Wide Open Spaces Read online

  Grabbing my keys from the counter and my purse, I make sure Penny’s good then go out and head for my van. I get in, only to get right back out and head back up to the house to lock the door. Zach found the door unlocked a week ago, and that night, he punished me. Well, punish isn’t the right word for what he did, but being close to coming only to have him pull away time after time was an amazing and annoying way to get his point across, and since then, I haven’t left the door unlocked, so in the end, his plan worked.

  Getting back in the van, I start it up and head first for the bank to make a few deposits, and then run the rest of my errands before heading for the store. Once I’m there, I grab a cart on the way in and start making my way down each aisle, picking up stuff along the way. Looking at the feminine products, I freeze in place. Doing the math in my head, I feel my pulse speed up. I had birth control placed in my arm a little over two years ago. My periods have always been a little wonky since then, but I’ve never been as late as I am right now.

  “No…” I breathe.

  “Don’t tell me you’re pregnant,” I hear from behind me, and I spin around, coming face-to-face with Tina, and feel the color drain from my face. “Didn’t take you long to figure out how to trap him, did it?” she asks, making me flinch, and nausea turns my stomach. Without saying a word to her, I pull my purse from the basket, leave the groceries in the cart behind, and then move down the aisle as fast as I can.

  There is only one way to find out for sure if I’m pregnant, and in order to do that, I will need to take a test, but there is no way I’m buying one right now. Heading out of the store, I move straight for my car, get in, start it up, and head for home. I know the kids will be home soon from school, and I won’t have a second to myself once they arrive. Pulling up in front of the house, I put my van in park, pick up my cell phone from the cup holder, and put it to my ear.

  “Hey, ShellaBella,” Joe answers, and I lean my forehead against the steering wheel. I don’t know when she started calling me that, but I’ve loved it since the first time she said it, because it’s what my mom used to singsong to me every time I walked into the house after school. “You there, sweetie?”

  “I’m here,” I choke out, then hear rustling coming from her side of the phone.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Nope, I don’t think I’m okay. I think I’m pregnant,” I blurt, wondering if I should have taken a moment to get myself together before calling her.

  “What?” she whispers, then more rustling comes from her side.

  “I think I’m pregnant.”

  “Oh my.”

  “I know,” I agree, nodding, not that she can see it.

  “What do you need me to do?” she asks, and I let my eyes slide closed. She said she would be here for me, and she has been every single time I’ve called her. I should probably find a way to pay her back for being so awesome. “Never mind. I’ll stop at the store, grab a test, and be on my way in five. Keep it together, sweetie. It’s going to be just fine. You’ll see.”

  “Thank you, Joe.”

  “Anything, sweetie, you know that.” She hangs up, and I pick up my purse from the seat next to me and head into the house, where I pace until I hear her car pull up outside. Before she’s even out of the car, I open the front door and step down to the porch that Zach and the boys painted a soft yellow last weekend. At first, I was unsure about the color and changing what the house looked like from the outside, but every time I pull up to the house, I love it a little more. The color adds something special and was our first family project.

  “Thank you for coming.” I hug Joe as soon as she makes it the top of the stairs, feeling her arms wrap around my back.

  “Everything is going to be okay. Try to calm down.” She hugs me tighter, and I breathe in and out, trying to get myself to calm down, something that seems impossible to do right now.

  Pulling back, she searches my face, then mutters, “Let’s go inside. It’s cold out here.”

  “Right.” I move back into the house, and she follows me then stops just inside the front door. “Oh my, what in the world is going on?”

  “Zach and the kids are moving in,” I remind her, looking around at the boxes stacked here and there, paint blocks painted on the walls from Aubrey and me trying to decide what colors will go where. The doorbell in pieces on a mat in the living room since Zach is fixing it and a puzzle started on the coffee table.

  “I thought they moved in last month?”

  “They did, but we’ve been painting, sorting through everything, trying to get rid of doubles of stuff we don’t need, and fixing things up as we go.

  “Sheesh, it looks like a bomb exploded. When this drama is over, I’ll come help you sort this mess out,” she mutters, resting her hands on her hips, and my eyes zero in on the brown bag in her hand.

  “Is that the test?” I question, as my pulse ramps up speed.

  “Yep.” She holds it out toward me, and part of me wants to snatch it from her grasp, while another part of me is way too scared to find out the truth. “You know everything is going to be okay. You and Zach are solid. You’ve already built a family with him. If this test comes up positive, you will just be adding another member to the family you’ve already got. Neither of you are kids anymore. You’ve both got careers and share a home. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “I’ve been telling myself that. I really have, but what if he doesn’t want more kids? What if he’s upset about this?”

  “Do you know your man at all?” she asks gently, raising a brow, and I pull in a breath through my nose.

  “This is one thing we haven’t talked about. We never discussed having more kids. I mean, we’re not old, but our kids are older. How will they feel about this?”

  “I don’t know, sweetie, but I do know you guys will figure it all out as a family. You will find a way to make it work. And I know Zach will make sure you’re happy.”

  She’s right. Zach will make sure I’m happy. He always makes sure the kids and I are happy, that we all feel safe and loved.

  “You’re right,” I agree, taking the bag from her as she holds it closer to me.

  “Go on, I’ll wait out here.” She nods toward the hall and I give in and head for the bedroom.

  Sitting on the toilet, I hear the door in the bedroom open and assume it’s Joe, but then let out a squeak when Zach opens the bathroom door and steps in, closing it behind him.

  “What are you doing here?” I panic, moving to stand in front of the sink, where the test I took is sitting, so I can block it from his sight.

  “Tina called me.”

  Fuck!

  “Oh yeah? What’s going on? Is she okay?” I try to play it off, but I know from the look on his face she told him what she saw in the store.

  “Baby,” he says softly, and I feel my bottom lip start to tremble.

  “I don’t even know if it’s positive.” I close my eyes and feel him place his hand against my cheek.

  “You took a test?”

  “Yes, but I have to wait three minutes, and it’s only been about two or so.”

  “Let me see it.”

  “Zach—”

  “Let me see it, baby,” he repeats, holding out his hand.

  “I hate when you’re bossy.”

  “Too bad, now let me see the test.”

  “It has pee on it,” I gripe, not sure if I want him to see it, and his jaw clenches.

  “Shel.”

  “Fine.” I move aside, but don’t look at the test or him as I see him pick it up off the counter. “Two lines mean yes,” I explain, wishing I was brave enough to look at the it myself.

  “You’re not pregnant,” he says quietly, sounding disappointed, and I feel a pain hit my chest. I didn’t realize how much I wanted a baby with him until this moment; I didn’t even realize it was something we could possibly have again. With everything going on, I hadn’t even thought about it.

  “I’m not?” Tears fill my eye
s as he holds up the test between us and I see there is nothing there. The screen is completely blank. “It’s broken.” I frown, and his head tilts, studying me then the test. “There should be one line at least, but there isn’t. Something is wrong with the test.”

  “Do you have more?”

  “No, Joe only brought one.”

  “Give me ten. I’ll be back.”

  “Zach—”

  “Ten, baby. Breathe for me. It’s going to be okay. All right?” He holds my gaze.

  Swallowing, I nod, and then his lips are at the top of my head, where he kisses me before tipping my head back with his hands under my chin so he can place a soft kiss against my lips, and then he’s disappearing out the door.

  “I didn’t mean to listen, but I heard. You may want to drink this, since you’re gonna have to go again,” Joe says, coming into the bedroom holding a glass of water, and I take it from her, drinking it down without thinking.

  “It’s probably not okay to have tequila right now, is it?” I ask, and she laughs.

  “No.” She turns on the tap and fills the glass again before handing it back to me. “He didn’t seem mad,” she states, and I nod, drinking down the water in large gulps.

  “He wasn’t. I think he was disappointed when he thought it was negative,” I whisper, and her face softens.

  “Not to say ‘I told you so,’ but I told you so.” She smiles then takes the glass out of my hand once more. “You should sit down. You’re shaking.”

  I look down at my hands and see they are trembling, and then let her lead me to the bedroom, where I take a seat on the bed and wait for what seems like an eternity for Zach to get back.

  Zach

  “She’s in the room,” Joe says, as I step into the house, and I lift my chin toward her, closing the door behind me. “The kids get out of school soon, so I’ll pick them up along with mine.” She grabs her coat that’s lying over a stack of boxes.

  “Thanks, Joe,” I mutter, as she slips on her coat and grabs her key out of her pocket.

  “Anytime, let me know if you need anything else.” She smiles then disappears. Taking off my jacket, I toss it over the same stack of boxes then make my way down the hall toward the bedroom.

  I knew Tina calling my cell out of the blue this afternoon meant drama. We haven’t really spoke since she called to tell me she was sick of hearing how perfect Shelby was from Steven and Aubrey. There was nothing I could do about my kids liking Shel, and nothing I would do, even if I could. I’m thrilled our kids get along and that we all get along together. I had no clue when I answered her call that she would send me into a panic. I wasn’t worried about the words she spewed; I was worried about Shel and what she was going through, so I hung up and drove to the house without even stopping to think.

  Opening the bedroom door, Shel is sitting on the bed with her hands in her lap and her eyes blank, making me instantly on guard.

  “Joe’s gonna get the kids from school. We’ll go get them from her later.”

  “Sure,” she says, but her tone is one I haven’t heard from her before, one I never want to hear again after today. Setting the bag in my hand onto the dresser, I move to where she’s sitting and get down on my knees in front of her, taking her hands in mine.

  “You know I love you, right?” I ask, and her eyes meet mine as she nods. “And you love me, right?” I request, just to confirm, running my fingers over her pulse.

  “Yes.” She threads her fingers through mine.

  “When I saw you weeks ago with Braden in your lap, I wondered if us having another child was possible,” I confess softly, and her eyes flash. “I didn’t bring it up. I figured we’d have time and that I could work on convincing you to carry my baby after things settled around here and we got married.”

  “You wanted another baby?” She blinks, and I smile at her surprised look.

  “With you, yes. You’re an amazing mom. Hunter, Steven, and Aubrey are lucky to have you in their lives, and I know if we do have a child, that child will grow up surrounded by love. Absolutely, I want another baby with you. So regardless of what the test says after you take it, know that it’s something I will be happy about if it’s positive, and something I’ll be looking forward to if it’s not. I don’t want you to be upset. I never want you to be upset about the idea of being pregnant with our child.”

  “What about the kids? How are they going to feel?”

  “Hunter and Bre will be excited. Steven will try to play it cool, because that’s what he does, but I have no doubt he’ll be happy about it too. We will all adjust. This is meant to be. Every single thing that has happened between us was meant to happen. The bad and the good have led us here.”

  Pulling a breath in through her nose, she nods then looks toward the door. “I have to go.”

  “You’re not going anywhere,” I growl, and she tugs her hand from mine and rests it against my cheek.

  “No, I need to go.” She tips her head toward the bathroom, smiling, and my body uncoils.

  “Right,” I mutter, standing, then pull her up from the bed. Grabbing the bag from the dresser, I follow her, opening one of the boxes on the way and handing her the test.

  “How many did you buy?”

  “Five.” I shrug, and her lips twitch while her hands on the button of her jeans pause. “Can you wait outside?”

  “No.”

  “No?” She frowns.

  “Baby, I’ve seen every inch of you. I’m not leaving.”

  “You can come right back in.” She sighs, planting her hands on her hips and glaring at me.

  “Or I can wait right here while you go.”

  “Zach, please, I won’t be able to if you’re standing over me. Just step out for a second.”

  “Fine.”

  “Thank you, sheesh,” she grumbles, as I close the door behind me and wait to hear the toilet flush, and then go back in, gaining another glare from her as she zips up her jeans and washes her hands. “Haven’t you ever heard ‘watched water never boils?’” she asks, and I look up from the test and smile.

  “Pregnancy test do.” I pick up the test I already see is positive and watch her eyes widen.

  “That wasn’t even two minutes.”

  “You’re pregnant.”

  “Holy shit.” She covers her mouth, looking at the test then me. “I’m pregnant.”

  “We’re having a baby.” I drop the test and gather her into my arms, hearing her sob as she buries her face against my chest. “I hope these are happy tears,” I whisper, rubbing her back as she cries.

  “Yes, very happy.” She sniffles.

  Gathering her hair in my hand, I pull her head back and search her face. “I love you, baby, and I swear to God everything will be okay.”

  “I know it will. You’re right. This was meant to be, all of it,” she sobs again, and I tuck her head under my chin and hold her there until she’s calm and her crying has died down. I don’t know what I did to deserve all the beauty I have in my life, but I know there will never be a moment I’m not thankful for it.

  Shelby

  Looking at each of the kids’ faces, I wait for their reaction. Zach and I waited until today, when I got my blood test and ultrasound, to tell them about the pregnancy. I’ve hated keeping this news from them, but needed to make sure everything was okay and that the five tests I took were not wrong before sharing the news.

  “Oh, my God!” Aubrey screams, tackling me with a hug, and I smile, kissing the side of her head.

  “Yes!” Hunter fist pumps into the air then wraps his arms around Aubrey and me, rocking us back and forth and making me laugh.

  “Steven?” I whisper, looking over Hunter’s shoulder, catching him looking at us. Shaking his head and smiling, he steps toward us, joining in on the hug, pulling back after only a second, but still that second meant everything. This moment is everything. I never thought I would have what I have right now, didn’t even dare to dream it.

  Epilogue

&n
bsp; Zach

  One year later

  “If you tease me any more, I swear I’ll scream,” Shel whispers, and I smile against her mouth but keep my thrusts even and slow. “Zach, I’m not kidding. Please stop messing around,” she begs, tightening her legs around my hips while digging her nails into my back. I miss being inside of her. I miss it so fucking much that when I get it, I need to savor it like right now.

  “Slow, baby. Later, we’ll go fast.”

  “No, fast, and then we’ll go slow.”

  “I’ll tell you what…” I thrust deep and keep myself there while looking down into her beautiful face. “If you can get me over onto my back, I’ll do whatever you want.”

  “But I like this position,” she complains, rolling her hips and making my balls draw up.

  “Then relax.” I smile, moving my hand to between her legs, rolling my fingers over her clit, which has her back arching off the bed and her core strangling my cock. “Fuck, how are you so goddamn tight?” I hiss, licking up the side of her neck and nipping her ear.

  “Maybe because we never have sex anymore,” she gripes, and I feel her laugh and pull my face out of her neck to look down at her, smiling.

  “Have I been neglecting your pussy?”

  “Well, no, but…” She lets the last word hang.

  “But what?”

  “Shower sex isn’t the same,” she grumbles, and I nod. It’s not, but with a five-month-old and three big kids, there isn’t a lot of time. Still.

  “I ate you out this morning,” I remind her, something she should know, since she’s the one who sat on my face and sucked me off while I did it.

  “I know, but I miss you like this, on me and in me. I know it’s stupid.”

  “It’s not stupid.” I pull out and thrust in hard. “I miss fucking you. I miss you being loud.” I thrust in again, only harder this time. “I fucking love how wet you get for me, how your pussy can’t seem to get enough and holds on like my cock is going to disappear. I miss this,” I say, taking her hands and pulling them up above her head, holding them there with one of mine, then reach down, pulling her nipples. “I miss all of this too, baby. You’re not the only one. But I still love your mouth around me.” I grin, and she laughs.