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  Jack carried Kate into the bathroom. No window, no other door. When he put her down, she curled into a ball. He kicked her and sniggered. Using one of the ties, he fastened her wrists to the grab bar on the tub. Back in the main room, he turned on the TV and clicked up the volume in case she decided to scream.

  When he got back with the bags, Jack bolted the door, blocked it with an armchair and closed the drapes. Kate had her face pressed against the side of the tub, duct tape still in place. She’d ignored a second opportunity to remove it. Her eyes remained closed. Jack put her broken glasses next to the wash basin, then ripped off the duct tape. Still no response, so he kissed her. She opened her eyes and he laughed.

  “See, I’m your prince. I’ve woken Sleeping Beauty.” Jack stripped, dropping his clothes on the floor. She hadn’t spoken since he’d put her in the car that afternoon but if he wanted her to speak, she would. He turned on the shower and let the water cascade over him for several minutes before he unwrapped the bar of soap and began to wash. Jack ran his hands over his hard midsection and felt the ripple of muscle. He didn’t smoke, drank only in moderation and was reasonably careful about what he ate. He despised the fat slugs who paraded themselves on TV talk shows, looking for sympathy because they couldn’t stop stuffing their faces. There had been some obese monsters in Ashlands who blamed everyone but themselves for their size. He’d stuck pins in a few of them to see if they’d pop, been disappointed when they’d only squealed.

  Kate looked almost as pale as the tub. Water splashed her face and hair as Jack washed. A soak and something to eat and she’d feel better. He’d order a pizza, a cheese one especially for her. Jack reached for a towel. He shaved and brushed his hair before cutting Kate loose.

  “You look like shit. Get washed.”

  ***

  After he left the bathroom Kate exhaled. She pulled herself to her feet and staggered the two steps to the sink. When she caught sight of her face, she didn’t register it was her—a wide-eyed stranger covered in scratches and smudges of

  blood, hair a tangled mess. She felt a surge of anger with her hair, hated it because he liked it, despised it because he’d used it to catch her, control her. Kate reached inside her wash bag and pulled out a pair of small scissors she used for her nails. Within a couple of minutes, she stood on a brown furry island in a flat orange sea.

  “What the fuck are you doing?”

  Kate held the little scissors in front of her. One flick of his hand and they flew to the floor. She backed to the wall and pressed herself against the tiles. When he lifted his hand, she shied away. Jack twisted the short strands in his fingers and his mouth twitched.

  “You want it short, I’ll make it fucking short.” He started the water running in the tub, emptied two bottles of gel into the flow and took out his knife to finish what she’d started.

  Jack returned to the other room leaving Kate slumped against the wall. She wanted desperately to get in the tub but she’d be washing away evidence. Her mother said she should have told her what happened that night four years ago because they could have done something. But Kate knew her mother would have gone through a line of thought similar to hers and worried over what people would think. Only it wouldn’t have been Kate she was concerned about but herself. So Kate was as sure as she could be that once her mother had appreciated the consequences of calling the police, she’d have run Kate a bath and told her to get in it.

  No police were coming to save her. No point not washing. Kate struggled out of the blood-stained T-shirt. She ached. Every movement required deliberate thought and conscious effort. Her fingers touched the cut in her side where he’d stabbed her. It still oozed blood. She unzipped her skirt. Not all the blood was hers. Kate had to stop thinking about Charlie, otherwise the last bit of control would slip from her grasp.

  The water hurt her feet when she stepped in. Kate tried not to cry as she eased herself down. All her efforts to convince herself she’d done the right thing in keeping quiet four years ago seemed pathetic now. She’d switched schools, changed her name from Olivia to Kate and lost her freedom because her parents insisted on driving her everywhere. She’d thought she could make herself believe there’d been no rape. Papering over the crack. She hadn’t expected it to happen again. Was it really Jack who’d raped her?

  Kate wanted to be clean, lying on her bed, eating M&Ms and reading scary-but-oh-so-safe Stephen King. She clutched her knees to her chest, rested her head against the tiles and thought back four years, searching for something to confirm it was Jack. She’d not seen the face of her attacker. Kate had done what he asked because she’d been afraid he’d kill her. He’d told her to kiss him and she had. She asked him not to tell anyone because she thought it might stop him killing her, might make him believe she wouldn’t tell either. She intended to, but on the way home, she’d changed her mind.

  Jack would rape her again. She needed to face that. He’d rape her again, maybe when she got out of the tub. She couldn’t risk asking anyone else for help.

  Panic rose, filling her throat. He’d rape her again. Her heart pounded. She had to keep calm. Okay, she told herself. Think those few words more calmly. He will rape me again. There wasn’t much she could do about it. She’d had four years to consider what she might have done. Fighting was almost pointless. Outsmarting Jack was the only option. She was clever. She could think of a way out. Pretend to like him so he’d drop his guard? He wouldn’t believe her. Not yet.

  Kate washed her hair. A stupid mistake to cut it. If the police had her description, they were looking for someone with long hair. She’d never had her hair as short as this. Kate lay back and rinsed out most of the shampoo, then stood and turned on the shower, had the water as hot as she could stand. She still felt dirty.

  As she dried herself, Kate heard Jack speak and tensed thinking he was coming in but he was using the phone. The motel’s bleached-out towels were thin and small, but Kate managed to wrap one around her body to cover her breasts, though it barely reached the top of her thighs. She couldn’t put the skirt and Tshirt back on. She used them to sweep together the hair from the floor and stuffed the lot in the trash can.

  Kate wiped away the mist on the mirror and water trickled down the glass. It looked like her reflection was crying. She brushed what was left of her hair, wincing when she caught the bumps on her head and then cleaned her cracked glasses. Kate felt as though she was doing everything slowly, pushing her way through thick air, hardly breathing. When she turned, Jack stood at the door in black boxers. He tossed her a man’s shirt and turned away.

  Little point staying in the bathroom. He’d drag her out. He’d removed the floral bedspread, slung it over a chair and lay on the bed watching TV.

  “I’ve ordered pizza. Behave when it arrives.” The screen flickered as he changed channels. “Come here.”

  Kate sat on the edge of the bed.

  “Next to me.”

  She moved nearer. “Why should I believe it was you four years ago?” Kate hardly recognized her voice.

  “Why would I lie?”

  “Prove it.”

  “You don’t remember my rock hard cock?” He sniggered. “You missed the bus.

  I blindfolded you. Put my hand over your mouth. You never saw my face. You gave me a sweet kiss. Did you taste the beer, darlin’? It was a quick fuck. Guess I was a little over-excited. Like today. Don’t worry, it’ll get better.” Kate put her hands over her face. Guesses.

  “You came back for your violin.”

  She looked at him then. “You saw me go back?”

  “I knew you wouldn’t leave it.”

  Oh God, it was him. She’d been afraid her attacker would still be there but no one was around. The violin lay behind the bushes and you couldn’t tell anything bad had happened. No crack in the earth, no sign stuck in the ground saying

  ‘Stupid girl lost her virginity here’.

  Kate handled it by denial. Already quiet, she became quieter and her parents didn
’t even notice. She rarely went out. She adopted a particular posture and pace of walking that made her look insignificant. She stayed on the edge of things, tried not to be first or last. But the sickness started within days and carried on for months. A visit to the doctor confirmed Kate was seven months pregnant. No one could believe she’d hidden it so long. Her parents had been distraught, but for themselves. She didn’t want to think about that, how they treated her.

  She jumped when the knock came at the door. Jack moved the chair and picked up the knife.

  The moment the door opened, Kate jumped up and rushed forward. “I’m going to get a Coke from the machine.”

  The pizza guy was no older than she was. She saw Jack’s fist clench on the knife he held behind the door. “No need, honey. I ordered some. Take the pizza.” He pushed the box into her hand, paid and closed the door. Jack put the chair back in place and lifted the pizza from Kate.

  “What did I tell you?” he snapped. “What did I say? Are you stupid?” Jack stepped right up to her. “Now you don’t get to eat.”

  Chapter Seven

  Nathan sat at his desk and yawned. He’d not slept well. He’d left his sister’s place without Marie, despite her hints. She’d made it clear sex with a PI was on her “must do” list, along with visiting Hawaii and learning to scuba dive. Nathan wasn’t sure which ranked highest. She’d whispered that guys with guns in shoulder holsters turned her on. Part of him wanted to ask how far she’d go for someone who also carried a gun at his ankle. Instead he drove home alone.

  The evening had focused on a discussion about revenge, whether it was right or wrong, whether violent revenge could ever be justified, and Marie turned out to be one of those religious nuts who wanted to forgive everybody. He asked her whether it was wrong to want revenge or only wrong if you took it. She thought both equally bad, forgiveness the only way. Un-fucking- believable. She wanted sex with a guy who carried a gun yet freaked at the idea of him using it. Not that he had since he’d been working for himself. Nathan just felt more secure knowing it was there.

  Now he sat at his desk thinking about Alison when he didn’t want to, wondering if she ever thought about him. He’d met her at a house-warming party of a mutual friend. After years of unsatisfying short-term relationships, Nathan was struck by a ridiculous, clichéd love at first sight. He saw Alison across the room talking to some guy and she turned, looked at Nathan and never looked away. They talked all night. She was all he’d ever wanted: bright, kind, sexy, a friend as well as a lover. She’d been there for him after he’d been shot. Supported him when he moved into private investigation, helped him set up the business.

  The night he’d asked her to marry him and she said yes was the happiest of his life.

  The night he’d found her in bed with Jack, the worst.

  When his phone rang, Nathan ignored it. When it didn’t stop he lifted the receiver. He listened to a torrent of abuse for a few moments before he hung up.

  A husband he’d watched for a wife. A husband having an affair with his neighbor.

  Nathan put his head in his hands and wondered what he was doing. He wanted to walk away but if he didn’t work, he couldn’t pay his bills. He knew he was a mess but there was no one to talk to. He couldn’t burden Elisa; she had enough to cope with. And the idea of talking to his father or his stepmother filled him with revulsion, as did the idea of talking to Jack, which was why Nathan had put it off for three months. He couldn’t carry on like this.

  Nathan decided to call Hammond Insurance where Jack worked. He’d meet him for a drink. One face-to-face meeting would do it, and Nathan would try not to punch the shit out of him. Maybe.

  A few moments later he put the phone down. Jack no longer worked there.

  They had no idea where he’d gone. The asshole had lost his job. Again.

  ***

  Kate woke when Jack moved his arm and took hers along with his. The cuff pulled at her wrist and she was tugged toward his back with her arm across his body. Aware they were both naked, Kate tried to draw away but Jack turned so he faced her.

  “Morning, darlin’. Sleep okay?”

  “I think you made sure I did.”

  He chuckled. “Until you’re willing to do what I say, I have to make you.” Jack unlocked the cuffs. Kate tried again to move away and he pulled her back.

  “Not so fast.”

  “Please don’t hurt me.”

  “Then don’t fight.”

  “I’ll scream.”

  “Go ahead. No one will hear and even if they do, nothing will happen. I already told you, there’s no knight coming to save you.” He grabbed her breast and Kate caught his wrist.

  “Are you going to make this easy or difficult?” He moved his hands to her neck and slid them up and down, squeezing gently. “You know I could kill you in an instant. Don’t you want to stay alive?”

  “Yes, so I can see you go to jail.”

  Jack smiled. “Well, there you are. Strong motivation.” He turned her so her back lay against his chest and then locked his legs around hers, his erection pressing against her butt. He fondled her breasts and bent his head to the side of her neck, rubbing his rough cheek against her. A hand slid between her legs and a finger wormed its way inside her. Kate tensed.

  “Do you like that, Kate? Is that what you do at night?” Jack took her hand and put it between her legs. “Show me what you like to do. Show me how you like to be touched.”

  “Stop it.”

  She made a fist. He laughed and turned her again so she faced him, held her down with his thigh. He pried her fingers apart and put them around his erection, holding them there with his hand.

  “Okay, then I’ll show you what I like.” Kate didn’t fight and he smiled. “Is this the next stage, Kate? You’ve moved from violent defiance to semi-submission?

  Want me to believe you’re co-operating? I tried that when I was a kid and one of my doctors fucked me in the ass. Maybe I should try that with you.” Oh God. Jack tried to kiss her and she turned her face. His teeth latched onto her ear and she yelped, trying to wriggle free.

  He lowered his voice to a whisper. “I had a good time fucking your mom, but your resistance to my charms adds that little something to our love-making.” Kate froze and he laughed. “She liked to be on all fours. I liked it better that way, too. I didn’t have to look at her sagging breasts. But yours are real pretty.” He flicked a nipple with his fingers. “Yeah, I like these a damn sight better than hers.”

  He sucked on her nipple, then looked at her and grinned. “Struck dumb for once, Kate? That smart mouth got nothing to say?”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “She’d do anything.”

  “Shut up.”

  She lifted her hand to hit him and he caught her wrist.

  “Suck my cock and I’ll tell you how we met.”

  “You never met my mother.”

  “Susan Amelia Jane Evans. The first day we met, she let me come in her mouth.”

  He wanted to upset her. She wouldn’t react, wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

  “So you know her name.”

  “Want to know where we met?”

  “You never met her.”

  “Ashlands Psychiatric Hospital.”

  Kate’s heart changed places with her stomach. She felt the electrical connections snapping in her brain.

  “Believe me now?”

  Kate tried to think back to when her mother had been admitted, faces she recalled, names she remembered. She didn’t remember Jack. That meant nothing. Patient or employee? Patient. He’d known about the alien language and the spacecraft because he’d spoken to her mother. The sex was a lie, but…she took a shaky breath. “Why were you in Ashlands?”

  “Get on your knees. Let me fuck you without fighting and I’ll tell you.”

  “No.” Kate tried to get up.

  Jack shrugged and pulled her back. “I’m going to fuck you anyway.” Kate locked her legs together and tw
isted away. The more she struggled, the rougher Jack became.

  “You’re not going to win, darlin’. Why fight?” She caught her breath as he forced his way inside her. Kate closed her eyes, swamped by fear and disgust. Counted back from a hundred in her head. Don’t think. Don’t think.

  It was over quickly. A few short thrusts and grunts and he’d spilled his slime.

  He rolled off her and pulled her back against him.

  “Why were you in Ashlands?” she whispered.

  “I stabbed my father.”

  “Oh my God.”

  “I wasn’t trying to kill him.” Jack’s voice rose. “I was making a point. If I’d wanted to fucking kill him I would have. But then he made a point of his own.

  Ashlands or prison.”

  She shouldn’t be surprised. He’d probably spent his entire life in one institution or another.

  Jack settled his chin on her shoulder. “I saw your mother sitting under a tree, an abandoned look in her eyes. One I recognized. I introduced myself and she said she couldn’t tell me who she was, only who people said she was. Her name was Susan Evans, but she wasn’t married to the man who’d had her committed. Nor was the girl with him her daughter.”

  Kate trembled.

  Jack laughed. “She knew she’d been in a car accident, but she didn’t remember much else.”

  Kate’s father had been driving. A lapse of attention after he’d snapped at her mother and he’d slammed into a parked truck. All three of them had been hurt, but her mother’s head injury left her unconscious for weeks. When she saw Kate and her father at her bedside, she called them impostors, said her real family had died in the crash and these people were pretending to be related to her. The doctors thought she’d get over it, but she hadn’t and Kate had to learn how to deal with a mother who refused to acknowledge her.