You Are My Reason (You Are Mine Book 1) Read online

  The simple answer I give him is bullshit and he knows it. “I’m fine.”

  “Yeah, you keep saying that,” he says then turns like he’s going to head back into his office as the phone rings.

  “Go get it.” I nod toward his office. “I’m just picking up a reuben from across the street.”

  “All right.” He heads into his office but before I make it another two steps, he’s popping his head outside of the door again to ask, “Will you get me a Coke?”

  Glancing over my shoulder, I tell him yes as the sounds of everyone else working get louder and louder.

  I don’t break my stride as I head down the hall. Our company owns this entire floor of the Rising Falls Building; it’s a tall office building that’s made for businesses just like ours. The second I stepped in here, I knew this was where I wanted to work. There’s clear glass everywhere. So much natural light and impressive views of the city to provide constant inspiration.

  Even the cubicles have plexiglass walls.

  “Out to lunch?” Margaret asks as I stride past her, needing to shake the nagging feelings that wrestle in the pit of my stomach.

  “I’ll be right back.” I nod, again not slowing my pace and head past all my employees to the elevator.

  “Yes, sir,” Margaret answers with a light-hearted tone. I’ve never seen that woman not smile. As if being our secretary is the highlight of her day. She’s damn good at what she does too. At first, I was opposed to letting someone step in and take control of scheduling and inventory, but as we grew, I just couldn’t handle it all.

  Pressing the button for the elevator, I try to think about anything other than my father. With the button lighting up, I’m reminded of Jules’s text. The irritation and anger nearly vanishes.

  Just the thought of what was going through her mind when she messaged back makes me smile. She’s a testy little thing. I didn’t expect that. There’s more to Miss Summers than I thought and I’m definitely intrigued.

  I check my Rolex as the elevator dings and the doors slowly open. There’s no one inside, so I walk right in and hit the button for the ground floor. Only six hours until dinner.

  My chest feels tight and the small smile leaves me. It’s fucked up in so many ways, but she’ll never know. I’ll make sure she never finds out.

  Julia

  There are pink macarons and crystal chandeliers everywhere I look. I love this place. It’s a tiny shop and the treats are far too expensive for what they are, but it’s the vibe I truly love. I scoot my silver stool closer to the small round table and unpeel the wrapper on my cupcake as I listen to Suzette.

  “I want to know every detail,” she says with barely contained joy. Kat glances between the two of us and so far, she hasn’t touched a thing on the etched tray in the center of the table. I know there’s something there that would make her smile, but she’s not interested. I bet she and her husband had another fight. I wish they wouldn’t; they love each other. It’s been obvious to me since the day she met him.

  Clearing my throat, I avoid replying to Sue’s comment. I can feel both sets of their eyes on me, but I don’t look up. It’s too pretty in here to feel this anxious. My eyes settle on the crystal flute of pink champagne and I take a quick sip, tilting my head up to gaze at the carved tin ceiling. Everything in here is pink, silver, shiny and new. So beautiful to look at, but useless in saving me from this conversation.

  “How could you not tell us?” Kat’s voice is low but not scolding, more surprised than anything. She’s still standing with her purse on a stool and I don’t think she has any intention of sitting down in the least. Until she does, plopping down with her eyes boring into me. “I want to know who you’re seeing,” she adds with a pout.

  The disappointment in her voice makes my appetite for all things sweet and scrumptious vanish. I knew this was coming. You can’t just take off from Katerina Thompson and not have her chew you out later.

  “It wasn’t meant as an insult,” I start to tell her. It’s not like I was trying to upset her, she should at least know that for a fact.

  “It’s because you would have stopped her,” Sue interjects before shoving a tiny cupcake into her mouth and biting it right down the middle. She has no shame and gives Kat the answer as if it’s obvious. Which it is. If I’m an overthinker, Kat is a second-guesser.

  “Of course I would have stopped her.” Her wrath is directed at Sue now and to be honest, I’m grateful. Sue can handle it. She stares Kat right in the eye as she pushes the other half of the cupcake into her mouth with her pointer finger.

  Kat justifies her stance. “She was drunk and how many one-night stands have we regretted right after?” She has a point, I’ll give her that.

  “It’s not that I was keeping it from you,” I say. There’s a small plea in my voice for Kat to calm down. “I was …”

  “You were keeping it from me,” Kat says, finishing my sentence for me.

  “Only until it was over,” I say as my face scrunches with guilt and I hide behind my drink.

  “Oh hush,” Sue says easily and then nods at me. “Good for you for going out and dusting off those cobwebs.” I snort a small laugh and my shoulders shake from it. “He’s cute too.”

  “He’d better be,” Kat says beneath her breath, pulling out a bottle of water from her oversized leather hobo bag.

  Sue rolls her eyes and says, “You going to track him down and beat the crap out of him if he isn’t?” A smile forces its way onto my face and I try to make it go away, but it’s not happening. Kat side-eyes Sue for a moment before returning to her water and taking a sip. With that, the tension vanishes. Kat gets why I didn’t tell her, I know she does. And I get why she’s upset. It’s a simple squabble that’s over the moment Kat reaches for her own cupcake.

  “So, your first one-night stand. How does it feel?” Sue asks.

  I could write a whole book on the effects I’m feeling right now. The guilt, the anxiety. But the other things, the bit of liveliness and … is it pride? Is that what it is? Knowing that I was wanted and desired like that by a man like Mason. And that he still wants me. Yeah, that’s a bit of pride, which is odd to be feeling over this.

  “He texted me this morning.” I sway a little in my seat, picking at the hem of the tablecloth. “He wants to go out tonight.”

  Sue’s eyes go wide. “Really?” She grins in slow motion and then makes a face as she wipes her fingertips on her napkin.

  “What’s that for?” I ask her.

  Sue shrugs and says, “Nothing.”

  “That’s not a nothing look,” I tell her right back. “That’s a something look.”

  Kat reaches for another cupcake, listening intently.

  “You must’ve been good.” Sue pops a piece of macaron into her mouth all the while smiling. The tiered tray was filled with an assortment of sugary treats when Sue arrived, but it’s almost empty now except for the large cupcakes.

  My mouth opens some and I have to force it back shut. By the heat on my cheeks, I imagine I’m beet red. Yeah, it’s definitely pride.

  “So, what’d you tell him?” Kat says. “Don’t worry, I won’t try to stop you,” she adds with an asymmetric smile.

  I’m embarrassed that I first told him I was busy and then suggested the exact time and location he said originally when he told me it was my call, so I just cut to the chase. “I said yes.”

  “You said yes to a date for tonight that was asked today?” Kat asks with a raised brow. Yup, she’s just like me.

  “I did,” I answer slowly as Sue claps her hands and leans her head back with laughter. She’s so loud that a few customers in line at the counter look back at her.

  “I love her. This is just too good to be true.” Sue’s smile just gets bigger and bigger until she spots the last tiny cupcake.

  “I know how it sounds but I told him no at first, and then he said he was available whenever I was ready.”

  “So then you said yes.” Kat nods her head and I n
od in return. I can see the wheels spinning.

  “I want to go out and see him again. It’s that simple.”

  Kat hums, her eyes narrowing like she’s thinking far too hard, biting her tongue, or both. She finally settles on her response, asking, “So you like him?”

  She’s awarded another nod from me as I say, “I do. At least I like the way he makes me feel.”

  There’s another hum from her and Sue shakes her head, opting to finish her drink rather than contribute to the conversation.

  “You have fun tonight,” Sue says with a wink. I give her a small smile back and kiss her cheek before she leaves us so she can get to her meeting on time.

  Maddie’s not coming to this little cupcake brunch so it’s just me and Kat now. I don’t like the feeling that I need armor to have a quick chat with one of my closest friends. I bite the inside of my cheek as I watch Sue leave, the bells hanging above the door ringing as I shift on the stool.

  “Kat, look—”

  “Nope,” she says and holds up her hand. “It’s fine. Last night was fine. Tonight is fine.” Her eyes are closed as she speaks. She nods her head as if she’s convincing herself, moving the purse from on top of her stool to the one Sue was sitting on. She has to shift in her seat to tug down her black pencil skirt. Her white blouse is nearly see through, but she still resembles the epitome of professionalism. She’s always put together and on top of everything.

  “I know last night isn’t something you would do,” I start to say and Kat nods slightly. “I know it upset you for me to leave and not tell you.” I lean forward, putting my hand on the table, closer to her.

  “I think I overreacted,” Kat blurts out before I can say anything else. She doesn’t meet my gaze at first, but then she lifts her eyes to mine. “It really is okay, all of it, and I’m not trying to make you feel bad.” Her words come out with sincerity and it surprises me how much I needed that. “Or slut-shame you or anything like that. I’m happy that you’re happy. I’m just nervous that he’s taking advantage of you, or that you’re going to get hurt …” I brace for what I know is coming as she lowers her voice and says, “You know, so soon after everything.”

  “I know. Thank you.” My voice cracks some and I look for my glass, but then find it empty. I run my fingertips down the stem, feeling overwhelmed again with a mix of emotions.

  Guilt comes out to play more than the rest. It’s not her making me feel guilty. It’s the thought that I should still be mourning.

  “Am I a bad person?” I ask Kat, finally pulling my eyes from the empty flute to her.

  “No,” she answers with sad eyes, taking my hand in both of hers. “I didn’t mean to make you think that—”

  “You didn’t,” I say and wave her off the path she’s going down. “I was just thinking this morning … about …” About Jace. I don’t say it out loud.

  “Just tell me that he’s not going to make you miss your deadline.” Kat deflects, sidestepping this conversation and creating an out for me. God, I love her. She’s my editor and this manuscript is due in two weeks.

  A smile grows on my face, but it’s not genuine in the least. Not because of Kat or Mason or any of that. It’s the use of the word deadline. I know for a fact I’m going to miss that deadline. She doesn’t need to know that, though. “He won’t get in the way of that.” I shake my head cheerfully, my hair swishing against my shoulders.

  “Okay then,” she says as she raises her brows and finally picks up a cupcake. Not the small ones from the tray of random sweets, nope, Kat goes for the largest cupcake with hot pink icing and an Oreo stuck in the center. “Please tell me you’re at least using condoms until you get back on the pill or something.”

  I know she meant for that to be funny, but when I give her a side-eye and a shrug, she practically chokes on that Oreo.

  Mason

  So close you can touch her,

  Delicate and sweet.

  You need her, you crave her,

  To hide your deceit.

  Be gentle and coaxing,

  You can’t let her know.

  If she finds out the truth,

  Out the door she will go.

  Blue Hill dims the lights in the evening at six o’clock sharp. The dinner atmosphere is romantic with lit candles on the tables, combined with the soothing sound of water flowing down the river rock wall next to the kitchen. The chatter from the other guests goes unheard as I sit here alone. The only sound that resonates with me is the clink of silverware and glasses as I wait for Jules to walk through the doors.

  My fingertips brush over the silver tines of my salad fork as I stare straight ahead toward the entrance and maître d’. Multiple guests have arrived since I sat down twenty minutes ago, each one catching my attention and disappointing me. I glance down at my watch again. She still has five minutes until she’s late.

  I make a habit of being early, but I’m regretting it this time. Every minute that passes makes me more eager to leave. Curiosity is the only thing keeping me here in my seat. The door opens and the soft cadence of heels clicking on the slate floor echoes in the large open space.

  She’s here. Jules slips her gray wool peacoat off her shoulders when she walks in and drapes it in her arms as she strides to the maître d’. I stand and button my suit jacket as I walk toward her. I’m only a few tables away and she sees me as the man asks her if she has a reservation.

  “She’s with me.” My voice comes out deep, confident … possessive even. As she turns toward my voice, the hem of her plum-colored dress sways around her thighs. It’s tighter around her ass and waist, showing off her curves and reminding me how she looked beneath me last night.

  “Of course,” the maître d’ says and nods.

  “Thank you,” Jules answers sweetly, giving him a soft smile and looking back at me. It’s only a quick glance before a blush rises to her cheeks and she takes my hand.

  She has a shy elegance about her, but there’s more to her than that. I want to dig a little deeper, if for nothing more than curiosity’s sake.

  I gesture toward the table, pulling out her chair for her like a gentleman. It’s not in my nature, but I have enough manners to impress a woman at least.

  “I’m surprised you wanted to see me again,” Jules says as I take my own seat. The confession sits between the two of us for a moment as I consider a response.

  Before I can say anything, she adds, “Thank you, by the way.” Her eyes flicker from mine to the candle. I don’t miss how she takes a few glances around us as if she’s searching for someone.

  I nod my head easily, setting my napkin in my lap and giving her a moment to get comfortable. The waiter quickly pours her a glass of water from the pitcher he’s holding.

  “Good evening. May I start you off with something to drink?” The young man squares his shoulders and waits, holding the pitcher at attention. He’s dressed in a crisp white button-down and dark gray slacks that match his thin tie.

  “A bourbon for me, please,” I say and wait for Jules. Her slender neck and shoulders are on display. The way the thin straps of her dress lay across the very edge of her shoulders taunt me to pull them down. A simple thin silver necklace sits right in the dip of her collarbone with the word happy etched in the middle. It’s the only piece of jewelry she’s wearing. No ring on her finger. I didn’t notice one last night either.

  “A glass of chardonnay, please.”

  “Right away,” the waiter says and nods, leaving us alone. Once again, Jules squirms uncomfortably. I love her nervousness and how she has a habit of tucking her hair behind her ear. It only adds to her innocence.

  “No tequila?” I say, playing around with her to break the ice.

  She huffs a small laugh and rolls her eyes. “No,” she says as she unfolds her napkin and moves it to her lap, smoothing it out. “No tequila tonight.”

  I shrug, waiting for those soft baby blue eyes to look back up at me. “I didn’t mind the tequila.” I murmur the confession acro
ss the table. There’s not a damn thing dirty that I’ve said but she still blushes. There’s an attraction between us that’s undeniable. It’s easy and carefree. But the air is tense as she looks to her left again and then back to me.

  She hesitates to say something, then changes her mind and clears her throat as she picks up the menu. She talks without looking at me. “I’ve never done anything like this.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like, seeing someone.”

  “Is that what we’re doing?” I ask her. “Seeing each other?”

  Jules puts her menu down and looks at me with a serious expression. “I have no idea.” The sincere answer and complete honesty in her voice force a rough laugh from my chest. I was only teasing her, but she’s too sweet and sincere to get a rise out of her.

  “You can laugh all you want, but I have no clue what’s going on.” She picks her menu back up and says, “I’m just along for the ride, Mr. Thatcher.”

  “Is that so?” I ask her playfully and reach for my glass of water when the waiter returns, setting down my drink first and then hers.

  “It is,” she says, smiling into her glass and taking a sip of the white wine. She closes her eyes and lets out the softest moan of satisfaction that’s barely audible. My cock hardens as I remember last night, the same sweet sound slipping from her lips as I thrust into her over and over again.

  She’s completely oblivious. Even with a shiver of desire running down my spine, she doesn’t seem to notice what she does to me.

  “So, what changed in your plans?” I ask as she eyes the menu again. I don’t bother looking at mine. I know exactly what I’ll have.

  A short, feminine laugh makes her shoulders shake as she pulls her long dark hair over her shoulder and then brushes it back again. “I thought this would be better than what I had planned.”

  Bullshit. I can tell she’s lying from a mile away.

  “And what did you have planned before?” I say and smirk, pushing for more and wanting to see her admit to this little game she played this morning.