Uncle John's Top Secret Bathroom Reader for Kids Only! Read online

  To create one second of motion in an animated cartoon, artists must make 12 drawings.

  HP. When Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard founded their electronics company in 1939, they tossed a coin to decide whether it would be called Packard-Hewlett or Hewlett-Packard. Bill won.

  Java. Originally James Gosling called his programming language “Oak,” after a tree that stood outside his window. But someone was already using that name, so in 1992 his programming team picked “Java,” after their favorite drink—coffee.

  Microsoft. In 1975 Bill Gates and Paul Allen created a company dedicated to building microcomputer software. Gates took the first half of each word and named the company Micro-Soft. He later dropped the hyphen between the two words.

  Motorola. Today Motorola makes microchips, but back in the 1930s, Paul Galvin’s company made car radios. Victrola was the most popular manufacturer of phonographs, so Galvin added motor to the ola and came up with “Motorola” as a way of saying “sound in motion.”

  Yahoo! Author Jonathan Swift first used the word yahoo over 250 years ago in his famous book, Gulliver’s Travels. It means a person who is rude and repulsive in appearance and action. In 1994 Jerry Yang and David Filo chose that name for their popular Internet gateway because they considered themselves to be major yahoos.

  Why is October the longest month? It has 31 days plus an extra hour (daylight saving time).

  IN THE FUTURE…

  People keep coming up with ways to make things easier and easier—and we’re not done yet!

  DIRTY DISHES

  Today’s Problem: Your mom says, “Wash the dishes,” but you’ve just learned in science class that every family needs to learn how to conserve water and energy.

  Tomorrow’s Solution: Clean those dishes with sound-waves! No water, no soap, no heat, no drying—and it only takes a minute. Ultrasonic cleaning machines use sound frequencies that are too high for humans to hear—but they’re just the right frequency to knock dirt off dishes with sonic vibrations. We already have machines that combine ultrasonic frequencies with water to clean airplane parts, jewelry, and teeth (you might even have an ultrasonic toothbrush in your bathroom). Engineers still have to figure out a way to do it without using water, but once they do, ultrasonic dish cleaning will have arrived.

  LONG LINES

  Today’s Problem: You and your dad want to get in and out of the grocery store quickly. But even the express checkout line is backed up all the way down the aisle. You’re stuck—argh!

  Tomorrow’s Solution: Soon you’ll be able to shop till you drop and never have to wait in line. The same E-Z Pass technology that lets a car skip through a tollbooth on a bridge or highway is coming to a store near you. A scanner will read the prices of all of your groceries as you push your cart through the checkout and automatically charge your credit card. And you’ll be out of there before you know it!

  Shrek got his name from the German word schreck, which means a “fright” or a “scare.”

  SMART SNEAKERS

  Today’s Problem: You’re out shooting hoops with your friends. You fake right and drive for the basket and—ouch—you twist your ankle.

  Tomorrow’s Solution: Smart sneakers! The research people at Nike and Reebok say they’ll soon have shoes that respond to each person’s unique stride, jump, step, and hop. By sensing your movements with an imbedded computer chip, the sneakers will instantly mold their shape to your foot. No more twisted ankles. No more tweaked knees. Bonus: These smart sneakers will also be able to tell your coach just how far and how fast you ran. (No more faking it!)

  LAND-SEA ROVER

  Today’s Problem: Your family wants to go waterskiing, but first you have to hitch your boat to the car, drive to a lake, unload the boat, gas it up, and then find a parking spot. By the time you get in the water, half your day’s gone.

  Tomorrow’s Solution: Researchers at Gibbs Technology in England are testing a new sports car that drives on the water as well as on land. They call it the Aquada. On land it can zoom along at 100 miles per hour. Want to hit the water? Flip a switch—the wheels retract, the jet propulsion system kicks in, and it zips around at 30 mph. Yee-haw!

  Sir Isaac Newton spent years trying to predict when the world would end. He guessed 1948.

  * * *

  WACKY “HOLIDAYS”

  January 3: Drinking Straw Day

  January 16: National Nothing Day

  January 21: Squirrel Appreciation Day

  February 15: National I Want Butterscotch Day

  March 15: Act Happy Day

  April 10: National Siblings Day

  May 1: Mother Goose Day

  June 19: Join Hands Day

  July 3: Compliment Your Mirror Day

  July 7: Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day

  July 19: Cow Appreciation Day

  July 27: Take Your Houseplant for a Walk Day

  August 7: Mustard Day

  September 19: Talk Like a Pirate Day (Aarrrgh!)

  September 22: Elephant Appreciation Day

  October 31: National Knock-Knock Day

  November 26: Buy Nothing Day

  December 11: Day of the Horse

  When astronauts sleep, their arms float out in front of their bodies.

  SECRET MESSAGE

  Want to write notes that your parents and teachers can’t read? Of course you do. Here’s how.

  CREATING A CODE

  A St. Cyr Cipher slide (named after the French military academy where it was invented in the 1800s) is an easy-to-make coding and decoding device. It is made from two pieces of paper. The first piece is called “the mask.” It has two slits at each end and has the alphabet printed on it once. The second piece of paper is called “the strip.” The strip is longer than the mask and has the alphabet printed twice on it.

  To work the slide, you pull the strip through the mask. You pull the strip so that the letters on it align with different letters on the mask. For example, in the diagram below, A=E, B=F, D=H, and so on.

  Supplies: paper, scissors, ruler, and pen or pencil

  Instructions:

  1. Cut a piece of paper 2 inches wide and 6 inches long. About inch from each end, cut 2 vertical slits a little more than inch long (see diagram). This is the mask.

  The smell of minty toothpaste can attract bears.

  2. At the top of the mask above the strip and between the slits, write the alphabet, spacing the letters evenly apart as shown.

  3. Cut another piece of paper slightly less than inch wide and 11 inches long. This is the strip.

  4. Write the alphabet on the strip two times in a row.

  5. Slip the strip into the mask.

  6. Now you can create your own secret message! First, write your real message on a sheet of paper.

  7. To encode your message, pick a letter on the mask (any letter) and slide the strip to line up the first letter in your message under it. These two letters are now “the key.” Without moving the strip, encode your message by switching the real letters in your message to the letters on the mask one by one, and writing them down.

  8. To decipher a message, just reverse the process.

  Use the picture on the previous page to decipher this important message:

  OMHW VYPI, EHYPXW HVSSP!

  What does it say? For the answer, turn to page 284.

  The Japanese throw away about 25 billion pairs of disposable chopsticks every year.

  GULLFRIENDS

  Seagulls, it seems, have personalities. They can be nice and friendly…or mean and vindictive!

  GOOD GULL

  Eighty-two-year-old Rachel Flynn lived with her sister June on the rugged coast of Cape Cod, Massachusetts. They made a habit of feeding a seagull that came to their house every day. Eventually they became so attached to the bird that they gave it a name—Nancy.

  One day in 1980, while Rachel was taking her usual walk along the high cliffs near their home, she slipped off the edge of the path and fell 32 feet onto a
n isolated beach below. Because she had fallen between two boulders, she couldn’t move. Rachel was certain no one would find her…and that she would die there.

  To the Rescue!

  Just when Rachel was about to give up hope, she spied a seagull circling above her. Could it possibly be her gull? Rachel cried out, “For God’s sake, Nancy, get help!” and the seagull flew off.

  A mile away, June was working in the kitchen when she heard an insistent tapping at her window. Looking outside, she saw the gull flapping its wings frantically and “making more noise than a wild turkey.”

  June tried to shoo the bird away, but Nancy kept up the racket, flapping and pecking at the windowpane for 15 minutes. Finally, June decided that the bird must be trying to tell her something. She went outside and watched the seagull fly off toward the beach, then come back to June, as if saying, “Follow me.” So she did.

  Q: What’s the anatomical juxtaposition of 2 orbicularis oris muscles in contraction? A: A kiss.

  Nancy led June straight to the edge of the cliff. June peered over the edge, saw her sister lying helpless below, and immediately ran back to call the rescue squad. Rachel was saved, and Nancy the seagull was declared a hero!

  BAD GULL

  In June 1994, Don Weston of Gloucester, England, heard a young seagull squawking in his driveway. He took pity on the little bird and set it on the roof of his house to keep it safe from cats and dogs. A few hours later, it flew away.

  Weston thought the seagull would be grateful that he’d saved its life, but the bird seems to feel quite the opposite. Every June, the angry seagull comes back to torment Weston. Every time the bird catches sight of him, it goes berserk. It dive-bombs him, pecks at his head, and poops on him. It has even stalked him through the city by air.

  Weston knows it’s the same gull because he recognizes its distinctive squawking. He says it sounds “like a banshee wailing.” He has nightmares about the demon bird and dreads the coming of June. The really bad news: Seagulls can live for 25 years.

  Who wood know? A two-by-four actually measures 1 1/2 by 3 1/2 inches.

  NAMED AFTER A KID

  Wouldn’t it be cool to have something named after you? You would be famous forever!

  ADOLL

  This famous doll was named after a real girl. Her name was Barbara, and she was the daughter of Ruth and Elliot Handler, who owned the Mattel Toy Company. Mrs. Handler noticed that her preteen daughter, Barbara, had lost interest in baby dolls. Instead she was cutting out pictures of young women in magazines and pasting clothes on them. So Mrs. Handler invented a new kind of doll and called it—you guessed it—Barbie. Mattel introduced the Barbie doll in 1959, and since then it’s become the most popular doll of all time. More than 500 million have been sold. In fact, three Barbie dolls are sold every second of the day!

  A CARTOON CHARACTER

  In 1947 cartoonist Hank Ketcham and his wife, Alice, welcomed their bouncing baby boy into the world and named him Dennis. From the beginning, Dennis was a rambunctious kid. By age four, Ketcham said Dennis was “too young for school, too big for his playpen, too small to hit, not old enough for jail—and 100% anti-establishment.” One day during his supposed nap, little Dennis tore apart his bedroom. Then, to make matters worse, he spread peanut butter and the contents of a loaded diaper all over the room. Alice Ketcham told her husband, “Your son is a menace!”

  Barbie has had more than 80 careers, including rock star, paleontologist, and presidential candidate.

  Mrs. Ketcham’s comment inspired her husband to draw a proposal for a one-panel comic strip about a loveable boy who was full of mischief. He named it Dennis the Menace. The comic strip debuted March 12, 1951, and by the end of the year, Dennis the Menace was a feature in 100 newspapers around the country. Since that star-studded beginning, Dennis the Menace has been turned into a book series, a cartoon, two live-action TV series, and several movies.

  A COMPUTER

  In January 1983, Apple Computer introduced a personal computer that had cost $50 million to develop. It was the first personal computer to use a GUI (Graphical User Interface), which allowed the user to create pictures. It was also the first personal computer to use a mouse. The price tag was a whopping $10,000—very expensive at any time. It was called Lisa, which officially stood for Local Integrated Software Architecture. Unofficially, Lisa just happened to be the name of the daughter of Apple Computer founder Steve Jobs. Little Lisa Jobs was born in 1978. Lisa the computer entered the world five years later.

  Cosmic question: What’s another word for synonym?

  GASSY POETRY

  Not one, not two, but three fine blasts of classic gas from the poetical past.

  ODE TO BEANS

  Beans, beans, the musical fruit!

  The more you eat, the more you toot.

  The more you toot, the better you feel,

  So let’s have beans for every meal!

  Beans, beans, they’re good for the heart!

  The more you eat, the more you fart.

  The more you fart, the better you feel,

  So let’s have beans for every meal!

  DR. BART’S FARTS

  There once was a doctor named Bart

  Who told all his patients to fart.

  He said the relief

  Was usually brief

  But terribly good for the heart.

  R.I.P.

  (found on a tombstone in Stanley, Tasmania)

  Wherever you may be

  O let your wind go free

  ’Cos holding it caused the death of me.

  Myth-nomer: Black-eyed peas are actually beans.

  GHOSTS IN THE WHITE HOUSE

  At the end of a president’s term, he (and his family) are supposed to move out of the White House. Well, not all of the occupants of the White House want to move. Some prefer to stick around, pacing the halls, knocking on doors, staring out windows…or just hanging up laundry.

  ABIGAIL ADAMS (died 1818)

  Abigail Adams, wife of President John Adams, is the oldest ghost to be spotted wandering the halls of the White House. She is usually seen hurrying to the East Room with her arms outstretched as if she’s carrying a load of laundry. She’s going to that room because when she was first lady, the White House wasn’t yet completed. Many of the rooms were freezing cold and damp. One of the warmest spots in the house was the East Room, which is where Mrs. Adams hung her clothes to dry.

  DOLLEY MADISON (died 1849)

  Dolley Madison prided herself on the rose garden that she planted when her husband, James Madison, was president. Later, in 1918, President Woodrow Wilson’s wife, Edith, decided to have the roses dug up so she could plant her own garden. According to legend, Mrs. Madison’s ghost appeared and yelled at the gardener. She ordered him not to touch a thing—and he didn’t! Mrs. Wilson decided to find another spot for her flowers, and Mrs. Madison’s rose garden continues to bloom to this day.

  Monkey business: Ancient Egyptians trained baboons to wait on tables.

  ANDREW JACKSON (died 1845)

  The ghost of Andrew Jackson spends his time near the Rose Room, where his bed is on display. Mary Todd Lincoln reported hearing him pacing up and down the halls, cursing. Others have heard him laughing inside the Rose Room.

  ABRAHAM LINCOLN (died 1865)

  Abraham Lincoln is the ghost most often seen in the White House. President Calvin Coolidge’s wife, Grace, was the first to spot him. She said he was standing at the window of the Oval Office with his hands clasped behind his back, gazing out at the Potomac River.

  Sleepwalkers cannot taste, smell, or hear.

  • Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands was a guest of the White House when she heard a knock in the middle of the night. She opened the door and there stood Lincoln wearing his famous top hat. The queen fainted. When she awoke, he was gone.

  • Eleanor Roosevelt’s secretary, Mary Eben, reported seeing Lincoln sitting on the bed in the Lincoln Room, pulling on his boots. Many other
people have reported seeing him lying on the bed.

  • And speaking of Lincoln, every April on the anniversary of his assassination, legend has it that a ghostly train travels along the tracks between Washington, D.C., and Illinois. This phantom is the funeral train that took Lincoln’s body back home to Illinois, where he was buried.

  MR. BURNS (date of death…unknown)

  The most unusual ghost in the White House is a man named David Burns. In 1790 he donated the land for the White House. Over the subsequent years, many people have heard him call their name. When they turn to see who called, the ghost always introduces himself, “I’m Mr. Burns.”

  * * *

  “Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today.”

  —Abraham Lincoln

  Q: How does the tailor bird get its name? A: To build its nest it sews two leaves together, using its beak as the needle and plant fibers for thread.

  MERMAID TALES

  Most people write them off as just another fish story. But you never know—mermaids might be as real as Bigfoot.

  AFISH BY ANY OTHER NAME

  To the Irish she’s a merrow. The Greeks call her a siren. Her Japanese name is ningyo. The Inuit people of Canada know her as nuyagpalik. But most of us know her as a mermaid. Half-human, half-fish, mermaids are found in the folklore of almost every country in the world. For thousands of years, people have claimed to see them swimming in the Mediterranean Sea, off the reefs of New Zealand, and in the ice floes of Alaska. Even Christopher Columbus said he saw mermaids swimming in the Atlantic as he sailed to the New World.