A Whisper of Life Read online

  ‘I suppose so,’ Jonny replied reluctantly, assuming the dismissal included Alan Killigrew, who had irritatingly hung on but whom he had firmly kept at a distance from Kate. ‘I’ll say goodnight then. Goodnight, Kate. I’ll see you very soon.’ He didn’t care to walk down the road with Killigrew and went on ahead, not bothered that it would be considered rude.

  ‘We’ll go on up, Kate,’ Jill said, eager to return to the business of the possible adoption. ‘Goodnight, Alan.’

  ‘Goodnight, Jill, Tom,’ Alan said, releasing his exasperation with a sigh that he was alone with Kate at last. He hadn’t been able to get near her all evening. He did so now.

  ‘Lock up in ten minutes, Kate,’ Tom said pointedly, then Jill dragged him out of the room. She didn’t mind how long it took the younger couple to say goodnight.

  ‘Kate, why did Jonny Harvey come back if he’d already been here today?’ Alan said, as if he didn’t know, trying to keep the jealousy and annoyance out of his tone. ‘You’d think he’d want to spend more time with his family. He monopolized the whole evening. His snaps were good but when you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. He’s got a wedding to go to on Friday, he should put his energies into that.’

  ‘Don’t be grumpy. Jonny likes our company at the farm.’ Kate’s mind was on Delia. Her welfare and the baby’s were her priority. Jill had said she had perked up a little. That was hopeful news.

  ‘He likes your company, more like.’

  ‘What?’ Kate emerged from her thoughts.

  ‘Jonny Harvey. He’s after you, didn’t you notice? Well, he can’t have you. You’re my girl. Aren’t you, Kate?’ Alan gently pushed a tress of her hair behind her ear. ‘We’ve got something going, haven’t we?’

  She didn’t need to be faced with this right now. ‘I’m not sure, Alan. I like you very much but…’

  There was a drag in Alan’s stomach. His hopes slipping away? How could he compare with Harvey’s expertise and sophistication? He’d fight for Kate though, even physically if need be. Kate was worth any amount of pain. ‘But you like Jonny Harvey too? I can see all the qualities that attract women to him, Kate, but he’s too old for you.’

  ‘Are you seriously saying Jonny’s after me?’ It made Kate want to laugh.

  ‘He thinks he’s in love with you. It’s written all over him. If Jill and Tom had their eyes open tonight they would have seen it too.’

  Kate shook her head. Jonny was in love with her? No. It was impossible. Of all the women he knew, had been with, she was the exact opposite. He saw her as a special friend. Very special, to have confided in her alone about Abbie Goodyear expecting his baby. If he did love her and if he had been sending out those kind of signals she had been as blind to them as Jill and Tom. She recalled his greeting today. He had been glad to see her, really glad, as a friend would be. But he had clung on to her and touched her a lot. Alan was right about him taking over the evening and lavishing her with attention. Jonny had also seemed to resent Alan’s presence. He’d been like that with Denny James too. She hadn’t stopped to think back then how strange his behaviour had been. So perhaps Jonny really did have feelings for her. She couldn’t take this in.

  ‘Do you care about him too?’ Alan said, feeling her long silence verified his dread.

  ‘No, of course not.’ She wasn’t in love with anyone. She wasn’t ready for that sort of thing. She was too set on finding her own identity to want to tie herself to someone for the rest of her life yet. She liked Jonny very much. She enjoyed being in his company. Alan’s too. She had told Delia that Alan was her young man but she had never behaved as if he was. This was all getting too much.

  Alan exhaled in relief. The thought alone of losing Kate filled him with a dark hollowness. He loved her so much, more with every minute. He longed to tell her but that would be unwise. ‘Then there’s hope for me?’ He couldn’t stop his feet from moving in closer to her.

  Kate turned her head away. ‘Look, Alan, things are complicated right now. I’ve got Delia and the baby to consider. I haven’t got time to think about what I want.’

  ‘OK,’ he said quickly, praying he hadn’t blown everything, putting the space back between them to show he wouldn’t pressure her. ‘We can go on as before?’

  ‘Yes,’ she replied at once. She didn’t want to lose anyone from her life.

  ‘Great. I’ll pop along tomorrow evening. I’ll say goodnight then.’ He bent his head to kiss her goodbye as usual.

  Kate leaned her cheek for his kiss, glad to be going off to her bed. But she was taken over by the knowledge that the instant he left she would feel appallingly empty. She didn’t want him to go. She just didn’t. She found herself stepping towards him and her arms reaching up to encircle his neck. She was following her instincts and it felt completely natural. ‘Stay a while longer.’ The words flowed from her lips.

  ‘Oh Kate.’ Alan drew her in to him, snuggling his face against her neck.

  Kate wrapped herself against his body tighter and tighter. She had been in Jonny’s embrace today but this was entirely different. Not brotherly, as she’d thought the contact with Jonny had been, and so very much more than warm and comforting. It was heady and exciting. It was wonderful and amazing. It consumed her in the most blissful way. She put her energy into drawing all she could from him while returning the same intense offering. Kisses. They just happened, on their lips and their eyes and their necks. Warm velvety sensations, new experiences she demanded more and more of.

  Alan took his mouth away from hers. ‘You’re so lovely, Kate. I’ve wanted this for so long.’ He was in raptures. Enfolding her even deeper in his arms his next kiss was a lover’s kiss. Kate yielded to it and answered it. They both revelled in it, taking every thrill and every scrap of sweetness out of it. Forgetting everything and everyone else.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  ‘It was a lovely wedding, Jonny,’ Emilia said. With Perry, they had just waved Louisa and Mark off on their honeymoon. They were in the drawing room of Louisa’s house in Kenwyn Church Road, where the reception had been held, after a civil wedding and a church blessing. All the guests except those from Ford Farm had left. ‘You must be very pleased to see Louisa happy and settled again.’

  ‘Of course,’ he replied stiffly. Handsome and elegant in his RAF dress uniform, he wished Kate had been able to attend today but she was at home caring for her sister-in-law. ‘I’ve never found it necessary to have any reservations about her and Mark.’

  ‘As I and Perry have about you and Kate, is that what you mean?’ For a short time Emilia had once been Jonny’s foster mother, she cared deeply for him and hated these bad feelings. ‘Jonny, we are right to be concerned, even more so now. We have something to tell you.’

  He stared at her, then shifted his eyes above her head. She was interfering again. ‘What?’

  ‘Please don’t be sharp, Jonny. You haven’t been to the farm for a couple of days, busy with the last arrangements for the wedding. During that time Kate and Alan have become a steady couple.’

  Jonny’s reaction was the need to swear. ‘I don’t believe you. You’ll try anything to build a barrier between Kate and me. Well it won’t work. Nothing will. You might as well give up.’

  Perry came forward. ‘It’s not a lie, Jonny. Your aunt is telling you this to save you making a fool of yourself and we’re both eager that you do nothing to upset Kate.’

  Jonny felt his guts hit the floor. He had no choice but to believe them. Just two days’ absence and Kate had stepped into a relationship with Killigrew. For heaven’s sake, why? She’d showed him no special favour that last evening. What made her suddenly fall into his arms? Perhaps it was the anxiety over her sister-in-law. Kate had needed someone and because he himself wasn’t there, she’d turned to Killigrew. That must be why.

  ‘Alan is perfect for Kate,’ Emilia went on, full of pity for Jonny. All life had gone out of him. She saw again the bewildered small boy he had been when Alec, just her employer then,
had brought him to the farm. Jonny really did love Kate. What a terrible fate for him to fall in love at last but with someone whom was unlikely to feel the same way. Kate wasn’t immune to being swept off her feet by Jonny, the same as other women had in his life, but she was a realist. She would know their worlds couldn’t mix. Jonny couldn’t settle in one place while Kate was looking for stability, to build something worth working at or fighting for in a familiar place. Emilia was anxious. ‘You won’t do anything to cause problems, will you? Say you won’t, Jonny.’

  He couldn’t look at his aunt. He couldn’t bear to see her sympathetic expression. But he had hope. Killigrew was Kate’s first boyfriend and first boyfriends didn’t usually last. She’d be more receptive to him when it was over, and no one could say she didn’t have experience in that direction. He would not give up on Kate. ‘I’d never, never do anything to hurt Kate.’

  Emilia touched his arm. ‘What will you do now, Jonny? I mean, have you got plans?’

  He had a meeting with a small local publisher next week, with the view to putting together some local scenes and historical facts. There was a ready market for a series with the holiday trade and many local people would be interested too. Now Louisa was moving into Keresyk with Mark he was thinking of buying this house from her. It would be his first home. And, he hoped, his and Kate’s home, a haven to return to, close to her friends and his family. Where he could invite Kate to, where he’d make sure they were alone, where he could ease her away from the boy Killigrew and make him seem no more than a playmate to her.

  ‘Yes, Aunt Em, I’ve got plans.’ The main one was to see Kate, to work out how things were between her and Killigrew and the right strategy to separate them. ‘I’d like to be alone now.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Jonny, about everything,’ Emilia said quietly. ‘We’ll gather Tom and Jill and go home.’

  Tom and Jill were looking at the wedding presents. Jill had been eager to leave for some time. ‘I’ll be glad to get back. Delia’s not getting any stronger. Her labour could start any minute. It’s a lot of responsibility for Kate alone.’

  ‘Tilda’s there,’ Tom pointed out.

  ‘Tilda panics too easily. She’d be no good during that sort of thing.’

  ‘I suppose you’re right, darling. We’ll be off soon anyway, try not to worry.’

  ‘But I can’t help it, Tom. If anything was to go wrong…’

  ‘It won’t. You must stay calm, darling.’ Tom had grasped at the possibility of adopting Delia’s baby as eagerly as she had. At the very least he’d thought it worth considering. It was fraught with problems, not least the fact that the father had the right to his say in the baby’s future. They were trying not to build up unrealistic hopes, but the offer had been made and as each hour passed it meant more and more to them. How could they not want this baby when Jill might not be able to conceive children of their own? Having given Delia refuge under their roof, Jill had witnessed her distress and was emotionally involved. Disappointment now would be heartbreaking for her. Tom had spoken to Delia, expressing the doubts and all the issues to her, encouraging her to think that she might love her baby, that things would be easier now she had friends on her side. Delia had remained adamant she did not want the child, and had grown frantic that she might be forced to take it with her when she left the farm. He and Jill had reassured her that they were willing to adopt the baby if that was what she still wanted and they would see she had a fresh start wherever she wanted to go. They had consulted a solicitor to act for them when, pray God, the time actually came. They had told no one of these plans. First, they wanted to wait and see what Delia’s reaction would be after the confinement. It didn’t occur to either of them that Kate might be making plans for her sister-in-law and niece or nephew. Kate was courting with Alan. Why should she have more than that on her mind once Delia was away and settled?

  ‘Perhaps we should think about Delia going into a nursing home where she would have medical staff on hand,’ Jill said. ‘There would be less danger to her and the baby then.’

  ‘That’s a good idea,’ Tom replied. ‘We’ll put it to her when we get back, but if she wants to stay put, we’ll let her. You should stay close to the house from now on, darling. If the baby is to be ours we’ve got too much at stake to take any risks.’

  ‘What are you two whispering about?’ Emilia came their way.

  ‘Nothing,’ Tom blurted out. ‘We were, um… it was a nice wedding, Mum. Have you noticed how different Jonny is today? He usually jokes at a wedding that he’ll never be caught as a groom.’

  Emilia shot a glance at Jonny across the room. He was side-on to her, staring down at his open wallet in the palm of his hand, touching it with his fused fingers. Tracing an outline. A photograph, no doubt of Kate. She groaned inwardly. Jonny wasn’t about to step out of Kate’s life. He was a fighter, a survivor. Someone, perhaps more than one person, was going to get hurt. Interfering couldn’t prevent it. All she could do was to stand back and pick up the pieces.

  * * *

  Kate had her feet up in the kitchen, knitting a bonnet for Delia’s baby. She was halfway through a full layette, but she only knitted in her room or when Jill was out, sensitive not to upset her. Jill and Delia had formed a close friendship and Jill often mentioned the baby. It was a pity Delia had to go far away to be safely rid of Sidney, otherwise Kate would have suggested Jill should be a godmother to the baby. It would have been some way towards allowing Jill some input into a child’s life.

  Tilda came bursting through from the other part of the house.

  ‘Ah, come for some tea?’ Kate said, hoping she wasn’t in an unnecessary flap.

  ‘No, ’tisn’t that,’ Tilda puffed, ruffling her apron, something she did when alarmed. ‘Your brother’s coming through the yard. There’s not one of them blessed dogs about to see him off if he’s come to cause trouble. I’ve locked Mrs Em’s doors. Do you want to lock Mr Tom’s?’

  ‘No. I’ll go out to him. Don’t worry, Tilda. He was bound to come here sometime. I’ll sort out what he wants. Can you stay here till I come back in?’

  ‘Course. But you be careful, maid. If I hear shouting or swearing I’ll ring for the constable.’

  Kate confronted Sidney on the flagstones. ‘Have you come to see Delia? She’s resting, asleep.’

  ‘I’ve come for no such thing.’ He was scowling to the inner reaches of his hard face. He had his best clothes on, bicycle clips round his trouser bottoms. There was a dark red mark above one of his eyes. ‘I’ve only come to tell you that I’m off.’

  ‘Off? What do you mean?’

  ‘What I said. I’m leaving home. And seeing as you took it upon yourself to take my wife away, I’ll have you know there’s now no home for her to return to. So you can have the pleasure of the responsibility of the bitch from now on. I’ve got no way of supporting her and the brat anyway. Things were said about Tony at the coal yard and I got into a fight. I was sacked. Weren’t bleddy fair, but that’s how it is. Father’s moving in with the Tregaskis woman, marrying her as soon as can be. So I’m making a clean break. Tell Delia not to try to find me. She can divorce me in a few years for desertion.’

  Kate could almost have laughed at his gloating face. He thought he was burdening her and that Delia would be upset about being abandoned, but it was what they both wanted. Best of all, Delia didn’t need to go away. She could live in a little place in Hennaford and look forward to a peaceful life, with care and support close by. ‘I see,’ she said grimly, disguising her pleasure. ‘There’s nothing more to be said then.’

  Sidney eyed her coldly, then as if hating to say so, ‘Never thought you’d have turned out to be so pretty. You’ve done well for yourself.’

  ‘Are you jealous?’ It was her turn to be smug.

  He muttered something under his breath but she heard the foul swear words in it. ‘Got any money you can let me have? I’m owed wages but I’m not likely to ever get it.’

  ‘Only a pound or t
wo.’

  ‘That’ll do. See me on my way a little.’

  ‘Wait there.’ She went back inside and ran upstairs to fetch her purse.

  ‘Kate!’ Delia called from her room. ‘I thought I heard Sidney’s voice. Is he here?’

  ‘No, it’s the baker. You just rest, Delia.’

  She hadn’t reached the stairs before Tilda shouted, ‘Kate! Kate! Come quick!’ Damn it. Sidney had come inside the house. She hurried down to the kitchen. ‘I told you to wait outside.’

  Tilda had retreated to the far reaches of the room. Sidney’s eyes were searching shelves and the mantelshelf. ‘These fancy friends of yours must have some money lying about, Kate. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind sparing me some as a favour to you.’

  ‘There’s no one else here!’ Tilda shrieked.

  Kate’s heart fell. That was a stupid thing for Tilda to reveal.

  ‘Aha.’ Sidney’s eyes gleamed with greed. ‘I thought it was quiet. Come on, Kate. Surely someone’s got a few notes stashed away in an old teapot or something. What about you?’ Sidney snarled at Tilda, obviously enjoying her fright.

  Tilda gulped and a plump hand flew to her bosom. Kate was afraid she might faint or become hysterical, then Tilda glanced at her and seemed to gain control. ‘Yes! I keep some savings in my room. Nearly forty pounds for my old age, but you can have that if you promise never to darken these doors again.’

  ‘That’s better.’ Sidney moved his bulky shoulders in a swanky manner. ‘Go and get it. I’ll stay here and see what Kate can do for me.’

  Tilda glanced at Kate again. Kate knew she would scurry to Mrs Em’s den and phone for help in case Sidney didn’t leave quietly. She had no idea if Tilda had any cash in the house or whether she would hand any over to Sidney. If Sidney got really stroppy she would tell him he could have their grandmother’s savings and hope that would see the back of him. She tossed her purse to Sidney and he caught it in a deft hand. She said, ‘Jill keeps a little money in an old tin for emergencies. You can take that.’ Going slowly to the dresser – Tilda needed time – she leaned down to the cupboard and drew out a flat toffee tin.