Toujours Tingo Read online

  patiji

  by her aunts and uncles

  sas

  by her daughter-in-law

  nand

  by her brother’s wife

  sali

  by the husband of her sister

  Prodigal son

  In Fiji, they observe the custom of vasu which gives a son certain powers over his mother’s native place. He may take anything he covets from the houses, tear down the fruit trees, and generally behave in such a way that if he were a stranger he would be clubbed to death.

  Family tree

  Of course, however much you try to escape the familial bond, there’s really no getting away from who you are and where you’re from:

  asal pagasal (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to trace family relationships among people newly acquainted with each other

  anestolt (Norwegian) proud of one’s ancestors

  progonoplexia (Greek) bragging about one’s ancestors

  kupu (Hawaiian) one whose ancestors were born where he himself was born

  kacang lupakan kulit (Malay) a man who refuses to acknowledge his background and forgets his family or friends once he has made a fortune for himself

  IDIOMS OF THE WORLD

  Between the devil and the deep blue sea

  telan mati emak, luah matl bapa (Malay) if you swallow it your mother will die, if you throw it up your father will die

  estar entre a espada e a parede (Portuguese) to be between the sword and the wall

  tussen twee vuren staan (Dutch) to be between two fires

  byt mezhdu molotom i nakovalnyei (Russian) between hammer and anvil

  wählen zwischen Hölle und Fegefeuer (German) to choose between hell and purgatory

  se correr o bicho pega e se ficar o bicho (Portuguese) if you run, the animal will catch you, if you stay it will eat you

  eddyr daa stoyl ta toyn er laare (Manx, Isle of Man) between two stools your arse is on the floor

  8.

  Kids

  ogni scarafone è bello a mamma sua (Italian)

  every mother likes her own beetle

  Pragmatic future

  When it comes to the prospect of having children, the Japanese have brought the vocabulary firmly into the twenty-first century:

  kondoumukeikaku the way in which some women over thirty-five have unprotected sex with strangers to have children

  nakayoshi ninpu (buddy pregnancy) describes the act of two women deliberately getting pregnant at the same time so that they can experience childbirth together (literally, pregnancy-now plan)

  shoshika a future society without children

  Warped

  From the moment a woman conceives, a new life has begun – for the one in the womb, obviously, but also for the mother. French metaphors take particular notice of her difference in appearance: she has tombée sur un clou rouillé, fallen on a rusty nail, and thus swollen; or, to put it another way, she has begun gondoler sur la devanture, to warp from the display window:

  ubháya-siras (Sanskrit) two-headed, a pregnant female

  ajamonarse (Spanish) used to describe a pregnant woman’s increase in size (literally, to be like a ham)

  proglotit’ arbouz (Russian) to become pregnant (literally, to swallow a watermelon)

  Longings

  She starts to feel differently too:

  dohada (Sanskrit) the longing of a pregnant woman for particular objects

  afa-dratsiaina (Malagasy, Madagascar) the condition of a pregnant woman who has eaten what she had a great longing for

  A mark of frustration

  When a Maltese pregnant woman has a wish, one should try to satisfy her, or else the baby will be born with a large mole on its face; this is known as it-tebgha tax-xewqa, the wish mark.

  Paternity leave

  In some African tribes the men will take to their beds for the entire duration of their wife’s pregnancy, while the women continue to work as usual until a few hours before giving birth. This is called couvade (from the French word meaning, literally, brooding or hatching). The men believe that they are cleverer and stronger than women and so are better able to defend unborn children against evil spirits. Prone in his bed, the husband simulates the pains that the wife actually undergoes. Following the birth of the child, he keeps to his bed and receives all the attentions which in other societies are bestowed upon the mother. Variations of this behaviour have been seen in such diverse places as Papua New Guinea, Bolivia and the Basque districts of Northern Spain and South-West France.

  Those who comes divided

  The Fon people of Benin are particularly enthusiastic about twins. All twins are regarded as separate parts of a single being so their birth signals the arrival of mabassa, those who comes divided. They also believe that some babies may refuse to be born. Just before birth, the elder of a set of twins is said to peek out of the womb to survey the outside world. If it determines that the world is unsafe, it returns to the womb to report to its sibling. The twins may then refuse their delivery. If one twin dies, a small wooden image of the deceased must be carried by the mother and cared for at all times. All gifts to the survivor must be duplicated: one for the living twin and one for the dead.

  kœmœ (Chewa, South East Africa) the firstborn twin

  embangurane (Kiga Nkore, Niger-Congo) twins of different sex

  Breast water

  Caring for a helpless baby has inspired some charming words around the world:

  komvya (Mambwe, Zambia) to feed a child with one’s finger

  namaonga (Gilbertese, Oceania) to taste a little portion and chew it for a baby

  ukkun (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) an expression of fondness used to infants when breastfeeding

  anoka (Malagasy, Madagascar) the perfect contentment in sucking or drinking (used primarily of children or the young of animals at the breast)

  ngibá (Tagalog, Philippines) a baby’s tendency to cry when held by a stranger

  We will rock you

  In Southern Africa they certainly have ways and means of keeping a baby quiet:

  kolopeka (Mambwe, Zambia) to appease a child, stop him from crying by amusing him

  vundzata (Tsonga, South Africa) to turn a child’s head sideways when on its mother’s back or when put to sleep

  pakatika (Mambwe, Zambia) to place one’s own child on the lap of a companion

  khan’wetela (Tsonga, South Africa) to rock a child to sleep on one’s back by nudging with the elbows

  halalata (Tsonga, South Africa) to throw a baby up into the air, at a ceremony of the first new moon after its birth

  wo-mba (Bakweri, Cameroon) the smiling in sleep by children

  Babygrow

  All too soon the little creature wants to go its own way:

  abula (Setswana, Botswana) the attempt of a baby to move when lying on its belly

  toto-toto (Setswana, Botswana) a term of endearment to encourage a baby to stand or walk

  a’matiti (Rotuman, South Pacific) to accustom a baby to cooler temperatures by taking it on a walk in the early morning

  dede (Swahili) to stand uncertainly, as a child just beginning to walk stands when not held

  sparkedragt (Danish) a pair of rompers (literally, kicking suit)

  kopisata (Yamana, Chile) to get thin, like a fat baby when it gets older

  Draggling

  Despite its best intentions, it’s still a long way from being independent:

  ma-ma (Car, Nicobar Islands) ‘father’, ‘daddy’, the child’s cry for its father

  po-po (Car, Nicobar Islands) ‘mother’, ‘mummy’, the child’s cry for its mother

  upuss-eata (Yamana, Chile) to draggle after one, as a child, a long line or anything tied to a string

  pobi (Buli, Ghana) to wrap or to tie a child on one’s back

  n-velekula (Kerewe, Tanzania) to swing a child round from the back to hip, preparatory to putting it down or feeding it

  A desk job

  In Malta, the baby’s first year is regarded as dangero
us, so the first birthday – Il-Quccija – is a happy event. On this day the child’s future is suggested when a tray of small objects is carried in and placed on the floor. The baby is then put down and allowed to crawl in any direction it wants. What it picks up from the tray signifies its future. The traditional objects include an egg (bajda) for an abundance of happiness, a pen (pinna) for a desk job, some coins (muniti) for wealth, a ball (ballun) for sport, rosary beads (kuruna) for the church, scissors (mqass) for tailoring, a book (ktieb) for a lawyer, a hammer (martell) for a carpenter, and these days other items such as a stethoscope (for a doctor) or a CD (for a disc jockey).

  Mother love

  As the Nigerian saying goes, nwanyi umu iri o dighi ihe mere nabali o naghi ama, when a woman has ten children there is nothing that happens in the night that she does not know about:

  wahdećapi (Dakota, USA) the sympathy that is said to exist between a mother and her absent children, producing peculiar sensations in the breast

  songkom (Malay) to bury the face in a mother’s lap (as a child)

  xilandzalandza (Tsonga, South Africa) a child constantly staying close to its mother

  Cuckoo

  With all this vulnerability at stake, one can only pray for decent parents…

  kukushka (Russian) a mother who gives up her child to be raised by others (literally, a cuckoo)

  kaelling (Danish) a woman who stands on the steps of her house yelling obscenities at her kids

  Kinderfeindlichkeit (German) an intense dislike or disregard of children

  False friends

  taxi (Greek) classroom

  Gymnasium (German) grammar school, high school

  son (Vietnamese) to be still childless

  Daughter in a box

  … but not to the point where they overdo it:

  onba-higasa (Japanese) a wealthy family’s pampered child (literally, wet nurse and parasol)

  curlingforeldre (Danish) parents who do anything to sweep the road of life ahead of their children to ensure that it is free of obstacles (literally, curling parents)

  hakoiri-musume (Japanese) a young woman who has always been protected from the harsh realities of life by doting parents (literally, daughter in a box)

  ser flor de estufa (Spanish) overprotected, not allowed to become independent (literally, to be a hothouse flower)

  Impossible child

  ‘The child who is one night old,’ say the Arabs, ‘has already learned to annoy its parents.’ It doesn’t stop there:

  lundaezi (Lozi, Niger-Congo) to walk in the manner of a disrespectful angry child

  riu’ (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) rushing about and getting in the way (especially of children)

  upuk’anaana (Yamana, Chile) to throw away anything cooked, as a naughty child might throw away a fish its mother gave it to eat

  bunget (Manobo, Philippines) as a child, to want something one can’t have, get angry and then refuse it when it is finally offered

  Dolls’ house

  Distractions must be found; and the Yamana speakers of Chile have several delightfully specific words to describe the making of toys for children and how they play with them:

  tukau-iyana to put a foot or feet on a doll or a picture of one

  utellana to make or put eyes in the head of a figure one carves or draws

  tumusgaia to put down with the face upwards, as with some dolls on a table

  kaiyena-na to play quietly, as a little child with a toy

  manax-soatekana to play with someone else’s toys

  Junken a munken

  But who needs toys when kids are so delightfully inventive anyway?

  goagoana (Setswana, Botswana) to shout at each other in play

  chottu (Tamil) a slap on the head with both hands in play

  ha-lo-po (Car, Nicobar Islands) to have practical jokes played on one

  junken a munken, a sucka sucka po, wailuku wailuku, bum bum show (Hawaiian Pidgin) a kids’ way of deciding who goes first: eeny meeny miney mo

  Cheese head

  The years race by; things seem to change so fast:

  propanach (Gaelic) a well-built boy, beginning to run about

  botshegangangatswane (Setswana, Botswana) little boys when still at a stage when they are unabashed by their nakedness

  kaaskop (Dutch) a very blond, rosy-cheeked child (literally, cheese head)

  timtum (Yiddish) a beardless youth with a high-pitched voice

  My sister’s toenails look like my grandfather’s

  From ‘Around the rugged rock, the ragged rascal ran’ to ‘red leather, yellow leather’, a key part of learning a language is being able to master its tongue-twisters. They are always decidedly odd sentences. One French example featuring the s sound focuses on food:

  Combien de sous sont ces saucissons-ci? Ces saucis-sons-ci sont six sous (How much are these sausages here? These sausages here are six cents.)

  While a German tongue-twister that offers a lot of practice in the pronunciation of sch portrays a rather dangerous situation:

  Zwei schwartze schleimige Schlangen sitzen zwischen zwei spitzigen Steinen und zischen (Two black slimy snakes sit between two pointed stones and hiss.)

  Other favourites include:

  Kuku kaki kakak kakak ku kayak kuku kaM kakek kakek ku (Indonesian) My sister’s toenails look like my grandfather’s.

  Méla babka v kapse brabce, brabec babce v kapse píp. Zmáčkla babka brabce v kapse, brabec babce v kapse chcíp (Czech) Grandma had a sparrow in her pocket and the sparrow made a sound. Grandma pressed the sparrow and it died.

  Als vliegen achter vliegen vliegen, vliegen vliegen vliegensvlug (Dutch) If flies fly behind flies, flies will fly like lightning.

  Krόl Karol kupil Krόlowej Karolinie korale koloru koralowego (Polish) King Karl bought Queen Caroline a coral-coloured bead.

  Saya sebal sama situ sebab situ suka senyum-senyum sama suami saya saya sehingga sekarang suami saya suka senyum-senyum sendiri sembari sama (Indonesian) I hate you because you used to smile at my husband; now he likes to smile for no obvious reason when he is with me.

  Far, får får får? Nej, inte får får får, får får lanun (Swedish) Father, do sheep have sheep? No, sheep don’t have sheep, sheep have lambs.

  Kan-jang-kong-jang kong-jang-jang-eun kang kong-jang-jang-ee-go, dwen-jang-kong-jang kong-jang-jang-eun kong kong-jang-jang-ee-da (Korean) The president of the soy-sauce factory is president Kang and the president of the bean-paste factory is president Kong.

  Learning curve

  Soon enough it’s time to start getting to grips with the ways and means of the adult world…

  kinder-vraag (Dutch) a childish question

  ABC-Schuetze (German) a pupil in the first year of school (literally, ABC shooter)

  skolplikt (Swedish) compulsory school attendance

  managòana (Malagasy, Madagascar) to go over a list of names to see if all are there

  ageographetos (Greek) useless at geography

  katapádama (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) a lesson committed to memory

  chongak (Malay) to raise the head and the chin or to do mental arithmetic in class

  daoshu (Chinese) to count backwards

  sonkkopta (Korean) to count on one’s fingers

  mushtiya (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) a fist, a closed hand (also applied to the behaviour of a teacher who withholds some knowledge from his pupils through fear that they may surpass him)

  Target practice

  … with all the unpleasant ordeals that that entails:

  quemarse las pestanas (cejas) (Spanish) to study hard (literally, to burn one’s eyelashes (eyebrows)

  nochnoe (Russian) late-night studying, as before exams

  acordeόn (Mexican Spanish) a crib sheet used to cheat in a test or exam (literally, an accordion)

  ponchar (Cuban Spanish) to fail an exam (literally, to get a flat tyre)

  vo chuoi (Vietnamese) to fail an exam (literally, to slip on a banana skin)

  kvarsittare (S
wedish) a pupil who has not been moved up

  suberidome (Japanese) a school one applies to in case one isn’t accepted elsewhere (literally, skid stopper)

  Hanging out

  What every parent fears is slynaldem (Swedish), the awkward age, when their once innocent and biddable child starts rebelling against their authority:

  kutu embun (Malay) on the streets constantly; young people who roam the streets at night

  hangjongeren* (Dutch) groups of teenagers with nothing to do but hang around in groups, making strange grunting noises at passers-by (literally, hanging youth)

  katoro buaka (Gilbertese, Oceania) neglectful of one’s parents or grandparents

  Filial

  The good parent can only hope that all their love and hard work is reciprocated:

  matteyyatā (Pali, India) filial love towards one’s mother

  tindi (Tsonga, South Africa) to express joy at seeing one’s parents (of children)

  chengqi (Chinese) to grow up to be a useful person

  IDIOMS OF THE WORLD

  Like father like son

  kakov pop takov i prikhod (Russian) like priest like church

  æblet falder ikke langt fira stamen (Danish) the apple doesn’t fall far from the trunk