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  SECRET LOVE AFFAIR

  Peter and Katherine Soffel were in the midst of a divorce when the Biddles arrived at the Allegheny County Jail. Katherine, who had previously spent time in an asylum, showed no interest in her husband. Instead, she spent most of her time visiting the prisoners, offering them spiritual advice and bringing them Bibles. For the inmates, Katherine Soffel was a welcome sight. They called her “Queen of the Jail.”

  President Lyndon Johnson had an aunt named Frank. (Her parents wanted a son.)

  She first went to see the Biddles out of curiosity; their exploits throughout the Midwest had made them somewhat notorious. Ed’s charm and good looks soon won her over, though. She became infatuated and visited him more and more often, at least 25 times over the next few months, sneaking him food and books. The warden knew his wife had taken an interest in the outlaw but must not have realized just how keen an interest. He allowed her to keep visiting.

  After a few months, Ed and Jack convinced Katherine that they were innocent and asked her to help them escape so they could live honest lives as coal miners in Canada. She agreed.

  DARING ESCAPE

  As luck would have it, Ed’s cell could be seen from Katherine’s bedroom window. The two designed a secret alphabet code with which Katherine could point to various body parts, representing different letters, and spell out messages about the warden’s movements. This allowed the Biddles to devise a plan. Then they had Katherine—at great risk to herself—smuggle in two saws and a revolver.

  On Wednesday night, January 29, 1902, the boys cut through their cell bars. They apprehended three guards and locked them in a cell. As they were leaving the prison, they were met by a waiting Katherine, which was not a part of the plan. She was supposed to lay low and meet them in Canada a month later. But Katherine, mad with love, took a page out of the Biddles’ book and chloroformed her husband, then snuck away in the night. She didn’t want to be away from Ed Biddle.

  The warden awoke to a nasty headache and an empty house. When he was told the Biddle Boys had escaped, he knew Katherine was involved and immediately put out an all-points-bulletin on the three of them.

  ON THE RUN

  Meanwhile, Ed agreed to let Katherine come along, much to the dismay of Jack, who thought she’d slow them down. But Ed was the boss. They stole a horse and a sleigh from a nearby farm and made it to Cooperstown, 38 miles north of Pittsburgh. They planned to have a quiet breakfast there and slip away unnoticed, but news of the breakout had beat them to the town. The Pennsylvania winter was harsh, and the three fugitives didn’t have any warm clothes. They were easily identified and the police were now hot on their trail. They stopped for lunch in Mount Chestnut, 54 miles from Pittsburgh, and Ed and Katherine consummated their relationship. Time, however, was running out.

  There are enough calories in a Big Mac to run a vacuum cleaner for 98 minutes.

  FINAL SHOWDOWN

  With their horse and sleigh, the Biddle Boys and Katherine Soffel left Mount Chestnut on the snowy afternoon of January 31, 1902. They had only traveled a few miles when a posse met them head-on at the crest of a hill. Ed stopped the sleigh, handed the reins to Katherine, and he and Jack jumped off, each with gun in hand. The sherriff told them to surrender. Ed told them to go to hell and opened fire. The lawmen responded with a hail of bullets.

  When the shootout was over, Ed was shot twice, Jack 15 times, and Katherine—who had grabbed a gun and joined in the fray—was shot once by Ed after pleading for him to take her life. She didn’t want to live without him.

  The three were taken to nearby Butler Hospital. Katherine’s wound was treatable; Ed and Jack were not so lucky. As they lay on their deathbeds, they told police varying accounts of what had happened. Ed claimed he’d never loved Katherine, that he just used her to help him escape. Katherine claimed that Ed was just saying that to protect her. Love letters he wrote her while still in prison backed her up, but only Ed knew for sure. He and Jack both died on the night of February 1, 1902.

  POSTMORTEM

  The Biddle Boys’ bodies were put on display at the Allegheny County Jail for two hours. More than 4,000 people came to see the famous bandits. Katherine served 20 months in prison and lived out the rest of her life in shame. She died a brokenhearted woman on August 30, 1909.

  “We wouldn’t have been captured if we hadn’t stuck to the woman.”

  —Jack Biddle

  Q: How many toothpicks can you make from one cord of wood? A: 75 million.

  IT’S A WEIRD, WEIRD WORLD

  Proof that truth really is stranger than fiction.

  WORD RAGE

  “A man who becomes upset when he hears certain words was sentenced to six years in prison for shooting his girlfriend because he thought she was about to say ‘New Jersey.’ Thomas Mitchell, 54, was convicted earlier this month of aggravated assault for shooting Barbara Jenkins in March 1999. Jenkins survived the attack. His relatives testified that Mitchell gets angry, curses and bangs on walls when he hears certain words or phrases, including ‘New Jersey,’ ‘Snickers,’ ‘Mars,’ and ‘Wisconsin.’”

  —Associated Press

  CUT IT OUT

  “An Oregon man who was shot in the leg removed the bullet himself with an X-acto knife, and then sold it back to the shooter for $200 to hinder the prosecution’s case against him.”

  —The Bend Bulletin

  A STONE’S THROW AWAY

  “More than 600 people were injured in this year’s Stone-Throwing Festival in central India. The ritual, in which residents of two villages form groups on either side of the river Jaam and hurl stones at each other, is held every year. Last year, only 250 were injured.”

  —Reuters

  INDECENT PROPOSAL

  “Who said romance is dead? Twenty-five-year-old Paul Armstrong proposed to his girlfriend by having ‘Connie, Will You Marry Me?’ tattooed on his butt, which she then discovered while giving him a massage. ‘How could I say no after that?’ said Connie, a school-teacher. A week later, he discovered on her rear end the tattoo, ‘Yes!’ And they were married.”

  —London Daily Telegraph

  What did they use before that? The first chalkboard was used in a school in 1714.

  Q&A: ASK THE EXPERTS

  Everyone’s got a question or two they’d like answered—basic stuff, like “Why is the sky blue?” Here are a few of those questions, with answers from some of the nation’s top trivia experts.

  THEY’RE NO CHICKENS

  Q: Do ostriches bury their heads in the sand?

  A: “No, they do not. This ancient belief may have come about because baby ostriches often fall on the ground and stretch out their long necks when they are frightened. This largest of all birds cannot fly and therefore does need protection, but burying its head is not the answer. The ostrich’s protection from danger lies in its very powerful legs and its ability to run at speeds of about 40 miles an hour.” (From The Question and Answer Book of Nature, by John R. Saunders)

  HOT STUFF

  Q: What makes food sizzle?

  A: “There is water inside food. When you put it in a hot pan, the water comes out in tiny drops. As soon as they hit the hot pan, the drops dance around, exploding into little puffs of steam. Dancing and exploding, they make little waves in the air that travel to your ears as a sizzling sound.” (From Why Does Popcorn Pop?, by Catherine Ripley)

  THAT’S SWELL

  Q: Why do your feet swell up in an airplane?

  A: “It is a common myth that feet swell up when you ride in an airplane because of changes in atmospheric pressure due to high elevation. Feet swell up on planes, especially during long flights, for the same reason they swell up on the ground—inactivity.

  “And it does not matter if you leave your shoes on or off; they will swell either way. If left on, they will provide external support, but will inhibit circulation a bit more and probably feel tighter during the latter part of the flight. If taken off, comfort may be increased, but the shoes
are likely to be more difficult to put on once the flight is over.

  More Americans claim German ancestry (46.5%) than any other. Irish ancestry is #2 at 33%.

  “Podiatrists normally recommend ‘airplane aerobics’ to help circulation—including help for swelling feet.” (From The Odd Body: Mysteries of Our Weird and Wonderful Bodies Explained, by Dr. Stephen Juan)

  STORM’S A-BREWIN’

  Q: Why do clouds darken to a very deep gray just before it’s about to rain or prior to a heavy thunderstorm?

  A: “Clouds normally appear white when the light which strikes them is scattered by the small ice or water particles from which they are composed. However, as the size of these ice and water particles increases—as it does just before clouds begin to deposit rain—this scattering of light is increasingly replaced by absorption. As a result, much less light reaches the observer on the ground below and the clouds look darker.” (From The Last Word 2, edited by Mick O’Hare)

  MY HEART GOES BOOM!

  Q: If nitroglycerin is an explosive, why don’t people who take nitroglycerin for heart conditions explode?

  A: “We all know that nitroglycerin is a highly explosive compound. It’s a volatile chemical cocktail combining carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, and oxygen. ‘Nitro’ taken in pill form helps heart patients by acting directly on the wall of the blood vessels. It dilates the vessels, which both increases the blood supply to the heart and reduces the work of the heart by reducing blood pressure.

  “But according to Dr. Thomas Robertson, chief of the cardiac diseases branch of the U.S. National Institutes of Health, the amount of ‘nitro’ in heart medications is too small to cause any possible danger of a patient exploding—even if the patient overdosed a little and jumped up and down.” (From The Odd Body: Mysteries of Our Weird and Wonderful Bodies Explained, by Dr. Stephen Juan)

  Youth is a malady of which one becomes cured a little every day.

  —Italian proverb

  Q: How did cranberries get their name?…

  FREE PORK WITH HOUSE

  Have you ever been stuck in the bathroom with nothing to read? (Our greatest fear.) Try flipping through the classifieds to look for ones like these.

  FREE

  Beautiful 6-month-old kitten, playful, friendly, very affectionate OR… Handsome 32-year-old husband—personable, funny, good job, but hates cats. Says he goes or cat goes. Come see both and decide which you’d like.

  Free! 1 can of pork & beans with purchase of 3-Bedroom, 2-bath home

  German Shepherd 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.

  FOR SALE

  1-man, 7-woman hot tub, $850

  Amana Washer Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.

  Cows, Calves never bred… also 1 gay bull for sale.

  Tickle Me Elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 Mustang, 5l, Auto, Excellent Condition $6800

  Georgia Peaches California Grown—89¢ lb.

  Fully cooked boneless smoked man—$2.09 lb.

  Kellogg’s Pot Tarts: $1.99 Box

  Exercise equipment: Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs—$175

  Used tombstone, perfect for someone named Homer Hendelbergenheinzel. One only.

  For Sale: Lee Majors (6 Million Dollar Man)—$50

  Turkey for sale: Partially eaten, eight days old, drumsticks still intact. $23 obo

  MISCELLANEOUS

  Have Viagra. Need woman, any woman between 18 & 80.

  Shakespeare’s Pizza—Free Chopsticks

  Hummels—Largest selection. “If it’s in stock, we have it!”

  Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You’ll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

  Hairobért: If we can’t make you look good…You ugly!

  Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

  …A: From crane berry—they grow on a stalk that looks like a crane’s neck.

  LUCKY FINDS

  Ever found something really valuable? It’s one of the best feelings in the world. Here’s an installment of a regular Bathroom Reader feature.

  HONEST STAN

  The Find: $20,000

  Where It Was Found: In a drawer

  The Story: On January 29, 2002, home inspector Stan Edmunds was checking out a house in Hinsdale, New Hampshire, for a prospective buyer. To get to the attic, he had to go through a closet, and an odd wooden shelf support kept catching his eye. The third time through, he pulled on it—and out slid a hidden drawer. Inside it: $20,000 in $100 bills.

  Edmunds could have put it in his pocket and walked away, but he didn’t—he called the real-estate agent. The agent contacted the heirs of the homeowner, who divided the money up. And one of them sent Edmunds a check for his honesty…for $50. He said he would be donating it to charity.

  CHICAGO HOPE

  The Find: Superbowl Championship ring

  Where It Was Found: In a couch

  The Story: In 1996 retired Hall of Fame running back Walter Payton was coaching a high school basketball team outside of Chicago. As an exercise in trust, he gave one of the boys, Nick Abruzzo, his 1986 Superbowl ring—complete with his name and 41 diamonds—to hold for a few days. Nick and his friends passed it around in awe…and then lost it.

  Five years later, college student Phil Hong bought an old couch for his dorm room from his friend Joe Abruzzo—Nick’s younger brother. One day, while looking in the couch for a lost dog toy, he found the ring. The longtime Chicago fan knew what it was immediately. “Growing up, Walter Payton was my idol,” he said. Unfortunately, Payton died of cancer in 1999, but Hong returned the ring to his widow, Connie Payton. “This ring was what he worked for his whole life,” he said. “It needs to be back in the family.”

  In Greenland there’s a place called Thank God Harbor.

  HANGING IN PLAIN SIGHT

  The Find: Masterpiece painting

  Where It Was Found: Hanging on a wall

  The Story: In July 2001, an elderly couple in Cheltenham, England, decided to sell an old painting that had been hanging on a wall in their house for decades. They figured it was worth a few thousand dollars. They wrapped it in a blanket and took it to Christie’s auction house. “They arrived in their van and I came outside to look at what they had,” said appraiser Alexander Pope. “It was a classic valuation moment.” It turned out to be a masterpiece by 17th-century French artist Nicolas Poussin. Sale price at auction: $600,000.

  GIVE ME A RING SOMETIME

  The Find: Diamond ring

  Where It Was Found: In a bar in Vancouver, British Columbia

  The Story: In 1998 a man selling costume jewelry approached 21-year-old Tanya Tokevich while she was sitting in a Vancouver bar. She ended up buying a ring for $20. “It didn’t look like much,” she said. “It was dull, but I just thought it was nice.” She decided to have it appraised to find out whether she’d gotten a good deal. She had. It wasn’t costume jewelry—it was an antique engagement ring with a 2.05-carat diamond worth $11,000.

  THE CASE OF THE MISSING LIST

  The Find: Famous list

  Where It Was Found: In a suitcase in Germany

  The Story: When a Stuttgart couple found an old suitcase in their parent’s loft after they died in 1999, they didn’t think much of it—until they saw the name on the handle: O. Schindler. Inside were hundreds of documents—including a list of the names of the Jewish slave-laborers and their fake jobs that factory owner Oskar Schindler gave to the Nazis during WWII. The bold move saved 1,200 Jews from extermination and inspired the movie Schindler’s List. Apparently, friends of Schindler’s had used the loft as a storage space decades earlier and then forgot about it. The couple gave the suitcase and all the documents to a newspaper, but asked for no money in return. It now resides in Yad Vashem Holocaust Museum, in Jerusalem.

  Makes sense: Radish comes from the Latin radix, meaning “root.”

  CLIFF’S NOTES

  Some questionab
le wisdom from one of our heroes, Cliff Clavin, the know-it-all mailman from the 1980s TV sitcom Cheers.

  On suntans:

  “It’s a little-known fact that the tan became popular in what is now known as the Bronze Age.”

  On Freud:

  “A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

  On intelligence:

  “The human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”