After Reed Read online

  “Yeah, okay. That’s good, that’s fine. But I’m coming with you.”

  “You don’t have to,” I laughed.

  “Yeah, no, I do,” she said.

  “Fine,” I relented.

  I waited for her to get a folding chair and then I allowed her to follow me out.

  “I’m not an infant,” I reminded.

  “You have no idea what I’ve been through, Leandra. Just please fucking humor me.”

  “Okay,” I said, hating it. I wish I knew what I put her through. It wasn’t fair that I didn’t know but asking just gave me more guilt and she hated my guilt. It was a catch 22.

  I jumped into the water and fought to swim up as I shivered.

  “Shit,” I laughed.

  “You look like an idiot,” Nat teased.

  “I don’t care!” I yelled, shivering. “I need to get stronger.”

  It was my new goal, to be able to walk short distances and not fucking hate myself all the fucking time. Number two was a tall order. But number one could be fixed by a couple swims a day.

  I moved my arms and let them carry me out. Gone were the days of swimming at home just a few steps from my door in my sanitized pool.

  I got a little ways out and then stopped.

  “What is it?” Nat asked, yelling over to me.

  “Nothing,” I yelled back. I was already feeling tired.

  I moved to swim again and felt my foot get touched just a bit.

  “What the fuck…” I snapped my legs up under me and looked around.

  “Okay, if you’re trying to freak me out you’re doing a hell of a good job!” Nat said, watching.

  “Something touched me,” I said.

  “Well, it’s a lake not a pool!”

  “I know…” I said, fixing my hair, sort of paranoid. It didn’t feel like a fish. It felt like a hand.

  I started to swim back slowly and felt my body get tugged down beneath the surface. A hand on my foot, with strength, so familiar.

  Underwater, I fought. I moved to scream but when my eyes opened it was Reed in front of me, smiling under the water. It was just like my dream only real.

  My body came up from the water and I shook.

  “Leandra?”

  Nat was watching me. I felt sort of paralyzed.

  It was Reed. That was definitely Reed beneath the water. That wasn’t a vision. It was too… Real.

  Two seconds later I heard a splash. Nat swam out to me and carried me back to the dock on her back.

  I pulled myself up the ladder and sat on the edge of the dock.

  “What is it?” Nat said. She didn’t care at all that she got all her clothes wet.

  “I…”

  It was crazy.

  It couldn’t be.

  I laughed to myself.

  “Leandra? What happened?”

  I stood up and looked down at the water. I was looking for a sign, anything.

  If Reed was there I’d see blond hair. The water was murky. There wasn’t anything.

  “Hold on,” I said, backing up and running as I threw myself out into the middle and let my body fall deep into the water again.

  I kept my eyes open. I looked everywhere.

  There was nothing…

  When I popped out of the water I looked about.

  “Okay Leandra, get out,” Nat said, grumpily. “You’re freaking me out.”

  “Natalie, I saw her.”

  “Saw her? Saw wh-”

  She cut herself off.

  “Oh hell no,” she laughed bitterly, all frustrated.

  “Come on,” she said.

  I looked about and felt very small.

  I’d heard Reed in the room and something touched my foot and I saw her, I really did.

  Arm reaching over shoulder, first left and then right, I made my way slowly back to the dock and pulled myself out.

  Nat covered me in a towel and hugged me.

  “I just don’t think you’re used to being awake this much,” she confessed.

  She could be right but this was… I couldn’t explain it.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Nat

  Leah was getting better at staying alert.

  Her walk and her swim were both so animated. She was weak for sure but she was getting back into life and she wasn’t hiding any more. A dream here and there wasn’t bad. It boosted her spirits.

  I left her alone after we showered together and I put her in bed. Nora was waiting for me out in the living room.

  “Everything okay?”

  “I dunno,” I said, walking over to sit next to her and cuddle up.

  She opened her arms and moved to make me as comfortable as she could.

  “Mmmm, you smell good,” she said. “What is it this time?”

  “Something weird happened outside,” I said. “Leah sort of… I dunno, she perked up.”

  “Yeah, cold water can do that.”

  “No, it wasn’t that,” I sat up, turning to look at Nora. “She said she saw Reed.”

  “What? In the water?”

  “Yeah,” I said, trying to think about it.

  “Hmm…”

  “She wasn’t scared of her, she was interested. It was like she’d seen Reed alive.”

  “Uh-oh…” Nora said.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Some people invent the things they want,” she warned.

  “Nora, you don’t think she’s doing that do you?”

  “I dunno, she’s having the dreams and writing out stories?”

  “Yeah, but she’s Leandra. She’s herself. There’s nothing missing, there’s nothing added on. You knew her before. She’s just the same.”

  “She’s been through a trauma,” Nora said. “She was in shock for a long time Nat. You lived through that.”

  “Yeah but she saw her, Nor… Out there, just now. She saw Reed, with her eyes. She wasn’t sleeping.”

  “Did you see Reed?” Nora teased.

  “Oh, fuck you,” I said, pushing her.

  “Hey, don’t get me wrong, I would love it if Reed was really there just now. I would absolutely love it. It would fix everything.”

  We both grew quiet after that.

  I tugged on her hand and then kissed it.

  “I told her she wasn’t used to being awake this much,” I mumbled.

  “You told her the truth,” Nora said, leaning forward just enough so she could kiss the side of my head. I let my eyes drift closed for a little bit. “Just give it time,” Nor said. “We have time.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Leah

  This dream wasn’t like the others.

  When I woke up this time I actually felt like my body had been used.

  It wasn’t uninvited. It wouldn’t be, I mean, if it had been real.

  It couldn’t be real though, right?

  I dreamed Reed came to me in this room, she whispered sweet things in my ears and she kissed me all over, slowly reminding me what it once felt like to be really married to her.

  I woke up and it felt like an alarm had gone off but it hadn’t.

  I looked about the room and chuckled.

  “What the fuck was that,” I shook my head.

  It wasn’t until I got to the bathroom though that I really started to freak out.

  “Nnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaatalie?!” I yelled, shaking a lot.

  In the mirror I could see I had hickeys.

  I didn’t have just one, I had several.

  “NATALIE!” I yelled.

  It was creepy. After the thing in the lake?! And that dream?!

  “Leah?!” Nat came running. “What the…”

  “Did you do this?!” I asked, walking toward her and pointing. “Tell me the truth! I won’t be mad!” I was frustrated though. I needed her answer. “What the fuck did you do?!” My eyes squinted closed.

  “Leandra, I-I really didn’t,” she stuttered.

  “Okay, oh-okay- what about Nora then? EleanorAHH!?!” I yelled.

>   “Jesus, can’t we have a normal fucking morning in this house?! Holy GOD! What happened to you?!” Her eyes had bugged out as she noticed the marks and took a step back from my frame.

  “Yoooooooou didn’t do this?!” I asked. My eyes must’ve seemed crazy.

  “Ah-haha,” I started to laugh as Nora shook her head no. “Oh-ohkay, I am reeeeally running out of sanity here. I mean, last night I had the most intense sex dream of my life and I wake up LIKE THIS?!” I yelled, pointing.

  I lifted my shirt up and looked down.

  “Leandra…” Nat noticed. The hickeys were everywhere. She lifted my shirt up over my back to examine me but I had energy now.

  “If this isn’t Reed. If this isn’t FUCKING Reed! What the fuck is it?!” I yelled, pushing to pass them both.

  “I know you’re here!” I said, smiling but a little pissed. “Message received! I mean, little subtle, babe,” I chuckled. I was officially talking to a ghost. But I couldn’t care.

  One or two hickeys could’ve done the job but leave it to Reed to go all out and mark me EVERYWHERE!

  Everything that had happened in that dream must’ve been real.

  “Fuck,” I said, realizing… I felt sore inside because she’d been inside.

  My sex clenched, overly pleased, and I gathered myself momentarily.

  I ran to the back door and opened it, running out to the dock at full speed and throwing myself into the lake.

  This was life!

  “I love you!” I yelled once I came up. “I love you so much!”

  I laid onto my back and let myself float.

  She’d found a way to show me. She’d come to me. She’d made it impossible to deny.

  I wanted more dreams now. If she could really touch me and really talk to me, I was ready for more.

  “Leandra! Get back in here, now! You’re freaking me out!”

  Nat’s voice tried to speak sense but she didn’t know what I knew.

  “I know you’re here,” I whispered. I wanted her to hear me but I didn’t know how this worked.

  Had I activated something? Was it me or her? How could I do it again?

  “LEANDRA!”

  “Fuck…” I mumbled. “Damage control, Reed,” I gave her my excuse.

  Walking back into the house I felt a little heavier.

  “Why do you need me in here?” I asked.

  “I’m gonna take some pictures of you,” Nora said. “I’ve never seen anything like this. You might be sick.”

  “Oh, fuck you,” I said, bothered. “This is Reed! This is CLASSIC Reed. Are you fucking kidding me right now? You’re both really that fucking skeptical?! I have hickeys all over my fucking body. How does someone get hickeys over their ENTIRE body?! I couldn’t do this to myself if I fucking tried. You both know I’m lazy and weak! This is her!”

  “She fucked me last night,” I laughed. “Reed, fucked me. God, she’s insane.”

  “Leandra, you sound …”

  “I don’t care!” I said. “I sound crazy, right?! DID YOU SEE MY FUCKING BODY?! LOOK AT ME!” I said, throwing my wet shirt off and then my pants.

  They could see me better than I could see myself.

  “Uh-oh,” I heard Nora laugh.

  “What?” Nat asked,

  “Right there,” Nora said, making me stay with my back to them.

  “Ah-um. Leah… There may be some clear bite marks on your ass.”

  I started to laugh.

  “OKAY! THERE IT IS! TAKE A PICTURE! PLEASE TAKE A PICTURE! If that’s not proof of Reed’s teeth, I will give you my entire life savings! I swear! It’s her!”

  “She does have a point,” Nora said. She snapped a few pictures. “I think we should do a little research. I mean what if Leah’s being ghost-boned by some pervert imposter?!”

  “Oh right! Cause THAT’S MORE BELIEVABLE! You’re both fucking sick.”

  I pushed past them to find my phone.

  I wanted my own pictures. I wanted proof too even though I was sure.

  “Weird, it’s all blurry,” I muttered. “Stupid motion-sensor crap.”

  I snapped another couple pictures just to make sure I got at least one down on record for myself. I went to the mirror and took full-body ones, a few of the front and then the back but I hated the lighting.

  “We get it Leandra, you love your body,” Nat said, watching me.

  “Shut the fuck up,” I said, all my life back inside me again.

  “I like how unnecessary I am now that you’re having sex with a ghost,” Nat grumbled.

  “You’re not unnecessary,” I said. “I just think you should both be a little more happy about this. Aren’t you happy?”

  “I don’t know how to be,” Nat said. “If it’s really her, I’m happy. Yes.”

  “Are you?” I challenged, turning on her and inspecting her reaction.

  “Leandra, yes,” she laughed, swatting my hand away. “If it’s really Reed. Yes, I’m happy.”

  “Uh-oh,” I muttered. “Think you’re gonna have to prove it to her, babe.”

  “Will you stop talking to it please?!” Nat asked all nervous.

  “It’s not an it. It’s a Reed. And we love Reed’s. We both do.”

  “Can we just wait until you get those teeth marks checked please? I’ve heard way too many stories about demons to just be all happy about this.”

  Nat actually looked a little scared. She rubbed her hand over her stomach a little. She was acting all jumpy.

  I checked my body.

  “Yeah this kinda is A LOT, isn’t it?” I teased, turning around again for her to see.

  Only Reed would mark me this thoroughly.

  “I can’t believe I thought that was all just a dream,” I laughed.

  “Okay,” Nora smiled, coming back over to me. She’d been looking down at her picture of the marks and she was just smiling now. “I know I’m your therapist and I’m supposed to like discourage this shit, but can I just say… WOW!”

  “OW!” Nat said, jumping. She held the back of her head with her hand and looked behind her.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Nat

  This was really freaky. I didn’t do that to Leandra. I didn’t. I mean it. And she was right, that had to be done by a human. It wasn’t something she could do. She wasn’t cruel enough to play this elaborate of a joke. And the happiness on her face was so apparent; she’d even gotten some of her meanness back. I missed it and hated it but I loved her so it was bitter-sweet.

  While she spoke, I kept feeling weird things.

  I knew I was just being jumpy. I was superstitious, Leah knew that about me.

  Catholics aren’t known for their happy ghost tales. Catholics are more about having exorcists on staff. I know that sounds bizarre but it’s fucking true. We have exorcists on staff, it’s not some movie shit. We believe in stigmata and possession. We believe all kinds of things and they’re mostly quite terrifying.

  I felt my shirt move a bit but it was probably the wind from the open window.

  A second passed and I felt a strong hit to the back of my head.

  “Why’d you do that?” I looked to Nora.

  “Do what?” she asked, staring at me like I was crazy.

  “Someone hit me. Someone just hit me in the back of the head.”

  “Ummm, Nat. We’re both over here. How could either of us do that?” Nora asked.

  “You guys…” I felt my leg bouncing as I looked between them. This was really not okay. Dead things touching you? No offense to Reed but this was freaky shit okay?! And it obviously had it out for me, whatever it was.

  “Natalie!” Leah called after me. I heard her footsteps running to catch up. “It’s just Reed. She’s just playing with you.”

  “WHY WOULD DEAD REED HIT ME?! ALL I’VE BEEN DOING FOR MONTHS IS TAKING CARE OF YOU?! WHY WOULD REED ASSAULT ME?!”