Strife: Hidden Book Four Read online

  “I am so sorry I hurt you, Bren. I never wanted to,” I said.

  He faced me, took my hands in his, and the feel of his warm skin against mine did it. I lost it, started crying. The finality of it all hit me, and I couldn’t hold it back any more.

  “Don’t do that,” he said. “You know I hate seeing you upset.”

  I laughed a little, tried to calm down.

  We sat there, our hands clasped. The thing inside me raged, and I hated it a little more.

  “You are an amazing, brave, giving woman. And the fact that you loved me isn’t something I take lightly. It’s impossible for me not to love you. I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I am here. I will always be here, and if you ever need me, I’ll come. But this part of our life together is over. Isn’t it?”

  I nodded, even as my heart broke. It had been over for a long time, and part of the reason I’d avoided him, aside from the thing inside me, was because I didn’t want to deal with that. But that was selfish, too. He needed to move on, and he couldn’t if he still thought I was hanging on to him.

  I squeezed his hands. “You’re the best, Bren. Thank you for being mine, even for a little while,” I said and the tears started flowing again.

  “Oh, hell,” he said. He let got of my hands and pulled me into his arms, and we held each other for a few minutes. I breathed him in, knowing this was the end.

  “You should go,” I said after a few minutes, pulling away from him. “I need some time here.”

  He cupped my face in his hands and kissed my forehead. “Take care of yourself,” he murmured before he pulled away.

  “You too.”

  And then I watched as he got into his car and drove away. I sat on the porch for a long time afterward, thinking. I was sad, but I was relieved, too. We didn’t hate each other. I wasn’t naive. Things would be awkward for a while. Someday, maybe we’d get to a comfortable place again.

  Eventually I got up and went inside. I locked up and went up to my room after calling good night to Bash and Dahael, who were watching some classic Bugs Bunny cartoon. Once I got there, I didn’t even bother showering or changing. I fell onto my bed and stared at the celling, wondering what I could possibly mess up next.

  Chapter Four

  Everything was darkness and emptiness. Silence and cold. There was not a thing here worth saving.

  Certainly, nothing worth breaking an oath for.

  This city was a glorified trash heap, and the people in it no better, deserving of the place they called home.

  I rise over the city. Block after block of emptiness, the stench of exhaust and fast food filling the air. I watch as Detroit’s East Side disappears beneath me. I am flying so fast everything is a blur, places I know and love almost unrecognizable from this height and speed. I see it all through a haze and it leaves me feeling both confused and nauseous. I am afraid, and I don’t know why.

  I stop still in the air, and through the haze, I see a neighborhood not unlike my own: mostly empty, except for a sad looking house or two. It is off of a busier street, and storefronts line that, mostly abandoned as well. I feel myself hurtling toward it, feel disdain, disgust. Not my own. The darkness has made its opinion known, and it has nothing but hatred for the city I call home.

  I know I’m dreaming. I know I’m seeing my home through its eyes, and that it doesn’t see things the same way I do. It’s choosing to show me how it sees things. And the way it sees things is terrifying. It wants to lay waste to everything it sees. It knows that, to the west, there’s a building in which the people I care about reside, where the two men who have been everything to me at one time or another, lie sleeping. Maybe another day, it thought, taunting me as I watched, unable to do a single thing as I was forced to follow, flying over the neighborhood, looking down on it.

  The thing was thinking that this was as good a place to start as any. And it laughed, and I watched my hands extend in front of me and shoot flames, and I heard it laugh as the storefronts exploded, as fire engulfed the contents inside a small resale shop.

  And it laughed and threw more flames, and flew in closer to examine her work; satisfaction, glee rolling off of her. I could smell the smoke. I could hear the flames crackling, the buildings creaking as their structure started to fail.

  This, little Fury, is only the beginning. And then it ended, as if a curtain fell, and I was plunged into darkness again.

  Chapter Five

  A loud pounding noise startled me awake, and I sat up, staring around, trying to get my bearings.

  “Molly,” a deep voice said outside my room.

  I groaned. What the hell was he doing here?

  “What?” I said, and the bedroom door opened. Nain stalked through, stared down at me. Now I was really glad I’d slept in my clothes. A barrage of emotions washed over me from him, but the most prominent was fear, and that was enough to make me want to puke. Nain was never afraid. Ever. The only time he had been was when he was sure I was nothing more than a normal demon and I’d die at Astaroth’s hands. His sapphire eyes flicked over me.

  “What’s going on?” I asked. And then something terrible occurred to me. “Oh, god. Everyone’s okay aren’t they?”

  He met my eyes. “Yeah. Everyone’s fine. They’re here.”

  “Why?” I asked, focusing. I could sense them. Everyone, for sure. Levitt, Heph, E, Ada, Stone, my parents. Brennan and Sean.

  Fuck.

  “What’s going on, Nain?” I asked, and I could hear the tremor in my own voice.

  “Did you go out last night?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “I got home from my meeting with the vampire queen around midnight. Why?”

  He looked uncertain. Angry. Worried.

  “Nain?”

  “Come downstairs, Molls.”

  “Tell me.”

  He shook his head. “Just come.” He took my hand, pulled me up out of bed and led me downstairs.

  My living room was packed, and everyone was staring at the television. Well, they were until I stepped into the room, then everyone turned to stare at me.

  “What the hell is…” I said, trailing off as I glanced toward the television. I was vaguely aware of Nain’s hand on my back, drawing me closer to the television so I could see better. I didn't want to.

  It was on channel seven. They’d broken into whatever they’d been broadcasting. Jumpy, dark video. Fire.

  And a winged, flying figure, cackling and throwing fire into storefronts along Hayes. I’d recognize the wings, the skinny, scrawny frame anywhere.

  I saw them every time I looked in the mirror.

  I put my hands over my face, stared at the television as the video showed her, me, throw another fire blast into a storefront, and the building erupted in flames, and I/she laughed.

  “Oh god,” I said, felt my knees buckle, and then Nain was there, catching me, holding me up. I couldn’t stop staring at the screen. They played the video again, and I listened as the very obviously shaken female newscaster spoke.

  “For those of you just joining us, we’ve obtained this amateur video from the site of the fires we reported along Hayes earlier this morning. I… I don’t know how to explain what I’m seeing. I’ve watched it almost a dozen times now, and I can’t make myself believe this. We’ve verified that this was raw video, shot directly from the phone of a passer-by as this happened. It appears to be a winged woman…” She trailed off, and the rest of the video played out in silence.

  Nain’s arm was still around me, hand on my waist, holding me up and comforting me at the same time. I stared as the video started again. They had Jones on the line, and he said he was as confused as everyone else, and that the Detroit Police Department was looking into it. We watched the video as they looped it again, now talking about whether it was staged or not. The consensus seemed to be: how?

  Then there was a knock at my front door, and Ada went to answer it. Jones and Jamie walked in, and he was staring at me.

  “What the hel
l, Angel?” he said. “Tell me you have an evil doppelganger out there. Give me something.”

  I didn’t answer, stared at the screen again. I heard Nain give him a very general explanation: something had happened to me in the Nether, and I’d had what seemed like a malicious spirit or something inside me now since I’d come home. That I’d been fighting it for control. That this was what happened when it won.

  E came up to me, took my hand.

  “And what am I supposed to do with that? Is it going to take control again?”

  “I hope not,” I said, finally looking at him. Didn’t know what else to tell him. Heard from his frenzied, frightened, angry thoughts that he was considering arresting me. And if I heard it, Nain heard it, too.

  “You do that, and we are going to have a big fucking problem with one another. You don't want me for an enemy,” Nain told him, and when I glanced up at him, his eyes were glowing red.

  Time to maybe make it clear what he was dealing with. “Even if you could arrest me, you saw what happened at the jail when I got you and Nain out. There’s not a cell in existence that can hold me,” I told him. He stared at me, and I felt fear. He seemed deflated. “And here’s another thing. You can’t kill me. Nothing can kill me. Someone might be lucky enough to get a killing shot in. I’ll come back. Over and over and over again. I’ve done it already.”

  He was staring at me. His daughter was watching me with a mix of fear and awe on her face. Nain still stood beside me, large hand on my waist. I pushed his hand away, though I hated to admit that I felt better with it there.

  “Was anybody hurt?” I asked Jones.

  He shook his head. “Most of those storefronts were abandoned. DFD got the fire out quick enough.”

  “Why would it do that?” Ada asked, watching me with concern, as if the thing inside would take control at any moment and kill them all.

  I shrugged. “I think maybe it was trying to make a point,” I said.

  “Which was?” Jones asked.

  “That when it gains control, I won’t even know it’s happening. And that it can do pretty much whatever it wants.”

  Fear rolled over me, from just about everyone in the room. Except Nain, who was just pissed off. Soon, everyone was talking, in small groups, stealing occasional glimpses at the television, which was still playing the video. Brennan got up from the chair he was sitting in, handed Sean to Ada. He approached me, and Nain stepped away.

  “I have to get him home. It’ll be okay,” he said, reaching over and hugging me gently. I hugged him back. “Is that my fault? Did I do that?” he whispered close to my ear.

  “No. I was tired and stressed out. It’s my fault,” I said.

  He watched me for a second. “It’ll be okay,” he repeated. “I’ll see you around, okay?”

  I nodded then stood there trying to wrap my brain around what was happening. It was overwhelming, terrifying. I had to get away from all of these people. So many emotions pressing on me was about the last thing I needed just then. Everyone walking on eggshells as if I’d lose control at any second was just the icing on the cake. I left the room without another word and walked through the kitchen and out the back door.

  I went into my backyard, started pacing back and forth, trying to quiet the darkness inside me, trying to stop the way I felt wrong in my own skin, trying to stop hating the fact that I existed at all. Cursed the fact that I would be alive forever, and I’d have to keep dealing with shit like this.

  I kept pacing. It was one of those things. I'd always had a lot of nervous energy. Pacing wasn't uncommon. But now, being back and having whatever this was inside me messing with me, I found myself doing it more, almost unable to stop once I got started. And when I was stressed out, which was more and more common, I got into this almost unstoppable pacing pattern, as if my body couldn’t handle the insanity happening inside it, needed some way to try to let off some steam.

  I heard cars pull out of the driveway. I focused for a moment, realized that the only ones left were Nain and my parents. I heard the back door open, and glanced that way to see Nain and my parents standing on the back porch, watching me as I paced between my garage and the end of my yard.

  I knew how insane it looked. A lot of the time, it helped me get under control. I had enough power flowing through me just then that I could have destroyed just about anything. And that was the problem. I didn't want to go out when I was like this. Too much danger of losing control, of an innocent getting hurt if I couldn’t hold it together.

  I was full, nearly overflowing with power. It had grown steadily since I’d seen myself on television, fed by my anger, my fear, my pain. I was so full, it hurt. I clenched my teeth, glanced around for something to let it out on, away from everyone. Nain and my parents continued to watch me.

  There was a large Norway maple across the street, and I focused on it, snarled and unleashed the overflow of power. It hit the tree full blast, and the tree gave a loud, sickening screech as it split, fell over. It landed in the empty lot, one of several.

  It hurt to have the power, it hurt just as much to release it. I bent double, trying to get my breath, trying to wait the pain out. Nain walked over to me, crouched in front of me. He stayed, watching me as it felt like I was being ripped apart from the inside. I looked up and met his eyes.

  “That tree was a fucking asshole. It had it coming,” he said, very seriously, and I couldn't help it. I laughed, just a little, shoving him away from me as I stood up. I heard my parents walk back into the house, closing the back door behind them, leaving Nain and me alone in the yard. I stepped away from him, holding my head, trying to massage away the headache. Trade one pain for another. Kind of the story of my life.

  I headed toward the back porch and plopped down on one of the steps. Nain sat next to me, and I felt a mixture of relief and irritation that he was staying.

  “Do you need anything?”

  I shook my head, stared down at my feet as I willed the pain to stop.

  “Did you have any idea that was happening last night?” Voice a low rumble, rage flowing from him.

  I took a deep breath. “No. I had a nightmare, like I was flying through the city, seeing everything through the darkness, watching it set fire to shit. Maybe it was making me watch. I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head.

  “What do you think set it off?” he asked. “Was it that shit with Brennan the other day?”

  I shook my head. “It wasn’t just that,” I said. “It was everything. Everything we went over with Jones yesterday, meeting with the vamp queen, who refuses to join us, by the way. Brennan, you, the stress of never being alone. Just… everything. I’m exhausted,” I said, and I hated the weakness in my voice. Waved it away. “Not that it matters.”

  “It matters,” he said. “We need to find a way to fix this. You can’t keep going on this way.”

  The back door opened, and we both turned and watched my parents walk through. “We may have an idea,” Tisiphone said.

  Chapter Six

  “What?” I asked, standing up. Nain stood up as well, stayed beside me.

  “We think you should have Asclepias look at you,” Hades said.

  “No. Not a chance in hell,” I said, kicking at the edge of the bottom step.

  “Who’s Asclepias?” Nain asked.

  “Healer god,” Hades said. “One who joined our side during the war and also came and healed the shifters from the plague sent by the Nosoi.”

  “An Aether healer immortal,” I said, emphasizing the “Aether” part and looking at Nain.

  He got it, nodded once and crossed his arms over his chest. He had about as high of an opinion of the immortals as I did, after seeing more than a little of what they’d done to me when I’d opened my mind to him.

  “An Aether god who doesn’t care at all for politics, Mollis,” Tisiphone chided, and I almost laughed, hearing her mom voice.

  “Yeah? So he says. Everyone has a price. Everyone has a point at which they decide so
meone isn’t worth saving. Not a chance in hell am I letting any of them know what’s going on with me.”

  “Did you see yourself on television today? It’s kind of obvious something’s wrong with you,” Hades said, glaring at me. “Do you really think none of them saw it? Aphrodite is in town trying to see Hephaestus. Apollo is around too, because his sister is here. Trust me: they know.”

  “But they don’t know that whole story and I’m sure the hell not letting them learn more than they already know,” I said, glaring right back at my father. “Are you nuts? Why in the hell would you trust any of them, ever? Especially knowing what I am and what I can do to them?”

  I glanced at my mother, who was looking like she was ready to beg me, then glanced back at my father and Nain just in time to see them exchanging a look.

  “Molls. Just let the fucking healer god look at you,” Nain said after a few moments.

  “Did he tell you to say that?” I demanded.

  He gave me one of his typical Nain glares. “Have you ever known me to give a shit about what anyone tells me? I don’t care about what he wants,” he said. “But this is something you need. And if he betrays you, then you end him, because you can.”

  I felt the horror from both of my parents at his last statement. They both genuinely liked Asclepias. I did too. Didn’t mean I trusted him.

  “Do this thing. You can’t fix it until you know. And I’ll be here and I swear I’ll watch him, every second.”

  I met his eyes.

  Just do it, Molls. If he blabs about what’s happening with you, I’ll help you hunt his ass down. But this isn’t solving itself and if they think he can help, you should see what he says. Nain’s voice in my mind.

  I hate this, I thought at him.

  I know. But you know as well as I do that we have to figure this out to prevent it from happening again. It could have been a lot worse. Next time it might be.

  I watched him for a moment, looked away. “Fine,” I said, shaking my head. “Bring him here.”