Sharing Hell (Hell Virus Book 3) Read online

  My emotions were running high when we entered the fifth room, and I was relieved to find it as empty as the first three. Without warning, tears gushed from my eyes, and I started crying quietly. I was vaguely aware of Avi’s sound of alarm as he came nearer, sliding an arm around my shoulders as he inquired what was wrong.

  I shook my head, unable to gain control of myself for a long moment as tears slowed to a trickle. With a sniff, I finally managed to answer as I snuggled closer. “I’m fine. Really.” I tacked that on his skeptical look. “Something about the couple in that room just tugged at my heartstrings, I guess. So many people died alone, but at least they had each other. The way they were entwined, so obviously close…” I trailed off as I sniffled again, determined not to have another crying fit.

  “I guess they were lucky in a way than. Not that they got the virus, but at least they had each other until the end.”

  I nodded my agreement. “I think I’m a little envious. Not of their deaths, of course, but of the fact that they had each other. I want that too. My father died when I was little, and my mother was so devoted to him that she never dated again. I remember asking her once when I was older if she was lonely, and she told me that she had all their memories to keep her company.”

  “So you want to love someone so fiercely that you remain in mourning for the rest of your life if they die?”

  I blinked at the way he had interpreted it. “No, I just want that closeness.” I sensed the potential of finding it with Chris and Finn, and a sharp pull of attraction shot through me again as I remembered just how much I liked Avi too. I hadn’t exactly forgotten, but the awareness of the attraction had faded slightly in the face of the required mindset to finish our goals for the day, combined with the emotional onslaught of finding the couple in the room next door.

  His lip curled slightly. “I don’t believe there’s a love like that. I think you can want someone with an insane amount of desire, but I don’t believe love lasts a lifetime.” Bitterness tinged his words.

  Without thought, I turned to face him, and his arm fell away from my shoulders. I reached out to touch his face, cupping his cheek. “You sound like you speak from experience.”

  “Indirect experience. My father was a big admirer of true love—so much so that every time he thought he fell in love, he had no qualms about leaving his previous wife or partner. Before he died, which was from a stroke the year before HLV appeared, I had seven stepmothers, countless unofficial stepmothers who had been part of my life for a short time, and my real mother, who was a pale shell of herself, at least according to her sisters. My father had broken her heart.

  “I also had various combinations of half-brothers and sisters, though I think they all died. I wasn’t in contact with most of them, because when my father moved on, he usually really moved on. I think I was the only the exception simply because I was his eldest son, and the bearer of his legacy, or some nonsense like that.”

  I licked my lips as I realized how dry they were. “You don’t believe love is real?”

  He lifted a shoulder. “I’m not really sure. I haven’t seen any evidence of it.”

  “What about in your own life?” I moved a step closer. “You must have had someone special at some point?”

  He hesitated for a moment before lifting his shoulder again in a semi-shrug. “No, not really. I think my father put me off the whole idea.”

  “That’s still how you feel?” as I asked the question, I started to take a step back.

  A moment later, his arms were around me, pressing me nearer to him. “Things have changed a bit, I guess. I was never so lonely before.”

  “And you’re tired of being lonely?”

  Once more, he shrugged. “Of course I am. I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

  My eyes widened. “Why would it matter what I think?”

  “It matters because you’re pressed against me, and I’m sure you feel the same pull I do. I want you, but I don’t want to hurt you, and I can’t promise things I won’t deliver.”

  Call me all kinds of fools, but I sensed his heart wasn’t fully in his words. He was saying what he thought he felt, but there was a difference in his expression that was at odds with the words coming from his mouth. He probably wasn’t even aware of the hint of longing in his voice, or the yearning in his eyes.

  He held me tenderly, and while he was saying hard things I didn’t want to hear, I was having a difficult time believing he really meant them. I thought he believed he meant them, but he was in denial. Either that, or I was, and I was willing to go in blindly and risk my heart, because I wanted him so badly.

  He didn’t push me away when I stepped closer, winding my arms around his neck as I tipped my head upward. After the briefest pause, his head lowered as well, and our lips met. There was a moment of tentativeness, perhaps some uncertainty, as we felt out each other, testing the newness of the connection between us.

  After a moment, the kiss deepened, and I snuggled closer to him, until his arms clamped tightly around me. We were pressed so hard against each other that it was difficult to tell where I ended and he began. All the while, his mouth devoured mine, and I was an active participant.

  My hands tore at Avi’s clothes as his moved freely around my body. He backed me against the table in the corner, and I let out a small sound of surprise when he suddenly lifted me up and placed my butt on the edge. There was a bed available to us, but who knew when it had last been cleaned even before HLV, so I preferred the table.

  He took a step back from me for a moment, just long enough to undo his pants and lower them to his ankles. It had to be a quickie, since we were both on foraging duty, and others were waiting for us. I made a promise to myself that I’d have more time with him next time.

  While he did that, I wiggled out of my jean shorts and laid them on the table beside me. My panties were tangled up in the denim, and I was completely bare to him when he returned to me.

  Avi put his arm around me again, drawing me closer while I angled my chin upward to catch his lower lip between mine, sucking gently. He moaned at the action, and one of his hands cupped my breast. It was a brief caress, since there wasn’t time for much else, but then his fingers moved between my legs, delving in to find my clit. He stroked me until I was on the edge of coming before he pulled away. I glared at him. “I was almost there.”

  He grinned at me. “I thought we should go together.” It was a cocky remark, delivered with a hint of a smirk, and he’d better be able to back it up.

  Avi fished in his pocket for something, and my eyes widened when he pulled out a small box of condoms. “Were you expecting to get lucky today?”

  He shook his head, his dark hair flying into his face as he did so. “No, I was just kind of hoping. I didn’t think I was imagining the pull between us the other day.”

  I shook my head, not too bothered by the fact he had been prepared, just in case. “Check the expiration date though.”

  He flipped over the box and spent a moment reading before looking up with a grin. “We have three months to use these.”

  I eyed the box doubtfully. “If there are only three in there, I think we can use them well before they expire.”

  “I wish we had time use them all right now.” As he spoke, he sheathed his cock before coming closer to me again. I leaned back slightly, providing a better angle, and the head of his cock nudged into my opening a moment later. He slid inside slowly, ensuring I was truly ready—and I definitely was—before he started thrusting faster. I clung to him, my fingers probably leaving grooves in his hips, as he took me over the edge. I hadn’t been far away from it, and he was still thrusting when the first waves of pleasure started to settle.

  Avi angled his hips differently, adjusting our position so that the head of his cock pushed against my g-spot with each thrust. It was enough to ratchet my desire higher again, and as I felt him start to twitch inside me before he came, I found another release.

  There
was no time for cuddling or talking, since we had a mission to finish, and we quickly cleaned up and redressed, though we exchanged a heated glance before leaving the fifth room and moving on to the next.

  The rest of the area was pretty much the same. We discovered a few more bodies, and we managed to get some things of use, as had the rest of the teams. When we met back at the truck, we had a nearly full truck, so that meant we weren’t done yet. We would scavenge until it got later, or until the trucks were filled. That was their routine.

  When we finally finished for the day, this time I sat beside Avi, my hand discreetly between us and cupped under his thigh to have a tangible connection between us that made me feel better about being on the other side of Crowe. Again, he sent my instincts flaring to life, and I was puzzled since I didn’t have the anxiety of a foraging mission ahead of me. It didn’t make sense, and I decided maybe my intuition was on to something, and I shouldn’t completely disregard it.

  Chapter Six

  That night when I entered the cafeteria for dinner, I searched for a familiar face. I didn’t see any of the men with whom I was involved, but I caught sight of Alyssa and made my way to her table after getting a tray. It was only as I took the last seat that I realized I had sat beside the Asian man whom I had offended earlier yesterday. I flashed him a cautious smile before sharing a greeting with everyone at the table. As soon as it was feasible, I lowered my voice not to be heard by the others, though they were having their own conversation focused on Jamar’s snoring, so I doubted they would hear anything anyway.

  Pitching my voice low just the same, I said, “I didn’t mean to offend you yesterday. I wasn’t trying to make any assumptions. Avi had sent me to the class, and I saw you there and presumed you were the instructor. It certainly wasn’t because you’re Chinese. It was simply because you were the only person there at the time besides myself.” I held my breath as I finished the statement, awaiting his reaction.

  He surprised me by giving a rueful smile. “I realized that later. I apologize for overreacting and assuming you were stereotyping me. I have some hang-ups about the whole issue.”

  I nodded, uncertain what to say. “Um, well, thanks for accepting my apology.”

  “I hope you accept mine as well?”

  I nodded once more as I turned my attention to the food on the tray. It was some kind of canned meat in white gravy served over noodles. Not the most appealing thing, but it was filling.

  “How was your training session?”

  I looked up as Shane asked the question, giving him a puzzled frown.

  “I heard you started martial arts training with Chris Daniels.”

  It was funny that he brought that up, since it was indirectly the topic I’d been discussing with the man beside me. “I was just telling…” I trailed off and frowned as I sent him a questioning look. I still didn’t know his name.

  “Lian Chang.”

  “I’m Natalie.” I figured the introduction was technically unnecessary, since there probably wasn’t a man on base who didn’t know I was there now, and that wasn’t being arrogant. That was simply the reality since word seemed to spread quickly. I returned my attention to Shane to finish speaking. “I was just telling Lian about it.” That wasn’t quite true, but close enough. “It was fine.”

  “So is he,” said Alyssa with a grin. That earned her three stern glares from her partners, which she apparently shrugged off. “Relax, guys. The three of you are more than enough for me.”

  I chuckled even as the thought struck me that I now technically had three men in my own private harem. None of the three knew about the other though, and that could get awkward quickly. I’d have to talk to them and explain my involvement with each one. They had known the parameters of a relationship, and that I would likely be sharing, but it wasn’t fair to keep any of the three in the dark about the identity of the others.

  “How did you end up here, Lian?” I asked as Alyssa bantered with her men.

  “Avi found me scavenging for supplies a few months ago, and he offered me a spot here once he found out I was taking care of my father.”

  My eyes widened. “Your dad is immune too?”

  He nodded just once. “For a while, we thought my mother was as well, but she turned out to be dormant rather than immune.”

  I put my hand briefly over his, acting out of instinct and compassion. He stiffened under the touch, but didn’t pull away. I kept the pat brief before withdrawing my hand. “I’m sorry about your mother.”

  He nodded once, and though the motion was terse, I could see there was still raw pain in his gaze. It sharply reminded me of my own loss, and how much I missed my mom. I blinked back tears and fell into silence for a long moment.

  I was surprised when Lian reached out to put a hand on my thigh, just a few inches above the knee. I looked at him questioningly.

  “I’m sorry if I brought up bad memories. You look like you’re about to cry.”

  I feared my smile was a little wobbly, but at least I held the tears in check. “It just made me think about my own mom. And then I started thinking about everything else, which is something I try not to do. If I dwell on what I’ve lost, I can’t seem to function and move forward.”

  His mouth twisted. “I understand. I wish my father had that perspective, or at least the insight to see for himself that he’s stuck in the past and unable to move forward until he accepts all the changes around him.”

  I got the feeling he was talking about more than just his mother’s passing, but I didn’t pry. Things felt tenuous between us, and though his hand remained on my thigh, I wasn’t certain how much of a link that really was. I was still just as attracted to him as I had been, and there was a chance he found me attractive as well, but he struck me as cautious. I could relate, having been so before HLV changed everything.

  I was still cautious when it was appropriate, like before entering an un-cleared building, but I was growing progressively less cautious each day when it came to my personal life. If I hadn’t, there was no way I could have opened myself up to three different men already, while considering Lian as number-four.

  There was no real evidence he wanted that though, so I tried to keep the conversation lighter. As I regained control of my emotions, I felt bereft at the loss of his touch when he moved his hand away from my leg. He couldn’t stay there forever anyway, but I definitely reeled at the disconnect. It was slightly disconcerting to have such a strong, immediate reaction to someone, but it wasn’t exactly surprising after having experienced something similar with Chris, Finn, and Avi.

  I’d just said something to make Lian laugh when there was a sharp, short burst of a language I didn’t understand. I assumed immediately it must be Chinese as I looked up to see a tall Asian man definitely old enough to be Lian’s father standing a few feet away. The effect he had on his son was instantaneous, as all hint of amusement disappeared from his expression, and his shoulders firmed.

  I could feel his withdrawal even before he started to stand up. He nodded at me once, but didn’t speak again as he stood up to approach his father. I tried not to stare openly as I watched from the corner of my eye while they had a brief, obviously heated, discussion. Lian’s shoulders were stiff, and his spine was fully straight as he followed his father out of the cafeteria.

  The interaction appeared to have gone unnoticed by everyone else at the table, and I returned my attention to my tray. I was feeling a bit lonely despite the presence of the others, so it was nice when Avi took the seat beside me. I gave him a small smile and leaned a bit closer to him. Under the table, he wrapped his hand around mine, and we squeezed for a moment before pulling apart so he could start eating, and I could finish.

  As I approach the end of my meal, he leaned closer, his voice pitched to a whisper when he asked, “Do you want to come back to my room after dinner?”

  I nodded, excited by the prospect of a more leisurely interlude, and waited for him to finish eating.

  A few m
inutes later, we walked out of the cafeteria together, and he surprised me by taking my hand in his as we approached the exit. I wasn’t certain if it was a spontaneous gesture of affection, or a more primitive need to mark me as his territory that prompted the response. Either way, it felt nice to have his hand around mine, and I enjoyed not having to hide our connection—though I hoped we didn’t run into Chris or Finn on the way, because I wanted to tell them in a more discreet fashion about Avi and vice versa.

  I had every intention of telling Avi about my additional two partners as soon as we were in his room, but he had other ideas, and his way of thinking quickly persuaded me. As soon as the door closed, he moved me against it, cupping my face in his hands as he gave me this long, slow kiss. This was much better than the earlier interaction, and I melted against him.

  Slowly, Avi eased us to the bed, though our kiss never broke. I sat down, followed by him, and he pushed me back gently before straddling my thighs. He buried his face in the hollow of my throat and inhaled, as though savoring the scent of me. I did something similar by lightly sniffing his hair. He smelled good, of some kind of peppermint shampoo mingled with his own personal scent. It was enough to kick my heart rate up another notch.

  I hadn’t taken the time to change clothes before coming to dinner, and I regretted that now. “I could use a shower.”

  He grinned at me as he slid off the bed before pulling me off carefully, urging me to stand beside him. “That can be arranged.”

  I followed him into the bathroom, finding it was similar to mine, and as he started to strip, I did the same. He reached in and flicked on the water, testing it after a moment before nodding. “I hope it isn’t too hot. Check before you step in.”

  I stuck my arm in the shower, turning my wrist upright to feel the heat from the water. I moaned in satisfaction. “It’s perfect.”

  “Not as perfect as you.” As he spoke the words, Avi lifted me up and swung me into the shower/tub combo before following me inside. The water was heaven as it rained down on us, and I took the bar of soap he offered, quickly lathering up. He did the same, and though our motions were ostensibly brisk and efficient, there was definitely an element of teasing involved. I spent longer than necessary soaping my breasts, allowing pink nipples to peek out between my spread fingers. He retaliated by working lather up and down the length of his thick cock several times while it jutted forward, as though seeking me out.