Uncle John's Electrifying Bathroom Reader for Kids Only! Read online

  Have goats always been tame? Na-ah-ah-ah! They were domesticated around 7000 B.C.

  RACCOON RESCUE

  Charley is a pet raccoon who lived with the Mertens family in northern Michigan. One night, while the family slept, their house caught on fire.

  Charley raced into the parents’ room, chattering wildly, and tugged at the father’s foot to wake him. Mr. and Mrs. Mertens woke up and ran through the smoke-filled hall to their daughters’ bedroom. But just as they entered the room, the floor started to give way behind them. Flames shot up from below.

  “The baby!” Mrs. Mertens cried, pointing to the nursery across the flames. There was no way to reach it. The family raced to the window—luckily, their neighbors had seen the fire and placed a ladder against the wall to help them. As they climbed down the ladder, they shouted, “Please, someone save the baby!”

  The neighbors broke into the blazing house and tried to climb the stairs, but it was too late. The stairs had collapsed. There was no way to get to the baby.

  Just when everything looked hopeless, a black-and-gray fur ball came hurtling down from above. It was Charley! And in his mouth was the Mertens’ baby! The child was saved, the family was reunited, and, as you can imagine, there wasn’t a more treasured pet in northern Michigan than Charley the raccoon.

  Of all the words in the English language, the word set has the most definitions.

  THE BUG AWARDS

  There are more than 1.25 million species of insects, but these take the cake (sometimes for real)!

  Heaviest: The goliath beetle of Africa is the sumo wrestler of bugs. It grows up to eight inches and can weigh as much as four ounces (the weight of a quarter-pound hamburger patty).

  Longest: The stick insect of Borneo, which can grow to 14 inches long.

  Oldest: Jewel beetles hold the record for longest-living bugs. Their larvae can live inside trees for more than 35 years before they finally emerge as adult beetles.

  Strongest: The rhinoceros beetle, also known as the Hercules beetle, can carry more than 800 times its own weight. That’s the equivalent of you being able to pick up a house!

  Biggest Wingspan: The giant owlet moth has a wingspan of up to 18 inches—bigger than most birds.

  Deadliest: The award for all-time deadliest bug goes to the anopheles mosquito. This malaria-carrying pest is responsible for more deaths than any other animal in world history.

  Smallest: Battledore-wing fairy flies are teensy weensy wasps, only .0083 inches long—the size of the period at the end of this sentence.

  The answer is 42. What’s the question? How many dots are on a pair of dice?

  DUMB CROOKS

  From the BRI’s crime blotter, here’s proof that crime doesn’t pay.

  WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME

  A not-too-observant man tried to rob a bank on the ground floor of a busy building in New York. If he had checked it out carefully before he decided to rob that particular bank, he might have known the FBI had offices there.

  But he didn’t. What’s more, he picked the worst possible day to rob the place—payday! Why? Several armed FBI agents were waiting in line to deposit their paychecks. So when the foolish robber told the teller to put the money in the bag, he instantly heard the clicking of 15 guns behind him…and was quickly arrested.

  TURN THE OTHER CHEEK

  In a packed courtroom in Athens, Texas, Judge Jim Parsons sentenced 40-year-old Ray Mason to eight years in prison. But just before the police moved in to haul him off to jail, Mason yelled, “Hey, judge, look at this!” Then he pulled down his pants and mooned the judge—and everyone else in the courtroom. Judge Parsons was not amused. He charged Mason with contempt of court and gave him an extra six months in the can.

  Looking for a place to go? The White House has 35 bathrooms.

  GAMES AROUND THE GLOBE

  We had a lot of fun finding the games we put in our first Bathroom Reader for Kids Only—and judging by the letters we got, you had fun playing them. So here are some more.

  GAME: Down, Down, Down

  WHERE IT’S FROM: Australia

  WHAT YOU NEED: A tennis ball

  NUMBER OF PLAYERS: 2 or more

  HOW YOU PLAY:

  1. Players stand in a wide circle and begin tossing the ball continuously back and forth until someone drops it.

  2. When the ball is dropped, everyone yells, “Down on one knee!” and the player who dropped the ball must kneel on one knee and play from there.

  3. Continue tossing the ball back and forth. If the same player drops the ball a second time, yell out, “Down on two knees!” She is now kneeling throughout the game.

  4. Continue tossing the ball. If “old butterfingers” drops the ball again, everyone yells, “Down on one elbow!”

  5. Continue tossing the ball. If she drops it a fourth time, she’s “Down on two elbows!” (and still on her knees).

  One large oak tree can drink as much as three bathtubs’ worth of water every day.

  6. If she drops it a fifth time, it’s “Down on your chin!”

  7. As other players drop the ball, they go through the same steps—down on one knee, then two knees, etc.

  8. The players must continue to throw and catch the ball from whatever position they are in. The game ends when you’re laughing so much you start rolling around, not catching the ball at all.

  GAME: One-Legged Rabbit (Gradai Kha Dee-o)

  WHERE IT’S FROM: Thailand

  WHAT YOU NEED: A field or gym

  NUMBER OF PLAYERS: 10 or more

  HOW YOU PLAY:

  1. The players split up into two equal groups. One group is the Rabbits. The other group must remain within an area that has been marked out as the “Rabbit Hole.”

  2. One Rabbit hops on one foot into the Rabbit Hole and tries to touch as many members of the other team as she can, while hopping.

  3. Players in the Rabbit Hole are out if they are touched or if they cross the boundary. The Rabbit is out if she puts two legs down or changes legs.

  In Japan, kids get only six weeks of summer vacation.

  4. However, if she is tired, the Rabbit can hop back to the start line and pick another Rabbit to take her place.

  5. The game’s over when no one is left in the Rabbit Hole.

  GAME: Pebble Tag

  WHERE IT’S FROM: Greece

  WHAT YOU NEED: A small pebble and a large field

  NUMBER OF PLAYERS: 5 or more

  HOW YOU PLAY:

  1. Select someone to be “It.” “It” then chooses and marks a goal about 30 feet away.

  2. The others line up and hold their hands out in front of them, palms together and thumbs pointing up, with a little opening at the top of their hands, forming a cup.

  3. “It” walks down the line and drops (or pretends to drop) the pebble into someone’s hand.

  4. The person receiving the pebble must run to the goal without being tagged by the other players—or the person may pretend like he didn’t get it. Players watch each other, trying to figure out who has the pebble.

  5. But the person with the pebble can’t fake it forever—he must run before “It” reaches the end of the line.

  6. If the person gets to the goal and back to “It” without being tagged, he’s the next “It.” If he’s tagged, then the person who tagged him is “It.”

  Star fact: Actor Tom Cruise was born Thomas Mapother IV.

  IMAGINARY WORLDS

  Here’s a fun little quiz: match the imaginary place with the book or movie it came from. Bonus question: Which one is also the name of a real place?

  Place Names

  1. Hogwarts

  2. Never-Never Land

  3. Camelot

  4. Hundred Acre Wood

  5. Pern

  6. Wild Island

  7. Narnia

  8. Lilliput

  9. Middle Earth

  10. Gotham City

  11. Tatooine

  12. Emerald City

  13
. Transylvania

  Titles

  a. Gulliver’s Travels

  b. The Lord of the Rings

  c. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

  d. The White Dragon

  e. Harry Potter

  f. Dracula

  g. Winnie the Pooh

  h. Star Wars

  i. The Wizard of Oz

  j. My Father’s Dragon

  k. Peter Pan

  l. The Once and Future King

  m. Batman

  Answers

  1. e; 2. k; 3. l; 4. g; 5. d; 6. j; 7. c; 8. a; 9. b; 10. m; 11. h; 12. i; 13. f. Bonus question: Transylvania.

  The movie Titanic takes 40 minutes longer to watch than the actual ship took to sink.

  MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?

  Some of your favorite foods come from other countries. Hamburgers and hot dogs originated in Germany; pizza is Italian. So if you like those…

  May We Suggest: Bangers and mash

  What Is It? It’s part of a British lunch or dinner. A banger is a type of sausage, a bit plumper and curvier than a hot dog and quite a bit spicier. It’s usually pan-fried or deep-fried in batter. “Mash” is short for mashed potatoes.

  For breakfast, the British love rashers (bacon), black pudding (a kind of sausage), white pudding (another kind of sausage), eggs, stewed tomatoes, and kidneys.

  May We Suggest: Spotted dick

  What Is It? It’s a dessert. The earliest recipes for it appeared in England in 1847. To make it, take a flat sheet of dough, cover it with sugar and raisins, then roll it up and boil or bake it. Voilà! You’ve got spotted dick.

  May We Suggest: Haggis, neeps, and tatties

  What Is It? It’s the national dish of Scotland. And people either love it or hate it. Haggis is actually a sheep’s stomach stuffed with all of the other internal parts of the sheep mixed with ground oatmeal. It’s sort of like a huge sausage. It’s traditionally served on New Year’s Eve with neeps and tatties (mashed turnips and mashed potatoes).

  Six official languages of the U.N.: Arabic, Chinese, English, French, Spanish, and Russian.

  May We Suggest: Poi

  What Is It? It’s a Hawaiian side dish—a starchy gray pudding that is made from the root of the taro plant (which looks something like a hairy potato). Many people around the world eat taro, but only the Hawaiians make poi. One description of poi is that it tastes “like library paste…without the flavor.” Some Hawaiians like it fresh, but many prefer day-old poi, when it’s a little sour. The best way to eat it is with your fingers. In fact, poi consistency is measured by how many fingers you need to scoop up a mouthful. Two-fingered poi is considered ono! (The best!)

  May We Suggest: Blood pudding

  What Is It? It’s another kind of pudding…one made with blood—lots of it. Blood pudding was first made in the days when people slaughtered their own hogs. Not wanting to waste any part of the pig, they saved the blood and mixed it with raisins, sugar, nuts, cooked rice, oranges, figs, and spices. Then the mixture was baked in the oven and served warm. It may not be as popular as it once was, but blood pudding is still considered a holiday classic in England, Ireland, and French Canadian provinces.

  A mosquito can drink more than 11/2 times its own weight in blood.

  MOVIE BLOOPERS

  Movies may seem well-thought-out, but if you look carefully, you can find all kinds of goofs and flubs. Here are a few we found in some hit films.

  Movie: Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)

  Scene: Packing for her trip to Naboo, Padme is in her closet holding a red garment.

  Blooper: A moment later, when she places it in her suitcase, the garment has changed to blue.

  Movie: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

  Scene: Gandalf visits Bilbo Baggins.

  Blooper: Gandalf’s belt repeatedly switches between being tied and untied as he speaks to Bilbo.

  Movie: The Princess Diaries (2001)

  Scene: Mia and her grandmother are standing by some telescopes when Mia takes a bite out of a corndog. A few seconds later, she offers her grandmother a bite.

  Blooper: The corndog is whole again.

  Movie: Spider-Man (2002)

  Scene: Mary Jane is being mugged by four men. Spider-Man throws two of the men through the two windows behind Mary Jane. Then the camera goes back to Spider-Man beating up the other two guys.

  First product to have a UPC bar code: Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit gum.

  Blooper: When the camera goes back to Mary Jane, the two windows aren’t broken.

  Movie: Beauty and the Beast (1991)

  Scene: In the beginning of the movie, Belle sits down by a fountain with a book. A sheep takes a bite out of a page in the book. The page has a picture on it.

  Blooper: Later in the movie, Gaston says, “How can you read this? It doesn’t even have any pictures!”

  Movie: Dr. Dolittle (1998)

  Scene: Dr. Dolittle gets out of bed to answer the door. He turns on a light switch and opens the door.

  Blooper: There’s no switch—he’s flicking the wall!

  Movie: Scooby Doo (2001)

  Scene: While Fred is a zombie, he punches through a window and grabs Shaggy by the neck.

  Blooper: Fred was a very safe zombie—you can clearly see the tape on his arm protecting him from the glass.

  Movie: Aladdin (on the 1993 video copies of the film)

  Scene: Aladdin is on the flying carpet just off Princess Jasmine’s balcony. She is seen behind the curtain.

  Blooper: A strange voice whispers something. But what? Some people claim it’s “take off your clothes.” The people at Disney say it’s “take off and go”…but just to be safe, they removed the line from later video and DVD versions.

  The IQ of an average stutterer is 14 points higher than a non-stutterer.

  COOKING WITH UNCLE JOHN

  What do you say we make a big bowl of snot? What ingredients are used to make fake snot? Pretty much the same ones that make real snot: protein, sugar, and water. Now, let’s get cooking!

  Recipe: You’ll need an adult to help you with this recipe. First, heat the water in a pan until it boils. Remove it from the heat and sprinkle in the packages of gelatin. Let this mixture soften a few minutes and then stir it with a fork. Add enough corn syrup to make 1 cup of thin, goopy glop. Stir the glop with the fork. While you’re stirring it, lift the fork to pull out long strands of snot. As the “snot” begins to cool, it will thicken. Add more water, if you need to, a spoonful at a time, to keep it nice and slimy.

  Say it out loud: “It looks like boogers but it’s not.”

  EXTRA BONUS: FAKE BOOGERS!

  You can make fake boogers, too. Real boogers are formed when mucus coats a tiny dust particle in your nose and then dries out and hardens.

  That’s how you make fake boogers, too. Just take the fake snot, toss in about a pinch of dust and…eureka! You’ve got fake boogers! Now go wipe one on a wall. You could even put one in your friend’s sandwich…

  ***

  HE’S GONNA BLOW!

  When you have a cold, you just reach for a box of tissue to help you with your snotty noses. But before there were disposable tissues, people carried handkerchiefs, or “snot rags”—a practice that started more than 2,000 years ago in Rome.

  Of course, people didn’t always use hankies. Many people just wiped their noses on their sleeves. But in the 1500s King Francis I of France thought it was gross and decided to put a stop to the filthy habit. He ordered buttons sewn on all men’s coat sleeves to make them use their handkerchiefs instead of their sleeves. In the 1700s, Admiral Nelson had buttons sewn on the sleeves of all all British naval uniforms for the same reason, as did Napoleon for the French military in the 1800s.

  And that’s why men’s coats have buttons on their sleeves today.

  Q: What was the Barbie doll’s first “job?” A: She was a flight attendant in 1961.

  HOW ROCK GROUPS GOT THEIR NAMES

>   If you ask most rock bands, they’ll tell you that finding a good name can be as hard as making good music. Sometimes the perfect name just appears—others take years to find.

  Good Charlotte named themselves after a children’s book about a little girl named Charlotte who is bullied all the time. But her nanny loves her a lot and calls her “good Charlotte.” (The band can’t stand the book.)

  Puddle of Mudd got their name after the Missouri River flooded their practice space and turned the floor into a big “puddle of mud.”

  Matchbox 20 came up with their name when drummer Paul Doucette was a waiter in a diner. One day he saw a customer wearing a #20 softball shirt. It was covered with patches, and the only word he could read was “Matchbox.”

  Foo Fighters. Founder Dave Grohl has always been fascinated with UFOs. He named his band after the mysterious fireballs seen by American pilots in WWII (see page 259). He also named the band’s label Roswell, in honor of Roswell, New Mexico, the site of a famous UFO “crash” in 1947 (see page 41).

  No kidding: Kid Rock’s real name is Bobby Ritchie.

  No Doubt. When the band formed in 1986, they wanted to call themselves Apple Core. But they also liked the phrase that their original lead singer, John Spence, would always say: “No doubt.” Sadly, Spence died in 1987. When 18-year-old Gwen Stefani took over as lead singer, the band took the name No Doubt as a tribute to him.

  Sugar Ray. They first called themselves the Tories, then the Shrinky Dinx, after a toy made by Hasbro. But Hasbro didn’t like the group using their product name and threatened to sue them. So the group decided to change their name to Sugar Ray, in honor of the band’s favorite boxer, Sugar Ray Leonard.

  Moby was born Richard Melville Hall. His great-great-grand uncle was Herman Melville, who wrote Moby Dick. Moby’s parents honored his famous ancestor by giving him the nickname of the infamous white whale.