Sharing Hell (Hell Virus Book 3) Read online

  He nodded. “We had been close before, but we got very close when we were the last people left that we knew in the area. She was two months pregnant with my child when she died.”

  A wave of sympathy shot through me as I realized just how much he had lost. “I’m truly sorry.”

  He didn’t speak for a moment, and when he did, his expression cleared. He was clearly making an effort not to think about, or perhaps just not talk about, his past and Erin. “After that, I was a little lost, as you can imagine. I was unable to go home. I didn’t think there’d be anything waiting for me in Los Angeles. All I had there were a few friends and mostly shallow relationships. I was certain my family in Pennsylvania was gone too, because they had all been sick the last time I’d been able to reach them before the cell networks went down. So I just stayed in Wyoming by myself for a while. I’d probably still be there if I hadn’t run into the group I traveled with. They brought me along, and when we found Collier and his group, we settled in.”

  “How is it here?”

  He hesitated for a moment, but seemed to be gathering his thoughts, not censoring them. “It’s pretty good. It’s not like the old world, not by any stretch of imagination, but compared to being alone in Wyoming, or on the road here, it’s pretty damn good. We have running water, electricity, and an equitable distribution of labor. It’s not where I ever imagined ending up, but I think it’s about the best any of us can do with the way the world is now.”

  “And Collier? Is he a fair leader?”

  This time, there was no hesitation. “Absolutely. He’s a good man, and he doesn’t give orders just for the sake of giving them, or go on a power trip. I don’t know what his history is, but whatever it is, he has his shit together, and he’s held the rest of ours together along with him. I think you’ll like it here, Natalie.”

  I gave him a slightly shy smile. “I found at least one reason to like it here.”

  He grinned at me, but a moment later, his expression changed. “It’s about dinnertime, if you want to go grab some? I’ll show you where the cafeteria is, and I’ll try not to lose track of you.”

  I frowned at him as I pushed aside the suitcase that was empty. I’d been standing in front of it for the last five minutes just talking to him without realizing there was nothing else to reach in, grab, and shove in a drawer. “Is it that hard to find?”

  He grinned. “No, but I expect there’ll be a run on your table tonight.”

  “Because I’m new?”

  Chris laughed heartily then. “New, and a woman. Some of us haven’t seen one, besides Alyssa, in a long time. You’re likely to be popular.” For a moment, his expression clouded. “Collier’s already put out the word that you’re to be kept safe and treated with respect, but it’s probably not a bad idea to watch your back. I don’t know of anyone that’s untrustworthy, but I don’t know everyone who lives here, and some people are probably pretty desperate for…feminine companionship. It’s probably better if you don’t go alone anywhere, at least for the first few days.”

  I frowned. “I’m not going to live like that. I didn’t have to at Camp Utopia, and I won’t here. We dealt with the rapist piece of crap at our facility, and I won’t hesitate to do the same if anyone attacks me.”

  His eyes widened, but he nodded and didn’t argue further. “If you’re ready then, I’ll show you the cafeteria?”

  I nodded, ensuring I’d slipped my electronic keycard in the pocket of my shorts before following him from my room. I had to wave the keycard to open the door, then close it again from the outside. That was going to be annoying, I thought to myself, as I slid it back into my pocket yet again.

  The corridor was even longer than I expected, and I wondered how big the underground portion of the base was. We turned the corner, finding another shorter corridor that culminated with a large room at the end.

  We stepped inside, and I could see why they called it a cafeteria instead of something more military-like, such as a mess hall. Instead of tables and benches, as we had at Camp Utopia, or the folding tables I would have expected perhaps in barracks, these had individual wood tables and matching dining chairs, arranged for groups from anywhere from two all the way up to a large table that seemed to seat twenty.

  There was a brief moment of silence when I stepped into the room, following behind Chris. I had to summon all of my newly born courage forged over the last eighteen months not to duck behind him and avoid all eyes on me. Instead, I managed a small smile and tried not to appear self-conscious as I turned away from them and followed Chris down the line, getting my tray filled with food that looked filling, if not completely appetizing. I wondered if I was going to miss Joel and Betsy’s cooking.

  Chris hesitated, waiting for me to get my tray, and then seemed to be waiting for me to pick a table. There were a couple of tables with only two seats still available, and my natural inclination was to gravitate toward one of those. Instead, I forced myself to take one of the midsize tables that could accommodate eight people, knowing I needed to be open to the idea of meeting others. I couldn’t just hide behind Chris, or cling to him, especially since he was the first person I’d met, aside from Collier. There hadn’t been time for formal introductions with others earlier in the day, when we’d attacked Fort Glacier.

  He took the seat beside me, and as he predicted, the rest of the table filled up within two minutes. I saw people moving from other tables to join us, and there was a mad scramble at the food line as people—men—grabbed what they could on their tray and ran for the table. Grumbling accompanied the scramble as several people didn’t get the chair for which they had vied.

  I wasn’t certain whether to be flattered or flabbergasted by the whole routine. It was certainly overwhelming for a girl who was unused to being the center of any kind of male attention.

  When the craziness seemed to settle down, those around the table introduced themselves to me. I caught several names, but the only one that really stuck with me besides Chris’s was Finn McHugh. I wasn’t certain if it was because of his adorable Irish accent, sweptback blond hair, sexy scruff, or sparkling blue eyes. Just something about him caught my attention, though I tried not to focus exclusively on him.

  I made a point of asking everyone how they had come to be there and got several varied answers. Chris didn’t bother to answer again, since he’d already told me his story, but it was Finn who I really focused on.

  “I met a girl on the Internet,” said Finn.

  His brogue was a bit thick, but I was able to understand most of what he said. He actually spoke a lot like one of the stroke patients I had taken care of as a CNA in my previous life, though she hadn’t been Irish. She’d simply had a speech impediment caused by her stroke that had made my ear more attuned to picking out the words, since she pronounced some of them similarly to Finn.

  “It didn’t work out?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “No, it didn’t. I came here from Cork, and it wasn’t two weeks after I arrived that she dumped me for another guy. I was here on a student visa, so I decided to go ahead and finish my term at the University of Montana. I was in the veterinary sciences program. That term came and went, and I decided to stick around for another. It made sense to finish out the school year at least, and then HLV struck. I’ve been stranded here since, and I have no idea what happened to my folks, or my brothers. I imagine they fell sick and died.” He spoke with calm pragmatism, though there was a flash of pain in his blue eyes.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “What about you?” asked one of the guys farther down the table. I was trying to remember his name, and it finally came to me.

  “I was born in Helena, Terrence. I had just finished my bachelor’s degree a few months before, and I was still working as a CNA while studying for the LSATs when the HLV virus struck. Everyone I knew and cared about was dead soon after, especially the people in the nursing home where I had worked.

  “We lost a lot of them in the first days after the p
ower grid failed and the generators went down. By that time, there were only a few remaining. And some coworkers, of course. We had all sort of unofficially moved into the nursing home to take care of the people who needed it. Most of the staff had gone to take care of their own parents or other family, so those of us who were left were basically the ones who had no one else. After my last patient died, and my last coworker fled, I left the nursing home and found my way to the FEMA camp. I settled in there, and that became home.”

  “But you have a new home now,” said the one across the table from Terrence. He was a big black guy, and the way he eyed me was unnerving. It was like I was a piece of steak to him. I couldn’t remember his name at all, so I just shrugged.

  Dinner was over shortly thereafter, though it took a while to extricate myself from the group. I was unsurprised, but a little nonplussed, to find myself in possession of an entourage as I returned to my room. This time, I didn’t invite anyone in, though I would have liked to continue my conversation with Chris, and perhaps get better acquainted with Finn. There were others in the crowd that I didn’t want in my room though, including Terrence and his friend. Something about both of them gave me the creeps, so I told them all a firm good night and closed the door in their faces.

  After ensuring my door was locked, though I didn’t think it could be opened without the keycard, I stripped off the clothes I’d been wearing all day and found the bathroom. For military quarters, it was just as nice as the outside room. There was a walk-in shower big enough for two, a standard commode, and a large sink.

  I almost moaned with pleasure when I stepped into the large shower and turned on steaming hot water. I’d made do with solar showers for more than a year while living at Camp Utopia. They were fine in summer, but not so great in winter, when the sun barely broke through the horizon and wasn’t strong enough to heat up solar bags on most days.

  I forced myself to cut short the shower, though I could have stayed in there all night if I wasn’t so tired and more aware of water and resources than I’d ever been in my old life. It could be they were unlimited, but could also be something that had to be carefully rationed. Until I found out for sure, I forced myself to lean toward the assumption that everything was rationed and ended the hot shower with a regretful sigh.

  The towels were not as nice as I’d hoped, being on the rough side. Still, there were no holes, and they were absorbent, so it was good enough.

  It wasn’t long after that that I was in bed. It was a bit early, but I’d gotten into the routine of falling asleep when the sun went down and waking when the sun rose. That was the natural cycle at Camp Utopia, but we didn’t live underground there, and a lot of our power was rationed for more important things than having the light on at night while we read or something.

  Here, I hoped I’d have a little more leeway with that, but it was something I’d have to ask someone. Tomorrow would be soon enough to find the answers, and I let myself drift off to sleep with hardly any thought in my brain. There were many nights when I laid awake long past when I had gone to bed, unable to quiet the thoughts in my mind, but I was grateful tonight wasn’t one of those.

  Chapter Two

  I woke early the next morning, still on Camp Utopia time, which left me with an hour to fill before they started serving breakfast. There was a small bookshelf in the corner, and it was loaded with classics. I’d read a few in school, but none of them had appealed to me. I was more likely to read a steamy romance novel than “Moby Dick.” From the limited selection, I opted for “Jane Eyre” and quickly discovered that while it was a different type of romance than I was used to reading, it was no less amazing in its own way.

  I was so deeply immersed in my book that I forgot to watch the time to see when breakfast would be served. I jumped and let out a small squeal of surprise when there was a knock at my door. I used the dustjacket to mark my spot and set aside the book before getting up to cross the room. I opened the door with my keycard to find an unfamiliar face on the other side. Since it was a woman standing there, I assumed she had to be the Alyssa Chris had mentioned yesterday. I gave her a small smile as I stood awkwardly in the doorway.

  She grinned at me, and she was absolutely gorgeous. She was also really short, with long dark hair that fell to her waist. Her expression was friendly, and she held out a hand as she said, “Good morning. Collier asked me to stop by and make your acquaintance this morning. I’m Alyssa Nolan.”

  I took the offered hand and shook it as I said, “I’m Natalie Henner.”

  “Why don’t we grab some breakfast, and I’ll tell you a bit about the base here?”

  I nodded my assent and stepped up behind her, waving the keycard to lock my door before moving down the hall directly behind her. As we neared the bend in the hallway, I saw three men waiting, and their gazes were all focused on Alyssa. Just from the heat arcing between the four of them, I was certain these were the men Alyssa was involved with, and I couldn’t fault her taste. They were all attractive, with honed bodies and a general air of toughness. They were attractive, though I wasn’t attracted to any of them—thank goodness, because who needed that complication? I was certain it wouldn’t have mattered if I had been. They had eyes only for their partner.

  She stepped easily into the group of them before turning to face me again as we stood in the corridor for a moment.

  “This is Shane, Jamar, and Han.”

  I grinned at them, but didn’t offer my hand to shake. They were too busy all holding onto some part of Alyssa to be bothered with the nicety. The funny thing was, they seemed unaware that they had all gravitated toward her, each holding onto some part of her body, as though drawn to her like a magnet.

  A sharp dart of envy shot through me as I thought of how it must feel to be in Alyssa’s position. It must be amazing to be the center of attention, to be the focus of not one, but three men’s worlds. It made me ache for something similar on a visceral level, and some of my lingering anxiety about the idea of engaging in a polyamorous relationship faded.

  I followed the four of them into the cafeteria, where we took a table meant for six. It was early enough in the morning, I guess, that there wasn’t a run on every chair, so the sixth one at the table remained empty as we ate.

  They told me about the base, and while I listened, what I really saw was the closeness between the four of them. When Han mentioned something about Wyoming, it piqued my curiosity. “How did you end up in Montana if you were in Wyoming?”

  Shane was the one who answered my question. “Montana had always been our goal, since we’d heard there were a lot of preppers living here. We stayed at a secret base in Wyoming for the winter, but it wasn’t ideal for long-term survival.”

  “I really didn’t want to leave,” added Alyssa. “I was comfortable there, and it felt safe, but we couldn’t grow crops, and it was certainly no place to raise a family.”

  My gaze dropped to her stomach, but it was flat as a board. “You have children?”

  “Not yet, but maybe someday. When we’re sure it’s safe,” said Jamar.

  “It’s a scary prospect these days,” said Alyssa.

  I nodded, remembering my friend Maisie, back at Camp Utopia. She had gone into labor early, necessitating a scavenging trip to the Children’s Hospital in Helena to forage for the necessary supplies to keep baby Lila alive. Lila was still in the infirmary, but our doctor—well physician’s assistant—at Camp Utopia was confident she’d be able to discharge Lila into her mother’s care full-time within the next few weeks. It was definitely scary, and I wasn’t eager to follow in Maisie’s footsteps. Sofia was expecting a baby, and the idea terrified me on her behalf.

  “So we hit the road and found our way here,” said Han, picking up the explanation of how they had arrived in Montana.

  “We ran into Collier’s group early on, and he welcomed us into the fold.” Jamar nodded. “It was a good decision to join them.”

  I frowned. “But if your last base wasn’t a
good place to raise a family, or see to long-term survival, how is this different?”

  “Mainly, it has to do with the aboveground setup. The armory above the bunker has plenty of room for crops and cattle or other domesticated animals,” said Shane. “There’s even room to set up housing aboveground, if you prefer. For now, we’re down in the VIP section, but we’ve discussed building a house on the first level.”

  “I miss the sunshine when I first wake up and looking at the stars at night,” said Alyssa.

  I nodded, but was secretly pleased to stay down below, where it felt safer. After living for the last year-plus in a canvas tent, it was a nice change to have four solid walls and a feeling of true security again.

  As we finished our breakfast, the three men spent a moment whispering to Alyssa and parting, each going in a different direction. I quirked a brow. “Where are they off to?”

  “Various duties. Which reminds me, Collier asked me to take you to Avi.”

  I fell into step beside her. “What’s Avi?”

  “Who,” she corrected with a grin. “Avi’s our head of security, I guess you could say. He coordinates all the supply runs, and he evaluates your suitability for various defense tasks. If you prefer to stay on base, you could probably talk to Collier about—”

  I shook my head. “No, I don’t prefer that. I often went on runs with my group at Camp Utopia, and the idea of being stuck at base doesn’t appeal.”

  Alyssa grinned. “I feel the same way, though I had to fight a mountain of opposition to be allowed to join the teams.”

  “Your men wanted to protect you?”

  Alyssa laughed again. “Actually, it was the men here who wanted to protect me. My men knew me well enough to know I wouldn’t be happy sitting on the sidelines and letting them keep me safe. It took a little while to get through the heads of the others, especially Collier, that I needed to feel useful. He has this tendency to regard women as a precious resource, I guess you could say. He wanted to protect me from everything, including myself, but I persisted, and he changed his mind.”