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  Lynsey admired how much Nick loved his family. But in a way, it was a stark, cold reminder that she had no one. She finished preparing the coffee, set a mug in front of Nick and took a seat at the table.

  “I just can’t believe that Suzy wants to take Doug back after he’s caused her so much pain and humiliation. He should be so ashamed of himself for what he’s done to his wife and children that he wouldn’t want to show his face in public.”

  His gaze locked to hers. “So, you’re saying that a man isn’t entitled to make one major, catastrophic mistake in his life? Does it damn him to hell forever?”

  “Of course everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes really bad and hurtful mistakes. As long as they’re truly sorry for the pain they have caused, and the person they hurt can accept, then I see no reason they shouldn’t be forgiven,” she answered.

  The intensity within his blue eyes caused her to shiver . It seemed to Lynsey that their conversation suddenly took a personal turn. It was time for a change of subject.

  “Hey, I’ve heard that you’re up for a big promotion at work, and that you have your pick of two prime positions.” After the depressing topic of the day, she strove to sound happy and upbeat.

  He looked away. “Oh, and who told you that?”

  She didn’t want to bring Caleb into the conversation knowing how Nick felt about him, so she chose her words carefully. “I heard about it at the party last week. You have your choice of becoming a sergeant or a detective. I’m so proud of you!”

  “Well, don’t be. I’m not putting in for either position. I’m happy with things just the way they are.”

  She frowned deeply. “Why not? There’s no one who’s more qualified than you.”

  “The detective position is for Evan’s replacement. I will not take my friend’s job.”

  It was loyalty to his best friend, she realized. Reaching over, she took his hand. “I think that Evan would be very happy to have you replace him.”

  “But I wouldn’t,” he stressed. “Besides, I’d be cooped up in an office most of the day doing paperwork.”

  “What about the sergeant position? It’s a day shift, and you would still be on the street all day. You would be a great supervisor.”

  He shrugged. “I’m not interested.”

  “Nicky, you’ve earned those sergeant’s stripes. Why would you allow someone who isn’t even half as qualified as you to become your supervisor?”

  “It’s not important, Lynsey. Just let it go, okay?”

  “I think it’s important. This is me, Nicky. It’s Lynsey. Just tell me the truth. Say, ‘ I don’t want the sergeant’s position because I don’t want the added responsibility,’ or, 'I don’t want to be a detective because I’d be considered a rookie again and Owen will boss me around…’”

  “That’s not it at all,” he balked. “I don’t shy away from responsibility! But if you must know everything, I don’t want the detective position because I have no interest in it. As for the sergeant, I’m not cut out to be a supervisor . I froze in a critical situation .”

  Lynsey found this hard to believe. “What happened?” she asked gently.

  “I was on duty the afternoon Evan got hit by that car,” he said as he rubbed circles over his temples. “This…this woman who hit him had been talking on her cell phone, and turned around in the driver’s seat to scream at her kids when she plowed over him in the crosswalk.

  “When I arrived at the scene, she actually had the nerve to ask me when she could leave. Can you believe it? My friend is lying in the middle of the street all bloody, twisted, and broken, and she didn’t give a damn.”

  She wondered about Evan’s accident, but no one ever seemed comfortable enough with the topic to discuss it at length. “I’m so sorry, honey.” She stroked the top of his hand.

  “Do you know what I did?”

  There was so much painful emotion in his blue eyes that Lynsey regretted even mentioning the promotions. All she wanted now was to take this man in her arms and shower him with all the comfort and love she felt. Instead, she asked, “What?”

  “I actually pulled the woman out of her car and shook her. I shook her right in front of her children! What kind of monster does that make me? I was supposed to be the professional; I was supposed to keep a cool head in a time of chaos. Instead, I just…lost it.”

  “Nicky, you weren’t acting as a cop. You were acting as Evan’s best friend. There’s a huge difference.”

  “Well, Owen showed up shortly afterward and he took control over the whole scene. I remember being at the hospital emergency room and I just couldn’t speak ; I could barely function. They had Evan on his side on a gurney and his eyes were wide open and he was just staring forward, and then he started to vomit all over Owen’s shoes. Owen just held his hand and kept telling him that everything was going to be all right.”

  Evan’s accident had deeply affected Nick, even to this day, she thought. “Evan told me that he has absolutely no memory of his accident, or even weeks prior to or after it.”

  “It doesn’t matter, Lynsey.” He placed his hand over his heart. “I remember. I also remember the incident with the PEG.”

  “PEG?” she asked, puzzled. “What’s a PEG?”

  “It’s a medical procedure. After Evan had been in the hospital for a long while, he became very depressed because things like his dexterity and speech weren’t coming back as quick as he wanted. He became so frustrated that he stopped eating. They were using a feeding tube because his weight had dropped so dramatically. Eventually, the doctor’s wanted to do surgery to implant this PEG tube through his belly to feed him.”

  She hadn’t known the extent of Evan’s recovery.

  “Anyway, since his fiancée bailed on him and he had no family, Owen and I were making all the medical decisions for him. I agreed with the procedure. I thought it was in Evan’s best interest to follow the doctor’s suggestion. But Owen,” he stopped and shook his head. “Owen went absolutely ballistic. He marched out of the hospital and stormed back a half hour later with a bag of take-out from Burger Heaven. He put the burger in Evan’s hands and shouted, ‘Eat the God damn thing or I’ll shove it down your throat!’

  “Wouldn’t you know that from that afternoon Evan started to eat? Afterward, his weight came up, and his health improved by leaps and bounds. If he had the procedure I wanted him to have, would he still be in a rehab hospital wasting away?”

  Nick was a man who rarely showed his emotions, yet today in his kitchen, he was absolutely haunted with pain.

  “Nicky, you are not a doctor. You are a kind, wonderful, and concerned man who wanted what was best for your friend. You and Owen are two completely—and I do mean completely— different men. Maybe the aggression and abrasiveness works for Owen, but that’s not you. You are a good man and you deserve to be a sergeant. But if you don’t want that, it’s your decision and I respect that.”

  Standing up from her chair, she went to him and eased herself onto his lap. Capturing his face in her hands, she looked directly into his blue eyes. “You are magnificent. I am so proud of you.” She then pressed her closed lips gently against his. After a very long moment, she stood again. “I guess I’ll go make those phone calls now.”

  As she started to walk away from the table, she was surprised when Nick grabbed her hand. She turned to him.

  “If I was a sergeant, could you ever love me again?” he asked.

  She smiled at him. “Oh honey, I don’t care whether you’re a street cop or a sergeant, I have always loved you.”

  ***

  Lynsey stripped down to her bra and panties and flopped down on her bed. She couldn’t be bothered to call Caleb or Owen. All she could think about was Nick asking her if she could ever love him again. Didn’t he realize that she did l
ove him with all of her heart? Now she knew that Caleb, and even Owen, would just be poor substitutions.

  Turning onto her belly, she lay against the pillow and closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she felt Nick’s hands massaging her back. He stopped momentarily and undid the clasp on her bra before his lips picked up where his hands had left off.

  With a deliberate effort, she forced herself to turn to him, allowing her bra to fall away.

  “I have always loved you too,” he admitted.

  He had just spoken the words she never thought she would hear from him again. Now nothing really mattered at that moment except for the two of them.

  “Dominick…just love me.”

  He needed no further prompting. With lightening speed he shed his T-shirt and jeans. Climbing into her bed, his mouth sought hers while his fingers tangled into the lace of her panties and tugged them off.

  When he climbed between her legs, she arched her body against his in a desperate but unsuccessful attempt to join them together. Finally, after an awkward thrust, they became one.

  Lynsey tried to match his thrusts, but together they seemed to fumble mightily like two inexperienced kids. When they finally found a rhythm together, Nick’s body tensed before he let out a soulful shout and collapsed against her.

  “Beautiful girl, you carried me away,” he whispered hotly in her ear before rolling off her and cuddling close. Not a word was exchanged between them, and after a few minutes, he was snoring softly beside her.

  What just happened? She wondered as she stared into the dark. She waited so long for this, but now just felt unsatisfied and unconnected to her sleeping lover.

  Was it possible that Nick was still completely unsophisticated in the art of lovemaking? He had been a virgin before their first time together all those years ago, and then he married a woman who was equally as chaste. Had their encounters ever been more than a few limp kisses followed by the act of mechanical intercourse and a rush to his orgasm?

  It wasn’t a subject that Lynsey felt she could easily speak with Nick about. She knew that all he needed was to loosen up a bit, and she could guide him to a thorough knowledge of her body and how to satisfy her. A little practice and they would be perfect together.

  She ran a gentle hand over his tousled blond hair. Even though their lovemaking had been brief, he was finally hers and he was going nowhere tonight.

  Chapter Seven

  When Lynsey woke to the sun peeking beneath the blinds, she knew instantly that she was alone. She checked the clock. It was nearly eight. She needed to get showered and dressed. She planned to meet Suzy for breakfast in an hour.

  By the time she got to the kitchen, Nick stood in the doorway with a coffee mug, staring outside at the lake, fully dressed in his police blues. She so wished that he would call in sick, and she could cancel with Suzy. They could spend the day talking. There was so much between them that needed to be said.

  When he heard her, he came to her, took her into his arms, and kissed her. It was a comfort that he didn’t regret their lovemaking. She didn’t think she could handle being rejected by him twice in her lifetime.

  “Do you have to leave soon?” she asked.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t want to, but I have to.” He went to the stove and prepared her a cup of coffee. “I think we should start planning our wedding. We could be married at Christmas.”

  She was taken aback. Was this his proposal? It was supposed to be so romantic and memorable, not talk about planning a Christmas wedding while he stirred a cup of coffee.

  “Do you even want to get married?” She took the coffee mug he offered. “I mean, it wasn’t that long ago that you told me you weren’t sure you ever wanted to be married again. You said you didn’t see fatherhood in your future, and Nick, I want a baby…more than one. I grew up as an only child and I was so alone. I don’t want my child to have to experience that.”

  “Well, I didn’t use a condom last night. You could be pregnant right now,” was his reply.

  Heaviness descended upon her heart. This was so not how she wanted this morning to be, and certainly not the marriage proposal she had dreamed of. “I’m on the Pill—I won’t get pregnant if that’s all you’re worried about.”

  “I’m sorry. That’s not the only reason we should get married.”

  “Then why?” she asked suspiciously.

  He let out an exaggerated sigh. “Lynsey, I don’t have time to get into this with you right now. What do you want me to say in the five minutes I have before I leave for work?”

  She couldn’t believe his glib attitude. “How about saying something to me like…‘I love you, Lynsey, and I made a tremendous mistake by not marrying you twenty years ago?’ That would take less than thirty seconds to say, and still get to your precious job on time.”

  Suddenly his jaw set and his eyes narrowed. “I didn’t make a mistake by not marrying you twenty years ago! I let you go to become a success in life—and you did. I can’t regret that!”

  “So, what I thought all these years was correct. I was nothing to you but a quick and easy way to shed your virginity.” Just saying the words felt devastating.

  “That’s not it at all,” he vehemently insisted. “You were always so intelligent. I mean, you were a sixteen-year-old senior in high school! Just how many grades did you skip over, anyway?”

  “Two,” she answered in a low voice.

  “Do you know what would have happened if I hadn’t married Kelly?” He didn’t wait for her reply. “I’ll tell you what. You and I would have been ostracized by everyone in this town! We would have had to be married right away, and we would have had to live with your mother, because I had no money.”

  “My mother loved you. She would have been happy to have us live with her,” she interjected.

  “And we were so naïve, Lynsey. You would have graduated high school with either a big belly, or a baby in your arms…if you had graduated at all.”

  She crossed her arms over her breasts and looked at the floor. She was too afraid that if she looked at him she would break down. “Some of the girls in school were married. A few of them had babies.”

  He lifted her chin and forced her to make eye contact with him. “And you were too smart to be stuck in this town, and just another housewife. You would have become bored and resentful.”

  “I wouldn’t have known the difference,” she countered.

  “I had serious doubts then. I still have doubts now,” he admitted.

  Her dark lashes flew upward. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “I believe that you will become bored and restless in Unity and will want to go back to Florida or maybe California. I have a job and a family here, Lynsey. I don’t ever want to give that up. I’m afraid that we’ll have a child, and you’ll take my baby and leave. I cannot allow that to happen.”

  She couldn’t believe what he was saying. Nothing was further from the truth. “Do you think I would have sunk so much of my savings into that house just to abandon it? I would never, ever do what you’re saying. But if circumstances changed, I would expect you to support what was best for our family. Couples who are committed make sacrifices for each other!”

  It was becoming clearer and clearer that things were rapidly falling apart between them.

  “Lynsey, didn’t what happened between us last night mean anything to you?” Nick asked.

  She chuckled unpleasantly. “I suppose that with us living in such close proximity, last night was inevitable. But don’t worry about it happening again, Nick. When you get home this evening, I won’t be here.”

  “Where will you be?”

  She wanted to hurt Nick the way she hurt. “I’m sure that Caleb wouldn’t mind me bunking down at his house for a week or
two.”

  “Over my dead body,” he seethed. “I will drag you away from him kicking and screaming if it comes to it. I’ll handcuff you to my bed if need be. Believe me, Lynsey, I’ll do it!” He flopped down into a kitchen chair and buried his face in his hands.

  “I have to go now, Nick. I’m meeting your sister for breakfast. Listen to me. You need to pull yourself together. In your line of work, bad things happen when you lose your concentration.”

  When he didn’t reply, she let out a sigh of resignation and headed for the door. At the last minute she turned to him. “Thanks for almost making it happen between us.”

  ***

  Nick pulled his police cruiser into a parking spot directly across from The Cozy Corner Diner and got out of the car. He entered the diner under the guise of buying a cup of take-out coffee, but the truth was, he was looking for Lynsey.

  When he got to the counter and ordered, he scanned the diner, but neither Lynsey nor his sister were there. Maybe Lynsey fabricated the breakfast with Suzy as an excuse to get away from him. If that was the truth, he really couldn’t blame her for wanting to escape his presence.

  He returned to his cruiser, sat on the push bar, uncapped his steaming coffee, and took a sip of the bitter brew.

  The morning went so dreadfully wrong with every wrong word that came out of his mouth. She wanted him to tell her that his first marriage was a mistake, and that he should have married her instead.

  He could have easily lied and told her everything she wanted to hear. But he’d opted for the truth—to tell that he let her go all of those years ago because he had to, not because he wanted to. Marrying Kelly and leaving Lynsey behind had broken both his heart and his spirit. Because of his unwillingness to forget her, his marriage and his life suffered.

  It hadn’t really been fair to Kelly, either, to marry a man whose heart would always belong to another. But that had been her decision to bear when she chose to stubbornly remain in the marriage.