Bear In Mind (A Billionaire Shifter Romance) (Atonement Book 1) Read online

  Less than a minute after it began, the wolves were fleeing, dragging their wounded comrades behind them. Derek let them go, sending another roar deep into the night, discouraging anything else from trying to harm him.

  He turned back towards her, stumbling slightly as he padded towards her. She could see now blood streaming down from several locations. Before her eyes, she watched as the bear shifted back into his human form. The wounds became more visible to her eyes, but she noticed that much of it wasn't his.

  Derek was breathing heavily as he approached her. She stood frozen, rooted to the spot, unable to decide what to do. Part of her was screaming to run, to get as far away from this monster as possible. She wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do though, because he had just revealed something incredibly private to her, all to save her own life. That was a sacrifice worth respecting at a minimum.

  Her mind and her heart torn, she watched as he got closer. When he stood within arms range, chest heaving as he sucked oxygen into starved lungs, blood covering his arms and bare torso, he reached out to touch her shoulder. She flinched.

  Her heart almost broke at the effect it had on Derek. He practically crumpled in front of her, sadness and regret filling his eyes as he gave her a longing glance. His mouth opened, then closed, and opened once more. No sounds came out though, and he closed it once more, turning away to gather up the dropped picnic remnants.

  His shoulders slumped as he stuffed it into the back of the jeep and started it up. She walked stiffly over to the passenger door and after a moment's hesitation got in. The entire ride back to his airfield was done in silence, neither occupant speaking. Keri was still trying to process what had happened. To her, such a thing shouldn't be possible, it was all a myth, fairytales told to children.

  Still, he had charged headlong into that group of wolves without a care for himself, only interested in saving her. It had been so gallantly stupid, but incredibly brave and ultimately, loving. She couldn't believe that the word love was already being bandied about, but nothing else seemed to fit her current mental state. She looked over at Derek, sighing in resignation.

  "I'm sorry." The sound actually startled Derek. He had been on the stairs into the plane, but now he paused for a moment, setting his shoulders before turning around.

  "You don't have to apologize Keri. I should never have put you through that."

  "You saved my life Derek, and I reacted as if you were some monster." She laid a hand on his shoulder, savoring the warmth that poured off of him.

  "Thank you, for doing what you did." She poured every ounce of care into those words that she could, trying to get through to him that she was trying to make amends, not just saying empty words.

  "The truth is Keri, I couldn't have lived with myself if I had let any harm come to you. I already feel like you're occupying a spot within me that I never knew was empty. It makes me happy and scared in equal parts."

  She stared at him as he opened up to her, revealing the barest hint of weakness. It wasn't much, but it was there. Too many men were unwilling to admit their feelings to a woman, but Derek was bearing his soul to her now. It was that honesty that began to erode her inner walls, opening herself to the possibility that this was real.

  "It, startled me, at first, but now that I'm beginning to recover and come to terms with it, I can accept it. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think it's pretty freaking cool. I know it must be a hard burden to shoulder, but at the same time, you can change into a massive bear!" She was getting excited now, her happiness at having found him breaking down any last resistance to Derek.

  "Keri-" his voice trailed off as her lips found his, their embrace a thing of fiery passion. She raked her hands along his back. He flinched when she hit one of his wounds, but pulled her tighter when she tried to back away.

  Her lips parted as his tongue played across hers, sending shivers down her spine. She went for his pants, beginning to undo them. She desperately wanted to thank him for saving her. Thus, she was shocked when he pushed her away suddenly, a hiss of air rushing between his lips.

  "Wait, Keri. Not like this."

  "What do you mean?" She couldn't believe he was turning her down, after everything that had just happened. Her hormones were singing, and while part of her still knew it might be foolish, mating with him right now seemed like a wonderful idea to her body.

  "I can't. Not after, after being, you know."

  "A bear?" She was puzzled, trying to understand just what he was saying.

  "Yes," he sighed, obviously not comfortable with what he was about to say. "If I get aroused afterward, I'm usually too exhausted mentally to control the bear inside of me. If it gains control, it can sometimes take things too far. I never want that to happen with you."

  She smiled in frustration, appreciative of his thoughtfulness, but still frustrated.

  "Trust me, I want to, I want to so badly. So much of me just wants to pick you up, carry you into the plane and have my way with you." He smiled seductively at her to help get his point across.

  Her mouth went dry at that, warmth flooding between her legs as she imagined herself at his mercy, being physically manhandled like that. As a curvy girl, she didn't get that too often, but she knew Derek would have no problems with that. Fighting against her bodies desires, she nodded her understanding to him, reaching up on her toes to give him a soft peck on the cheeks. Then she took his hand and pushed past him, leading him inside the plane.

  "Let me at least clean you up and bandage you, okay?" Her tone brooked no argument, so he smiled meekly and followed after her into the plane.

  Derek

  The next few weeks passed swiftly for Derek. He took more time off work, letting his investments and businesses manage themselves. He had always believed in hiring capable people and paying them a good wage to ensure they continued to make him more money. It was a sound strategy that had paid off numerous times so far.

  His spare time was spent courting Keri. He made a habit of splitting his time between doing things to make her incredibly happy that involved money, and doing things that were free or next to it, so that she understood he wasn't out to impress her with his wealth, only wanting to do it because he cared for her.

  She reciprocated by not abusing his money, and by grilling him relentlessly, learning who he really was as a person. They became closer than either of them ever thought possible, but she still had never let them have an intimate enough moment to rekindle their passions. Keri had been very careful to see him during the days only, or into the early evening.

  She opened up to him fully emotionally, but they had yet to do more than kiss. Every time he closed his eyes though, the memory of her heat pressed up against him as she tried to remove his pants flashed in his head. His bear was becoming insatiable, forcing him to focus more and more on keeping it restrained and therefore keeping himself out of trouble with Keri. He desperately wanted to treat her properly, as a gentleman.

  Now though, they were preparing to take things to the next level, that would include having to open themselves up in that way again. Both him and his friend Edward were going out to dinner with Keri and Lizzie, a sort of double non-date, since their friends were there for a fun night, not to try and hook them up. Derek knew that would be a bad idea, because he didn't think Edward would be able to stop himself from using her just for sex, and possibly spilling Derek's secret.

  "So, what we've decided," he was talking now as they waited for dinner to be served, " was that Keri is going to come and live with me, instead of having to search for a new place."

  "Oh, that's awesome!" Lizzie exclaimed, giving Keri a hug as the four of them raised their glasses.

  "To Derek and Keri!" Edward intoned, then they clinked together lightly and drank.

  They talked and ate their dinner, all of them looking forward to the film they were going to see later, expecting a riotous good time if the rumors were to be believed.

  "If you'll excuse me for a m
oment, I need to visit the ladies room," Lizzie commented, leaving the others at the table. They continued to chat. When Edwards phone began ringing, he excused himself, leaving the two of them alone.

  Keri nuzzled up against him when they were alone, and he gently stroked her hair, planting little kisses on her forehead from time to time. He didn't care if anyone disliked it, to him there was but Keri, and nothing else. It was as if the rest of the room had gone dark save a spotlight upon her.

  That's how Lizzie found them when she came storming back to the table. Derek looked up in alarm, wondering what was going on. He let his bear instincts slip through, instantly scanning the room for threats. He picked up on nothing, so he looked up quizzically at Lizzie.

  Just in time to get a drink poured on his face.

  "What the hell?" he sputtered, completely in shock as the cold liquid soaked through his clothing.

  "Come on Keri, we're leaving." She tugged on Keri's arm, but she didn't move.

  "Lizzie, what the hell was that for?" Keri was looking back and forth between him and her friend, trying to understand.

  "Remember what you told me to do with the next guy if he turned out to be an asshole, no matter what? Well, I'm pulling that card now as your friend. We're leaving this dick right here."

  That got Keri's attention, and she gave him a suspicious look, the walls already forming in her eyes again.

  Derek simply sat there stunned as the woman he considered the love of his life fled the room. When Edward returned, he was still staring off into the distance, wine dripping down his cheeks and through his beard while other patrons of the restaurant glanced over at him furtively.

  "Derek, what happened?"

  "Who was on the phone Edward?"

  "Huh?"

  "I said, who, was on, the phone?" The tone of his voice had gone dark, threatening. The last time Edward had heard his friend this angry, was when he had gone into full bear rage mode when a roaming pack of werewolves had killed a beautiful stag upon his property.

  "It was Philip..." Edward's voice trailed off now, as he realized what must have happened.

  "Listen, I'm sorry Derek, I was just telling him how funny it was that what started off as a bet had turned into this. I didn't know she was listening!"

  Roaring in anger, he rose, his massive frame upending the table. Before Edward could move, Derek hit him across the face, sending him flying towards another couples table, which he crashed into with a clatter of silverware.

  "Put it on my tab!" he snarled at the nearby waiter, storming out in disgust. He hadn't gone more than a few steps before he stopped to look back at Edward, rubbing his bruised jaw on the floor.

  "I told, I clearly told you, that it never even started like that with her. I asked you not to say anything, to just let that die. You couldn't even respect my wishes for one night, not one night! Now who knows if Keri will ever talk to me again or give me the chance to explain. She was the one Edward. I don't know if you'll ever understand that, but she was the one for me."

  The pain in his voice evident, Derek hung his head for a moment, contemplating his next moves. Then moving slowly, his anger fading fast into hurt and despair, he left the restaurant, looking only down at the ground in front of him, not moving for anyone. He left his car in the parking lot, deciding to walk home. Shuffling slowly he moved off into the dark of the city around him.

  Keri

  They were back at Lizzie's place now, she wouldn't let Keri go back to hers, since Derek knew where she lived.

  "Just what the hell was that all about back there Liz? He's been nothing but amazing to me, why did you pour that drink on him?" Keri was getting frustrated with her friend, who wouldn't say anything until they had arrived home and fortified themselves with a glass of wine.

  "I overheard his friend on the phone Ker, he's not what you think. You know that first night you two met?"

  Keri nodded, that first memory of Derek imprinted on her brain. It had been the best night in a long time, one she cherished every day.

  "Well, he wasn't there randomly. His friend Edward had challenged him to go, to find a helpless girl and seduce her, make her believe he was in love with her, until she fell for him. Then he was going to dump her." She practically spat the words out, taking a long pull of the wine in disgust as she finished explaining it all to Keri in far more detail than she wanted.

  Tears were falling freely down her face now as understanding hit her. She was nothing more than a plaything to Derek, something to toy with and discard when he got bored. The realization of it hurt her down to the core, a pain that was near unbearable. The wine simply wasn't doing the trick, so she put it back on the table, sobbing into her hands while Lizzie consoled her, hugging her fiercely, protectively even.

  The next day, still hurting, but firm in her resolve, she began to look at apartments online. If she couldn't move in with him, she was determined to find a new place for herself. Perhaps, she thought to herself, it was time for a bigger change than just a new apartment.

  Steeling herself, she got ready and emerged from Lizzie's apartment. The two of them had been best friends for years, and had a stash of clothing and personal effects at their respective places.

  Heading down the street, she went to get her hair cut. Walking the sidewalk, she was minding her own business, until a large dog began to snarl and snap at her without warning. Immediately her mind flashed back to that night in the woods with Derek. She went to put her arm out, to stop him from revealing himself, only to hit air.

  Snapping back to reality, she flushed red with embarrassment, pulling her overshirt tighter and hurrying on her way. The incident was almost behind her when she crossed the road at a green light. As she did, a sports car screeched to a halt, its bumper no more than a foot from her. She looked up out of her daze, wondering just what Derek was doing right there and then. It took her a long moment to realize that it wasn't him driving.

  The rest of her day managed to pass without incident, though she kept expecting Derek to knock at the door as she began to pack her belongings. When she came across a shirt tucked away in her closet that looked stained, she shook it out to take a look.

  It was the shirt that she was wearing the night Derek had fought the wolves, and it was still stained with his blood. Keri was sure she had thrown it out, but apparently she must have kept it as a memento of some sort. Now all she could remember was the look on Derek's face when he revealed the truth about himself to her.

  Emotions continued to run strong as her entire apartment was packed over the next two days. There had been no word from Derek, and she was beginning to wonder what had happened to him. She wasn't planning on taking him back, but she had expected at least some effort on his part to reach out and contact her. Apparently he truly was a fake, not a single part of the man she thought she knew was real.

  Derek

  Derek lay on his massive bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. That had become his routine since he had lost Keri, simply staring off into space, imagining what might have been.

  When someone started pounding on the door, he ignored them at first. It became louder and more insistent though. Finally, with a sigh of frustration, he heaved himself to his feet and went to answer the door.

  "You." That was the extent of his greeting when he saw Edward at the door, a large bruise still evident upon his cheek.

  "Yes, me. Listen Derek, I know I screwed up, and bad. I'm not here to argue that."

  "Neither am I," said Philip, pushing past the two of them and walking inside.

  "In fact, we're here to help you."

  Derek simply blinked, having no idea as to what they meant.

  "You haven't called her, have you?" Philip said, rolling his eyes when Derek shook his head.

  "You idiot, you're never going to get her back that way."

  "Get her back? She knows the truth of why I was there. Why would she ever forgive me?" It was nice of his friends to come by, but they were wasting their time as far a
s he was concerned. He didn't deserve a second chance, since he hadn't come clean to her right away. He had lied to her for weeks, pretending that the basis for their relationship was something other than what it had been.

  "Don't make me hit you this time Derek, you thick-headed numbskull. You have to chase her down, go get her. Tell her the truth, and make her see that you actually care for her. If you do nothing, she'll just assume you're gloating and moving on to the next woman." That was Edward, being more practical than Derek had ever heard from him. He furrowed his brow as he tried to understand his friends motives.

  "Wipe that look off your face now. Just because I can be an arrogant dick most of the time, doesn't mean I'm blind to the way you care for this girl. I'm still your friend there, and I'm telling you, you need to go after her. Now."

  Spurred into action by his friends words, and buoyed by the fact that they had sought him out to ensure he would give everything he had to be happy, Derek rushed to make himself presentable.

  His car practically flew through the city streets as he raced over to her apartment. She had already been mostly packed to move into his place, and Derek feared that she may have made a split decision and would be lost to him. He had tried calling her cell phone, but she wouldn't answer it. He would need to track her down personally.

  He pounded on her door for ages, but no answer came. Slamming his fist in frustration, he pressed his head against the door, wondering where to start looking next. As he did, the door behind him opened, revealing a small elderly woman.

  "What's with all the racket going on out here young man?" She was sweet about it, but clearly wanted to make sure he wasn't up to no good.

  "I screwed up ma'am. I screwed up bad, and I need to make it better. I'm sorry if I bothered you, I'll be going now anyways," He nodded politely her way, before turning to head back to the elevators.

  "She's going home."