Uncle John's Creature Feature Bathroom Reader For Kids Only! Read online

YO, DUDE!

  How do animals say hello?

  HIPPOS are the only animals that can communicate above and below the water.

  KANGAROO RATS talk by stamping their feet.

  PRAIRIE DOGS have one of the most sophisticated animal languages known to science, with more than 100 “words.”

  MALE GIRAFFES press their necks together to practice their fighting skills.

  EXPOSED!

  Hold on to your pants.

  It’s a jungle out there!

  Raja was a 14-year-old orangutan who lived at an ape sanctuary on the Pacific island of Borneo. One day Raja surprised a French tourist by grabbing him, stripping off his shirt, pants, and underwear, and then running off into the forest. The startled Frenchman was left standing alone on the trail…naked.

  YIKES, STRIPES!

  What’s black and white and runs all over…Africa? Answer: the zebra—one of Africa’s strangest creatures. Zebras live in the savannas of central Africa, and they’re closely related to the horse.

  It’s official: Zebras are white with black stripes, not the other way around. So why are they striped? Experts say it’s to confuse predators—from lions to tiny tsetse flies—who can’t tell where one zebra begins and the other ends. Zebras are instinctively attracted to anything with black-and-white stripes. Even if the stripes are painted on a wall, a zebra will go stand next to them!

  Although zebras can be ridden, they can never be domesticated like horses can. Humans have tried for 200 years to get zebras to act like horses, but the zebras refuse to cooperate—they are just too wild and unpredictable to be trained.

  DID YOU KNOW?

  • No two zebra stripe patterns are alike.

  • A zebra crossed with a horse is a zorse. A zebra crossed with a donkey is a zonkey.

  • A zebra’s night vision is as good as an owl’s.

  • Zebras smile. They greet each other with a bared-teeth grimace that helps prevent aggression.

  • Zebras travel in herds of as many as 10,000.

  • Although most zebras are white with black stripes, a few are actually black with white stripes.

  WHAT A BABY!

  BABY HARP SEALS are born with totally white fur. The fur provides camouflage on snow and ice. It changes to waterproof, dark brown fur as they grow older.

  NEWBORN DUCK-BILLED PLATYPUSES have teeth that help them break out of their eggs. The teeth disappear as they get older.

  NEWBORN ARMADILLOS have soft shells, like human fingernails. A natural process called ossification causes their shells to harden into bone.

  BAT BABIES have no hair when they’re born. To keep the babies warm, all of the mother bats and babies huddle together in a bat nursery.

  NEWBORN SKUNKS are born hairless with striped black-and-white skin. Their eyes and ears are closed, but careful—they can still spray!

  BABY BUFFALO are born without horns or a hump—they start to form when the baby is two months old.

  NEWBORN BUSH BABIES are just two inches long and weigh only ½ ounce (about the weight of a tablespoon of water). Bush babies can grow up to be eight inches long—but they will always sound like crybabies. (That’s why they’re called bush babies.)

  POLAR PLUS

  WALRUSES use their tusks like canes to walk on land.

  The male walrus with the longest tusks usually becomes the leader.

  Walruses don’t hunt for food with their tusks, but they do use their whiskers, which can sense the movement of fish.

  CARIBOU can sleep in water.

  SEALS can hold their breath for more than an hour and dive down nearly a mile in the ocean.

  Ever seen a seal scoot across the ground? That scooting motion is known as galluphing.

  AN ARCTIC FOX’S fur can keep it warm and toasty at 100 degrees below zero. At that temperature, you would freeze to death in less than five minutes.

  Arctic fox dens are used for centuries, by many generations of foxes. Over the years they become so big that they can have more than 100 entrances.

  WOLF TALK

  According to scientists, wolves have a unique way of communicating. Here’s how it works.

  BARK: Warning! Danger!

  BARED TEETH: Don’t come any closer.

  WHIMPER: Mother does this to calm the pups.

  HEAD AND EARS UP HIGH: I’m the boss.

  EARS BACK AND SQUINT: I’m afraid.

  DANCE AND BOW: Want to play?

  HIGH WHINE OR SQUEAKING SOUND: Puppies, come here!

  WAG JUST THE TIP OF THE TAIL: I’m about to attack.

  TAIL BETWEEN LEGS: You’re the boss.

  WOLF HOWL: Everyone! Bring the pack together!

  DID YOU KNOW?

  • A wolf’s pawprint can be bigger than a human hand.

  • A wolf’s tail hangs, while a dog’s tail tends to stick up.

  • A dog’s ears are pointed; a wolf’s are rounded.

  • Every wolf pack has a leader. He’s called the alpha male.

  GOING BATTY

  • There are about 1,000 types of bats.

  • Disc-winged bats of South America have sticky patches on their wings and feet, which allow them to live inside banana leaves.

  • Bats are the only mammal that can truly fly.

  • Generally, bats will turn left when coming out of a cave.

  • The scientific name for bat is Chiroptera, which is Greek for “hand-wing.”

  • Vampire bats adopt orphans.

  • A bat’s leg bones are too thin to walk on.

  • Woolly bats of West Africa live in the large webs of colonial spiders.

  • A bat can eat as many as 1,200 insects in an hour.

  • Texas has more bats than any other state. Bracken Cave alone is home to 20 million Mexican free-tailed bats.

  LIFE ON EASY CREEK

  In 2004 someone pulled a heist at the Lucky Dollar Casino in Greensburg, Louisiana, and stole $75,000. Sheriff’s deputies tracked down the crooks but couldn’t find the stolen money. Then a lawyer hoping to make a deal for one of the crooks called prosecutors and revealed that the money had been tossed into a nearby creek.

  Officers raced to the creek and found one of the money bags floating in the brush and another leaning against a beaver dam.

  When they drained the pond, they found the third bag…empty. Apparently a pair of beavers had found it first, and had woven thousands of soggy bills into the walls of their dam. When cops broke open the dam to retrieve the bills, they couldn’t believe their eyes—the interior looked like it had been decorated with money wallpaper!

  WRONG!

  Some animal names just don’t fit.

  FLYING FOXES aren’t foxes. They’re bats. They live in Australia and they’re huge. In fact, with a wingspan of up to six feet, they’re the largest bats in the world! And, unlike foxes, they eat only fruit.

  MOUNTAIN BEAVERS aren’t beavers and they don’t live in the mountains. They are muskratlike rodents that live mostly in the coastal forests of the Pacific Northwest. With their short, stubby bodies and no tail, they look like groundhogs.

  CRABEATER SEALS do not eat crabs! They eat krill, a tiny shrimplike animal in the icy waters around Antarctica. They were misnamed in 1837 by the French explorer Jules Dumont d’Urville.

  PRAIRIE DOGS are not dogs—they’re rodents. They live in large underground colonies called townships. However, they do have a sharp bark that sounds like a dog’s.

  PICK THE WEIRDEST NOSE

  STAR-NOSED MOLES have the most complex noses in the animal kingdom. Their noses have tentacles, which they use to detect insect prey. No other nose is as sensitive to the touch (or as weird looking) as the star-nosed mole’s.

  BATS can detect the warmth of an animal from six inches away using their “nose-leaf.”

  The male PROBOSCIS MONKEY has a really big nose—sometimes it’s so big the monkey has to hold it aside with one hand so it can eat! The purpose of giant schnoz is unclear, but scientists think it may help the monk
eys stay cool in the humid swamps of southeast Asia.

  ANIMAL NEWS

  INVASION OF THE ARMADILLOS

  A stranger is taking over our farms, forests, and neighborhoods! An invader from Central America, protected by bands of sturdy body armor, is expanding its range across the United States 10 times faster than other mammals. As many as 50 million of these invaders are already here.

  Who is this creature? It’s the nine-banded armadillo. This rabbit-sized mammal prospers in areas where others fail. Why? Because the armadillo not only has lots of babies but also chooses when to have them. The pregnant female can delay birth for up to two years until she finds a safe place to raise her kids. (The armadillo is the only mammal that always has four identical girls or boys.) Plus, an armadillo can live up to 20 years, which means that just a few armadillos can quickly take over a new area.

  Can anything stop the armadillo from overrunning North America? Yes. Cold. Armadillos don’t like it. They can’t survive temperatures below freezing. So those of you in Alaska, Montana, Minnesota, and all of those icy northern states can relax. The armadillo invasion won’t be coming your way.

  ARMOR-DILLOS

  • There are 20 species of armadillo, but the nine-banded armadillo is the only one that lives in North America. The other 19 live in South America.

  • Startle an armadillo and it will jump three to four feet straight up in the air!

  • Armadillos walk on their tiptoes.

  • The giant armadillo can weigh over 120 pounds and be up to five feet long.

  • Armadillos eat six billion pounds of bugs in the U.S. every year!

  • An armadillo without its shell looks like a hairless rabbit.

  WILD AND WOOLLY FACT

  Armadillos are the submarines of the animal world. Their heavy shells make them sink, so they can walk along the bottom of a river. If they want to float, they gulp air into their intestines and float on the surface like a balloon.

  BRIGHT IDEAS

  Some examples of how humans take care of troubled animals.

  PROBLEM: Too many squirrels from a rare colony in England were being killed while crossing a busy highway.

  SOLUTION: The authorities built rope bridges to help the squirrels get safely to the other side of the road.

  PROBLEM: Orphaned baby kangaroos, or joeys, can’t survive for long outside their mother’s pouch.

  SOLUTION: Australians make cotton “joey bags” that resemble kangaroo pouches and hang them from baby bouncer frames. The orphan joey stays inside until it grows fur and can survive on its own.

  PROBLEM: During a fire, pets are far more sensitive to the effects of smoke than humans are.

  SOLUTION: A Florida fire department got some specially sized oxygen masks from a local vet. Now cats, dogs, and even hamsters suffering from smoke inhalation can be given a breath of life-saving air.

  GHOST PETS

  GHOST RIDERS IN THE SKY

  In the suburbs of Chicago there is a horseriding trail that crosses a very busy street. Over its long history, many riders and horses have been killed trying to cross the street. A traffic light was finally placed there, which made it much safer. But now, when it’s night or near dusk, some drivers have reported seeing what appears to be a horse and rider trying to cross the street. The motorists slow down, trying to get a better view, and suddenly the ghostly duo just disappears into thin air. Other ghostly steeds have been seen: one throwing his rider from the saddle and another being dragged sideways down the highway.

  WAKE UP, WALTER!

  One day, Walter Manuel of Los Angeles dreamed that his dog Lady was barking frantically trying to wake him. Lady had died just three weeks earlier, but the dream seemed so real that he couldn’t help rushing to the bedroom window to see if anything was wrong. He was shocked to see his two-year-old son fall into the swimming pool. Thanks to Lady’s ghost, Manuel was able to save his little boy.

  WATER DOGS

  They’re wet and wild (and woolly).

  SCUBA-DOO

  Shadow is a half golden, half Labrador retriever from Boynton Beach, Florida, who loves to spend time not just in the water—but under the water. Shadow is a scuba diver. Using special dive gear designed by her owner, Dwane Folsom, Shadow can stay underwater for an hour. Her favorite dive buddy, other than Dwane, is a moray eel.

  X-TREME MASTER

  Part-X is running out of extreme sports to try. This Jack Russell terrier from Cornwall, England, has mastered surfing, cliff-jumping, rappelling, and sea kayaking. Now he’s learning to water ski in his own custom-made life jacket. Part-X got the bug for extreme sports in 2000 when he jumped on his owner’s surf board and rode his first wave. “Whenever we go near moving water Part-X gets really, really excited,” says owner J.P. Eatock. “He even tries to woof and bite the wave as we surf.” Next: crossing the Irish Sea by kayak and a tandem sky dive with J.P.

  I’M BACK!

  Three stories about pets that found their way home.

  AUSTRALIAN WALKABOUT. In October 1973 a collie named Whisky became separated from his master while vacationing in Darwin in northern Australia. Nine months later, Whisky had found his way home. The collie had traveled an amazing 1,802 miles across Australia— and through the rugged Outback—to reach the southern city of Melbourne…and his master’s home.

  DODGING BULLETS. When Private James Brown went to France to fight in World War I, he left his Irish terrier, Prince, at home in England. A month later, on September 27, 1914, his wife wrote to him with the sad news that Prince was missing. The letter didn’t upset Private Brown—his devoted dog had already joined him in the trenches. Prince had somehow crossed the English Channel (probably as a stowaway on a boat) and walked another 60 miles through battlefields to find his best friend in Armentières, France. That was a trip of 200 miles.

  MARATHON CAT. A tabby cat named McCavity didn’t like his new home in Cumbernauld, Scotland, even though his family was with him. One day he just up and left. Three weeks and 497 miles later, McCavity was found meowing at the front door of his old home in Truro, England. McCavity had walked 25 miles a day for 21 days—that’s almost a marathon a day.

  DREAMING OF CATS

  According to some dream experts…

  • If you dream of a tortoise-shell cat, you’ll be lucky in love.

  • If you dream of a ginger (orange) cat, you’ll be lucky in money and business.

  • If you dream of a tabby cat, you’ll be lucky at home.

  • If you dream of a black-and-white cat, you’ll be lucky with children.

  • If you dream of a multi-colored cat, you’ll be lucky with making new friends.

  • If you dream of a black cat, you’ll be lucky in all things.

  FOND FAREWELLS

  They loved their pets so much that when they died...

  King Charles IX of France had his greyhound Courte made into hunting gloves.

  King Edward VII of England had his terrier Jack’s hair made into a bracelet.

  Roy Rogers, the singing cowboy movie star of the 1950s, had his horse, Trigger, and his dog, Bullet, stuffed and put on display at the Roy Rogers and Dale Evans Museum in Branson, Missouri.

  ANIMAL EPITAPHS

  A few funny epitaphs found on tombstones in New York’s Hartsdale Canine Cemetery, America’s first pet cemetery.

  Grumpy

  “His sympathetic love and understanding enriched our lives”

  Thor Dog

  “A cat”

  Penny

  “She never knew she was a rabbit”

  Hoppy

  “Our three-legged wonder”

  GOTTA GO!

  PACHYDERM POTTY

  Elephants in Thailand are already taught to paint, dance, and play musical instruments. What’s next? They’re being toilet trained.

  Notes from an Old Sea Dog

  Ahoy, Kids!

  It’s me, Porter the Wonder Dog…again. As a Portuguese Water Dog (that’s really what I am), I thought I knew
a thing or two about the sea. But it turns out there’s more to it than just “it’s wet, and you swim in it.” Other things swim in it, too. There’s sharks, lobsters, sharks, krill, sharks, whales, sharks, plankton, sharks, dolphins, and a whole lot of other slimy, finny, and scary creatures. And sharks.

  So have fun with Part Two of Creature Feature:

  Under the Slimy Sea!

  (And watch out for sharks.)

  MR. BLOBBY

  People have always wondered what lurks in the deepest parts of the ocean. Now scientists are beginning to find out—and the results aren’t pretty…

  Meet Mr. Blobby. He’s a blobfish. (He’s sometimes called a fathead fish, too, but why add insult to injury?) He’s only one foot in length, and lives 3,000 feet below the surface. This part of the ocean is called the mesopelagic zone, also known as the “twilight zone” because very little sunlight reaches it. This guy looks like a blob of Jell-O because that’s pretty much what he is. His goopy flesh is just a bit lighter than water, so he doesn’t need to use any muscles or oxygen to keep from sinking to the bottom. Like many creatures that live at this great depth, blobfish are “sit-and-wait” predators—they wait patiently for their dinner to drift within reach of their mouths. Then…gulp!