A Whisper of Life Read online

  Kate was finding it hard not to cry herself as she rocked Delia like an infant. ‘Don’t worry, don’t worry. I’m here. I won’t leave you, I promise.’ She glanced at Jill. ‘It’s all too much for her. I can’t leave her.’

  ‘I don’t want you to stay on here, Kate,’ Jill said, afraid Kate would never get away from this wretched place again.

  ‘Is there somewhere Mrs Viant could go?’ Alan said, sharing Jill’s concerns.

  ‘She didn’t ought to stay here at all.’ Mrs Peam drew in on them. ‘I’ve heard Sidney beating and threatening her. If he takes on an ugly mood she could be in danger, and that poor child that’s due any day.’

  ‘Ais, ’tes no place for a woman in her condition,’ one Mr Penver declared.

  ‘Could be the end of her and the child,’ said his brother. ‘Never seen someone in such a state.’

  Kate looked at Jill. ‘We have to do something. Well, I do. It’s my responsibility.’

  ‘I’ve seen enough. We’ll take her to the farm for a few days,’ Jill said without hesitation. ‘If Tom were here he’d say the same thing.’

  Kate was mightily relieved and grateful at the offer, that Delia would be getting away from the terrible situation of Tony’s justifiable manslaughter, but she felt it was only fair to point out, ‘She could give birth during that time.’

  ‘All that matters is she’s safe and well. Kate, pack some things for her. We’ll leave a note for your brother explaining Delia was taken ill and we thought it was for the best. Hopefully, he’ll understand. I don’t suppose he’ll want the care of her anyway.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Kate said. ‘If you and Alan get her into the car, I’ll pop upstairs.’ She was in no doubt that Sidney wouldn’t look after Delia properly. He was unlikely to cause trouble, seeing this new situation as a way to further his own ends. But if he did get violent with Delia or anyone at the farm, somehow she would see him off herself.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  As he entered the farmyard it bothered Jonny that he should be feeling awkward. As much as he loved and respected his Aunt Emilia, this had been his uncle’s property before hers, damn it. He should be able to come and go without feeling he was up to no good. Aunt Emilia wasn’t his blood relative, and Perry was just her second husband. They’d had no right to banish him from Kate as if he was some sexual predator. He had declared he loved Kate and they should have taken him at his word. They were not Kate’s stand-in parents, and nor were Tom and Jill. They were friends who should allow her the dignity of living her life her way. He could offer Kate the absolute that a man was capable of giving a woman. No one would stop him from seeing her. If Kate wanted him too, that was how it was going to be.

  The day before he had turned up on Louisa’s doorstep, in Truro. ‘This is a lovely surprise, Jonny. I wasn’t expecting you for a couple of days. What’s the matter?’ Her delighted greeting had died away; she had noticed his shadowed expression. He was raw to the bone after the events in Lincolnshire but had convinced Louisa he was feeling low because he’d found Abbie unwelcoming and was tired after travelling. The only person he could ever tell about his baby, the child he would never see and never know he existed, was Kate. When the time was right, as his friend or future bride, he would confide his aching secret to her. And his bride she would be, even if it meant he had to fight off the most relentless opposition. The fact that he might have to, so unnecessary and ridiculous, filled him with anger. First he must commiserate with Kate over the dreadful news he’d read in today’s Western Morning News about her brother’s death.

  He strode towards Tom’s door. He was going straight to Kate.

  ‘Jonny!’ She was behind him, in work clothes and boots, coming from the piggery. Dropping a pail she hurried to him with her lopsided gait.

  ‘Kate!’ He ran, arms reaching for her. She was a gorgeous vision. Her hair was shining in its glorious red tints and her eyes and skin were glowing with loveliness and health. She wasn’t a girl any more. In his absence she had claimed her woman’s rights and she was a creature of blossoming sensuous beauty. He loved her more than his senses and nature deemed possible.

  Her arms lifted to meet his embrace but he didn’t just hug her. He lifted her off her feet and clutched her to his body and fixed a loving kiss on her soft warm cheeks. ‘Darling Kate, how I’ve missed you. It’s wonderful to see you, to be with you again.’ He could hardly contain the thousand other things he wanted to declare to her.

  She laughed into his eyes and kissed him back. ‘I’ve missed you too, Jonny. It seems you’ve been away for ages.’

  He had been worried he would find her dispirited through the bereavement but she seemed confident and purposeful. He could feel the energy flowing through her. Her eyes were shimmering with tenderness. He wanted to gaze at her for ever. ‘You look gorgeous, Kate.’

  Kate placed her face against his neck for a second. It was a marvellous surprise that Jonny was here. He was part of her new life and things hadn’t seemed complete without him around.

  Reluctantly, he put her down but wound his arm round her tiny waist.

  She lifted her arm to do the same to him. Without saying so, they wanted to stay alone and walked to the seclusion of the goat house steps. Perched side by side, they linked together once more.

  ‘I was sorry to learn about your latest trouble, Kate. How your brother died. What he did. Louisa phoned Aunt Em and she filled her in on the details. How terrible that you and Jill were there, but it was a good thing for your sister-in-law. You seem to be taking it well, but how are you, deep down?’

  She rested her face against the side of his arm. Her worries for Delia had taken precedence over her own feelings but the reality behind Tony’s death hit her with a dark force. ‘It was a dreadful shock. I’m upset, of course, but I don’t seem able to grieve as much as I should. I can’t help thinking that if the old lady didn’t have that gun then Tony might have hurt her instead, or worse. At least it’s got Delia away from the place for a while. She’s still in a dreadful state. Keeps saying she doesn’t want the baby. We got the doctor to her and he had to sedate her. He says she’s very weak and needs to build up her strength if she’s to come safely through her labour. Jill and I will make sure she will. She sleeps most of the time, thank goodness. We left the telephone number for Sidney but so far he hasn’t bothered to ring to ask how she is. That’s typical of him. Not that we want him here. He’s a heartless brute. Delia’s scared of him. She’d be better off without him. I can’t help thinking she wishes it was Sidney and not Tony who’d died.’

  ‘I’m so sorry you’ve had to put up with all this. Is there anything I can do to help? Anything at all?’

  ‘I might need help in getting Delia away from Sidney for good. I don’t want her to go back to him. He’d only be cruel to her and the baby.’ She had been trying to work out ways for Delia to gain this freedom. Her grandmother’s money could be used to give Delia a new start, but she needed to go somewhere far enough away where Sidney was unlikely to find her.

  ‘I’ve got contacts all over the country. I’m sure I could find a suitable place for her. As soon as your sister-in-law has given birth, we’ll get her away together.’

  Kate met Jonny’s avid gaze. ‘That’s an enormous relief. Delia will be so grateful. Strange, isn’t it? How so many of us haven’t had a traditional family life. I was despised and thrown out by my mother. You partly grew up here, and then you were taken to Watergate Bay where you had a stepmother and stepsister. Jill was brought up by her grandmother, and Tom, and his brother and sister, had Mr Perry for a stepfather from a young age. When Alan and his sister were orphaned, Mrs Killigrew took them in before she was married, then she and Mr Killigrew adopted them. Your sister Louisa was adopted and her past kept a secret for many years. Mr Fuller’s wife abandoned their little girl, and Jana will soon be getting Louisa for a stepmother. And now my little niece or nephew is facing the future without its father.’

  Jonny’s brow ha
d shot up at her familiar mention of Alan Killigrew. Was he hanging about her? If so, he’d soon see him off.

  ‘You’ve just come back from seeing Abbie. She was good to me. Do you think the Rothwells could find a nice little home and part-time job for Delia?’

  Jonny couldn’t help drawing in a hurt breath at the mention of Abbie and Oak Tree Warren.

  ‘Sorry.’ Kate touched his arm. ‘Here’s me rambling on about my concerns when I haven’t even asked you about yourself. Wasn’t it a good meeting with the Rothwells? You don’t look quite yourself, Jonny. Something was wrong before you went away. Do you regret leaving the air force? I keep worrying that you think you’ve made a big mistake. I suppose you could always join up again. Isn’t the photography going as well as you’d hoped?’

  He smiled deep in her eyes, putting a hand firmly over hers, softly rubbing her fingers with the pad of his thumb. ‘My career is going just fine, Kate. I’m beginning to make a bit of a name for myself.’

  ‘I’d like to hear all about it.’

  ‘You will,’ he promised. ‘I could take you out for dinner or we could steal an afternoon to ride together. The thing is, I had a bad experience when I was away, Kate.’ He told her about the tense time in Lincolnshire. ‘I was so looking forward to seeing Archie, my old friend. It was all very awkward.’

  ‘And Abbie was pregnant all the time she was here. Gosh! No wonder Mr Goodyear came down straight away when she disappeared. And now they’re planning a new life abroad. Do you think she was cold towards you because you remind her of what she went through?’

  Jonny took a deep steadying breath. He couldn’t allow Kate to believe a lie and perhaps despise him later when the truth emerged. ‘Kate, please don’t think too badly of me. Actually, the baby is mine. I would have offered to do the right thing, but Abbie felt Douglas Goodyear would make a better father than me, offer the baby a more settled life. She’s quite determined that it will never know who its real father is. My child will be one more growing up without both its rightful parents. Abbie is over-protective towards it. The child could be smothered by love. It’s all a bit of a mess really.’ He searched her eyes, praying she wasn’t shrinking away from him.

  Too many sordid things had happened in Kate’s life for her to be judgemental about others, and she was touched that Jonny had confided in her. ‘I’m sorry, Jonny. It hardly seems fair to you. Life’s never simple, is it?’

  He gave an ironic laugh. ‘I suppose if it was we’d all be complaining we were bored. Kate, I must ask you to keep this to yourself for ever. There’s no point in going against Abbie’s wishes. I haven’t even told Louisa, but I had to tell you. You see, I care for you very much.’

  ‘I’m glad you see me as a special friend. You’re special to me too. Well, I’d better go in. Delia is in the house alone. Come with me? I’d like to hear all about the Lakes.’

  Jonny went with her, staying close. On the flagstones outside her kitchen was Emilia, with her arms folded and a grim expression. He didn’t care about his aunt’s disapproval. She had followed her heart twice in her life and she wasn’t going to stop him from following his.

  * * *

  Jill took up Delia’s supper. ‘Hello, Kate’s with Alan and Tom’s cousin, Jonny, who’s showing them some photos. It’s a little baked fish. Let me help you sit up, then see what you can manage to eat. The doctor wants you to build up your strength. Your body has an important task ahead very soon.’

  Groggy and lethargic, unwilling to open her eyes, Delia allowed herself to be tugged gently until she was sitting up. ‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured, too depressed to raise her voice above a dry whisper. ‘I’m such a bother to you.’

  ‘No you’re not.’ Jill put on jolly tones to prove she was telling the truth. ‘We’re happy to help.’

  ‘But it’s not as if I’m a blood relative of Kate’s.’

  Jill set the legs of the tray either side of Delia, just below her bump. ‘Try to eat up. Kate cooked it especially for you.’

  She stayed in the room. Delia needed to be coaxed to eat her meals. She brought up a chair.

  The food was cut into small manageable pieces to eat with a spoon. Delia had no appetite but the first taste stimulated her tongue and she got a few spoonfuls down. ‘It’s nice.’ She rewarded Jill with a wan smile, before lying back breathless.

  ‘That’s the ticket. Shall I help you with the rest?’ Minutes later, ‘An empty plate. Kate will be pleased. Would you like to try some apple pie?’

  Delia shook her head. Jill took the tray away. ‘Do you need the bathroom?’

  ‘I’d better go.’

  ‘A short walk will get the blood flowing. Make you feel better.’ It was necessary to escort Delia in case the sudden exercise made her feel dizzy. On the way back, Jill said, ‘When you’re up to it you can take a bath. The district nurse is coming tomorrow to give you a blanket bath.’

  ‘I’ve never been in a proper bath before. Everyone’s so kind,’ Delia said, when tucked up in bed. ‘I didn’t know before that people could be kind.’

  Jill resumed her seat, getting the feeling Delia wanted to talk. ‘That’s very sad. Kate said you didn’t have a particularly good life at home before you married.’

  ‘No, I didn’t. My parents were very strict and always suspicious of others. The first time I looked at a boy they called me a whore. I resent the way I was brought up. If I’d been taught about proper relationships, to look up in life, I wouldn’t have been tempted to meet secretly with one of the village ruffians. If Sidney didn’t marry me when I got pregnant they’d have thrown me out anyway, not caring if me and the baby died in the gutter. I hate them for it.’ The more she went on the more upset she got, until large bitter tears fell down her washed-out face and dripped off her chin. Jill passed her a hanky then perched on the bed and rubbed her arm in sympathy. ‘This baby won’t have any doting grandparents. It’s got nothing really. It’ll have a life of going without. And a father who’ll only be rotten to it, who’s already seeing other women. And a mother who doesn’t want it.’ Kate had promised she’d get her away from Sidney but Delia wasn’t looking forward to anything. Right now it would be a blessing if she closed her eyes and never woke up.

  ‘But you’ll want the baby when it’s born. When you’re holding it in your arms. It will be different then.’

  ‘No it won’t!’ Delia cried great wracking sobs. ‘I don’t feel anything for it. I don’t feel anything at all. I’ve had everything cursed and beaten out of me. You’ll think me terrible, you losing a baby that you badly wanted, but I just want it to be all over and I don’t ever want to see this baby. I hate the very thought of it there inside me. I don’t want it. I don’t want it!’

  Jill moved her hands to Deha’s trembling shoulders. Poor girl, she wasn’t much older than Kate, and had the bleakness of never knowing security and peace. ‘It’ll be all right, Delia, I promise you. Neither Kate, nor I and Tom will allow you to go back to your old life. It’s natural what you’re feeling after all the terrible things that have happened to you. But you’re here now and you’re safe. Try not to get so upset. All you need to do is to rest and get stronger. When the baby comes you will get all the help you need. Does that make you feel better?’

  Delia stopped sobbing, mopped her eyes and grew serious. ‘You’re trying to say the right things, bless you for that. But you can’t really understand how I feel. Whatever happens, Sidney will cause trouble. He’s planning on sponging off Kate for money. If she refuses he’ll get ugly about it. And no matter what you say, I don’t want this baby. Even if Sidney was no longer part of my life. I wouldn’t want it because it’s part of him, part of his rotten parents and his murdering brother. I’m going to tell you something now, God knows I need to tell someone, but I don’t want you to ever tell Kate. It’s better she never knows. She’s got a chance of happiness with that Alan and I don’t want nothing to spoil it for her. Tony admitted to me and Sidney that he murdered his mother. That after she fe
ll he deliberately rammed her head back against the oven door to make sure she died. I’d lived in fear of Tony ever since. So you see, I want to get away from the Viants and everything that reminds me of them. Otherwise I’ll go mad. I’ll never make a good mother to this baby. It doesn’t deserve that. Have I convinced you at last?’

  Jill fell quiet, shoulders hunched. She felt as if the breath had been knocked out of her. It was a lot to take in. ‘But what do you think you can do with the baby?’

  ‘It’s obvious. Give it away. Have it adopted. You can have it, if you want it. You’ve told me the odds are against you having your own children. You can have this child. That way it’ll get all the love it needs and I’ll be really free.’

  Jill felt her heart leap. She and Tom had talked about adoption. Was she looking at the perfect solution? Delia seemed to mean all she had said. She wanted to deliver the baby and disappear, go away and start a new life. She could be given the funds to do so, and if Sidney Viant caused a problem he could almost certainly be bought off. It was unlikely he really wanted his child – money seemed to be his only priority. Legal papers could be drawn up and the baby would be hers and Tom’s. Her baby. The thought made her long for it. Its biological parentage didn’t matter. But she would have to be cautious. Delia had suffered a lot of trauma but she might bond with the baby and change her mind. Jill knew she mustn’t build up her hopes only to have them dashed. First she must speak to Tom. She told Delia this.

  Delia had grown calmer as she’d watched Jill in her thoughtful silence. She had not been able to see a way out before unless she abandoned the baby. There was hope at last.

  Alan was determined to linger at the farm until Jonny Harvey left for an overnight stay at Tremore. It was getting late and Jill and Tom couldn’t understand why Jonny seemed so unwilling to leave. ‘Time you were getting along, isn’t it?’ Tom said. He was referring only to Jonny, happy to allow Kate a few minutes alone to say goodnight to her boyfriend. Jill had taken Tom aside and told him about Delia’s unexpected offer, saying they wanted to go up to bed and talk it over more thoroughly.