Sharing Hell (Hell Virus Book 3) Read online

  “He sounds protective.” Maybe overprotective. I was glad at that moment that I hadn’t experienced any spark with him, because I didn’t want someone to protect or take care of me. I could take care of myself, and I appreciated Alyssa having blazed the trail for me so I didn’t have to fight for what I wanted on my own. At least not for the right to go out with the others, if this Avi approved me.

  She took me aboveground, and I soon realized we were heading toward the firing range. There were already a few people in the various stalls someone had fashioned in the open air, and a handsome man moved among them. He had short black hair and coppery skin, and when my eyes clashed with his brown ones, I caught my breath. It was that same galloping heart, tingling feeling sweeping through me that I’d experienced with Chris and Finn.

  Alyssa walked up to him, tapping him on the shoulder. He slid his ear protection down around his neck as he followed her back to my direction. When he stopped before me, I took the hand he extended, but we didn’t quite shake. It was more of a caress of his palm against mine, and we held each other for a moment before we finally remembered to let go.

  “Avi, this is Natalie Henner, the new recruit. Natalie, this is Avi Epstein. He’s the one who decides if you’re qualified to go on supply runs and serve as part of the defense team, so impress him.” With a wink and a wave, Alyssa turned and walked away. That left me alone with Avi, except for a handful of people a few feet behind him, who were all engrossed in firing weapons.

  “Tell me about your experience.”

  His voice was deep and perfect, sending shivers down my spine. I cleared my throat and tried to focus on giving a coherent answer rather than staring openly at him while wiping away the drool. “I did supply runs, and I also had guard duty back at Camp Utopia.”

  He questioned me about runs and posited different scenarios, asking how I would react. Before I knew it, twenty minutes had passed, and we were talking about my experience on the surface, but I felt like there was an entirely different, nuanced conversation taking place underneath. I was positive he felt the attraction sparking between us, so it was a bit frustrating to have him focus solely on business. That was his job, and I reminded myself that he had a responsibility to ensure safety for everyone, so I tried to keep my head focused on why we were there.

  “Okay, let’s see you shoot.”

  I followed him over to one of the free shooting stalls, accepting the ear protection he passed me. The headband fit snugly over my head, clamping my ears a little uncomfortably, but I would appreciate the extra protection when I started firing either one of my pistols.

  I checked my guns as he set up a target for me and then laid them out on the stall. When he nodded at me to begin, I started with a gun in my left hand, making several neat shots in the chest target. I aimed for the head with my right hand, which was my dominant, and placed an almost perfect circle around the center target located there. Then I showed him my skills using both at once, placing shots right where I wanted them. When he started to drag in the target using the manual pulley system, I knew my skills assessment was over and flicked the safety on my guns before returning them to my holster. I felt pretty good about my performance as he reeled in the target, spending a moment looking at it before giving me an appraising glance. I grinned at him.

  “That’s some impressive work, Natalie. How did you get so good?”

  “I had a lot of time on my hands, especially in the beginning at Camp Utopia. When our leader, Ben, offered to teach me how to shoot, I took him up on it. He said I was a natural, but I’ve spent a lot of time honing my skills.”

  He nodded. “You have every reason to be proud. I don’t see a good reason not to assign you to runs, but from what you’ve told me, you don’t have any real combat experience, at least when it comes to hand-to-hand.”

  Disappointment welled as I realized he was about to sideline me and opened my mouth to protest.

  Before I could, he added, “Report to the gym this afternoon and participate in the classes offered. I want your combat skills roughly equivalent to your shooting skills.”

  I frowned. “Does that mean I can’t go out until I’m finished taking those classes?”

  He shook his head. “No, I’m going to recommend you for supply runs and guard duty, but with the caveat that you work on those skills.”

  I nodded, excitement spiraling through me. “It’s a deal.”

  “Before you leave, I want to show you something though.”

  I followed him back to the shooting stall, reaching for my ear protection automatically. He shook his head as he came to stand behind me.

  “I want you to be able to hear what I say, and you aren’t actually going to be shooting. None of the other shooters are actively engaged in firing at the moment, so it should be fine for a couple of minutes.”

  As he spoke, his body aligned behind mine, and his hands moved my hips. For a moment, I was convinced he was going to pull me back against him, and I intended to let him. It was a bit of a letdown when he said, “Draw your guns and hold them out like you’re going to shoot. Leave the safeties on.”

  I did as he’d instructed, and then his hands moved over me slowly. He straightened one of my elbows and twisted my hip just a bit, before nudging my knee to loosen the locked position, using his own leg to do so. Then his body curved behind mine to keep me in that position, and his lips were near my ear. “This is how you should stand when you’re firing both. You’re good, and I have a feeling you could hit just about anything you aim at, but you can maintain this position for longer without fatigue, should the need arise.”

  My hands trembled slightly, and I returned my guns to their holsters, but didn’t move away from him. Instead, I turned my head and moved my face so that our mouths were almost touching. “I think I could hold this position all day.”

  His lips twitched, and he eased a bit closer to me, but we didn’t actually touch. “We’ll have to find out sometime, won’t we?”

  I let out a harsh sigh as he took a step back, his hands dropping away from my hips where he had held me. His expression indicated he was back to business, so I was unsurprised when the only other thing he said to me was a reminder to show up for class that afternoon.

  After leaving Avi, I wasn’t certain what I was supposed to do with myself. Alyssa had had no further instructions, and Avi hadn’t known either.

  It occurred to me that I should probably seek out the infirmary and get a package of birth-control pills. Until now, I’d had no reason to take them, but I was certain that would soon be changing, and I should start now to prepare for the future.

  I asked for directions, ending up with two men escorting me to the infirmary. They were friendly and flirtatious, both with sweet and respectful manners, but while they were attractive, they didn’t do anything for me personally. It was no hardship to part from them at the infirmary, though they seemed disappointed.

  I stepped inside to find what looked like a modern clinic. It certainly put to shame the infirmary Grace had to work with at Camp Utopia. She was based out of a tent, and the other half was the cafeteria.

  There was no one in the entryway, or the sign-in room, so I moved down the hallway, finding three exam rooms. The first one was empty, but the second one had an occupant. He was facing away from me, currently loading linens onto a shelf in a cabinet mounted to the wall, and he gave me a great view of the buttocks in front of me. They were taut and nicely formed, encased to perfection by the snug denim hugging them.

  I tore my gaze from his butt and cleared my throat. As he turned around, I realized he was Finn McHugh. I frowned at him. “What are you doing in the infirmary? I thought you were a vet?”

  He grinned. “I wasn’t quite a vet, but I was close. I’m also the closest thing we have to a doctor here. There are a couple of soldiers with some medic training, but Collier thought I’d be better for this role. I take care of people as they get sick or patch them up, and at night, I try to learn about the differe
nces in anatomy between humans and animals.”

  I guess we did have one advantage at Camp Utopia, because though we didn’t have all the fancy equipment and setup they had here, at least Grace was a physician’s assistant, which meant she’d actually treated real people before HLV. “How’s that working out for you?”

  He grinned. “I haven’t lost a patient all week.”

  I groaned as I walked deeper into the room. “If you ever need a hand, let me know. I’m just a CNA—well, I was—but I worked in the infirmary at Camp Utopia with our physician’s assistant. I have some experience.”

  He nodded. “I’ll let Collier know, and maybe I can steal you away from supply runs and such. Last I heard that’s where you were going to end up.”

  “I guess word travels fast around here, because Avi just confirmed it for me a little while ago.”

  He shook his head. “Nah, Collier discussed it before you arrived. I guess he asked Ben what your current duties were at Camp Utopia and was doing his best to match them.”

  “As long as I don’t have latrine duty,” I said with a mock-shudder that wasn’t entirely faked. That was the most unpleasant job at Camp Utopia, though necessary to keep everyone healthy.

  “Did you drop by to volunteer your services then? Or were you just irresistibly drawn to me?” With his Irish accent, there was something irresistible about him, and the question itself, while meant to be humorous, held more than an element of truth despite the fact I hadn’t known he was in charge of the infirmary.

  With a regretful smile, I shrugged. “I didn’t know you were here, but I came by to get some medication.” It felt a little awkward to discuss it with him, and at first I wasn’t certain why. As he shifted position, my gaze darted below his waist. It was a little unsettling to discuss birth control with him, because I was fairly certain he’d end up being at least one of the reasons why I needed it. Assuming he was amenable to the idea, and I got the feeling he certainly was.

  “What do you need? Are you feeling sick?”

  I shook my head. “I figured I’d better get some birth-control pills. I don’t rely on condoms. That’s how my friend Sofia ended up pregnant.”

  “They had expired?” As he speculated, it was clear his mind had darted elsewhere, and his gaze moved to my lips.

  I licked them obligingly as I nodded, unable to resist the urge to do so. He swallowed audibly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he did so.

  “We have some pills in stock, and they’re good for at least six months. They’re probably okay for another year or two beyond that, but there’s no guarantee past the expiration date.”

  I nodded, glad to have at least six months’ worth of protection assured. I understood there could be no guarantees. Sofia had underlined that for me with her accidental baby.

  “Follow me.” He led me out of the exam room to the end of the hallway, and we stepped into a supply room. My eyes widened as I realized how well-stocked they were. “Did you scavenge most of this?”

  He shook his head. “About ninety percent of it was already here when we moved onto the base. We have all kinds of drugs at our disposal, as long as someone knows how to use them. We even have the means to make chemotherapy drugs, if we ever find someone with the experience.”

  I was impressed, but hopeful that I would never need any of the more elaborate treatment options, like the chemo he had mentioned.

  Finn went to a shelf, scanning the items there before extracting a large box. He brought it back to me, passing it over easily. “That’s a six-month supply.”

  I nodded as I looked down at the brand. I hadn’t taken it before, but I’d had no trouble with the previous prescription I’d taken for a year or so in college, before realizing I probably wasn’t going to be engaging in a series of one-night stands like most of my friends around me. At that point, I had stopped taking them, because they seemed more bother than they were worth. Things had changed again, and I clung tightly to the box, like it was a lifeline.

  He leaned against a nearby shelf, propping his hip against it while bringing his body closer to mine. “How are you settling in?”

  I shrugged a shoulder. “It’s a little too soon to tell, but I think I’ll be fine.”

  He chuckled. “You’re definitely fine, Natalie. You’re the finest woman I’ve seen before or after HLV.”

  I flushed slightly, feeling a bit embarrassed by the compliment, though I couldn’t say why. “Does that include your Internet girl?”

  He laughed. “It most certainly does.”

  I arched a brow skeptically. “I’m not convinced you aren’t just saying that because I’m the first woman you’ve seen in who knows how long, besides Alyssa—and it’s clear as day that she has no interest in anyone besides her men.”

  He nodded. “That’s true about Alyssa, but you’re completely wrong about my perceptions. I’d see you immediately in a crowd of hundred thousand other women. There’s something special about you, Natalie.”

  “Yeah, I have a vagina.” I had meant to make it a joke, and while there was a tinge of amusement to my words, there was a lot of uncertainty underlying them as well.

  I was betraying an unconsciously held fear as it came to me—that none of the men I might potentially become involved with would’ve given me a second look in the old world. Had they done so, they certainly wouldn’t have asked me out on a date. Right? I wasn’t certain how much was insecurity from the past, and how much was just a genuine fear of appealing to these men simply because I was a woman, not because of the woman I was.

  “I won’t pretend like most of us aren’t quietly desperate for women, but it’s not for sex. Or at least not just sex,” he added as a slight blush crept up his neck. “It’s disconcerting to be surrounded by men all the time, especially when we’ve all grown up in a mixed society and are used to women. I miss so much about the female half of society, and it’s even just little things like the sound of a feminine voice breaking the monotonous baritone around me.”

  I grinned, trying to shove aside my feelings of inadequacy. “I guess it’s a good thing I’m not a baritone then.”

  He grinned. “I enjoy spending time with Alyssa, because she brings some of the missing elements back to life, but it’s not the same. I spend time with her off and on, just like most everyone on base has, but I’m not attracted to her. That disproves to me that I’d be attracted any woman in my vicinity. I’m genuinely drawn to you, Natalie, and not just because you’re a woman. I want to get to know you better.”

  “I’m probably overthinking the whole thing anyway.”

  He surprised me by shaking his head. “I disagree. It has to be unnerving for you to be surrounded by men, knowing they almost all want something from you. I won’t lie to you and say that there aren’t men here on base who only want you because you’re a woman, or because you have a vagina, as you mentioned, but I know most of the people here well, and I know there are just as many men like me as like the other kind, and I hope more. We’re the ones looking for something besides a physical connection, and we miss all the rich layers having a woman in our life brings to it.”

  My insides melted at his words, and I swayed closer. “You have a gifted tongue, Finn.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. “I’ve heard that before.”

  “Maybe you can show me sometime.” As I said the words, my lips brushed against his before I closed the distance to make our mouths meet firmly. His kiss was sweet and tender, coaxing a response from me, though there was no need for persuasion.

  At the first touch of my mouth against his, my heart raced in my ears, my palms were sweaty, and my stomach fluttered. It was the same feeling I’d had around him the previous evening, but magnified beyond measure now that we were actually touching. It was the kind of connection I’d wanted with a man all my life, but had never felt it so strongly in the past, even when I was surrounded by men who would have been open to at least a quick tumble, if not anything permanent, with the gee
k girl.

  I’m not sure if we would’ve stopped, or what would’ve happened, but a man calling Finn’s name broke us apart. He muttered something under his breath, along with a curse, and I groaned as I pulled away from him.

  I followed him out of the exam room and into the main check-in area, finding two guys and a third man being held up between them with their arms around his back and waist.

  Finn immediately switched into doctor-mode, and I could see why Collier had put him in the role. He might have previously been almost a vet, but he had the demeanor of a doctor and the bedside manner of the best caregivers as he immediately launched into an interrogation of what had happened.

  I stuck around, helping him examine and treat the three men who’d had a wall fall on them during an accident while they were constructing a barn at the perimeter of the base. The wounds were mostly superficial, though I had to help him with setting a broken leg. Despite that, there were no more opportunities for quiet moments together, or to sneak in a kiss. By the time we treated those patients, it was lunchtime. After that, I needed to seek out the martial arts class, so I parted from Finn with regret as we left the cafeteria. He went his way, and I went mine, but I was certain I’d see Finn again, and soon.

  Chapter Three

  I stopped briefly to drop off the prescription in my new quarters and take a pill before making my way to the gymnasium. I wasn’t looking forward to the classes, but I understood I had to complete them if I wanted to be part of the supply team. We had nothing like this at Camp Utopia, because no one had the experience to train that way.

  The thought was a little intimidating, and I was concerned about going against an opponent in hand-to-hand combat. It wasn’t so much the practice that concerned me but the reality of having to face the true enemy in such circumstances that left me anxious about the whole thing.