Hagen & Missy Read online

  Then I had to go nuclear on him and sabotage it. But seriously, how was I not supposed to freak out? I should have said fuck it and followed my heart, especially when he gave me the diner that he bought for me. He remembered our conversation in Vegas and he actually bought me a fucking diner. Can the man be any more perfect? Apparently, his brother owns a construction company, so right now it is being upgraded to look like my vision. Then why am I still so hesitant?

  This is one of the times I wish I had a mom to go to for advice. Or at least a best friend. Someone. The past few days I have been walking around in this new city I find myself in to try and get my bearings. To figure out my next move. The fact that this place is quiet, unlike Vegas and clean. Also, unlike Vegas, I notice that Bleak Minnesota has an unnatural number of happy couples walking around.

  Which if I’m honest that alone is a shock to me. When you consider the name ‘Bleak’ a person could think that there would be a lot of suicide attempts or something. But no. As far as I can see, everyone seems to be happy and full of love. I want that for myself.

  ‘Then why did you push him away, nutjob?’ Leave it to me, to state the obvious.

  The phone ringing breaks up my admonishments. Shit. Its Hagen.

  “Hello.” Sue me, but the man makes me tongue-tied. I can’t think when he is near or apparently on the phone. He knows it too if his chuckle is anything to go by.

  “Hello to you too baby. I am calling to let you know I will be there in two hours to take you out to dinner. Be ready.”

  “I’m sorry. What?” I question as I am totally thrown off guard.

  “A date Missy. You want to take it slow and I want you. The advice I have been given is to date you. Apparently, I am supposed to do that before marrying you. Who knew?” He chuckles again and I am officially swooning. Even his damn chuckle is cute.

  “A date, huh? OK. What should I wear?”

  “Whatever the hell you want baby. As long you are with me the rest doesn’t matter. See you in two hours.” Well damn. I think as I am fanning myself. Time to get sexy for my husband.

  Chapter Three

  Hagen

  Heading my father’s advice, I call my beautiful wife and ask her out on a date. When I get to my apartment door, instead of walking-in I knock. I am doing this legit. When she opens the door, I almost swallow my tongue. Her little black dress is mouthwatering.

  “Hey baby,” I finally manage to get out of my mouth.

  “Hi. You are very prompt. I like that,” she says smiling and causing me to grin. She leans in and kisses me quickly.

  “Shall we?” I ask, holding my arm out to her.

  “Where are we going?”

  “It’s a surprise,” I say leading her to the passenger seat of my truck.

  Once we are buckled in, I take off for St. Paul. There is a dinner theatre there that my niece Erika suggested. Thirty minutes later we are parked, and I help her down from the truck.

  “This is where we are going?” It’s an Arabian themed dinner show.

  “I love horses,” she says excitedly. Holding hands, we walk inside to our seats.

  Throughout the show she is on the edge of her seat. I find myself staring at her, instead of the show. She is so fucking beautiful. She’s quiet on the way home but is fidgets with the hem of her dress.

  “What are you thinking?” I ask, because I need to know.

  “I was thinking about asking you to come up for coffee,” she says giggling. “You know how they did in the old movies,” she says.

  “Coffee is that what they are calling it these days?” I ask, parallel parking in front of the building.

  “Hagen,” she says, seductively dancing her fingertips over my forearm. “Come upstairs. My pussy needs you.”

  “Does it, baby?”

  “Oh, yeah,” she says almost moaning.

  Getting out of the truck we all but race up the stairs. I slam the door shut behind us and press her against it. Sliding her dress up I find her panty less pussy.

  “You were without panties all night?” I ask growling.

  “No. I took them off in the car,” she says pulling her black panties out of her little purse.

  “You took them off in the car?” I ask quirking an eyebrow at her.

  “They were wet. I slipped them off after you helped me into the truck.”

  “You’re a bad girl, Missy. Bad girl indeed,” I lose control and rip her dress down the center, baring her to me. Her perky tits bounce. Pushing them together, I take both of her nipples into my mouth. She moans.

  “Hagen, please.”

  “You don’t ever have to beg me baby. I live to please you,” I say kissing her neck before taking her lips.

  “Fuck me, Hagen.” Her voice is somehow both breathy and demanding. Fuck, I love her.

  “Done,” I say lifting her into my arms and taking her to the bedroom.

  I lay her on the bed and quickly shed my clothes. Between her legs, I slide my raging hard cock into her cunt and fuck her slowly at first, then faster and faster. Her nails dig in going down my back as she struggles to pull me even closer to her. Leaning down, I kiss her. Fuck, her pussy is amazing. I never want to leave it.

  I feel her pussy flutter around my cock as I fill her with my seed. God, I need this woman by my side. I am starting to wonder how I managed without her for this long.

  Chapter Four

  Missy

  Four weeks later

  As I open the door to my restaurant, I smile like I do every day. Having something to call my own is exhilarating. I never thought I would own anything in my life. Let alone a diner made into my image. Thinking about it, I can’t help but think about the man who gave it to me. My husband.

  At the mere thought of him, my body buzzes with acknowledgement. Last night he worked me over and made me cum screaming his name, until the early morning hours. Every night when we meet in the cottage behind his parents’ house or end up there after a date, I fall into his arms and my skin is electrified by his touch. The warmth of his love and being filled with is cock, is my very obsession. It doesn’t stop me however, from slipping out after he is sleep. And every night, when I make it back to the apartment, I ask myself why I left. And I keep coming up with the same answer: I don’t want to be my mom.

  Fuck.

  Get your head on right Missy. You need to take a break from all the heavy shit and enjoy the day. This is the mantra that I use to keep me going. Otherwise, I will crawl into a fetal position and cry. My heart is a mess and so is my head. They are both at war with one another and I can’t make them agree.

  The day goes by rather quickly. I already have a few regulars. Though, I suppose in Bleak everyone is a regular. I think to myself smiling. His sister, niece, and their friends come in everyday to say hello and chat. It is nice to have other women to talk to. Dare I say, I am finally feeling at home here.

  I look at the clock and realize I have about 30 minutes before I have to go. I made an appointment last week with an OB in town who is not related to Hagen. I have been cramping lately, but with no bleeding. The thought occurred to me that I might be pregnant. I mean it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibilities. Considering we consume each other almost every night.

  “Thank you for calling Missy’s. This is Missy. How can I help you?”

  “Hey love. How’s your day going?” I love it when he calls me throughout the day to check in.

  “Good. How was your morning?”

  “It would have been better if I would have woken up with you. I don’t like you slipping out like a thief in the night. Don’t do it anymore. I am over it. Do we understand each other?” Holy hell. It's hot when he gets all growly and takes charge.

  “Yes. I understand. I’m sorry.” I really am. I had already decided not to do it again.

  “Good. Are you closing tonight?”

  “No. Lydia is. Why?”

  “We have reservations tonight. Wear something comfortable. It is going to be interactiv
e.” Ooooo. I love physical activity.

  “Ok. What time? I have a doctor’s appointment in a bit.”

  “Is everything ok baby? You need me to come with you?”

  “No. I am fine. Just acquainting myself with a lady doc. No biggie.”

  “Alright. If you’re sure. Say six.”

  “Perfect. See you then.”

  By the time I hang up with him it is time for me to go. I make sure all of my staff is squared away and head out. I am going to see Dr Denise who works out of the same office as Hagen’s dad. It was a bit weird thinking about his dad being all up in my business, if you know what I mean.

  I get to the appointment, fill out the papers, and in record time I am in her office on the exam table.

  “So, you are saying you have been having menstrual type of pain, but without the period. How long has it been since you’ve had your period?”

  I rack my brain trying to think. Unfortunately, I have no idea. Everything has happened so fast and I have always been one of the ones who has never been regular. I tell her all of this. She looks a bit concerned, which in turn upsets me.

  She takes a urine sample, some blood, and suggest I have an ultrasound right away. Waiting for the machine to be brought into the room, my nerves are shot. What could she be looking for? I came in for a simple checkup and possibly to see if I was pregnant. Now, I am not sure I want to know what is going on.

  She inserts the camera vaginally and as she clicks away taking pics and such, I feel like I am going to burst with not knowing. Finally, she is done and looks at me solemnly, then asks me to get dressed and meet her in her office. My mind's going a mile a minute. I keep thinking the worst. It could be cancer or something.

  “Well, first let me tell you, you are not pregnant. But there is a reason for the pain. I need to consult with a specialist to be sure, but I am pretty sure you have something known as PCOS. That in and of itself will make it hard if not virtually impossible for you to conceive. I am more concerned about the pain and the adhesions I see on your uterus. It looks like endometriosis.”

  “I don’t know what any of those things mean. Explain.”

  “I find it best if I give the patient the brochures, and then you call me after you have read through them if you have questions. As doctors, we tend to over explain, and it seems to further confuse the patient. This way is better.”

  She gives me the info and sends me on my way. I am like a zombie driving home. When I make it in the door, I drop everything and read. The more I read, the more the devastation sets in, until I finally find that fetal position I was trying to avoid and sob. The life I thought I saw...yea…no longer so bright.

  Chapter Five

  Hagan

  One Month Later

  I can’t believe how hard it is coming up with interesting dates to go on with my wife, but alas here I have been racking my brain to figure something out. I have spoken to my brothers, their wives, and even my nieces and nephews. I’ve taken all of their suggestions to date and now I am struggling to come up with something. Anything.

  She drives me insane. Insane with lust, love, and this insatiable need to make her happy. I’ve heard that love makes you crazy anyway, so it’s really only a matter of how crazy you want to be. Besides, what are the odds that I would meet my soulmate in Vegas? The irony of that isn’t lost on me. So, I show up at my apartment with pizza and beer in hand at around eight o’clock.

  “Hi,” she says, smiling at me. She is barefoot, in a little navy-blue dress with sunflowers on it, and I can’t wait for it to be on the fucking floor.

  “I thought we could stay in tonight. Is that okay with you?”

  “Sounds good. I am exhausted and worked all day today. In fact, I just got home about twenty minutes ago. How was your day?”

  “It was interesting. Hacked an evil corporation, moved some funds around for them, and helped my brother locate a drug lord.”

  “All in a day's work then?” She asks, giggling.

  “Something like that,” I say chuckling.

  “Do you want to watch a movie or something while we eat?”

  “That sounds good,” she says taking the pizza from me and walking into the kitchen with it. I follow her and watch as she opens the box. “Oh fuck, this looks amazing. I’m starving.”

  “You didn’t eat at work?” I ask concerned for her. It amazes me how much I love this woman

  “No. We were busy.” She moans taking a bite. Fuck. There is no way on God’s green Earth that I will ever get tired of hearing that sound.

  “You’ve got to take better care of yourself. We’ve been married for four months now. We make love all the time. It’s only a matter of time before you are carrying my child. Speaking of, are you on birth control or something? We really need to look to the future, don’t you think?” I’m kind of shocked that she isn’t already pregnant with the copious amounts of cum I’ve filled her sweet pussy with.

  I take a slice from the box. When she doesn’t answer me, I continue. “You do want kids, right?” It’s then that she drops the pizza on the counter and rushes out of the room.

  What the fuck is this all about? I take off after her and find her face down on my bed. Her sobbing makes me feel helpless and I hate it. I have no idea what I said to upset her, but fuck if I’m not going to find out. I sit on the edge of the bed and rub her back in what I hope are soothing motions. After several minutes, she’s still sobbing, and I can’t take her pain anymore.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?” I try, but I am still not getting any response. But she does turn to me and snuggles with me. I lose track of how long we lay there with me holding her and comforting her.

  “I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” I say, trying one more time.

  “We need to talk,” she says sniffling.

  Fuck.

  Why does those four stupid ass words cause so much dread?

  “You can talk to me about anything. I love you, you know, that right?” I ask. I realize it’s the first time I’ve actually said the words out loud to her and I vow to rectify that immediately.

  Chapter Six

  Missy

  Somehow, I thought I would be able to put the whole doctors visit behind me and act like it never happened. I tried fooling myself into believing it wouldn’t be an issue for us. Or that it wouldn’t come up. Maybe, it's more as if I didn’t want it to come up. But here I am sitting in the bedroom crying into my husband's chest, because he brings up the one thing that can turn me into a blubbering idiot.

  Now, as I sit here on the verge of telling him about my doctor's appointment, I can’t help but wonder if he is going to want to stay with me when he finds out. How poetic is it that I have to tell him his dreams of being a father are basically null and void. And after he just told me he loves me for the first time. I tell him all the time. He has never said it back.

  “Do you know that’s the first time you have said that to me.” I whisper to him, still not willing to let him go. “I only wish it wasn't now, before I have to shatter your dreams.” I know he heard me when he puts me away from his chest and looks into my eyes.

  “Missy. You can’t say shit like that and not follow it up. My heart is freaking the fuck out baby. What the hell is going on?” Here goes nothing.

  “I went to the doctor to get checked out and such. To make sure everything is ok. I was thinking the same thing as you. We have been going at it like jackrabbits. Dr. Denise is an OB/GYN in town. No offense, but there is no way I was going to go to your dad. She ran some tests and discovered I have PCOS.”

  He moves swiftly as if to jump up. I put my hands on his chest, silently letting him know it's nothing that’s going to kill me. At least not physically.

  “Hagen, calm down and I can explain.” I wait for him to relax.

  He pulls me further into him and sits back on the bed, so that his back is to the wall and I am straddling him. Any other time we would be all over each other. But right now, this mom
ent is too much.

  “OK baby. I’m calm. Explain.”

  “Polycystic ovarian syndrome is a disorder of the endocrine system that affects about one in ten women. Enlarged ovaries is only one of the telltale signs, hence the name. It also causes other issues like irregular menstruation, excessive sweating, acne, insulin resistance, as well as high androgens. Just to name a few. The biggest issue it can cause is infertility due to the irregular and sometimes non-existent periods.”

  By the time I get to that part of the explanation, I am back to being a wreck. I have never in my life felt as much of a failure as I do now. No one will ever understand the gut-wrenching pain throughout my body, while knowing that I can’t perform the basic function of a woman. Giving new life. I can’t give him the one thing I was built for. A child. A family. A part of the two of us.

  What’s the point then? To any of this? He wraps his arms around me and rocks me back and forth. He is telling me how much he loves me. How much he will be there for me and saying it doesn’t matter. There are other ways to have a family. But that is just it...those other ways further prove my failure as woman.

  “Missy. Look at me.” I look up at him while the tears rain down my face. “What else did she say about babies?”

  “She---she sa---she said we could try IUI. It's not that expensive and not a guarantee. It involves medicine, needles, and just...Hagen...I can’t ask you to go through all of that because I can’t do what a wife is supposed to.”

  “I don’t know what the fuck you think a wife is supposed to do. But whatever the fuck it is stop thinking it now. We. Are. Married. Those vows, no matter where we were when we took them, mean something to me. So, whatever the hell it is, we are going to work through it together. Got it?” Well hell. I love it when he gets all Viking on me.