Your Every Desire Read online

  (Be sure to read the special teaser from Carnal Knowlege at the end.)

  Your Every Desire

  by

  Celeste Anwar

  (c) copyright July 2003 by Celeste Anwar

  Cover art by Eliza Black, (c) copyright July 2003

  New Concepts Publishing

  Lake Park, GA 31636

  www.newconceptspublishing.com

  “Please tell me you’re shittin’ me, ‘cause if you haven’t developed a sense of humor along with that tight ass, I’m just going to bitch slap you right now,” Cass said, crossing her arms over her chest and giving Ananda a look that singed her eyebrows.

  Ananda Monroe feigned innocence. “Huh?”

  “He likes you. I can tell these things,” Cass said, taking a sip of her diet coke and still giving Ananda the evil eye. Cass was able to multi-task with the best of them.

  “Who?”

  Cass knocked on her own head. “Hello! Jesse! Just looking at that man makes me cream my jeans.”

  “Please. That’s so gross.” She laughed and rolled her eyes. Cass had never really grown up. She still acted like they were teenagers. And yes, she could admit it. The man was hot enough to melt any woman’s insides. She’d always had a thing for dark haired men.

  “He’s just ... friendly.” Ananda couldn’t help looking surprised though at her buddy’s speculation. As old as she was, she’d never been able to figure out when flirtation was genuine--maybe because she’d spent the last ten years or so fat and dumpy and been virtually ignored by the male of the species ... unless they chose to torment her. Yeah, that could be it. Besides, she seriously didn’t believe Jesse Rainer was interested. “Men like Jesse just don’t look at women like me. Hell, he’d probably joke with his friends about banging a fatty if he got me.”

  “Pshaww! You’re beautiful. You were beautiful before you lost weight, and you’re beautiful now. I’m surprised you don’t have to beat men off with a stick. And you are NOT fat, Ananda. When are you going to get over that?”

  “Never,” she muttered under her breath. People always said that--oh, she’s big boned, but look how pretty her face is! Not that she doubted Cass’ sincerity, bless her heart. All the compliments in the world didn’t matter when they came from people who loved you--they couldn’t help being biased.

  True, Ananda had lost a lot of weight in the past year, but it was still hard to believe she wasn’t the fat girl she’d always been. Maybe it was because she still never looked in any mirror that showed more than a head shot....

  “Anyway, you’re getting off topic. I heard him ask for your number. And you didn’t give it to him. I’ve half a mind to go back and give it to him myself.”

  “It was a reflex action. Couldn’t help it. Besides, it was a joke, okay? And he didn’t exactly put it that way.” Maybe she was prejudiced, but in her experience, it always proved true. Good looking, straight, unattached men always used her as an object of ridicule. It was only natural for her to be distrustful of them--none had ever bothered earning her trust. Better to cut herself off than leave herself open to more hurt.

  “Bullshit. A tight beefcake like that don’t come along that often, leastways not for mortal girls like us. It’s just--” Cass sputtered, “I’m almost speechless at your idgit tendencies. You’re supposed to be the smart one.”

  Ananda rolled her eyes. “God save us. I caught that almost, by the way.” She grinned. “Besides, it’s against office policy to date at work.”

  “He works in the building not that office--”

  “And he’s just ... uh….” She wracked her brain, looking for the right word. “…safe I guess. I’m twenty nine now--”

  Cass cleared her throat and muttered, “Thirty.”

  Ananda ignored her and continued, “I’m just looking for something ... different.”

  “You mean ugly?”

  “You’re being shallow now.”

  “I just want you to get laid, and there’s nothing wrong with snagging a purty one. When was the last time you got poked?”

  “Poked? You sound like my brother now.” She giggled and forced it down, frowning to look serious. “That’s none of your business anyway.”

  “HA! It’s been too long. That defense is a dead giveaway.”

  Ananda turned her nose up at her.

  “You read too much. I know what you’re really looking for.”

  Ananda kicked her under the table. “You’re the one that got me started on those.”

  “You’re such a tightass.” Cass chuckled. “Couldn’t’ve been me. These virgin eyes would never dare look at ‘smut’.”

  Ananda grunted.

  “Speaking of smut….” Cass paused a minute and fished around in her purse as she continued, “I got this address I want you to check out next time you’re feeling adventurous. I know it’s in here.... Success!” She pulled out a business card and pushed it across the table, face down.

  Ananda eyed it dubiously. Cass and her porn sites. Granted, they were of the highest quality and always entertaining, but she wanted something more tangible. Looking at pictures of naked men just didn’t get her off, and she highly suspected these women’s sites were just for gay men. Perhaps a new vibrator was what she needed to get her spunk back. She’d thrown the last antique away and sworn never to buy another--they were too damn addictive. But it beat the hell out of having one huge, muscular arm....

  Sighing, she picked up the card. It was heavy stock, the edges embossed in a frame around a single line: YourEveryDesire.com.

  The name caused a shiver to skate up her spine. “What is this?” she asked, holding it up to the light to see if there was some watermark telling more. There was nothing but that one bold, intriguing line in cursive script.

  “What’s it sound like?” she taunted, ever the tease.

  “It sounds like you should tell me where you got this.”

  Cass tucked a dark strand of hair behind her ear and grinned, raising Ananda’s suspicion. “I’m not telling.”

  “Cass,” she said warningly, frowning. Your Every Desire.... She had to get some work done--she couldn’t waste time surfing some website. It irked her that it intrigued her enough to consider skipping work. Old, sensible Ananda would never do that though.

  “Just go to the address and be prepared for a mind blowing experience. Oh yeah ... make sure your digital camera is hooked up.”

  * * * *

  Ananda was wrong about Cass distracting her. She’d been so busy finishing the new layout for the magazine she hadn’t had time to think beyond the pain in her lower back and the ever present ticking of the clock down to deadline. The building was empty by the time she finished--nearly midnight. Outside, the moon had risen and the sultry air cooled to a low simmer. It was going to be a hot summer, she predicted morosely. She caught a late run bus to her street, the rigid seats agonizing on her worn tailbone. A long weekend in air conditioning and a handful of aspirin would do her wonders.

  Dead on her feet, she trudged up the single flight of stairs to her apartment and entered, greeted only by the blue glow of her computer screen. She’d forgotten to turn it off when she’d stopped by her apartment to retrieve some files before returning to work. The ivory business card Cass had given her at lunch was tucked into the corner, beckoning her, but she steadfastly ignored it.

  Flipping lights on as she went, Ananda dragged herself to the bathroom, popped some aspirin, and took a long, hot shower. Finally, when her muscles were as substantial as jelly, she got out, slipped on a camisole and panties, flipped the lights, and crawled into bed with her hair wrapped in a towel. She was too tired for anything more rigorous.

  Once the lights were out though, her mind came alive despite her bo
dy’s protest. The red dial of her clock taunted her with each passing minute. It was still sort of early for a Friday, and she could sleep late in the morning.... Over and over she thought of reasons to get out of bed, and with a growl, turned on the bedside lamp and sat up. To hell with it. She’d see what the site was about and then go to bed. And in the morning when her eyes were puffy and black from lack of sleep, she’d call Cass over for a personal ass kicking session.

  Ananda pointed the digital camera away and settled herself in front of the computer, curling her legs in the seat. As she waited for connection, she drummed her fingers on the desk, listening to the low volume monitor speaker chirp softly as the modem connected to the network.

  Chewing at a nail, she pecked the address into the browser, double checking the address before hitting enter. A red screen appeared, blurred forms slowly coming into focus, until she found herself staring at writhing shapes beneath crimson satin--like bed sheets draped over lovers. It went black suddenly, a white cursor blinking lonely on the dark screen.

  So far, she wasn’t really impressed. Cass had finally lost it. She moved the mouse up to close the window and the cursor started to life, typing.

  What do you desire, Ananda? The cursor stopped, awaiting her response.

  “How the hell did they know...?” Cass. She must’ve set her up. Okay, she’d play along.

  Smug, she typed: Mind blowing sex.

  Not specific enough.

  Wasn’t this supposed to be ‘your every desire’? Shouldn’t it be easy?

  Ananda sat back, scrounging her tired brain for inspiration. Geez, what did she want? Thinking about it, when it came right down to bare fantasy, she wanted what the heroines in all those erotic stories had, but pinning it down to specifics was difficult. All right, so she’d been reading too much, and she was horny as hell.

  She tried again: I want to live out an erotica.

  Not specific enough.

  More? She was having to think too much to have a good time. Maybe that’s what the problem had been all along. She’d always been a brain, a thinker. What she wanted was to lose control and have the burden of responsibility taken off her shoulders. She was tired of having to make all the decisions, do all the work, be the creative one. Couldn’t she just be lazy a while? Men were just too submissive these days--they didn’t have to do anything. Submissive ... a breathy word in her mind that conjured all sorts of forbidden images. Ananda swallowed hard and settled her fingers over the keyboard.

  I want to be ... dominated.

  Accepted. Selecting match.

  Ananda waited anxiously, watching the small clock on the screen tick off the seconds. After a minute, a window popped up on her screen. In it, she could see a man swathed in darkness. A keyboard lay across his lap. A T-shirt stretched tight across his chest, baring muscular arms, and a Celtic tattoo curled around his right bicep like a lover’s hand. His face remained in shadow save for the full lower lip and hard, square line of his jaw, dark with stubble.

  She tingled in secret places just looking at him. He definitely fit the bill in fulfilling her every desire. Bless Cass. Sleep was the furthest thing from her mind as she watched his long, tapered fingers type.

  I want to see you.

  Ananda chewed a nail, looking at the camera, still turned away. Is it necessary?

  He smiled. It ... heightens the experience. I want you to enjoy yourself.

  Jesus, she’d never done anything like this in her life. What difference did it make? She’d never meet him in real life anyway ... and the benefit was he knew nothing of her past, couldn’t know she’d once had a weight problem. He’d only see her--the real her. Taking a fortifying breath, she removed her towel and shook out her hair, then turned the camera to face her. Nerves wound tight, she sat back down.

  You’re lovelier than I imagined. He smiled again, warming her insides. Good. You’re learning already. Do you have voice conference?

  She nodded, blushing at the unexpected compliment, and plugged the headset in. She often used it for work. It had never once occurred to her to use it for play. Pushing her damp hair back, she fit the headset on, greeted instantly by his voice.

  He’d set the keyboard aside and propped his hands on the desk. “Do you want me to dominate you?”

  Ananda shivered at the husky whisper in her ear. A little warmth and she’d swear he was right behind her, leaning close. “I do,” she said, looking into the camera.

  “What is your safety word?”

  A safety word in case things went too far beyond her comfort zone. “Narcissus,” she whispered, settling back in her chair.

  “You must obey only my commands--nothing else until the word is spoken.”

  She nodded.

  “You must say it,” he whispered.

  “I agree to obey your demands.”

  “Good. Follow the line of my finger with your hand ... touch yourself. Like this.” He traced a finger down the column of his throat, over the planes of his chest, circling his nipples. Ananda followed with her own hand, suddenly eager to touch him and be touched in return. There was something elusive about him, beguiling and provocative. His jaw worked as he swallowed, tightening her insides in a knot. He looked hard all over, and she couldn’t help wonder how it would feel to be crushed against him.

  “Rub your nipples. I want them hard for me.”

  A pulse beat between her thighs with his soft, insistent commands. His urging aroused her, emboldened her. The camisole moved silkily against her nipples as she rubbed her palms over them. They hardened instantly, tenting the delicate fabric on the taut peaks of her breasts, aching, begging for the heat of his mouth. She wanted more but couldn’t have it, and it was driving her crazy. She moaned softly, frustrated.

  “Take off your top.” When she hesitated, in a forcible voice, he said, “Now.”

  Hesitant, she stood and pulled the headset away as she drew the top over her head. Dropping it to the floor, she shielded her breasts with one arm and put the headset back on as she sat once more.

  “Drop your arm. You’ve nothing to hide.”

  In all her years, she’d never felt so exposed, so vulnerable. No man had seen her naked since her college years--and even then she’d kept her shirt on. His breathing grew heavy in her ears as she slowly lowered her arm, her skin prickling under his scrutiny, nipples tightening in reaction.

  He sucked in a sharp breath. “You’re beautiful. Never be ashamed of your body. My hands itch to touch you, cup your breasts, pinch your nipples. I want to taste your skin, run my tongue in your every crevice. Would you be as sweet as I imagine...?”

  Each soft word plucked her insides like an instrument. She’d sing for him if he asked it. He moved his hands to the hem of his shirt, catching her attention as he drew it up and over his head, flinging it out of sight. Light glinted off the gilt of a silver ring in each nipple, and dark hair sprinkled across his sculpted chest, drawing in a line down his stomach.

  “Would you like to see more?” he asked.

  “Yes. Please.” Anticipation sped her pulse, heated her skin. It was getting hard to breathe, to think straight.

  He stood and slowly unbuttoned his fly, letting the jeans drop on his hips to reveal his cock. From a trimmed thatch of dark hair, it stood straight out from his rippled belly, engorged, and a thick, silver ring pierced the large rounded head. Metal balls studded his length, gleaming wickedly in the glow of his screen.

  Moisture gathered in her folds just thinking of having him burying that monster inside her, wondering what the silver would feel like in her pussy. She nearly moaned, inexplicably weak.

  “Do you like what you see?”

  “Very much,” she whispered, hoarse.

  “Your turn.”

  Emboldened, she stood and pushed her panties down and kicked them away. “Do you like what you see?” she repeated him when she stood naked before him, thrilling in her newfound freedom.

  “I want more,” he growled, cupping his cock i
n one large hand. “You make me so hard for you. Sit down and put your feet on the desk. Yes, like that. Good. Open your legs, baby, let me see inside you.”

  A flood of hot liquid saturated her cleft at his husky command. She collapsed back as she opened her legs wide, tilting her pussy up to the camera, watching as he stroked his hard cock to the image of her splayed legs.

  “Touch your pussy,” he whispered. “Show me how wet you are for me.”

  Ananda slid her hand down to her slit, past her engorged clit to her swollen folds. She ached so much, needed to feel him inside her--it had been so long.... She stroked a finger down to the edge of her passage, juices gathering on her hand, soaking her.

  “Push it inside--hard.”

  She groaned and thrust deep, arching her head back.

  “Keep your eyes on me, baby. I want you to see what you do to me.”

  She watched him pump his cock, harder and faster, each time pushing her fingers inside herself, rubbing her clit with her thumb.

  The climax was building inside her, turning her blood to fire. She could almost feel his heat pressing against her, feel the cold silver teasing her opening. She stretched, driving her fingers inside again and again, and the orgasm burst upon her in a blinding wave. Still she plunged into her depths, until his cock pulsed and a jet of cum spewed from his erection.

  She collapsed, dropping her feet to the floor--drenched and sated. The musk of her femininity hung in the air, arousing.

  “I’m afraid I couldn’t dominate you properly. You make me lose control, baby.” He shook his head, wiping himself off with a towel.

  She liked that, a lot. He’d still given her a helluva ride, without even touching her. There was something so erotic about pleasuring yourself in front of someone, before a handsome stranger. The thought pulled her up short. She needed to see him, to know what he looked like. “Can I see your face?”

  He tensed in the action of pulling his jeans on, sat down without buttoning the fly. “No. I don’t think you’re ready.”