Amazon.com ReviewJen Lancaster and Dave Barry: Author One-on-One The New York Times has pronounced Humor Hotel and Jen Lancaster eventually took over his nationally syndicated humor column. Dave: Which has a higher IQ: gravel or the cast of Jersey Shore? Jen: On the surface, gravel clearly seems to have the edge. Gravel’s managed to exist for thousands of years without ever once having started a bar fight when someone looked at its Ed Hardy T-shirt funny. However, after the episode where Pauly D. went swimming and emerged from under the water with every hair still firmly in place, I’m forced to declare Jersey Shore the winner. The kind of civil/chemical engineering it takes to hold that ’do in place is nothing short of genius. Dave: What can we, as a nation, do about the Kardashians? Jen: One word: caning. Dave: Do you ever watch Dog the Bounty Hunter? If so, do you agree that he would be a really fun United States senator? Jen: I love Dog and believe he’d be a fantastic senator. He’s clever, he’s efficient, he’s no-nonsense, and he’s not afraid to knock a few heads together if needed. He’s exactly what this country needs. Plus, I’d like Mr. Dog to Go to Washington if for no reason other than to see his wife dressed up like Jackie O while on the campaign trail. (The caveat is I’m from Illinois and most of our living governors are felons, so it’s possible my standards aren’t terribly high.) Dave: How come women are so good at appearing to not be thinking about sex? Jen: Because we’re the ones in charge of doling it out, so there’s no guesswork involved on our part. Ergo, we can think about more important stuff. Like handbags. Dave: Like many men, I have four kinds of shoes: 1) black shoes, 2) brown shoes, 3) sneakers 4) backup sneakers. Do I need more? What should they be? Jen: I reject the premise of this question because whereas most men own four pair of shoes, they own nine different kinds of hammers. Framing? Claw? Tack? Ball-peen? Any woman worth her salt knows that almost all household repairs can be accomplished with one of two tools—a butter knife or the heel of a loafer. Dave: Do you think ketchup has to be kept in the refrigerator? Why? Jen: Yes, but less for food safety concerns and more because we don’t want to damage the self-esteem of the other condiments. (Mayonnaise can be so self-conscious.) Dave: Are cats malicious, or actually the spawn of Satan? Jen: Um, cats are wonderful and loving little creatures who live to make us happy, and they only barf in our shoes and scratch the bejesus out of our new ottomans and trip us at the top of the stairs to demonstrate exactly how special we are to them. They are in no way, shape, or form evil, meaning they would never trap me and both of my dogs in my office, causing me to send out cryptic interview answers hoping desperately the reader will properly interpret them and SEND HELP. (Photo of Dave Barry © Raul Ribiera/Miami Herald) (Photo of Jen Lancaster © Jeremy Lawson)From Publishers WeeklyAfter embarrassing herself in front of her idol Candace Bushnell, popular memoirist Lancaster (Such a Pretty Fat, Bitter is the New Black) decides she needs more in her life than reality TV and hamburgers; to that end, she sets out on an Eliza Doolittle-esque project of cultural self-improvement to expand her knowledge of art, fine dining, and all the attendant trappings of "high class" life. Lancaster's latest will no doubt appeal to fans of her blog and her other books, but readers unfamiliar with her strident manner will have to get past her abrasive, initially judgmental façade; she puts on a proud display of her ignorance that can be off-putting, especially when couched in her excessively scattered writing style. Though she's unquestionably funny and comfortable in her own skin, for all the joking self-regard there's little actual exploration, and the analysis of what she does find doesn't go far beyond a sassy thumbs-up or thumbs-down. Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. Views: 54
A collection of five erotic stories with mixed spanking themes.After Party by CyanneWhen Jen gets horny after a house party she invites her boyfriend's best mate to come and watch as she rides Dan and puts on a show. Little does she realise that Dan knows just what's going on and decides she needs to be shown who's in charge.But I MeantTo Pay For It! by Teresa JosephA mix-up at the supermarket leaves Chantelle at the mercy of the store manager who offers her an ultimatum. She can either try and convince the police of her innocence or take a punishment of Ms Crosby 's devising. Submitting to the manager's relentless spanking is only the start of her humiliation...Hunger by January JamesRunning a bookstore/coffee shop had been Echo's dream. The reality was turning out to be a little more stressful than she had bargained for. Working late to correct her assistant's mistakes yet again, she gets surprised byJohn bringing dinner to her but dessert is even more of a... Views: 54
SUMMARY:
DETECTIVE INSPECTOR JACK FROST
Jack Frost, Denton Division, is not beloved by his superiors. In fact, he's something of a pain in the brass: unkempt and unruly, with a taste for crude humor and a tendency to cut corners. They'd like nothing better than to bounce him from the department. The only problem is, Frost's the one D.I. who, by hook or by crook, always seems to find a way to get the job done.
It's a high price to pay for a pack of smokes when Frost interrupts his vacation to filch some of Commander Mullett's cigarettes and finds himself pressed into emergency duty. Denton Division is shorthanded after a car crash involving several tipsy high-ranking cops, and on Guy Fawkes night there's more mischief abroad than just a few children making the rounds begging pennies and lighting firecrackers. In the next few days, Frost will deal with a parade of miscreants, including a blackmailer, a shifty businessman, a not-so-grieving widow, a sexual pervert or two, a crazed housewife, and a cold-blooded kidnapper. The clock is ticking, and Frost is perilously short of clues.... Views: 54
Charley Van Leeuwen can tell by a man's kiss whether he's been drinking Taittinger or Veuve Clicquot. Not that she kisses many men, a fact her friends deplore. So imagine their surprise when she comes home to San Francisco with her new husband, Jack.Jack Fairfax is the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. But is he the mild-mannered meteorologist he claims to be?Sometime between finding a dead body in her bathtub, tagging along on a ransom drop, and getting rescued by her husband in a hail of bullets, Charley begins to believe there's more to Jack's past than he's willing—or able—to admit.So, here's Charley, used to her money as a cushion, forced to protect her family and friends and rescue her non-profit repertory theater from artistic and financial ruin. If that means dealing with kidnappings, murders, bitter ex-boyfriends, out-of-control relatives, and vicious former spies—all while staging a play—well, nobody ever said marriage would be... Views: 54
This is a romp around a university campus beset with business pressures and political chicanery centred on third world riches. The stakes are high and penalties dire. Even so, many are prepared to chance their arm, or for that matter their body, and do! Coincidentally Zombek, an emergent mineral-rich African country, wants to step up progress by introducing hundreds of native-born graduates to help run all areas of their economy. Their own education system is not up to it. They want British university standards. The trouble is that most of their young people are not quite university entrant material. Views: 54
The light of freedom.That is all Jennifer remembers before she escaped a secret compound deep in the wooded terrain of Arkansas. Eluding her captures, she finds a world in ruins. The abandoned cars on the interstate act as tombs for the dead and many of the living have been mentally altered by what the survivors call the SA8 virus.Jennifer must persevere through the dreadful infected camp in Texarkana, run by vicious leaders. She must also deal with the dispute of the uninfected as to whether she will be allowed into their community when her blood tests come back as inconclusive and the one man willing to sacrifice everything he has created to get to the truth behind her diagnosis. Is she resistant to the virus? Does she hold the cure for human survival? Resistant is an action-packed dystopian that will keep you intrigued to the very end. Views: 54
The empire is falling, the dragons are on the rise - the superb new fantasy series for all fans of George R.R. Martin. Prince Jehal has murdered, poisioned and betrayed his way to the top. There is a new speaker for the realms, his opposition has been crushed, now he just has to enjoy the fruits of power. And yet . . . He feels more for the wife he married for power than perhaps he should and his lover knows it. And out in the realms those loyal to the old regime are still plotting. and there are rumours that the Red Riders, heralds of revolution and doom are on the ride. And still no-one has found the famous white dragon. The dragon that, if it lived, will have long since recovered from the effects of the alchemical liquid fed to the the dragons of the realms to keep them docile, to block their memories of a time when they ruled and the world burned . . . Stephen Deas has created an epic world, vivid characters, a plot full of betrayals and the most awesome dragons fantasy has seen. Views: 54
Who says romance is dead? Certainly not the authors of these powerful stories of lesbians in love—and sometimes in lust. Best Lesbian Romance 2009, edited by the award-winning author of such books as When Dreams Tremble and Turn Back Time, presents the juiciest, most seductive love stories written today. Putting a new spin on the subject, these stories explore the underlying emotions and complex relationships that help define love between women. From a shy glance across a crowded room, to a casual meeting at a dinner party, to an accidental encounter on a street corner, this collection of romantic interludes showcases the many ways love can be both lost and found. Contributors include Jennifer Fulton, Karin Kallmaker, Radclyffe, Rakelle Valencia, and Alison Tyler. Views: 54
Dr. Martin Luther King had a dream. And Stevie Wonder had a dream. This is a book about dreams.' In the autumn of 1980, Stevie Wonder invited Gil Scott-Heron to join him on a forty-one-city tour across America, ending in Washington in January 1981, to gather popular support for the creation of a holiday in honour of the great civil-rights leader, Martin Luther King, Jr. Scott-Heron uses this history-making tour as the backbone of his fascinating memoir. Raised by his grandmother in Jackson, Tennessee, Scott-Heron's journey from humble beginnings to becoming one of the most uncompromising and influential musicians and songwriters of his generation is a remarkable one. Politically savvy and savagely satirical, socially conscious and tender-hearted, Gil Scott-Heron has been called the godfather of rap, and his unexpected death in May 2011 marked the loss of one of the world's most vocal and articulate artists. Chuck D of Public Enemy said ... Views: 54
