Inbox Full of Crazy Read online

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  I'm a good guy.I'm looking for a honest good woman for a serious relationship.!very marriage minded loyal and funt ! ! !

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  I am cute Russian guy here for graduate degree

  I have no accent but I speak the language fluently!

  I work very hard!

  I want to spend time with a cute girl instead of hard work all the time!

  I like girls. All girls. I will meet you all. If you want to know why Russian girls all sing songs about Vladimir Putin I can teach you everything sexy about Russian guys.

  I am specially seeking a girl for marriage and family.

  If you think are interested in meeting me... let me know! I am worth it!

  Pity the Fool

  Gentlemen, I know reaching out to a woman is tough, but your first impression really is important. She doesn't know anything about you. This is your chance to shine.

  Be clever. Be witty. Be bold. Whatever you do, don't be pathetic. Describing yourself as unworthy is only effective on BDSM boards. Everywhere else, play up your strengths. Give someone a positive reason to want to date you instead of hoping you can guilt them into a miserable evening. You might be pleasantly impressed by the difference.

  Think about it. Would you really want to date a woman who you guilted into coffee?

  These guys didn't get a date. Heck, they didn't even get a reply. They just made me sad. Live and learn, gentlemen. Don't be That Guy.

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  Lol your funny…..So, how you doing Ms Lady? Reading what you wrote makes me feel like I’m just setting myself up for failure if that the kind of responses you’re accustomed too. I work as an accountant and my nights are either filled watching sports or tired from working all day doing taxes. But yea some night I get bad intentions, guess that’s life. Well, hit me back if I didn’t scare you away with all my sexy talk lol period(.)

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  There is probably no way ever that i would be worthy of a woman such as you but if there is a way i could get to know you it would be a great honor for me to know someone as cool as you. I am not bad but I'll leave it up to you... Write me please if you could

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  I have'nt been to school in a long time . It is really hard for me to start a conversation. I have pics on Yahoo at [id removed.]

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  Hello there. I have recently turned 41. I am a white male that has not accomplished anything in life and would like to have someone in my life to guide me through the journey.

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  Good morning! I hope you are well this morning. I saw your profile, and I was wondering if you might be interested in getting to know me. My name is John. I ask that you take some time out of your day and check my profile then let me know what you think. I am a better man than I look. Thank you for your Time.

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  This is the message you shouldn't filter out! Because we are obviously kindred souls on at least some level, and you need to learn more about me before discounting me altogether. Besides, I need more time to distinguish between a plan for world domination and a list of things I'd do if I ruled the world.

  Seriously, though, I have just read through your profile and journal articles and photos and questions and more, and I'm still not afraid to write you though you may not find me worthy. I can name a number of local restaurants worth visiting, and a first date at any of them sounds like a good start to a great adventure starring each of us!

  So please, spend some time with my profile and think of questions you'd like to ask me. What would you like to know first? I hope you will find me worthy.

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  I'm not bad looking I'm not amazing looking either, average is a good word, while at the same time I don't really care to waste time with going to the bar or playing games with co-workers and friends. I just want to meet someone here on the same intellectual level with this particular ordeal. As for me I don't crave much except for the warmth and fun with a member of the opposite sex. As for me, I'm stalky/muscular with short hair and a beard. I wouldn't mind trading pictures as long as you send me more to prove you're real (can never be too sure). Well if this is something you're interested in I encourage you to reply and find me worthwhile.

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  Hello,

  first allow me to tell you how i spent the 15th. Working. Working was the only way to get my mind off of being alone. Of course there in lies the problem. I hate being alone, but i can't stand the dating sceen either. I have been with 3 women women in my life and in my eyes thats two to many. I have not been seeing anyone in over 2 years and from what I see in the world am not excited to look. I am an old fashioned man who adores history,

  At one time I wanted to be a history teacher, but found I was better at business. I am a consultant currently under contract. I stay busy. I am a hopeless romantic, as in IT IS HOPELESS!, or atleast I am begining to think so.

  I was in the military as a soldier, and i am niether proud of my time served nor am I ashamed. I have been a brother to those in need, a friend to unfriendly people. a coach to those who needed guidience, and Man to the women I have loved. My grandma calls me sugar, so I guess that makes me sweet, and my parents call me son, so in my eyes that means I am bright enough. even though i still have a thrist for knowlege.

  I would love to talk with you. Thanks for your time

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  Whats up =) My name is John and I was reading you're profile and just wanted to say hello. So yes its me Dr. Kinky, I know you dont know me, but if nothing else I can be a good friend. Honestly, I dont have any problems finding women...its just finding the "right" one that is the problem. I'm not a pimp or player LOL! I dont have it in me I promise you that. Really, I'm looking for friendship and hopefully later down the road it turns into something. There is so much to me..and I'm somewhat deep, but I know I'm a catch. I'm good looking, athletic, smart, funny, but I'm not cocky. I'm confident but I'm not a prick. Also, I'm real... Anyways, I hope to talk to you soon.

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  Hello. I saw your profile and wanted to say that.

  Obviously, you say. 10 points to you. (I almost misspelled that as "pints", which depending on your view may be just as good or better.)

  Trite as it may sound, you blow me away with what you have to say. You sound like a really cool, fun person to know. I may not be worthy

  Not to engage in horn-tooting, but I can hold my own in trivia. Not sports trivia, but history, music, technology bits and pieces...

  Personally, I find your plans intriguing. I also confess to a weakness for a woman in boots...

  Thank you for reading this message to the end and I hope I passed the audition.

  Persistent Polyamorists

  I get a lot of messages from poly men. Some of them are open, some of them are “discrete,” some of them want to lecture me at great length. All of them ignore the fact that I explicitly state in my dating profiles that I am NOT interested in a poly relationship.

  This kind of onslaught is exactly the kind of thing that gives poly relationships a bad reputation. Well, that and the fact that of the countless poly units I’ve seen over the years I can only think of two which were happy and successful for more than three years. While I do know (exactly two) long term successful poly units, I've met countless unhappy couples who thought a third person would miraculously fix the problems in their relationship. These situations inevitably end badly for everyone. I'm not interested.

  If a woman says the fact that you’re dating or married to someone else is a deal breaker, respect it and leave her alone. You won't change her mind by harassing her. Seriously. Cut it out. You may think you're proselytizing, but if she's already said she's not interested in that kind of relationship, persisting in trying to convince her of the moral superiority of your lifestyle makes you a scary creep.

  Even if I was interested in the poly lifestyle, I'm deeply repelled by assumptions poly guys make about me. They don't see any need to seduce me. See, the kind of woman they're a
ttracted to is too old, too fat, and too insecure to find a man of her own, and they're not afraid to tell her so up front. Every time I get an unwanted message from a poly guy I reevaluate my photos, wondering what about them screams, "victim." These guys also assume that, since you're too old, fat, and ugly to find a husband, you have no problem hooking up with a guy 20-30 years your senior just for the sake of the attention. Seriously, guys, I have a vibrator, friends, and an open offer for adult funtimes from two exes. I don't need you.

  If you're not familiar with the concept, polyamory is a pretty nice theory that, in my personal experience, very rarely works in practice. People think polyamory (literally loving more than one person at once) means a sextastic free for all. Since polyamory done right is all about being open and honest with your assorted partners instead of sneaking around behind anyone's back, the reality is less sex than you'd think and a whole lot of math. If you carry three day planners and obsess over how to categorize every fifteen minute block of your time, polyamory is a great lifestyle choice. If you just want someone to curl up on the couch with while watching Doctor Who, poly is all about negotiating who gets to sit where on the couch, what show you're going to watch, and whose turn it is to curl up in who's lap. By the time you're done with the charts the episode is over.

  Nearly all poly couples are looking for the Great Bisexual Unicorn. Surely, somewhere out there, is a dream woman who has her own healthy circle of friends, her own income, and her own home. She doesn't need to be the center of attention, is totally supportive of both of you without having any emotional needs of her own, will cheerfully fuck both of you individually or at the same time on the schedule of your choosing, doesn't mind always playing second fiddle to both members of the couple, isn't interested in kids or ever enjoying the sort of lifetime commitment you share with one another, loves all the things both of you enjoy, and for some reason is not only single but totally attracted to the two of you. Oh, also height/weight proportionate, big tits, under 30, and owns her own lingerie and sex toys.

  Take a hard look at your dating profiles. If my description of the Great Bisexual Unicorn sounded painfully familiar, you need to face facts. You're not looking for a partner. You're looking for a prostitute. Go hire one. She'll dress how you want, come over on your schedule, leave when you're done with her, and always have a perfect disposition. If you're willing to pay extra she'll even watch movies and play videogames with the two of you. Anything else is a totally unrealistic set of expectations. After all, go look at yourselves in the mirror. Kick all the crap off the floor first so you can get a good head to toe view. If you were the Great Bisexual Unicorn, would you date the two of you?

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  I know you said no poly people but you haven’t met me and my wife. We love your profile! You are smart, funny, witty, geeky,and love to cook! You really are the girlfriend of our dreams. Please make an exception for us. Let us take you to dinner and get to know you. You won’t regret it!

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  I love my wife I love my children. We don’t have sex anymore so I date. I will not leave them for anyone. You are a pretty girl who looks like lots of fun. We can have fun together. I am ok with calling you my girlfriend in public and at your work. It is called poly and it is better than cheating.

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  This prolly won’t get thru to you because of your message filter, but you should read it. You’re a beautiful woman who is cutting herself off from beautiful relationships by saying no to the polyamorous lifestyle. Read Sex at Dawn. Monogamy isn’t natural and it can’t make you happy. Your profile looks like the kind of woman who loves adventure. A woman like you can’t be tied down to one man. You need many lovers to keep you happy. One man can not keep up with a woman your age sexually. Men are sexually attracted to younger women. You can not compete with a fertile 25 year old. You see how this equals unhappiness? Do not doom yourself to be alone forever when polyamory is how to find the love you need.

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  So I've been debating on a big trip and trying to decide on a direction. I didn't read a single thing on your profile that wasn't intriguing. So say I wind up out that way, how interested would you be in helping me find something to get into? My wife is online at [name redacted]. She thinks you’d be a great story for me to tell back home and a great time while I’m on the road.

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  I'm not sure what to say other than I liked your profile and the way you express yourself ! If I'm not to old or to married lets talk!

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  I have a beard and chest hair and a wife. 2 of 3 is good. I have a love for life and a love for woman. I wnat to share them with you. Your pic is very sexy. You said no married men. I’m poly. My wife knows. She read your profile. She says you look like a nice girl.

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  I'm intrigued by ur written word and the manner in which u present it to the world...tall, bearded, turned on by ur thoughts n ur mind. Discrete poly...but my wife knows I date...ur someone special 2 me

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  hallo Let me tell you somethings very important i see picture is very nice and attractive me so mush and let me write to you even lot of different but the true .True Happiness is something we all desire , we all want to experience and enjoy True Happiness is no one man one woman forever but much love for all i see you and know you want my love

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  Sure you won’t talk? Hey! I know I've messaged you a couple of times.. thought I would try yet again because every time I read your profile I find something else I'm pretty sure we have in common. My wife says I’m a great catch.

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  Don't do this to yourself, girl. You say you'll date men 10 years younger or 10 years older but truth is after 30 no yoiunger man wants you and no man your age wants you. Face facts and look at men 50++. I'm married, poly, clean, discrete, can show you the love you won't find wasting your time on younger men.

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  I am clean and sober,searching for someone who is the same,enjoy fine food, theater,ballet,concerts,horseback riding on the beach and tropical climates.I yearn for intellectual stimulation while at the same time I am passionate,loyal and nuturing. I am in an open relationship with a beautiful,goddess,kind,warm,loving woman who wants more joy in both our lives.

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  Hey sexy rock star!!! Why u don’t write me back? Im who your looking for......tall......beard......chest hair.........ded sexxxy! I like 2 read and talk and rock your night. im here and waiting!!! Why no love? Is it bcause my job...... dno’t judge or u will be judged. Is it i’m married? she has boyfriends. is it my food bcause i cant eat spicy or it comes right back out ha ha no fun!!! Stop looking cause im here 4u.

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  Your profile is full of win! Geekiness is so sexy. I guess it's because it goes with smart. You'll have to let me know when that zombie crawl comes around. We supposedly have one where I live, but I never get notified about it. Speaking of which, if you're ever going to pass through my area, let me know. I'll tell you all the good local joints I know. My wife thinks we’d have a great time. If you lived in town she says you two would be best friends.

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  OK......How about this: I'm married, but I need a good woman and my wife says I need a vacation. I'll send you a paid for, round trip airline ticket to Cancun. You fly from Louisville and I'll fly from Nashville and we'll meet at the bar at the Cancun airport. If we can't stand each other, we stay there and drink until we can get you on the next flight home. If it looks like we could stand to be with each other for a week.....we rent a car and drive South.....down the coast and hit all the small, seaside towns, villages and beaches.....stopping where ever we see something cool or interesting.......hitting all the beach bars and getting a good sun burn along the way......

  I don't know about you....but I'm ready for some fucking sun, warm caribbean waters and some sand between my toes.........sounds like a great first date to me......you can tell your kids about it someday...although they probably won't believe you......

 
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  I’m Good for you! Awesome profile and have some fun!!!! Relationships screw everything up lol Always be yourself!! Find a good guy friend. Find five! Scorpio huh? Very sexy lol u can’t be contained. How many boyfriends you have girl? You need one more!!!!! Lets Have Fun!!!!!!

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  HIYA!

  You are absolutely GORGEOUS!

  Friend me on FB. I wanna see more pics! My wife says you’re my dream girlfriend. I think she’s right. You’ll get along great.

  I’m open, poly, and honest. I always pick girlfriends who end up better friends with my wife than with me. We’re a power couple package. You say you don’t want to date poly, but dating me is like dating a single male who happens to come with a best friend with benefits. It’s worth it. The wife and I can explain more about how poly works. You’ve probably met some poly assholes who gave the lifestyle a bad impression. It’s not like that.

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  hi, loved your ad.

  just curious if you've ever thought about meeting a couple

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  Stop rejecting polyamory! It is the only way a woman like you can be happy! I read your profile and I can tell you are full of yourself and full of life and full of too much for one man to handle. You made mistakes!!. You didn't marry when you were young and fertile because you wanted to see the world. I understand. Now you are old and lonely and want a family. You will not have one at your age! You do not have to die alone. Polyamory is the answer. You can have many healthy relationships with many men. I want to be the first. I can introduce you to how polyamory works and introduce you to many other polyamorous people. Stop denying yourself what you deserve!!! It is all you have left!!!!!