Wide Open Spaces Read online

  “Trust me, I know you love my mouth.”

  “I love eating you out. I love the way you taste, and how you come so fucking hard every time I’m eating you and you’ve got my cock in your mouth.”

  “Oh, God,” she breathes, and I feel her walls start to spasm.

  “Fuck, come for me. Let me feel you come on my cock. Let me feel how wet you get when you come all over me.”

  “Zach,” she hisses, leaning up, latching onto my shoulder with her teeth, and pulling me along with her as she falls over the edge. Thrusting three more times, I plant myself deep inside her then listen to her wild breathing that matches my own.

  “Remind me to thank Joe for taking the kids,” I say, rolling to my back and dragging her with me.

  “I’ll send her flowers,” she mutters, and I laugh, looking up at the ceiling, then run my fingers down her back. “I love you,” she whispers, not knowing those words mean everything to me, not knowing she has filled the void I felt for so long. She’s given me everything I’ve ever wanted and then some. I was content in my life with my kids, but with her, Hunter, and Penelope, my life is complete and my days are beautiful.

  Shelby

  Seven years later

  “Dad!” Pen yells, and I roll to my stomach, thankful it’s not me she’s after this early, then feel Zach’s mouth touch my shoulder before he gets out of bed. Knowing Pen, there could be a million reasons she’s yelling for her dad, but the most likely reason is she has done something she wasn’t supposed to and is calling him in first to butter him up before involving me. He’s a pushover for his girls, all of us. Not that he isn’t a pushover for Hunter and Steven, but it’s definitely not the same.

  “Jesus, Pen, what the hell are you doing?” I hear him ask, and I groan, pulling my pillow over my head, knowing I probably don’t want to know what she’s done now. Since the time she was a toddler, she’s been on the move and into everything. Plus, she’s smart, so damn smart it scares me.

  “I’m trying to make Aubrey pancakes. It’s her wedding day! She needs to have a good breakfast,” she cries, and I hear pots and pans clinking and then a loud thud, and I roll out of bed, grabbing one of Zach’s flannels on the way to the door. I still can’t believe my girl is getting married. Part of me thinks it’s far too soon for her to be a wife, but the other part of me trusts she’s smart and knows what she wants. Not that it has helped Zach at all—he’s been an angry bear ever since Gabe proposed.

  I didn’t see Aubrey with Gabe in the beginning, but since her freshman year of high school, they have been friends, and then eventually, Gabe—who is a little bit of a nerd—worked up the courage to ask her out, and since then, they have been tight. I know Aubrey loves him, but I don’t know if she’s in love with him, and that is truly my only worry when it come to the two of them getting married. But then again, he’s her best friend, and with a relationship built on that kind of foundation, I don’t see bad things for either of them.

  “Hey, honey.” I smile at a rumpled looking Steven, as he almost sleepily walks into me in the hall. He, on the other hand, gets the heebie-jeebies anytime you even mention commitment or long-term relationship, but I have no doubt he will find someone and fall hard. He’s been going to college in Seattle, close to Max, who has done a one-eighty since the birth of his daughter Justine. He’s even helped Steven out on more than one occasion, when he’s needed a recommendation or just a ride, and is always willing to be there if we can’t for any reason.

  Grunting, he runs his hand through his hair then looks to the side as Hunter comes down the stairs.

  “Sheesh, you’d think Pen would still be in bed. She didn’t go to sleep until after one. What the hell is she doing up? It’s only seven,” he asks, looking at the clock on the wall.

  “You know your sister,” I mutter, moving past them. Hunter has one more year of high school left, and then he’s off to Seattle, where he and Steven plan to get a place together. They were close while they were both living at home, and that bond has only gotten stronger over the years, and every time Hunter flies out to see Max, he bounces between Steven’s dorm and Max’s house.

  Feeling something furry sliding between my feet, I look down and find Dime, who has obviously decided to get away from the chaos in the kitchen. Penny passed away a few years ago, and it took a long time before we were able to get another animal. We didn’t get another dog, but a big, fat tabby cat that Pen decided to name Dime, short for Diamond.

  “I can’t even deal with this right now,” Zach growls, meeting me just outside the kitchen doorway.

  “That bad?” I ask, peeking around him, then feel my eyes widen. The room is covered in hearts, giant and little hearts from all different kinds of paper, all hand-cut at some point. “That’s so sweet,” I whisper, and his eyes narrow.

  “There is pink gunk everywhere.”

  “Pink gunk?” I frown.

  “Pink batter for heart-shaped pancakes,” he grumbles, and I smile.

  “Pen,” Aubrey says, pushing us out of the way to get into the kitchen. “This is so beautiful.” She twirls around, taking in all the decorations, then walks to her sister, grabbing her up into a hug.

  “I think the pancakes turned out more like Mickey Mouse than hearts,” Pen says, sounding disappointed, and Aubrey laughs then looks at me over her shoulder with tears in her eyes.

  “Well, I love Mickey Mouse, so this is going to be one of the best parts of my day.”

  “Oh, God, I’m going to cry,” I blurt, and hear both boys groan then feel Zach’s arms around me. I love my girls, and I’m going to miss having them both home. Even though Aubrey will only be next door. We never sold Zach’s house. We have made a killing off of renting it out over the years, and kept it for extra income, but when Aubrey told us her plans, we told her and Gabe they could have it. Honestly, we’re being greedy, wanting to have Aubrey close. We’re just lucky Gabe’s work allows him to stay in town.

  “Bre, your mom will be here at ten, along with your hair dresser, so if you’re up, you should probably eat and shower,” Zach says, and I lean back to look up at him.

  I can’t say that I like Tina, but she has been better since divorcing her ex two years ago. Before that, she was in and out of the kids’ lives. At first, I tried to make her see what she was giving up, but Zach had been right; it wasn’t my place to force her into being around. She had to figure it out on her own that she was losing her kids because of Thomas. Since her divorce, she has made more of an effort to be there when Steven and Aubrey have needed her, but they are still hesitant when it comes to her because of her past actions, but hopefully, with time, they will move past the disappointments and let downs, and rebuild their relationships with her.

  “Right, since we’re all up, let’s eat, and then we can fight over the hot water, only Aubrey gets first dibs today,” I say, then move away from Zach and into the kitchen, where I find everything is covered in gunk, but I ignore that and focus on the fact the kids are around us, each of them happy and healthy, each of them becoming adults we are proud of. I just wish Samuel was here today. Years ago, Samuel reached out to us when he turned eighteen. Since then, we’ve talked to him on occasion, but have let him lead when it comes to the direction of our relationship. He talks to his siblings more than he talks to us, but just knowing how well he was raised and the kind of man he is, is enough for Zach and me to be content in our decision.

  Feeling Zach’s hand on my back, I soak in the feeling of his touch as I come out of my thoughts.

  “I love you, Shel.” Leaning my head back, I look up into his eyes and close mine briefly. That wide open space that always seemed impossible to fill was filled by him and the kids years ago, but every time I hear him tell me he loves me, it overflows and runs through me, filling me up impossibly full.

  “Love you too,” I whisper, then lean up to kiss him, hearing the kids make gagging sounds, which causes us to laugh against each other’s lips. There is nothing better than this, nothi
ng better than having my family and the love we have for each other.

  Final book in the Shooting Stars Series

  One Last Wish

  Aubrey and Denver

  Finding out my husband, my best friend, only had months to live was devastating.

  Sitting out under the star-filled sky, listening to him wish on star after star, night after night, almost killed me.

  He never wished to get better.

  He wished for me to be happy.

  He wished for me to find the strength to move on.

  I told him his wishes were pointless, because happiness wouldn’t exist without him.

  I found out soon after he passed away that I was pregnant.

  But I had no idea his final wish would bring me something I never thought I’d find again.

  If you haven’t read Fighting to breathe here is an excerpt from that book

  Fighting to Breathe

  Looking out at the ocean, you sometimes forget it’s dangerous.

  The sea is like a woman; you have to respect her, listen to what she’s telling you, and never ever doubt that she has the power destroy you.

  Prologue

  “It’s so beautiful,” I whisper, cuddling deeper into Austin’s side as I look up at the night sky. I swear you can see every single star there is when the nights are clear like this.

  “Yeah,” he grunts, making me smile as his fingers on my arm move in soothing strokes.

  “We graduate in two weeks,” I say while butterflies erupt in my stomach. Austin has been my boyfriend since I was sixteen, and since the very beginning, we have talked about getting married as soon as we graduate high school. I know a lot of people would say we’re too young, but ever since the day I laid eyes on him, I knew he would be my husband.

  “Lea Wolf,” he says, and those butterflies begin to fly faster. I scoot up, place my hands on his chest, and rest my chin on top of them while searching his face. Austin has always appeared older than he is. His dark dirty blonde hair is shaggy, his jaw covered in an ever-present layer of scruff, and his lips that I love so much are full and soft, but as my gaze locks on his, I know his eyes will forever be my favorite thing about him. The crystal blue reminds me of the glaciers near my house, one of the most beautiful places on earth. “You’re going to be my wife, Lea. Are you ready for that?” He runs his finger down the center of my face and brings them to rest under my chin while his thumb sweeps across my lower lip.

  “So ready,” I say, watching anxiousness form on his handsome face. I know he thinks I’ll want more than the life of a fisherman’s wife, a small town life, but deep down I know this is all I will ever need. As long as I have Austin, I don’t need anything else.

  “Graduation, then Vegas,” he rumbles, pulling me up to rest completely on top of him.

  “Graduation, then Vegas,” I agree then smile as his hand on the back of my head pulls me closer until we’re sharing the same breath.

  “I need to get you home,” he breathes against my lips then rolls me to my back, looming over me before dropping his mouth down to mine.

  “I wish we could stay out here all night,” I sigh when his mouth leaves mine.

  “Me too, baby, but I promise you—when summer starts, we’ll sleep outside, under the stars, on the boat, in the middle of the ocean. Out there, you can see everything.”

  “I would like that,” I say, wrapping my arms tighter around him and giving him a squeeze. He pushes back and stands before holding out his hand for me to take, helping me out of the back of his truck, where we had been lying and looking at the dark, starry night.

  “I wonder what’s going on?” I question as we pull up in front of my parents’ house, where the sheriff’s car is parked.

  “Don’t know,” Austin mutters, sounding concerned as he shuts down his truck, gets out, walks around the hood, and opens my door, lifting me out and setting me gently on my feet. As soon as we make it up the front steps and into the house, my confusion turns to worry as I see my mom sitting on the couch, rocking back and forth while sobbing hysterically.

  “What happened?” All eyes turn my way, and my mom lifts her head and begins shaking her hand frantically while tears stream down her cheeks.

  “Have a seat?” Sherriff Jefferson says in a tone that I have never heard from him before as he holds his hand out to me.

  “Mom?” I whisper. My stomach begins to knot, and I feel Austin’s arm slide around me, pulling me closer into his side.

  “I—” my mom starts then covers her face with her hands and sobs harder, the noises coming from her ripping into me, making it hard for me to even breath.

  “What’s going on?” Austin asks, pulling me around and tucking my face into his chest. Even though I know deep down what the sheriff is going to say, nothing can prepare me for hearing the words out loud. Every single one of them strangles me until I’m fighting to breathe.

  “Sorry, Lea, but your dad’s boat disappeared this afternoon after he called in a mayday. The coastguard found his boat, which caught fire; they also, found his skiff, which was empty. They are still searching the water for him, but with the temperature, it’s not looking good.”

  “There’s still a chance, right? He could still be alive?” I practically beg.

  “There’s always a chance,” Austin says, holding me closer.

  But there wasn’t a chance. My dad’s body was never found. They believed the fire spread so quickly on his boat that he didn’t even have a chance to put his survival suit on before he tried to get into his skiff, ending up in the water and either drowning or freezing to death.

  Chapter 1

  15 years later

  “Lea, you need to breathe,” I tell myself as I drive my car onto the ferry that will take me from Anchorage to Cordova. I never thought I would be going home again, not after so many years away, but when my mom called to tell me she had cancer and wanted to be in the home she and my father shared, I could only tell her of course. Even if that meant I’d be going back to a place I left behind, to people I left behind. The only thing I can hope for is never running into Austin, that somehow the town I grew up in had sprawled out and the population became similar to Manhattan, lessening the chances of me ever seeing him again.

  Fifteen years ago, I was crushed under the weight of the loss of my father. I realized then how easily life could change, how quickly someone you loved could be taken from you, and I knew then that I couldn’t stay in Alaska with Austin, not when there was a risk of something happening to him. I also knew after mentioning leaving to him that he never would; his family had been fishing in Alaska for generations.

  He grew up loving the sea, grew up knowing he would spend his life doing something he loved and that one day he would pass his love for fishing down to his son. I couldn’t ask him to choose me, so I left him behind, even though in leaving him, I left a piece of myself. My only hope is the parts of me I was able to salvage would be enough to get me through the rest of my life.

  Leaning over the side of the ferry, I look down at the water then hold out my left hand. Five years ago, I got married. I thought Ken could heal me. I thought the parts of me that were left after losing my father and leaving Austin would finally be full. I knew my father would want me to be happy, and I knew from talks with my mom that Austin had moved on, so it was time for me to do the same, to stop believing he would come after me, that our love was more than just a young girl’s fantasy.

  I tried to give Ken all of me. I tried to make things work, but in the end, I failed and he found what he was looking for in someone else. I won’t say it didn’t hurt, but I wasn’t devastated by the loss of us. I was more upset that the idea of us had been ruined, but if I was honest, I brought it upon myself when I gave him our vows but didn’t follow through on my end.

  Slipping my wedding ring off my finger, I feel tears pool in my eyes as I drop the metal band into the ocean, watching it disappear before squeezing my eyes closed. There was no going back, and now wasn�
�t the time to feel sorry for myself. I needed to pull myself together enough to take care of my mother. My mother, who had flown out to Montana to see me every few months since I left home. My mother, who was never the same after the loss of my father. I’m not sure how I’m going to cope with her illness, or eventually the loss of her, but I know I will need to find a way, especially if I’m going to survive myself.

  “Lea?” My eyes open and I turn my head. “Lea Lamb?” I feel my eyebrows pull downward in confusion as I take in the woman in front of me.

  “Rhonda.” She points at herself and smiles. “We went to school together.”

  “Rhonda?” I repeat in shock. The once chubby girl who didn’t have many friends had become a stunning woman. With red hair that fit her fair skin, her face was round, but her cheekbones were pronounced, showing off her button nose and full lips. “How are you?” I ask, stepping back from the edge of the boat.

  “Good…great, really.” She smiles bigger and places a hand on her stomach, which I realize is large and round, but the stylish coat she’s wearing minimizes it.

  “You look beautiful.”

  “You do too, but then you were always beautiful.” She smiles then waves at someone over my shoulder. Turning my head, I watch a handsome man wearing jeans, a hoodie, and a vest, walking towards us. His long hair is pushed back away from his face and his skin is tan. His sunglasses hide his eyes, but there is something familiar about him.

  “Ben, look who’s here,” Rhonda says, and it takes everything in me to not run away when Ben looks at me, pushes his sunglasses up to the top of his head, and frowns. Ben was Austin’s best friend in high school, and judging by the look in his eyes he’s giving me, he’s not happy to see me.