mistake that presence for any other.” The healer god shook his head. “I met her once, shortly after I came into being. I must admit, I never even considered the possibility that I’d meet her again.”

  “Is this why the Nether, the realm, is weakening?” Hades asked, and Asclepias nodded.

  “I would say so. This explains quite a bit. As it grows in power in her, it weakens the realm. My guess is that once it gets total control of Mollis, the Nether will die completely.”

  “Oh, fuck,” my father said, plopping down into one of the chairs.

  “If that happens, Tartarus will fail. Everything will be overrun by the monsters within it,” Tisiphone said.

  “Oh, fuck,” I said, repeating my father’s words.

  “Can you think of a reason it’s focusing on your former mate, though?” Asclepias asked, watching me. “That part makes no sense to me.”

  I nodded. “I think maybe she’s jealous of him.”

  “Why?” Nain asked me.

  “I thought about him a lot when I was buried there, when it bonded with me. And he was the thing I thought about the most, especially when things got bad. He was my primary motivation in coming home. So maybe it blames him for me breaking my oath to it, even though I never promised to stay. It decided that part for me.”

  I expected Nain to be irritated, angry, even, over hearing about Brennan. Instead, he reached over and took my hand. There was an undercurrent of anger, jealousy, but it was background. Worry was his primary emotion just then.

  I looked at Asclepias again. “Is that why it hurts to use my powers?” Didn’t want him to know this, in case he used it against me. But I had to know.

  “Likely, yes. It, she, is punishing you, perhaps. You say it’s worse when you’re under stress?”

  I nodded. “Can we do anything about it?”

  “I have some ideas. But none of them are easy, I’m afraid.”

  “Nothing ever is,” I said.

  We sat back around the kitchen table, Asclepias and my mother preparing cups of tea as Nain poured fresh coffee for me, my father, and himself. Cozy.

  Once we were all settled, I glanced toward Asclepias. Nain was sitting beside me, my parents across from us. Like one crazy little demonic family. And then Asclepias was seated at one of the ends of the rectangular table.

  “So, you think I can keep this thing under control?” I asked the healer.

  He took a sip of tea. “It won’t be easy. Especially knowing what I know of you, my dear.”

  “Meaning?”

  “You’re not the calmest being I’ve ever met,” he said, his voice very purposely mild.

  I sensed humor from Nain beside me, kicked him in the ankle.

  “What does that have to do with it?” I asked Asclepias.

  “You say the Nether seems to get stronger when your emotions are stronger.”

  I nodded. “She gets more restless, for sure. It’s harder to fight her down, keep her under control.”

  “Well, I’d begin there, then. You need to dampen your emotions. Is it all emotions she seems affected by?” he asked me.

  I thought. I knew she was affected by my anger, stress, sadness. Happiness. I nodded, slowly. “Yeah. Pretty much any strong emotion.”

  “Well, that makes it even more difficult. I was hoping I could just recommend that you try not to get angry.”

  Nain and my father each started to talk and I glared at them. “Cram it.”

  They exchanged a look.

  “Pardon?” Asclepias asked.

  “They were about to tell you that it’s not possible for me to avoid being angry.”

  Asclepias smiled. “Well, you’ll have to learn to control yourself, my dear. Your emotions strengthen that thing inside of you. And you saw last night what can happen. May I ask if you were around your former, ah, mate, before it happened?” he asked, uncomfortable, trying to frame it delicately, with the obviously possessive demon sitting next to me.

  “Yes, but it wasn’t just that. Yesterday in general was pretty stressful, and then I fell asleep. I’ve noticed she manages to take control when I’m sleeping, so I’ve been doing without sleep. I failed in that last night,” I finished, irritated with myself. Nain bumped my knee with his under the table, reassuring.

  Asclepias nodded. “I can teach you some meditative exercises. I know, in your position, that it will be difficult. But you need to do this, Mollis. A lot of it is just focus. You will need to keep an iron-like hold on your emotions.”

  “For how long?”

  He looked like he wanted to be just about anywhere but in my kitchen just then.

  “Forever?” he said, looking like he wanted to run. Everyone around the table stared at him, and he raised his hands. “This being, Nether, is obviously angry. Unstable. Vicious? Yes?” he said, and I nodded. I had her inside of me, and there was no doubt about what she was. “All right. And the only thing keeping her under control right now, is you,” he said, looking directly at me.

  “So I just have to live with this thing?”

  “Can’t we get her out of Molly?” Nain asked.

  Asclepias took a breath. “And release her to where, exactly? Set her free in your world?”

  “Wouldn’t she just go back to where she came from? Be the Nether again?” Nain asked, and I shook my head.

  “She’s had a taste of freedom now. There’s not a chance in hell she’s going back,” I said, knowing it was true.

  “And here’s where it gets worse,” Asclepias said, and my father glared at him. “You called me, Hades. Do you want to know everything or not?” Asclepias shot at my father, and Hades nodded, gestured his apology.

  “How does it get worse?” I asked.

  “That thing knows everything you know. It shares soul space with you, and a lot of it. Chances are, should it ever find itself free, it would be able to do what you do. Everything you can do,” he said, emphasizing the “everything” part.

  “Oh no,” Tisiphone said.

  “So it could destroy the immortals?” I asked quietly, and Asclepias nodded. “So I have to keep it in me. I’m stuck with this now?”

  “What if Molly died?” Nain asked, and I knew from his emotions that he hated to even ask the question. “Would that destroy this thing, or send it back to where it’s supposed to be, or what?”

  Asclepias shook his head. “That would be the worst thing in the world.”

  I looked at my mother questioningly. “Remember how we said that the spirit daemons like Strife and Terror are basically avatars? That they don’t die, really, that they’ll just come back again?”

  I nodded, dread knotting my stomach.

  “I have the bad feeling he’s saying Nether wo
uld be the same thing,” she said, and I looked at Asclepias.

  “Is that what you’re saying?”

  “My gut tells me, little Fury, that you are the only thing standing between that thing, that angry, malicious being inside you, and everything else. Should you die, she will be free. And she will know what you know, and she can do what you do. But she has none of your nobility, none of your humanity. If she gets free, you and everything you love will suffer.”

  I rested my head in my hands. “Who created the Nether? And don’t tell me you don't fucking know. There has to be a story, a myth, something you can give me,” I said, keeping my head in my hands.

  “Emotions, Mollis,” Asclepias said gently, and I took a deep breath, tried to make myself calm down. Nain put his hand on my back, rubbed up and down my spine. I didn’t know if it was the comfort of his touch, or having another creature of the Nether touching me, but I was able to draw my stress and anger down, just enough to dampen its rage.

  “From the myths we know, the Nether was created by Nyx, who created the Furies, the Fates, and several spirit daemons, including Strife.”

  “So, what? My grandma created the Nether? How?”

  Discomfort from every immortal at the table.

  “Spill it. Now,” I growled. Nain kept his hand on my back.

  “The story is that Nyx was born of chaos, that she is darkness. And she came into being, and created many of us. And there were two very powerful spirit daemons who became a danger to all that Nyx had created. So her final act, before falling into an everlasting sleep, was to create the Aether and the Nether, which were created with the power of the two powerful beings. Nether, she was punishing. Aether was Nyx’s son, and Nether nearly killed him. Nyx turned him into the realm of the Aether as her last bid at keeping him alive. Their power powers the realms. And the realm Nether became was her prison.”

  “Except that now, I’m Nether’s prison. That’s what you’re telling me.”

  Tisiphone nodded.

  “And she probably kinda hates my grandma,” I said, burying my face in my hands again.

  “Damn you people are a mess,” Nain said. “So she’s supposed to just do this? Serve as a living prison for this thing inside her that’s making her crazy and hurting her? And she’s supposed to do this forever?”