I Have Lived And I Have Loved: A Charity Romance Collection Read online

  It didn’t matter what news was filtering through the town gossip, I needed to know about her and what she was doing, if she was with anyone. I had no right, she doesn’t even know how I feel about her, but there was a piece of me that needed to hear she was doing alright without me.

  Coming home every so often and catching up with a beer and friends was never complete until Shar idled in. Her confidence hitching just like her breath did every time she saw me.

  I felt it, whatever it is that crackles between us now, but I never acted on it because it would only be days until I was gone again.

  That changes now though.

  The truck rocks gently as I pull my door shut after helping her get in on her side.

  “You know you don’t have to,” Sharon speaks first as I bring the truck to life with a rumble and turn down the music so I can hear her caressing voice that much better. “I could walk.”

  My window’s already rolled down and I set my elbow there, resting my chin in my hand, my pointer running along the rough stubble of my jaw as I stare at her and wait for her to look back at me.

  “I like the opportunity to be a gentleman when I can be.”

  “Mm,” she murmurs. “You imagine you’re some kind of gentle beast, huh?” she jokes, but there’s a breathlessness to her taunting. Both of her hands find her lap and then fall between her knees, which makes her thighs part.

  A gentle beast? I’m not so sure of that. Not with the thoughts running through my mind right now. Imagining how I’d part those thighs of hers, barely covered by her burgundy cotton dress.

  “I might be all brute, I think,” I comment back, half-jokingly. “But I at least try.”

  She laughs gently, her chest rising and falling easily. With her hair swept across her shoulder she leans back, closing her eyes and listening to the faint music.

  “Well thank you, Cade.”

  My cock twitches just from her saying my name. It’s too rough a word for her seductive lips. Readjusting, I put the car in drive.

  “Blue house on the corner, right?” I ask her and she nods.

  “Right across from the lake.”

  “Yeah I remember now. It’s been a year since.”

  “Since you dropped me off when I was wasted?” she questions and shakes her head, her beautiful gaze on the auburn leaves that blow in the wind as we drive by. “Thank you for that by the way… It was not my best night.”

  “We were all wasted,” I attempt to appease her. If I was being fully honest, I’d admit to her that I’m glad she was too far gone that night. My fingers itched to hold her and if she’d been more sober, I’d have leaned in for a kiss. I’d have wanted more. Only for me to be called away the very next day. It was meant to happen, to give us more time for when it’d be right.

  A time like now.

  I lay my forearm on the center console, daring to get a little closer to her, my hand only inches from her.

  “Seriously, thanks for that night. It was …”

  “A good night,” I stop her from finishing the word ‘embarrassing.’ “I love coming home and getting to hang out with you.” I almost say ‘you guys,’ but I cut it off deliberately, choosing not to hide anymore. Not to hold back.

  “Oh, is that right?” Shar swallows thickly, the sound of it bringing my attention to her slim throat and the dip just beneath it that begs me to lay an open kiss right there.

  With the heat climbing in the cabin, no matter that our windows are both open, I pull up in her drive and park the truck. “You like hanging out with me?” she asks, a hint of reverence playing in the sweet cadence of her question.

  I can only nod, my grip slipping slightly on the wheel as my palms turn sweaty.

  “I like the way you look at me,” I push her gently, calling her out and finally being a man when it comes to her and what’s between us.

  “I look at people, yeah,” she tries to play it off.

  “You blush the same way too? When you look at other people.”

  I’m only given a deeper hue of red as she sits in that seat, biting down on her lip. A lip I’d like to suck while my hand roams between her legs. I have to shift in my seat and I notice she squirms in hers too.

  The crickets and nightlife are the only backdrop as I turn the keys in the ignition and let the silence take over.

  “You don’t make me blush, Cade,” she lies and then stares out her window to correct herself. “Well... you make all the girls blush so it’s not the same.”

  “I don’t notice it with other women. I don’t notice anything about them.”

  “Now you’re just trying to prove a point and make me blush,” she accuses.

  “Tell me you didn’t look at me different from the other guys?” Damn, it’s odd how much thinking that’s a possibility hurts. The pain vanishes the second Shar looks up at me with wide eyes.

  “I feel like you always did,” I admit.

  Her breathing is shallow and her lips slightly parted.

  “Do you want to come in?” is all she says, her fingers digging into the leather of the seat beneath her, as if she has to cling to it to keep her seated there.

  “And why do you want me to come in Shar?” I don’t know why I tease her, why I prolong the tension, other than that I need her to admit it too.

  “Because I don’t want to be alone tonight?”

  “You answered that like you were asking another question.”

  Her gaze drops and insecurity flashes in her gorgeous eyes.

  “Come on, Shar. Tell me the truth. Tell me all of this isn’t in my head and something I just made up.”

  My heart rages against my chest and my pulse races, waiting for her to answer.

  She shakes her head gently, swallowing first, and then admitting, “If you mean the fact that I’ve wanted you for years and that I’ve dreamt what could have happened that night a year ago… then no. It’s not in your head.”

  “Then, yeah, I want to come in.”

  Sharon

  His lips were on me so fast, his hands on my waist, pinning me against his truck. The only reason my eyes aren’t closed as he devours me is because I need to see it, to know I’m sane, and that this all isn’t a dream.

  Cade Jameson, the boy who stole my heart in high school and left with it for years is back a man, demanding the very thing I’ve wanted since I first laid eyes on him.

  With his large hands at my hips, his lips drifting down my neck and the chill of the autumn night air leaving goosebumps along my exposed skin, I can barely breathe, let alone believe this is real.

  It’s the site of my neighbor, Miss Clare Jane peeking through her blinds that snaps me out of the haze.

  All hot and bothered, I’d feel shame if I wasn’t living out a fantasy I’d trade all my modesty for in a heartbeat.

  “Cade, inside,” I whisper at the same time he rakes his teeth up my neck and smiles at the shell of my ear.

  He whispers, “You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed about doing just this.” His grip on me loosens and with a gentle hand in mine, helping me find my balance, he leaves a kiss just beneath my ear and adds, “But I was more of a brute than a gentleman in those dreams, Shar.”

  Pulling back, he gives me a charming smirk, “I’ll mind my manners until we get through that front door of yours.”

  Oh, my… not a single word can finish that sentence. None come to mind even.

  All the heat that had gathered between my legs burns its way up my body as I somehow find the ability to walk at a seemingly normally pace to my front door.

  I’m already on edge just from knowing he wants me. Just from that short moment he had me pinned.

  His strong hand wraps around mine, his deft fingers slipping against mine and caressing in soothing circles as I open the door.

  The chill behind me isn’t from the night air, it’s from his immediate absence as I walk in and turn in my foyer, the light from the porch shining a light on his hulking body as he stands in the doorway.


  “I have to apologize,” he starts and with a quick intake, my heart betrays me, squeezing tight at the thought that he isn’t going to come in. But then he does. A single step and then another. Each one of his, is met by one by me, luring him deeper in the house, until my back is pressed against the wall and the front door closes with a resounding click.

  “I swear next time I’ll lay you down right,” he whispers although his words scream in my head, the lust making the quite polite words sound dirty. It’s his hungry gaze that seems to tear my clothes off even though he’s not touching me. His careful steps as if I’m his prey when he’s aware I’m willingly already his.

  “But tonight, I have to do this,” he finishes the thought that seems to take forever to complete all the while my body heats and the desire takes over.

  He’s on me in an instant, my back arching from the intensity of his kiss. His lips press against mine as his hands roam down my body, lifting up my skirt and pushing my underwear aside.

  My lips mold to his and I moan in his mouth as his thick fingers brush against my swollen nub and then drift lower, through my slick folds and to my heated core. He groans, his head falling back for a moment before he rests his forehead against mine. His lids are still closed and I stare up at him, my heart racing, needing more. My entire being depends on the words that are sure to fall from his lips.

  “You’re so fucking wet for me,” he comments with reverence and before I can respond, I’m in his arms, my legs wrapped around his hips. With my back against the wall, he balances me there, his left hand pulling at the strap to my dress which falls carelessly, seemingly also affected by the unfair spell he’s always had over me.

  If I could speak, I’d tell him that. I’d admit I’ve been ready for him for longer than he knows. I’d confess how much I want him, if only every nerve ending wasn’t lit along my skin, making his harsh touch filled with desperation ignite a craving both of us need to satisfy this very instant.

  “Cade,” I cry out his name as he rakes his teeth down the curve of my neck and pulls my dress down lower, taking my bra strap with it until I’m exposed to him.

  “I promise next time I’ll give you more attention,” his calm words, force the haze of want to subside for only a split second, just enough to hear the unzip of his jeans. Then I’m gone, gone far away and higher than I’ve ever been with my lips dropped into the perfect “o” as he fills me in a swift motion, his thick length stretching me.

  With my heels dug into his ass, my body freezes, paralyzed by the sudden wave of pleasure that holds me hostage.

  “I’ll give you time,” he groans against my neck, still buried deep inside of me. My thighs tremble around his hips, my core stretching to accommodate his size.

  “This is how I pictured it,” he murmurs and I half wonder if he’s telling me, or confessing a sin. “This is exactly how I’ve wanted you,” his rough timber vibrates against my heated skin.

  If I could speak, I’d admit the same, but he rocks just then, his pubic hair pressing against my clit and sending a moan to take over the words I dared to utter.

  His lips find mine again as he rocks in and out, a gentle beast for a moment, before his pace picks up. My fingers dig into his skin, raking down his back and I find myself clinging to him, surrounded by his masculine scent. He fucks me, hard and rough until I have to silence my screams by biting down on his shoulder. The sudden movement awards me with a deep rumble of a groan that spurs him on. Faster, harder, relentlessly until I’m crashing hard against the wave of my release and he’s doing the same.

  He’s gentle when he sets me down, although my legs are weak.

  My head’s dizzy and my body’s numb all too soon. The climax still wracking through my body and leaving me so limp I nearly fall to the floor.

  Nearly, but I don’t. Disbelief still forcing me to have some semblance of grip on reality.

  I just slept with Cade Jameson… No, no, Cade just fucked me against the wall of my foyer. They’re two very different things and all I want from him now is more.

  “Do you want to stay?” I dare to ask him, not even waiting to catch my breath. “You want to stay with me tonight?”

  Cade lifts his gaze to mine as he pulls up his jeans, buttoning them and already appearing put together. It’s not fair, because he’s left me shattered and I know I look the part.

  I’m a well fucked mess and his tussled hair shows the evidence of what I’ve done to him, but nothing else does.

  Insecurity wraps its way around my heart until he speaks.

  “I’m a pretty easy-going guy, Shar. This could be one good night. It could stay between us. It could be more.”

  Leaning against my foyer wall, still feeling him inside of me, it takes everything for me to believe this really happened. It’s happening right now.

  “I want it to be more, but that only matters if you want that too. So you tell me.” Vulnerability shines in his light blue eyes when he asks, “You want me to stay?”

  * * *

  Thank you for reading! 100% of the profits from this anthology will be given to the Live A Thousand Lives charity.

  This charity donates audio players - equipped with hundreds of hours of classic stories - to low-to-no mobility patients in nursing facilities and hospitals.

  The Live A Thousand Lives Project has been fueled by prolific Romance writers and unabashed book lovers who appreciate that audiobooks boost mental health, improve memory and stimulate the brain in ways that mirror reading printed text.

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  WAYS TO HELP:

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  If you loved this sexy little short, you’ll devour the first novel in this small town romance world. Preorder Tequila Rose today, releasing February 23rd or dive into these other standalone romance novels tonight! Keep reading for a sneak peek at Knocking Boots!

  * * *

  Contemporary Romance Standalones from Willow Winters

  * * *

  Knocking Boots (A Novel)

  They were never meant to be together.

  Charlie is a bartender with noncommittal tendencies.

  Grace is looking for the opposite. Commitment. Marriage. A baby.

  * * *

  Promise Me (A Novel)

  She gave him her heart. Back when she thought they’d always be together.

  Now Hunter is home and he wants Violet back.

  * * *

  Tell Me To Stay (A Novella)

  He devoured her, and she did the same to him.

  Until it all fell apart and Sophie ran as far away from Madox as she could.

  After all, the two of them were never meant to be together?

  * * *

  Second Chance (A Novella)

  No one knows what happened the night that forced them apart. No one can ever know.

  But the moment Nathan locks his light blue eyes on Harlow again, she is ruined.

  She never stood a chance.

  * * *

  Burned Promises (A Novella)

  Derek made her a promise. And then he broke it. That’s what happens with your first love.

  But Emma didn’t expect for Derek to fall back into her life and for her to fall back into his bed.

  Sneak Peek at Knocking Boots

  Prologue

  Charlie

  * * *

  “Charlie...”

  Grace’s soft voice beckons me from across the hotel room as I shut the door. I pull at the knot in my necktie, loosening it before tossing it on the floor. Through the dim light the night provides I can barely see as she scissors her legs under the stark white hotel comforter.

  It’s unrea
l to me still that she wants me so much and what’s more, they all think she’s mine. Every one of those guests at my sister’s wedding thinks Grace belongs to me. Then again, the whole damn town is convinced she’s the next one to get hitched.

  They’re right about one thing. She’ll be screaming my name tonight. But the rest is all a lie.

  “Don’t make me wait anymore...” she pleads.

  Grace’s slender neck arches as she grips the comforter in her hands and groans out her words with a little pout on her lush lips.

  I’ve got her so worked up, my little sweetheart, but that wasn’t hard to do. I knew she wanted me. She doesn’t want to keep me though; she just wants me for the night. Tonight, she’s all mine. I’m not the kind of guy who’s good enough for her. Even though my throat gets tight at the thought, and my steps pause on the way to her, I blame myself. She was too tempting to resist and all of this is my fault.

  Grace isn’t the kind of girl who winds up with a man like me. She’s got her life planned out. She wants the whole nine yards, and in less than a year.

  She wants a picture-perfect family and a white picket fence, but that’s not a life I’m ready for nor one I can provide. Not right now. Maybe not ever.

  I can see Grace wearing a white dress. A wedding dress. I bet she’d wear one of those big ass gowns with a train that fills the aisle. It’s not hard to imagine how the dress would move around her long, shapely legs.

  The thought of her walking down the aisle to someone else, a man other than myself, pisses me off. The anger rises, heating my blood just thinking about it and that tightness in my throat comes back with a vengeance. But there’s no way in hell I’ll be the man she’s walking toward. We both know that. I have Grace for tonight, and that’s all that matters. It’s what I wanted in our deal.