HIM Read online

  “It’s been a long time since you’ve seen me do anything.” I sat down on the couch in the living room, taking off my sneakers. I was sweating an uncomfortable amount. A long, hot shower was what I was craving now.

  “When are you seeing each other again?”

  “Tonight.”

  “Wow, you’ve been seeing him a lot lately,” she smirked. We’d seen each other every day during the past week – watching movies, going out to eat, grabbing a cup of coffee, going to bookstores to hang out – he’d read so many books – and now running. “Do you know what you’re going to do?”

  “I have no clue,” I sighed, shutting my eyes for a moment. I’d been so tired lately; all I kept thinking about was Jensen . . . and I was losing sleep over it. Not that I minded too much. Focusing on Jensen took my focus away from having nightmares about the man whose name I never spoke.

  “I knew you’d make a cute couple.” I was beaming, silently. The doorbell rang quickly two times in a row. “I’ll get it!” Tory sang as she made her way over to the foyer opening the door. “Hey! Come on in.”

  I heard two sets of heels clacking against the marble tile. “Hey, Avalon,” greeted Lucy in her thick New Jersey dialect. Lucy was a curvy girl with a dark complexion and large light brown eyes. They complimented her curly auburn hair, which was in a low ponytail at the nape of her neck. Out of the three girls in the Drunken Trio she was the only one I didn’t mind being around.

  “Hi,” I responded. “What’s up?”

  “Tory invited me to go shopping with her. Want to join us?” Lucy had made this offer to me time and time again. Not once had I ever agreed to go. By now it was out of habit she asked. Tory was the same way.

  I thought about it for a moment. I would surprise them . . . and myself. “Sure, I’d like that.” Both Tory and Lucy had an expression that read what the hell is going on? Especially Tory who was now beaming from ear to ear. “Mind if I shower real quick? I won’t need more than fifteen minutes to get ready.”

  “Damn,” Lucy laughed. “The last time it took me fifteen minutes to get ready I was a baby. And my mama dressed me.” Lucy was exactly like Tory – took nearly an hour every morning to put her face on followed by an extra hour and a half to throw on a dress.

  Tory chuckled. I forced a little laugh. “We’ll be waiting in the cab, Ava,” Tory said. “Make sure to bring an umbrella. I heard it might drizzle.” She and Lucy made their exit, leaving me alone in the house. I quickly took a steamy shower, wishing it could have lasted a little longer. I slipped on a high-waisted skirt, loose top and flats to match. Since the weather was acting bizarre lately I slipped on my short trench coat, which complimented the outfit perfectly. I put my wet hair in a high bun on the top of my head, added some mascara to my eyelashes, grabbed my umbrella and hopped into the cab next to Tory and Lucy whom were having what seemed to be a heated discussion about this season’s color pallet – pastel everything. Tory was against it, who wanted her bright pops of color. But Lucy was in support of this fabulous trend because it set the mood for a toned down summer.

  “Girl, I absolutely adored what Ivy was wearing to the party the other night. So in style.” Lucy loved fashion just as much as Tory. It wasn’t that I didn’t. I just didn’t allow it to consume my every thought.

  “Yeah, I really liked the top she chose to wear with those green pants. Who would have thought those would have mixed?” Tory added as they checked out some celebrity fashion blogs on their phones. She then turned to me, a smile on her lips and in her eyes. “You look so cute, Ava. Good choice with the trench coat.” She turned to Lucy, “Why didn’t we think of that?”

  Lucy shrugged. “Avalon’s ahead of the game.”

  I laughed. “So where are we going exactly?”

  “We’re thinking vintage.” Tory’s face lit up. “We’ve spotted some totally awesome consignment shops in Detroit.”

  “Detroit? As in Detroit, Michigan? But that’s almost four and a half hours away.” Did they usually travel this far to shop around?

  “It’s not like any of us have anything better to do,” Lucy chimed in, clacking her acrylic nails on the face of her diamond watch.

  I noticed the time. It was 8AM. It looked like we wouldn’t be getting back until after dark.

  “Oh wait,” Tory said, “when are you supposed to be hanging out with Jensen tonight?”

  “Jensen? You mean that really, really, really hot guy always hanging around here?” Lucy asked, eyes wide. “The one with the sexy blue eyes?”

  I didn’t like the way she said that. She cheapened Jensen’s inner and outer beauty. He wasn’t only hot and sexy. He was handsome and sweet and romantic and insanely smart. He was simply a great delight to be around. “Yeah, that’s the one.”

  “Good going, girl!” Lucy high-fived me.

  “It’ll be fine,” I told Tory. “I’ll text Jensen we’ll need to hang out a little later in the evening. It’s no problem at all.” I quickly informed Jensen of the change in plans of my schedule. In short he told me he couldn’t wait to see me that night – late or early – and to have a nice time. Then we were off to Detroit.

  * * *

  “One chai latte no whip coming right up,” said the barista as she put Lucy’s order in.

  We seated ourselves in a quaint coffee shop down the road from the several shopping venues we sampled throughout the never-ending day. My feet ached. Shopping was exhausting. I sipped my hazelnut coffee, listening to the idle talk between Tory and Lucy. I’d drowned them both out for most of the day including during the cab ride over. All they discussed were celebrity issues and the latest fashion trends. And when we began shopping around the talk about clothes was even more irritating.

  “That is so freaking adorable!” Tory squealed on our way over to another store earlier in the day. She was talking about a 1950’s inspired dress covered in faux jewels.

  “I need to try that on!” squealed Lucy just as enthused.

  Reluctantly I followed them inside. Both of them tried on the dress. It didn’t fit Tory’s body type – she was too petite. Lucy on the other hand was curvy in all the right places.

  “That looks nice on you,” I told her. “Maybe you should buy it.” I hadn’t gone shopping for anything in the longest time. I felt a little uncomfortable. But this was a normal thing normal people did. And I was one step closer to reinventing myself, to kick-starting the next chapter of my life. This shopping trip, no matter how aggravating, was a good thing for me.

  “On one hand,” Lucy said, “I’m really digging this dress. But on the other it gives me a major case of back fat.” She turned to the side, examining herself in a long mirror in disgust. “One part of me is like who freaking cares? But the other part is like…me.” With that, she removed the dress, leaving it behind to collect dust for another day and we left the store.

  After listening to the same chitchat all day long I began thinking about Jensen. Fantasizing about him, actually. Some situations were more graphic than others. Those made me blush so I had to end those fantasies.

  I heard someone calling my name. “Avalon, hello.” Tory was waving her hands in front of my face to catch my attention. “We’re ready to go.”

  “We are?” I hoped I didn’t sound too eager. They both nodded.

  The girls struggled to gather their many bags of vintage finds. I, on the other hand, held a single small box. Inside was a dainty white gold necklace engraved with the word HIM. The moment I laid eyes on it I knew it was a sign…for him…for my survival of the brutal attack on my soul. For so long now I’d been trying to get over what happened. And although I wasn’t sure if that would ever be possible, I felt in my heart that because I was still here on this Earth I had accomplished something major.

  Some people got tattoos of a remembrance of a tragedy. I got this necklace. I just hadn’t a clue if I’d actually wear it.

  We stepped into the cab and took off. I chose to sleep the whole way back to Empire, a light drizzle
following us along the way. An eventful night with Jensen was waiting for me once I got there. Unfortunately my dreams weren’t the most pleasant. Yet again I dreamt of him. I didn’t know if the necklace had triggered something dark within me or if my body was somehow trying to balance out the happiness I felt with Jensen and the misery I felt by being his victim. Whatever the reason I was afraid. With the snap of a finger I was back in that evil place; the one that dictated what my thoughts were, how I thought them, what I felt when I thought them. Every part of me ached from pain.

  It was dark. “Avalon,” he taunted, voice emerging from the shadows. “Forgetting about me won’t last long. I am inside your soul.” He approached me, body stiff as a board. His piercing green eyes bore a hole into my own. His index finger stabbed at my chest repeatedly as he chanted, “I am a part of you. I will always be a part of you.” He’d said it so many times the words became a jumbled mess and I suddenly couldn’t piece them together.

  “Stop!” I yelled as loud as I could. “Stop it!”

  He snickered louder and louder and louder. I covered my ears but the noise forced itself in. My body couldn’t take the sensation and each bone began cracking. I felt each and every inch of me break in two. I whaled in pain wishing someone – anyone – would rescue me from my agony. That’s when I felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around me. And a beautifully familiar voice saying my name.

  “Avalon,” the voice said. “Avalon, wake up. You’re okay. I’m here.”

  My eyes flew open in a flash, gasping for air. I clutched onto a soft shirt attempting to get my mind in the right place. When I looked up it was Jensen. He was in the taxi with me. Tory and Lucy were behind him and out the door; their mouths open in shock and concern.

  I heard Tory whisper, “We tried waking her up but she wouldn’t budge. I don’t think she heard us.”

  “How long was this going on for?” Jensen asked.

  “She was having a nightmare for only a few minutes.”

  “Homeboy’s got the magic touch,” Lucy added.

  In a low whisper Jensen replied to them both. “It’s okay, girls. I’ve got it from here.” He then glanced up at the driver and handed him a one hundred dollar bill. “Sir, would you mind driving around for a while? I’d like to sit in here with her.”

  “You got it,” the driver said. The vehicle began to move slowly, then picked up speed. I heard the zooming of other cars passing by, the sound of laughing teenagers, the cry of a baby. I heard life all around me. And Jensen was still holding me close to his warm chest, his breathing even and hypnotizing.

  After about fifteen minutes of driving around Jensen finally spoke. “Avalon, how are you doing?”

  I cleared my throat. “Better, thanks.”

  “Tory and her friend were really worried about you.”

  “I know.” I remembered their panic-stricken faces. “Did Tory call you?”

  “No. I was walking up to the beach house when I saw the cab. When the girls tried waking you up but couldn’t I realized something wasn’t right. So I intruded and…finally woke you up.”

  “I’m sorry you had to see me like that.” That was all I could say. I was too embarrassed to verbalize anything else.

  “You don’t need to apologize for something that was out of your control.”

  I shrugged, leaning closer into him. I heard rain pattering against the roof of the car and wind blowing the branches of trees.

  “What’s this?” Jensen asked, nudging my hand. I’d forgotten I’d been holding the small box this whole time. I opened up my palm so he could see. “Mind if I open it?”

  “It’s a necklace. You won’t like it.” My heart began to race. This wasn’t only a necklace. It was a symbol of survival. And Jensen didn’t know what I’d survived.

  “Did you buy it for yourself?” I nodded. “Then it must be beautiful.” He carefully opened the lid. In the glow of the streetlamps the necklace shimmered. Jensen read the inscription aloud, “Him.” He stayed silent for several minutes gripping the piece of jewelry between his flawless fingers. “Mind if I put it on you?”

  “Oh…sure.”

  With a swift movement he moved my thick hair out of his way sending chills down my spine as his warm fingers lingered on the back of my neck. The necklace came over my head, then settled just below my collarbone.

  “All done. It suits you.” Jensen’s eyes glimmered beneath the stars.

  I put my index finger on the pendent and felt the smooth edges, the engraved letters in a neat row. At first it felt heavy on my chest. But with a few deep breaths it felt light as a feather. Jensen was staring at me, a calm glow to him. I gripped the necklace in my hand and shut my eyes for a moment. This necklace now meant more to me than simply a symbol of survival. It was a juxtaposition between my triumph over him and my hope for a better future with Jensen. I would never take this off.

  “Up for something fun?” Jensen asked, taking me out of my train of thought.

  “I guess so.”

  “Sir, can you please head back now?” The driver nodded his head and we went back to the beach house. Once Jensen and I were out of the cab, he took me by the hand. My hand felt so small compared to his. His was warmer than mine, softer than mine. He was so gentle. I felt perfect like this with him. “I don’t think you’ve done anything like this before,” Jensen told me.

  “Oh no,” I rolled my eyes, “what is it?”

  “Follow me and you’ll find out.”

  Of course my curiosity got the best of me and I followed him down a dirt path behind the beach house. I’d never traveled beyond this point.

  “Where are we going?” I asked, looking up at the starry night sky twinkling as we walked underneath. The rain had stopped, leaving an earthy aroma behind. It was a bit humid out.

  “You’ll see,” he winked, grabbing my hand. I rarely ever knew how to respond to a thing he said. He spoke gracefully, confidently. I was always so unsure of myself. Maybe some of his good habits would rub off on me one of these days.

  Jensen had taken us down the road a bit, across from the swaying Michigan Lake. The smell of seaweed filled my nostrils as we passed a small Japanese market I didn’t even know existed around here. It brought back memories of China Town in New York City.

  “Are you willing to do something crazy and out of the ordinary?” he asked, eyes bright against the full moon.

  “Um…what did you have in mind?” I answered with trepidation.

  Without another word Jensen led us to a quaint pond surrounded by full bushes and a slew of already-lit candles, a large quilt beside a boulder across the water. There was a giant weeping willow tree just above the pond with about five-dozen Mason Jars filled with tea lights hanging from the branches.

  “Jensen, this is so beautiful.” I’d never seen such a magical looking place in my life. It was beyond romantic. “You did all this?”

  “That seems to be a very popular question with you,” he teased, referring to the date he’d prepared for us at Old Tily’s. “While we were in the cab I texted Tory to see if she and her friend could light the candles once we were almost back to the beach house. But before I’d gone to your house before you arrived from your trip this was where I was…setting things up.”

  “I’m in shock,” I laughed nervously.

  He let go of my hand and began taking off his shoes and shirt. His faded jeans fell to his feet, the candles flickering as Jensen made his way across the pond to put his clothes on the boulder. I stood across from him, motionless. His long, pale fingers played with the waistband of his boxer briefs, staring at me, satisfied, from across the water.

  Once he saw that I wasn’t moving he calmly walked over to me with contentment. “What are you waiting for?” His muscles were perfect. His arms, so immense, yet appearing soft somehow made him seem menacing in a sexy way. I imagined his arms around me . . . never letting go.

  “I don’t know,” I said. I looked at the still water then up at Jensen’s beautiful face
. His lips were parted, staring at my mouth. I wanted to kiss him. He moved closer to me. His large, soft hand gently removed the sweater from my right shoulder exposing skin he’d never seen before.

  “I have a question for you and I need you to answer honestly.” I raised an eyebrow, unable to speak for the time being; I was in awe of how handsome he was. “Do you feel safe with me?” I nodded my head and bit my bottom lip. “Then...don’t be scared to be with me like this. I swear to you…making love will not be a part of this evening in any way. I respect you too much. I respect…what we have too much.”

  I was so nervous. “I trust you.”

  My coat was the first to go followed by my skirt and top I’d chosen to wear underneath. I found myself standing before him in my undergarments – fully aware of how much I truly liked Jensen. Foolishly I felt a bit ashamed of my body. I pushed that feeling to the side.

  I didn’t care that I’d only known him for a few weeks. I didn’t care that he affected me this way so fast. I didn’t care that I felt more vulnerable than I had in a long time . . . in a good way. Jensen Marx was something special, someone unexpected. His presence always seemed to take me by surprise let alone the surprises he always had in store for me. I was coming around to the idea of surprises being a good thing. Hopefully I’d never under-appreciate the things he selflessly did for me.

  He took my hand and led me to the boulder across the pond where he placed my clothes beside his. Silently he let go of my hand and gracefully made his way into the body of water. Once comfortably placed in the center of the pond he turned to me and smiled joyously.

  “It’s surprisingly warm.”

  “That’s good.”

  “If you come inside I’ll hold you.”

  I blushed. “Are there any fish in there?” I asked in an apprehensive tone.

  “You can go into the lake with tons of fish but not a pond?” he chuckled.

  “It’s different. The lake’s much bigger.”

  “And scarier. There’s only some coy fish in here.”