Wide Open Spaces Read online

  “Come back anytime, and I really mean that. If you see my van outside, you’re welcome to come over.”

  “Thanks, Shel,” she whispers, then turns and jogs to her house next door, up her steps, and inside, all without looking back.

  “What’s for dinner? I’m starved,” Hunter groans, as I close the door and turn to face him.

  “I think we need to go to the store, kiddo. The bear ate most of the food in the house,” I explain, and he smiles then looks at me then back toward the kitchen.

  “I can’t wait to tell Eric and Eli there was a bear in our house. They will never believe me.” He grins then pulls out his cell phone.

  “I’m sure they won’t,” I mutter, laughing.

  “Lucky I got some pictures to prove it.” He holds out the phone toward me, and on the screen is the bear sprawled out on the kitchen floor, with Paul and Zach leaning over it. “They are totally gonna want to come visit now.”

  Oh sheesh, I’m sure their parents will love to hear that there are bears coming into the house at random.

  “Why don’t you go shower and wash the bear off you, and then we’ll go to dinner and you can tell me all about what happened with the bear when you helped release it.”

  “Can we get burgers?”

  “Sure,” I agree, smiling.

  “Score!” He shouts, and turns for the stairs, with his phone still in his hand.

  Smiling at his back, I look down at myself. I probably look crazy. I haven’t taken off Zach’s shirt, but I did put on a pair of rain boots when we got into the house and kept them on this whole time. Heading for my room, I stop when Hunter comes down from the attic looking white as a ghost.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Um… Dad’s on the phone,” he whispers, holding the phone out toward me. “I sent him a picture of the bear.”

  Fuck!

  “It’s okay, honey,” I tell him, gently taking his arm, leading him to my room and over to my bed to take a seat then pull the phone from his hand and put it to my ear.

  “Max,” I say calmly, stepping away from Hunter.

  “What the fuck, Shel? You let Hunter near a goddamn bear? What the fuck is wrong with you? For Christ’s sake, do you think this is some kind of joke?”

  “Max, please calm down.”

  “Calm down? You want me to calm down? My son was near a fucking bear. A bear, Shel. I cannot believe you would put him in that kind of danger,” he growls, and my temper, which was already fraying from seeing the look on Hunter’s face, begins to slip.

  “I would never put Hunter in danger,” I hiss, feeling the phone in my hand pinch into my skin.

  “Really fucking funny to me, because you did. You let him near a bear then let him go goddamn release it, and he makes it sound like it was a fucking trip to Disneyland.”

  “Calm down, Max,” I demand again, turning my back to Hunter. “Let me explain.”

  “No, I don’t want to hear any excuses. This is fucked, so fucking fucked it’s beyond fucked. I want Hunter with me.”

  “Max please listen to me.”

  “My lawyer will be in touch.” He hangs up. The silence that follows fills my heart with dread. Tears fill my eyes and my world starts to spin out of control as my vision begins to go dark.

  “Mom?” Hunter’s voice cuts through the pain that is taking over every single inch of my body. “Mom?” he repeats, and I feel his arms around my middle.

  Wrapping him in my arms, I breathe in his smell and soak in the feeling of his small body tight around mine. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, and my heart breaks, causing excruciating pain to slice through me.

  “It’s okay. It will all be okay,” I lie, running my hands down his back. This won’t be okay. I know Max. I know him well enough to believe if he says he’s going to take Hunter from me, then that is exactly what he will do.

  “I shou—”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong.” I cut him off. “Your dad will calm down and we’ll talk. It’ll be okay. Okay?”

  “Yeah, Mom.” He nods, and I press my lips to the top of his head and hold them there as I speak.

  “Go shower. We have a dinner date and you smell like bear.”

  “I don’t smell like bear,” he jokes, but I catch the slight tremor in his words.

  “You do.” I smile then lean back and take his small face in my hands. “I love you. I know you don’t want to hear that from your old mom, but you should know that I love you more than anything in this world.”

  “I love you, too.” His chin wobbles, and I swear if Max was here, I would beat the ever-loving crap out of him for making my boy feel the way he feels right now.

  “Now go shower.”

  “ ’Kay.” He drops his eyes from mine then turns, shutting the door to my bedroom as he goes.

  Going to the bathroom, I shut the door then turn on the shower and strip out of my clothes. I don’t want Hunter to know I’m crying. I don’t want him to hear me sob, so I duck into the shower, sit on the floor with my arms wrapped around my shins, and cry silently into my chest until I’m forced to get up and move forward like my world isn’t crumbling down around me.

  Chapter 5

  Shelby

  Sorting through the file in front of me, I scan the paperwork for a business loan that is closing today and stop when Misty pokes her head into my office.

  “I’m stepping out for lunch. Do you want me to pick anything up for you?” she asks, leaning in a little more so half her body is hanging into the office and the other half outside the door.

  “I’m good. I need to get this sorted, and then I’m gonna go get a coffee myself before Mr. Dorsey gets here at one.”

  “Okay. Mike’s at the window until I get back.”

  “Enjoy your lunch.” I smile, and she waves then disappears. It’s been a little over five days since I started working at our local bank, and I already love the environment and the people I work with.

  When Max and I first got together, I had just started working for one of the largest brokerage firms in Seattle. I enjoyed my job, but didn’t love it, only because I was just one of many loan officers in the company. There was no sense of family or friendship. There was no unity of any kind, and my clients were all big timers who didn’t really know who I was.

  Max and I got married six months after we met, and that was the same year I got pregnant with Hunter. We were both excited about becoming parents, and Max insisted he didn’t want a nanny raising our son, the way he had been raised. I wanted to be home and be a mom more than anything, so I quit my job during my third trimester and became a stay-at-home mom. I loved spending my days with Hunter when he was little, but as time went on, and Hunter started school, I felt the itch to get back to work.

  Max was not happy about the idea of his wife working, so I put my wants on hold to please him and keep our family, which I felt slowly slipping apart, together, and it eventually caused a larger rift to grow between us. It wasn’t until the last year of our marriage that I decided to go back to work, regardless of how Max felt. I knew I could work at a bank and still be home for Hunter before he went to school in the mornings, and then be back at night in time for dinner.

  It felt empowering to do what I wanted, to make my own money, but I know that was the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. All of Max’s friends had wives who did nothing but spend their days getting pedicures while gossiping about who was cheating on whom, who had more money, and who was going bankrupt. I didn’t want that for myself I hated the cliché life I was living. It was making me sick, actually sick. I started to lose weight and my hair was falling out. I dreaded spending time with those women. I hated living a lie, and eventually, I started hating Max for forcing that life on me, for not seeing I was miserable. I wanted him to want me to be happy, but my feelings never really mattered to him.

  “Shelby, you have a call on line three,” Misty says, pulling me from my thoughts, poking her head into my office.

 
; I blink at her, then ask, “Did you already go to lunch?”

  “Yeah.” She laughs. “You must have gotten carried away with work.”

  “I must have,” I mumble, hearing her laugh again before disappearing once more. Glancing at the clock, I find it’s already 12:30. Picking up the phone I press it to my ear before clicking on the line to connect the call. “Shelby Calder speaking.”

  “Miss Calder, my name is Annie Patterson. I’m your ex-husband’s attorney. Do you have a minute to speak?” My stomach fills with dread and my hands instantly become clammy. It’s been a week since my phone call with Max, one week of dreadful silence from him. When I’ve tried to call and talk to him, he hasn’t picked up, and when Hunter has been on the phone with him, he hangs up before I even have a chance to ask for the phone, leaving me completely helpless.

  “Miss Calder, are you there?”

  “Yes, sorry. I’m at work, Mrs. Patterson, and have a client coming in soon. Can I call you back in about an hour?”

  “Sorry, yes, of course you can, but really this conversation will only take a moment of your time. I’ve tried to reach you on your house phone on numerous occasions, but you’ve been unavailable and haven’t returned any of my calls.”

  “I’m sorry, you must have the wrong number. I haven’t received any messages,” I say, taking deep breaths trying to get my heart under control, as it pounds so hard that I feel it in my stomach.

  “I’ve left multiple messages with your son, Hunter.” Dropping my head, I squeeze my eyes closed. Hunter. I knew something was going on with him. He seemed jumpy every time the phone rang, and when he talks to his dad, he seemed on edge… so on edge that it takes an hour, if not more, for him to unwind after their calls.

  “How can I help you?” I give in, knowing there is nothing I can do about that now.

  “I just need to confirm some information and find out from you the name and phone number of your attorney. Your ex-husband and I agree that it would be best if I work through them from here on out.”

  “I don’t have an attorney at this time.”

  “Hmm,” she hums, and my fists clench. “I’m working for your husband, so I really shouldn’t tell you what I’m going to tell you, Miss Calder, but I suggest you get an attorney as soon as possible.” I don’t know what Max had planned, but I know he hasn’t given up the idea of getting custody of Hunter, and this call proves just that.

  “I’ll work on finding someone to represent me,” I tell her softly.

  “That would be good.” Her reply is just as soft, and if I didn’t know any better, I would swear she felt sorry for me.

  “Can I ask what kind of custody arrangement Max is seeking?”

  “He’s asking for full custody at this time.”

  Pulling in a deep breath, I let it out slowly, whispering, “Of course he is.” I close my eyes, wondering how much a good attorney costs. I have some money saved, but not a lot, since I spent most of my savings on my divorce then a huge chunk moving us to Alaska. “What other information do you need?” I question, wanting this call done.

  “I need to verify your physical address, along with the name, address, and phone number of the person who is in charge of taking care of Hunter while you’re at work.”

  “There is no one taking care of him at this time. He’s at swim or fishing camp during the day until four, and then he goes home and waits for me to get off at five.”

  “Hmm,” she hums again, and the sound causes my teeth to clench, because it sounds disapproving.

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Patterson, but my client just walked in. Do you have an e-mail address where I can have my attorney contact you once I get one?”

  “Of course.” She reads off her e-mail address, which I jot down quickly before saying good buy and hanging up with her. The urge to go get Hunter and run away is almost overwhelming as I sit back in my chair and stare blankly at the wall in front of me. I’ll fight with everything I have to keep my son, but I also know that Max will make sure he gets to watch as I take my last breath while taking Hunter away from me.

  Not even bothering with getting myself a glass, I take my opened bottle of white wine with me to my room, head right outside to the patio, and sit in one of the chairs, resting my feet still incased in high heels up on the rail. Putting the bottle to my lips I tip it back. Normally, I wouldn’t drink—or rather, I wouldn’t drink with the idea of getting drunk—but since Hunter is spending the night with a friend from camp, I’m free to drink my cares and worries away without feeling like a horrible mom.

  Swallowing down the cool liquid, I let out a sigh. When I got home from work, Hunter was already at the house, and like he’s done since the first day I started work and he started camp, he told me excitedly about his day. He told me about the salmon he caught, and how tomorrow they were learning how to smoke the meat for jerky that he would get to bring home when it was done. Then he asked if he could spend the night with Fin and go to camp with him in the morning. Fin and his family were having a cookout at the river, and he wanted to go along.

  After I said yes, I could see how happy he was, so it sucked that I had to confront him about keeping important messages from me. When I sat him down and asked him about why he didn’t tell me about the calls, I didn’t expect him to get as upset as he got. He was visibly shaken as he told me he missed his friends and his dad, but wanted to stay with me. He explained that his dad told him about getting a lawyer and that Hunter would soon be moving back to Seattle to live with him. He thought that if I didn’t know what was going on, that it wouldn’t happen and he could stay where he wanted to be. It killed me to know that the choice wouldn’t be his or mine. That some person with no real understanding of the situation would get to decide what would happen to us.

  Taking another chug from the wine bottle, I lean my head back and look up at the sky that is slowly turning dusky, and wish that Gramps was still alive. He would tell me everything is going to be okay or find a way to make it all right for me. Even now, I can’t believe he’s gone. In my mind, I really thought he would be alive forever. I built him up in my head as some kind of superhero who defied time. I wish I hadn’t thought like that. I wish I would’ve remembered he was just a man and that his time on earth was limited, just like everyone else’s.

  If I had remembered, I would have done so much differently. I would have made sure he knew how much I loved him and appreciated him. Four years ago, when things started to deteriorate between Max and me, Gramps moved to Florida and bought a place close to the beach. He told me he was tired of the cold and snow in Alaska, but I know he did it so I would have a place to go when I finally put an end to the lie he and I knew I was living.

  It was a month before he passed away that I talked to him and told him that I asked Max for a divorce, and that as soon as the divorce was final, Hunter and I were going to move to Florida into the same building he lived in. He was sad for Hunter, but knew the situation well enough to understand that Max and I were doing more harm than good staying together for the sake of staying together. Three days after the last time I spoke to him, I got a call from one of his neighbors telling me that there were newspapers piling up outside his door and that he wasn’t answering. I knew then that he was gone. I knew I was too late.

  I remember trying to call him over and over, but he never answered. Eventually, I called the police and explained I was in Seattle and had no way of checking on him myself. The officer I was connected with told me that he would look into it. It wasn’t until four hours later that I got the call I had been dreading, the call letting me know the only man who had never let me down, never left me, was gone. He had a heart attack and died in his sleep.

  “Bad day?” I don’t jump when Zach’s voice breaks into my reprieve. My body is completely relaxed from the alcohol I’ve consumed, but I do tilt my eyes toward him.

  “Pretty much.” I lift the bottle to my mouth and take another mouthful, swallowing it down.

  “Wanna talk abou
t it?” he asks.

  I lift my head and try to focus on him. “Do you happen to know of a cheap, like, really, really, really, really cheap lawyer?”

  His eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “Why do you need a lawyer?” he growls, and my eyes focus on his, as I correct, “A cheap lawyer.”

  “Okay, why do you need a cheap lawyer?”

  “The usual. My ex is trying to get custody of Hunter, because there was a bear in the house, like I invited the stupid bear in to be with us.” I pause, then drunkenly mumble to myself, “What kind of idiot does he think I am? I would never invite a bear into the house.”

  “What the fuck?”

  “Right?” I sigh, leaning my head back to take another swig of wine.

  “Where’s Hunter?”

  “At a sleepover,” I murmur, focusing on the sky once more.

  “Right. Go in and open the front door.”

  “What?” I frown.

  “Go in and open the front door,” he repeats, and my eyes move to him.

  “For what?”

  “I’m coming over.”

  “You’re not coming over.” I sit up quickly, and almost fall out of my chair in the process.

  “Go open the door, Shelby,” he commands, and my eyes narrow as I hiss back, “No.”

  “Fine,” he mutters, and I start to relax back into my seat then tense when he takes a step back from the railing, puts his hands to the top, and swings his body over, landing on my deck feet first almost silently. I thought the decks between our houses were pretty close, but until then I didn’t realize just how close they were.

  “I can’t believe you just did that,” I mumble, in complete shock.

  “Now, let’s talk.”

  “Zach.”

  “Talk to me,” he demands, pulling one of the other chairs up in front of mine, and takes a seat facing forward with his elbows to his knees.