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Laugh Yourself Healthy
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I thoroughly enjoyed this book! I’m convinced that laughter is absolutely the best medicine as it charges the immune system and triggers the relaxation response. In this stressful world where 75 to 90 percent of all visits to primary care physicians are for stress-related complaints or disorders, I believe Laugh Yourself Healthy is a vital part of the healing process. Laughter stops stress in its tracks. Charles and Frances Hunter have put together a wonderful collection of humorous anecdotes to help brighten your day and your disposition. After all, “a merry heart doeth good like medicine.”
—Don Colbert, MD
New York Times Best-selling Author of
The Seven Pillars of Health and the Bible Cure series
Charles and Frances are very special, longtime friends of mine. Through the years, they have always been so encouraging and full of the joy of the Lord. I know that as you read Laugh Yourself Healthy you will receive that joy and be strengthened and encouraged, experiencing God’s healing in every area of your life!
—Joel Osteen
Senior Pastor, Lakewood Church
Houston, TX
Charles & Frances
HUNTER
Most STRANG COMMUNICATIONS BOOK GROUP products are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchase for sales promotions, premiums, fundraising, and educational needs. For details, write Strang Communications Book Group, 600 Rinehart Road, Lake Mary, Florida 32746, or telephone (407) 333-0600.
LAUGH YOURSELF HEALTHY by Charles and Frances Hunter
Published by Christian Life
A Strang Company
600 Rinehart Road
Lake Mary, Florida 32746
www.strangdirect.com
This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without prior written permission of the publisher, except as provided by United States of America copyright law.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are from the King James Version of the Bible.
Design Director: Bill Johnson; Cover design by Amanda Potter
Copyright © 2008 by Charles and Frances Hunter
All rights reserved
Our very special thanks to Roger Wolfe, publisher of The Tulsa Morning Fax, from which most of these jokes were taken, for his permission to use them in this book.
Library of Congress Cataloging–in–Publication Data:
Hunter, Charles, 1920-
Laugh yourself healthy / Charles and Frances Hunter.
p. cm.
Previously pub.: Healing through humor. Lake Mary, Fla. : Creation House Press, c2003.
ISBN-13: 978-1-59979-349-8
ISBN-10: 1-59185-196-3
1. American wit and humor. I. Hunter, Frances Gardner, 1916- II. Title.
PN6165.H93 2008
818’.602--dc22
2008014811
Previously published as Healing Through Humor by Creation House, copyright © 2003, ISBN: 978-1-59185-196-7.
09 10 11 12 13 — 98765432
Printed in the United States of America
CONTENTS
Foreword by Francisco Contreras, MD
Anatomy of a Laugh
Preface
1 Mind Twisters
2 Love and Marriage
3 Chuckle With Children
4 Parenting Predicaments
5 Short and to the Point
6 Joke Theology 101
7 Nutritional Humor
8 Our Four-Legged Friends
9 Lighthearted Aging
10 Purse String Musings
11 Smiling at the Law
12 Living Life With a Smile
FOREWORD
I REMEMBER THOROUGHLY ENJOYING Robin Williams’s portrayal of the young Dr. Patch Adams, a physician who spends more time in clown’s garb than a doctor’s gown. Patch Adams, the movie, brought to the world’s attention the importance of compassion, love, and humor in the treatment of patients. My soul resonated with the message that joy is vital to the recuperation of health.
I could relate to the theme profoundly because I had grown up in and around the Oasis of Hope Hospital, which my dad founded in 1963 with the mission of improving the quality of the physical, emotional, and spiritual lives of his patients. His total-care approach included ministering to the patients’ bodies with nutrition, nutraceuticals, pharmaceuticals, and physical therapy. It also involved nurturing the emotional and spiritual needs of his patients through counseling, music therapy, art therapy, prayer, hugs, and laughter. It came as no shock to me when my father pulled out his pen pal file full of the letters he had exchanged with the real Patch Adams since the early 1980s.
Dad and Patch are two birds of a feather. When I had the pleasure of spending time with Patch, I saw that holistic healing was no joking matter to him. He was dead serious. If you saw the movie and wondered if Patch is the same in real life, the answer is—the movie presented a tame version. The depth of Patch’s knowledge and his commitment to humanity awed me. I was surprised to see that his doctor’s bag was full of different clown noses and teeth, which he allowed me to try on, causing us both to laugh.
My father is the only physician I have met who would arrive at the hospital toting a guitar and a joke book. His career spanned sixty years. He was recognized with the Alternative Medicine Lifetime Achievement Award, but his biggest reward was that each day he could build a meaningful, healing relationship with his patients. I believe that not only was the laughter with patients healing for them, but it was also the key to the longevity of his career. One clinical study indicated that both patient and physician benefit from sessions of laughter. I don’t doubt that to be true.
I have often said that fear is the stronghold of cancer. Cancer is an opportunistic disease. Fear and other negative emotions are detrimental to the immune system. Depression and anxiety are open invitations for cancer to have its way with a patient. When we are able to help a person smile and laugh, I know that we increase the possibility of recovery markedly. One of my goals is to help patients get to a place where they can stare cancer right in the eyes and say, “You cannot rob my joy.” For me, laughter therapy is not a warm fuzzy activity that is a nice service to offer patients if time allows. It is an essential part of our treatment program.
Science has definitively confirmed the potent healing factor of laughter. Whether studies were conducted in Japan 1 or Loma Linda, California,2 objective results indicate that patients who experience laughter receive a boost to their immune system as measured in the elevation of natural killer cell activity and immunoglobulin. There are so many objective clinical trials that support the healing power of humor that it surprises me that few doctors take advantage of this medication. I do realize that insurance companies probably do not reimburse doctors for telling jokes, but who cares? As physicians, we should be willing to do whatever it takes to improve the health of our patients.
This wonderful book, Laugh Yourself Healthy, is a great tool for doctors to use in laughter therapy sessions. As I mentioned, my father always brought a book of jokes with him to work. I think this book would have been one of his all-time favorites because it will keep any reader in stitches. I know that we are living in a time when everyone is panicked about medical claims and lawsuits, so I will make no claim about the healing power of this book. All I will say is that science confirms that positive emotions invoked by humor have healing effects. If you read this book and no positive emotions come about, you need to check if you have a pulse. This book is great, and I plan to prescribe it to my patients! Enjoy.
—Francisco Contreras, MD
&nbs
p; Surgical Oncologist
Author, The Coming Cancer Cure
Director, Oasis of Hope Hospital
www.oasisofhope.com
1. K. Takahashi et al., “The Elevation of Natural Killer Cell Activity Induced by Laughter in a Crossover Study,” International Journal of Molecular Medicine 8, no. 6 (December 2001): 645–650.
2. L. S. Berk et al., “Modulation of Neuroimmune Parameters During the Eustress or Humor-Associated Mirthful Laughter,” Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine 7, no 2 (March 2001): 62–72, 74–76.
ANATOMY OF A LAUGH
YOUR WHOLE BODY gets a kick out of a good chuckle. Here is what happens when you laugh, according to research.
• Your heart and lungs are stimulated.
• Your heart beats faster and your blood pressure rises temporarily.
• You breathe deeper and oxygenate more blood.
• Your body releases endorphins, your own natural painkillers, and you produce more immune cells.
• You burn seventy-eight times as many calories as you would in a resting state.
• Your diaphragm, facial muscles, and internal organs all get bounced around in what is sometimes called “internal jogging.”
After you’ve laughed, your muscles and arteries relax. That’s great for easing pain. Also, your blood pressure lowers and your pulse drops below normal. Some researchers think all this aids digestion.
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
—Proverbs 17:22
A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.
—Proverbs 15:13
PREFACE
WRITE A BOOK called Healing Through Humor!”
This is what the Lord told us to do. Of the fifty-four books we have written, none of them contain a joke; so we didn’t think we were qualified. But when God tells you to do something, He will qualify you!
For months we researched thousands and thousands and thousands of jokes and selected the ones that we felt were the greatest immune builders.
Now, why did God tell us to write a book like that?
One night we were privileged to hear Dr. Francisco Contreras on TBN. His father was the founder of the great cancer research hospital in Tijuana, Mexico. We had visited there when we were in Tijuana several years ago and were tremendously impressed because the entire operation is bathed in prayer. So I listened very closely to what Dr. Contreras said.
Somewhere in the interview he made a statement that caused bells to ring in my head! He said, “One bout of anger will diminish the efficiency of your immune system for six hours, but one good laugh will increase the efficiency of your immune system for twenty-four hours.” The immune system is what controls how healthy or how sick we are, so we all want to keep our immune systems as powerful as we can!
READ SLOWLY
Remember that when you squeeze an orange, you squeeze it and squeeze it until you get all the juice out of it. This joke book is meant to be read in exactly the same way. Don’t read this book quickly or just scan it. You need to get all the juice out of each joke, so meditate on each joke until the humor has really hit you hard.
This is meant to be a book for you to just pick up, open anywhere in the book, and get a good laugh to increase your immune system. We would suggest that you read no more than five pages at a time.
Remember that the joy of the Lord is your strength, and a broken spirit dries your bones. Have a good laugh, and get your immune system going right now!
—Charles and Frances Hunter
one
MIND TWISTERS
Mental test
“Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” Bob asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”
“Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question that everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.”
“What sort of question?”
“Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?’”
Bob thought for a moment and then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example, would you? I don’t know much about history.”
A man came home from the psychiatrist with great news for his wife. “Honey, the doctor no longer has to treat me. He doesn’t think I have an inferiority complex. He thinks I’m just inferior.”
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty, new stewardess. The route they were flying had an overnight stay in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the blonde stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed that the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up, wondering what happened to her.
She answered the phone sobbing and said she couldn’t get out of her room.
The captain was puzzled until she explained that her room had only three doors: one was to the bathroom, another led to the closet, and the third had a sign hanging on it that said, “Please Do Not Disturb!”
Things to think about
• How can batteries die?
• Why are buildings called buildings when they are finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
• Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
• Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Did you know?
• It is impossible to lick your elbow.
• A shrimp’s heart is in its head.
• People say, “Bless you,” when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
• It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
• No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
• Did you hear about the man who couldn’t call 911 because there was no 11 on the phone?
A university student was visiting relatives in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty coed. He attempted to start up a conversation with the line, “Where does you go to school?”
The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar, but she did answer his question. “Yale,” she said.
The university linebacker took a big, deep breath and shouted, “Where does you go to school?”
Wondering
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
Two inebriated men were riding on a roller coaster. One turned to the other and yelled, “Hey, we’re really making great time, but I’m not sure this is the right bus!”
Asking the right question at the right time
A beautiful blonde was walking down the street and stopped a man to ask for the time.
The man, looking at his watch, helpfully responded, “Why certainly, miss. It’s now four o’clock.”
The blonde paused and said, “You know, it’s really weird. I’ve been asking people that question all day long, and each time I get a different answer.
An important official who was visiting a mental institution made a telephone call but had difficulty getting his number. Finally, in exasperation he shouted to the operator, “Look here, girl, do you know who I am?”
“No,” she replied calmly, “but I know where you are.”
Applause, applause
Ten yuppettes and one elderly lady were hanging on to a rope that came down from a plane. They all decided that one person should get off because the combined weight of the people was too much for the rope. All of the people were afraid that the rope would soon break.
For a while no one spoke. Then the elderly lady said, “I’ve lived a good life. I’ll let go.” But before she did, the ten yuppettes started clapping.
I just bought a cured ham.
Wonder what it had?
r /> A good question
Passing an office building late one night, Paula saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman.”
She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate and then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.
“Well,” he snarled at Paula, “what do you want?”
“I just wanted to know why you can’t ring it for yourself.”
Telling the truth
A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time. At the roulette table she said, “I have no idea what number to play.”
A young, good-looking man nearby suggested that she play her age.
Smiling and blinking her eyelashes at the man, she put her money on number 32. The wheel was spun and 41 came up.
The smile drifted from the woman’s face and she fainted.
From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island; he is shouting and desperately waving his hands.
“Who is it?” a passenger asks the captain.
“I have no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad.”
A cup of coffee
Cousin Susie was the world’s worst at getting instructions mixed up. So she decided to follow each and every instruction to the “T” on everything. That way she expected she wouldn’t mess anything up.
When she got married, her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it.
Susie listened to Salesman Jones carefully explain how everything worked—how to plug it in, set the timer, go back to bed, and, upon rising, the coffee is ready.
A few weeks later, Susie was back in the store, and Jones asked her how she liked the coffee maker.
“Wonderful!” she replied. “However, there’s one thing I don’t understand. Why do I have to go back to bed every time I want a cup of coffee?”