Zhànshì: A Dark Retelling Read online

  Zhàn stands in line, focused and ready for the fight. After seeing his actions in the torture room last night, I know he’s definitely a match for me, and my dick agrees even though it’s in a way I’m not sure I want to consider.

  Knowing we are out of earshot of the Jīn, I reiterate our plan to strike a blow to the very heart of them.

  “The men on this side.” I point to a group of the assembled men. “You’ll attack from the left, and the men on the other side will take the right. The remainder will approach from the front with me. We want to take prisoners. These Jīn Long recruits are new, and we need to rescue them from the situation they’ve found themselves in. They can provide us with useful information, and in return we can save them and their families from Wang’s tyranny.“

  All the men bow before me, heads low, signifying they understand my orders.

  The sound of a man sliding down the hill has me turning my head. Kuo lands on his feet beside me.

  “He’s here, sir, and he’s brought more soldiers with him.”

  I nod and turn to the men again.

  “For the honor of the Yi Shu, and our peaceful way of life.”

  I pull my batons from where they are strapped to my back, and we launch our attack. All of us racing forward into position. Zhàn stays at my side, his sword drawn, his face masking all emotions, but his eyes betray a torrent of them.

  “Yi Shu,” I yell out loud, and we run toward the Jīn.

  Our enemy were not expecting us to come from behind them. They thought we were in the warehouse they’ve been preparing to attack. We’ve successfully ambushed them, and the terror of it shows as they struggle to form a battle line. My men do just as they’ve been told and begin to take prisoners. A few of our men fall. Sadly, I wasn’t wrong when I told them the Jīn would fight to the death over fear of what will befall their families if they don’t.

  I’m in the center of the fight with a small group of soldiers around me. They veer off, one by one, to engage in combat with the men who rushed to protect our main target, the Jīn Long general. I make short work of the soldiers who get in my way. I fight with batons because even though they can kill if necessary, they are also perfect for knocking a man unconscious. It renders them unable to fight while allowing me the opportunity to reach my prey. The general will get no mercy from me. He’s killed too many of our people and his own, and he reaps the benefits for his loyalty to Wang. His family will not be saved either, because they too support Wang’s views on what the future should be like. Views that would see the Yi Shu wiped out.

  I place my batons back into the holder on my back, and pulling out my sword, I jump forward into an elaborate attacking stance and engage in deadly combat with the man I’ve been desperate to get my hands on for a long while.

  The battle is hard. He’s a skilled fighter, but so am I. I’ve been training for this moment. No, I’ve been training for the moment when I kill Wang, but his general will do for now. Focusing solely on the fight at hand, I block out the other skirmishes going on around me. My team is well-trained and can look after themselves. A flash of concern for Zhàn goes through me, but I temper it down with the knowledge he’s one of the best fighters in the company.

  Pushing harder and harder, I back Wang’s general into a small courtyard at the center of the training complex he and his men had been preparing to attack. This is a smaller facility than the main training base, but it still holds more than a hundred of our men. Men who are now fighting alongside me, using the element of surprise to overcome these would-be attackers.

  Shen really did choose to protect his family by giving us the truth. They are now safe within our walls, sheltered and mourning their loss but happy in the knowledge they’ll have a new life away from the oppression of the Jīn. In their eyes, he died a hero saving his family. They know we killed him, but they understand our traditions and rules. They accept that he had to die. It doesn’t always make what we do any easier, though.

  The general comes for me again and again, looking for any advantage over me. Returning to his leader with evidence of my death will probably be the only thing that can save him after this fuck up. In spite of this man's loyalty, Wang will be baying for his blood. I don’t intend to lose my life or any part of my body, though. I like it just the way it is.

  “Blond demon, it’s your time to die.” The general pulls another sword from a dead man at his feet and surges forward, pushing me backward.

  I fight my hardest, trying to press back, but it’s not possible with two weapons against one.

  Fuck.

  I’m desperately trying to think of a plan when a sword soars through the air, passing between the general and I. Both our eyes go wide when it embeds in the courtyard wall nearest to us. The sword is swiftly followed by the flying body of Zhàn as he goes to retrieve his weapon, and in doing so, he pushes the general back from me, and I’m able to collect myself. Zhàn and I both step up to the general. The number of swords has evened out with two on each side, but now there are two of us against one. We fight fast, moving quickly with athletic kicks and flicks, our bodies leaping high when needed, and using the walls to bounce off in attack. I’ve always laughed at the films that depict fighting like ours, the old fashion Chinese ones, but no longer will I chuckle, because the spirit of the gods has taken over us, and we fight like demons possessed with the power of magic. The general realizes he’s losing the battle, and in desperation, he jumps back and throws his sword directly at me. I bend backward in a superhuman effort and watch as it glide inches over my body before I crash to the ground, needing a moment to gather my breath.

  Zhàn is still full of energy and presses forward against the general once more. The older man smirks at him in the same way I did when I first met Zhàn. He doubts the ability of our new warrior. I take my time getting to my feet, watching as the smile is quickly wiped off the general’s face.

  Zhàn is as swift as a wild animal after its prey. He flies through the air, bringing his sword down on the general’s hand and severing it straight through the bone. The general shouts out in shock, and Zhàn stills for a moment, his eyes focused on the general.

  “Death befalls the devil. This is my message to Wang—he is next.”

  Zhàn lifts his sword, and I watch in amazement as he slices it straight through the general’s neck, cutting his head off with one clean blow.

  Zhàn then turns to me as the body drops to the ground behind him. His eyes are dark, and my body hums with the thrill of what I’ve just witnessed. He bows to me as I stride over to within inches of his body.

  “Who are you?” I question.

  Why does this small boy have a power over me I can’t control? I don’t understand it.

  Zhàn shuts his eyes and turns his head away.

  “Later,” he replies.

  He then bends down, and picking up the general’s bloody head, he hands it to me and walks away, leaving me thoroughly confused.

  I knew the second I saw the look in Jaxon’s eyes after I killed the Jīn Long general I couldn’t lie to him any longer about who I am. Something is happening between us. I feel it every time he’s near me. My body is on fire for him, and I can’t allow him to think I’m a boy any longer. I can see him struggling with his feelings toward me, and it’s not fair to him.

  We return the general’s head to Gaozu and the body to Wang before I send Jaxon a note asking him to meet me near my home. I’ve been waiting for him for about ten minutes now and fear he won’t show when he emerges from the shadows. In spite of his tuft of blond hair, he’s still able to merge into the darkness.

  “Zhàn, what are we doing here?”

  “I need to show you something.” I start to walk off, but Jaxon grabs my arm and pulls me back toward him.

  “Is this something to do with whatever spell you’re weaving over me?”

  I nod.

  “Okay.” He lets go of me and follows me as I sneak through the streets.

  When we reach my home,
I seek out the window to the basement, and kneeling in front of it, I urge Jaxon to do the same. We both look inside.

  My father’s sitting in a chair in the room, a soft light illuminates both him and the sword he’s holding, which is the one I used for my training. I’ve not seen him for a few weeks, and he looks tired. I can’t help but wonder if he’s managing to get any sleeping or if he’s being kept awake, fearing for my life. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get a message to him soon, so I can ease all my families fears.

  “Is he your father?” Jaxon questions, and I nod as confirmation.

  We both watch on as my father stands and prepares to do a few movements with the sword. He can’t complete them because his leg gives way, and he tumbles to the floor. I jolt forward, wanting to help lift him up, but I know I can’t reveal I’m here. Jaxon looks between me and him, recollection on his face as he takes another look at my father.

  “I remember him. The day of the draft.”

  I get to my feet. Not wanting to have to witness my father falling again, I start walking away from the building. Jaxon follows, and catching up with me in a few strides, he grabs my arm again. Pulling me around to face him.

  “I remember him. He came forward to present himself because he only had two daughters. Zhàn, tell me what’s going on? Who are you? Is this man even Lin Zhànshì?”

  I’ve gotten use to not wearing the mask of Lia now. I’ve exchanged it for the image of Zhàn. I know admitting to my subterfuge could lead to my death, but I can’t lie to Jaxon any longer. My heart beats rapidly, and I know it’s not because of fear, it’s because he’s near me. He’s holding my arm, his skin touching mine, and his warmth seeping into my pores. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to stay hidden, not find a man who makes my very being hum with excitement, knowing he’s just like me.

  “He is Lin Zhànshì, and he is my father, but I’m not his son.”

  I reach up to where my now shoulder-length hair is pulled up into a bun and covered by a scarf on the top of my head. I remove the scarf and pull my hair free, allowing it to fall to my shoulders. “I’m his daughter. Lia.”

  Jaxon takes a step back from me. He searches my face and my body. I watch as his eyes darken in the moonlight of the late hour. Before I have a chance to question if this will be the moment of my death, he surges forward and presses his lips to mine. He crushes them in a bruising kiss, and I let him. I melt into his arms as they wrap around me and pull me to him. I lose my ability to comprehend what this man is doing to me. Eventually, he pulls back and stares down at me again. His chests heaves just as mine does.

  “Can I just say being gay is perfectly fine, but fuck, I’m glad you’re a woman. I was beginning to think something fundamental had changed within me.”

  “It’s why I couldn’t lie to you any longer. I know it will mean my death, but I couldn’t continue without revealing who I really am.”

  Jaxon steps back from me and releases a sharp breath like he’s been punched.

  “You’re a girl fighting for the Yi Shu! Did your father send you in his place?”

  I shake my head. “No, I snuck out and dressed as a boy. I can’t lose him, Jaxon. He’s already served his duty for Gaozu, and I’m the better option as a soldier for the Yi Shu. I might be a woman, but you’ve seen I’m more skilled at fighting than many men beneath you.”

  Jaxon runs his hand through his hair.

  “You’re one of the best. Fuck.” He tugs on the ends. “How can I be ecstatic you’re a woman but concerned about it at the same time? If Gaozu finds out, he will kill you.”

  “He doesn’t have to find out. We’ve already started the process of bringing down the Jīn Long. I have to remain hidden for as long as it takes to do that. Please, Jaxon. I’ve never been the sort of woman who’ll make a domesticated wife. I live for the thrill of the battlefield. It’s the only place I feel human. It’s where I was truly born to thrive.”

  Jaxon comes back, and wrapping his arms around me, he pulls me close. His warmth gives me comfort.

  “I don’t know if I can lie to Gaozu. He’s like a father to me. He saved my life and protected me.”

  “I know. Maybe I should run away and leave San Francisco. Then you wouldn’t have to lie.” My head rests against Jaxon’s chest. It feels right, so how could it be wrong?

  “No, I can’t lose you. Not when I’ve just found you. We’ll take this a day at a time. I’m the only one who suspects anything, and that’s because my dick gets hard every time I’m around you.”

  I try to suppress a laugh.

  “I’m sorry. You really must have been feeling confused.”

  “I think it must have recognized the woman beneath the disguise.”

  “It must.” I pull my head back, and Jaxon strokes down my cheek.

  “Is it hard now?”

  “What do you think?” Jaxon winks at me.

  I pull away and offer my hand for him to take. He does and follows me as I lead him through Chinatown and out into a garden my family created. Small streams run through it. Flowers from our native country grow there. It’s our place of ancestry even when we are far away.

  “This is beautiful.” Jaxon looks around. I lead him to the small, oriental style house nestled within the garden—inside there are beds for relaxing. We enter using the key I always carry, Jaxon having to duck through the doorway due to his tall height.

  “Today, I’ve experienced hatred and the horror it brings. I need to counteract the darkness. Balance it with experiences of love and passion. Please, Jaxon.”

  Jaxon smiles. “I can’t think of a better thing to do.” He scoops me up into his arms and places me on the bed. My sword still sits in its scabbard at my waist, and Jaxon removes it before discarding his weapons and taking off his t-shirt.

  I bite my lip and finally take a good look at his tattooed chest—something I’ve wanted to do since I got the first glimpse of it, the day I joined the Yi Shu. Jaxon steps forward and pulls off my t-shirt over my head. He stares down at the bandage wrapped around my breasts to flatten them to my chest. He undoes the pin holding the bandage in place, and grasping the end, he starts to unravel it, swallowing hard as he unwraps me like a Christmas present. When the bandage is removed, he looks down at my breasts. They’re small, making them easier to hide.

  He reaches out and touches one, I relax back onto the bed and allow him to explore my body, first with his hand and then his mouth. I’ve never been worshiped in this way, and I feel the fires igniting in me. My pants and underwear are removed next, and I hear Jaxon curse in delight when he sees me naked for the first time.

  “Definitely a woman.”

  “Told you.” I chuckle, and he gives me a little slap to my backside. It sends a jolt of pleasure through me, and I groan.

  “Well, it seems the darkness within you spreads over to the bedroom. I’m going to enjoy exploring that later. But for now, I assume you’re a virgin?” Jaxon steps back and removes his pants as he speaks to me.

  “Yes, I’ve always behaved in the manner expected of a dutiful daughter. I wanted to bring honor to my family. The day of the draft, I was due to be presented to society with the intention of finding a Yi Shu man to marry.”

  Jaxon removes his underwear, and I stare at his dick. I’ve seen a few of them during my time at the training compound. It’s impossible not to with so many men around, but Jaxon’s is magnificent, surrounded by a tuft of blond hair. Plus, it’s big. Maybe I should go back to honoring my family and remain a virgin for a bit longer. I bring my legs together.

  Jaxon shakes his head and laughs at me. “I have to admit taking your virginity out of wedlock is scary for me, it goes against our traditions. I’ll be ruining you in the eyes of so many, but we’ve thrown the rule book away, Lia. We might as well continue. You and I aren’t normal people. I believe we’re destined for exceptional things, and I won’t allow anyone to hurt you. This is my promise, here and now.”

  I lean forward and place my hand
on Jaxon’s heart. I can feel it beating fast underneath my palm. “I know. Since the moment I first saw you, I’ve known.”

  Jaxon pushes himself up my body, parting my legs as he goes. I welcome him, all fear gone as he resumes his exploration—kisses, licks and nibbles, tasting every inch of my body while my hands begin to investigate his sensitive flesh. I kiss where I can reach, devouring his salty but musky taste. It’s pure man. When Jaxon dips his head between my legs and runs the length of my slit with his tongue, I arch off the bed, my body needing more from him, needing his touch everywhere.

  He dips one and then two fingers inside me, pumping them and slicing them, preparing me to take his cock. I’m glad he’s being considerate, but it builds a pressure within me I’ve never experienced before. It’s intense. He flicks his tongue over my clit, and I ignite in a powerful orgasm at his expertise, my first. I can’t stop it. I ride it as wave after wave of pleasure hits me with ecstasy.

  When I come down, Jaxon shifts on the bed and positions himself at the entrance to my sex. I nod my head, and he surges into me in a controlled thrust. It burns—it hurts, but it’s bliss all at the same time. It’s the greatest feeling in the world, even better than my first kill earlier in the day. Maybe when the war is over, Jaxon and I can spend all day doing this instead. It will satisfy my constant need for something powerful and dark.

  Jaxon settles inside me for a moment before pulling back. His lips meet mine, our eyes remaining open as we kiss passionately. We both needed this—the satisfaction of a kill followed by the passion of a forbidden romance. If Gaozu knew what was happening, we’d both be destroyed, but in this small house, we can be who we choose to be.

  Another powerful orgasm burns its path from my core through my body. I shudder and scream Jaxon’s name as he buries himself deep inside me and washes my insides with his essence. I welcome every last drop—it marks me as his.

  After what seems like a lifetime, he removes himself from me, and I wince at the slight sting.

  “Are you all right?” Jaxon instantly asks.