My Last Resolution Read online

  My Last Resolution (A New Year's Novella)

  by Whitney Williams

  Published by Whitney Williams, 2014.

  While every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions, or for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein.

  MY LAST RESOLUTION (A NEW YEAR'S NOVELLA)

  First edition. January 30, 2014.

  Copyright © 2014 Whitney Williams.

  Written by Whitney Williams.

  For Tamisha Draper.

  How you put up with me as your BFF I’ll never know...

  Thanks for keeping me in line (Or, trying to...LOL)

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Dear Incredible Reader

  Mid Life Love Excerpt

  Prologue

  Eleven.

  Not ten. Not twenty. Eleven.

  Ever since I was a little girl, my mom would force me and my sister to list our resolutions at the end of the year. She’d tell us to fold them up and carry them in our pockets as a reminder, and to make sure that the last one (“lucky number eleven”) was the most important one of all.

  I never understood the purpose behind those resolutions, and in the early years I’d do it just to make her shut up. I’d write things like, “Stop telling Mom that she gets on my nerves,” “Learn how to dropkick the boy who always pops my bra straps,” “Steal better snacks from the cafeteria at lunchtime.”

  Yet, as the years passed and I entered high school, I started to take them a little more seriously: “Lose lots and lots of weight by the summer.” “Try to work on my writing every day.” “Stop trying to fit in so much and just be myself.” And I always looked forward to writing that number eleven. Although it was supposed to be a goal, mine was more like a dream: “Find a real life bad boy, make him fall in love with me, and live wild and carefree together for the rest of our lives.”

  Unfortunately, I didn’t find him in high school—that “lots and lots of weight” took way too long to lose, and the lames that came shortly after were only interested in having sex.

  Very, very bad sex.

  My real life bad boy stormed into my life during my senior year of college, in the form of a sweet-talking, former womanizing, ultimate-alpha-male-sweetheart named Adrian Smith III. After preventing me from nearly walking into a moving bus, he told me I was “the sexiest woman [he’d] ever seen,” and the rest was history.

  Our love affair was fast and frantic, uncontrollable and overwhelming; it was so reckless and volatile that it almost became an obsession.

  I fell in love with him after only a few weeks, but I knew he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

  He was my dream.

  My number eleven.

  After we graduated college—when things began to slow down and settle, we decided to stay together for the long haul. We had separate goals and aspirations, so we promised to strive for them while still hanging on to each other.

  Unfortunately, that’s where the nice version of my story ended.

  My life with Mr. Bad Boy became more of a tragedy than a love story, and at the end of last year I did something I hadn’t done in years...

  I changed my number eleven.

  Chapter 1

  Fuck it. I can’t do this shit anymore...

  I roll over in bed and look at the man who’s sleeping next to me. My current boyfriend and winner of America’s Top Asshole Award: Adrian Smith III.

  He’s honestly a vision—chestnut brown hair, perfectly chiseled jawline, and a smile that can charm any woman into doing whatever he wants. He’s gorgeous even when he isn’t trying to be, but for the past few months (Okay...years), I’ve hated the very sight of him.

  “Something wrong, Paris?” He opens his light brown eyes.

  “No.”

  “Are you sure?”

  No! “Yeah, I’m sure.”

  “Are you still upset with me about the grad school thing?”

  “Why would I be upset about the grad school thing?” I try my best to sound as nonchalant as possible.

  “Aw. Come here, babe...” He sits up and motions for me to lay against his chest, but I don’t move.

  I’m not interested in cuddling and I am beyond upset.

  “Okay...” He sighs. “I know you’re mad right now, but I think you’ll see where I’m coming from six months from now. I have your best interests at heart and you know it. I always do.”

  I tune him out and focus on the broken clock that stands across the room. I’ve heard this speech so many times that I can spit it out verbatim: “I know how much you sacrificed for me all those years and I appreciate it, but...”

  There’s always a “but”...

  “And that’s all I’m saying.” He leans over and kisses me once he finishes his speech, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Why aren’t you happy about getting engaged anymore? I haven’t seen you smiling in a while.”

  “I am happy about getting engaged.” I lie, wincing at the very thought of being married to him, of accepting the gaudy ring that’s sitting on top of our dresser.

  “Good. You should be even happier now that I’ll have bigger paychecks coming in. Soon, we won’t have to be like every other struggling couple.”

  “I can’t wait...” I suppress a major eye roll.

  On the surface, he and I have always been like “every other struggling couple”: Our apartment is sparse—decorated with only necessary furniture, our savings account holds less than five hundred dollars, and we’ve spent more time apart than we have together over the past three years.

  That’s all part of our promise though. At least it was...

  While I worked three jobs to put him through law school, he studied all day, every day, and eventually graduated from the top of his class. The day he received an offer from the top law firm in Nashville—three months ago actually, he was supposed to tell me that it was my turn. That it was my turn to go to graduate school, my turn to study and pursue my ambitions while he supported me.

  But he didn’t.

  He didn’t say a word about it, and when I mentioned the old promise we’d made he looked confused. He said that a “real writer doesn’t need to go to writing classes,” that he’d actually heard a famous writer say those very words. He said the most successful writers “are the ones who write from real life experience and not from what they learn in some classroom.”

  It took controlling every muscle in my body not to lunge at him, so I resorted to doing the only thing I could do: Cry.

  I told him that I understood his thoughts, but I wanted to go to graduate school. I’d already been accepted to Vanderbilt and agreed to go.

  His response? Laughter.

  “Tell them that your future husband is a lawyer now and you don’t need them. Law school and writing school are two different things and you know it. One makes money and one doesn’t. That’s just how it is, but I still believe in your talent. Trust me, things will be much better for us this way.”

  Much better for us this way...

  Everything is always “much better for us this way.” His way.

  “You there, Paris?” He kisses my cheek, bringing me back to the present. “Can we go back to bed now?”

  “Yeah.” I force a smile and lie down, wondering how long it’ll take him to go to sleep.

  The second his soft sno
res begin, I slip out of bed and tiptoe into the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and flinch, knowing that the heavy bags under my eyes are from more than working late every day. Frowning, I unclip the photo that’s hanging on the wall.

  It’s always been my favorite picture of us: We’re laughing at each other in an onslaught of winter wind, smiling as our hair flies high above our heads. And in the background is the bus stop where we first met.

  This is the picture that I always pick up whenever I’m frustrated. It reminds me of the “us” that I remember, the “us” that I loved.

  I stare at it for a few more minutes, waiting for that flash of feeling—that “This is just a rough patch, it’ll get better” thought that’s supposed to click into my mind.

  It doesn’t.

  All I can think about is the fact that we haven’t had a two-sided conversation in years. We haven’t had sex in forever, and smiling? I honestly can’t remember the last time I smiled to myself, let alone with him.

  I place the picture where it belongs and look into our bedroom, making sure that Adrian is still sleeping. Then I decide to do something that I’ve dreamed about doing for years: Leave.

  I walk over to my closet and grab my largest purse, quietly stuffing it with whatever I can get my hands on. I make sure I have my wallet, my laptop, and my cell phone, and I rush out of our bedroom.

  The second I make it into the kitchen, I stop.

  I have no idea where I’m going. No idea what I’m doing.

  I consider saving my dramatic exit for another day, but my eyes suddenly catch the ivory invitation that’s hanging on our fridge:

  “You are cordially invited to the (Shhh! It’s a secret!)

  engagement party of

  Paris Weston

  &

  Adrian Smith III.

  Cocktails will be served at 6 p.m. sharp,

  and the unsuspecting bride-to-be will arrive at 7 p.m.”

  My blood begins to boil.

  That damn engagement party is something I definitely don’t want to do—something I begged him not to do, but he’s done it anyway. And he told me all about the “big secret” weeks ago, telling me that I should once again trust him about this: “Just pretend that you don’t know anything about it when you walk in, okay? Oh, and make sure you smile really big. The ring is two carats so that practically guarantees a smile from you. Could you also do a little gasp once you actually see the ring? I want all my colleagues to know that you’re impressed with my selection.”

  Enraged, I snatch that stupid paper off its magnet and rip it to fucking pieces.

  Then I calmly pick up each and every shred and throw them into the trash can. (Adrian is a neat freak...)

  Nonetheless, I quickly find my rage again and storm out of the house. I slip into my car and slam my foot onto the gas, driving into the night with no destination in mind...

  ***

  Four hours later...

  I have no idea where I am.

  All I know is that my car can’t possibly go too much further. The engine is starting to make a clucking noise and the wire hanger I’ve been using to keep my muffler attached is scraping against the ground.

  Pulling over, I get out of the car and slam the door shut. The engine needs to cool off for a bit, so I walk to the rear and take a seat on the trunk.

  With my head in my hands, I consider calling Adrian ahead of time to let him know that I’m not coming tonight, that I’m definitely rejecting his proposal. Then again, I remember that for the past three years he’s forgotten to tell me “Happy Birthday.”

  And not just “forgotten.”

  He hasn’t even had the decency to apologize for leaving me waiting at my favorite restaurant alone. Each time he missed it he’d say, “Aw. I’m so sorry, babe. It is your birthday, huh? Well, Happy Birthday! I didn’t get a chance to buy you anything yet, but I have something that’ll make you feel much better...I got an A on [insert something I don’t give a fuck about here].”

  Fuck Adrian...

  Before I can turn my phone off, I see that I’ve missed five calls—all from my boss, so I call him back.

  “Paris Weston?” he answers.

  “George Nicholson. Are we about to play the name game?”

  “Spare me your shit today, Paris. Where the hell are you? We just got a whole new set of sweaters delivered and we need someone to get them ready. There are ties that need to be organized, women’s heels that need to be shined, racks of slacks that need to be...”

  I listen as he goes on and on, as he reminds me of just how pathetic my life really is.

  “Paris!” He snaps. “Do you plan on coming in today? You’re already late so you know you won’t get a break. Actually, I’ll give you a ten minute one if you stay for a few extra hours. It’s the least I can do. But if you pick up my favorite coffee on your way here, I’ll make it fifteen. Oh, and get me a bagel too, with my dry cleaning.”

  “Fuck you, George.” I hang up. I’ve been wanting to tell him that ever since I started working there, ever since he made me more of a personal assistant than a retail clerk.

  George calls my phone again and I hit ignore. I know he wants to get the last word, to say, “No, you’re fired!” like he told the last quitter, but I refuse to give him the chance.

  I lie back against my dusty car and sigh, staring up at the sky. I’d give anything to be far away from here right now.

  Anything.

  All of a sudden, a plane parts through a cluster of clouds and I start to think about how lucky those passengers are, about how many of them could possibly be running away from a broken dream like me.

  Then it hits me.

  With no hesitation, I jump off my trunk and wrap the wire hanger around my muffler the best I can. Then I drive towards the airport and park in the extended lot—rushing into the terminal as if I’m about to miss a flight.

  “Good morning and welcome to US Airways!” The desk agent smiles as I approach. “Will you be checking any bags today, Miss?”

  “No...”

  “In that case, I’ll need a form of photo identification. Can I have your confirmation number please?”

  “I don’t have one.” I slide my license across the counter. “Do you have any roundtrip flights for four hundred dollars or less?”

  “What?” She looks confused.

  “Do you have any flights for four hundred dollars or less?” I enunciate every word. “I need to disappear and I would like to fly somewhere far away. Can you do that?”

  She furrows her brow, but she nods and looks down at her screen. “Let me check...”

  Typing away on her keyboard, she whispers something into the tiny mic that’s tucked into her jacket.

  I’m pretty sure I heard her say “potential flight risk passenger heading for security soon,” but I shake that thought away.

  “How long are you trying to get away, Miss Weston?”

  “However long four hundred bucks will cover.”

  She whispers into her jacket again and then she forces a smile. “We have quite a few roundtrip flights in your price range for anywhere between four to fourteen days. Would you like to go up north or further down south?”

  “Whichever is the cheapest.”

  “Okay, up north then.” She types for a few more seconds. “Chicago, Boston, New York, Cleveland, Brunswick, and anywhere in between.”

  “Boston.” I like the way it sounds. “Fourteen days if possible.”

  “And for fourteen days...” She tilts her head to the side. “Unfortunately, since you’re booking this so late, you’ll have to have two layovers—one in Atlanta and one in Washington. But, if you want to wait until tomorrow morning—”

  “No thanks. How much is it?”

  “Three hundred eighty eight dollars.”

  I immediately hand over my card.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to check that bag, Miss Weston?” She hands me a boarding pass and eyes my oversized purse. “It looks
kind of heavy...” she whispers into her jacket.

  “Why do you keep whispering into your jacket? Do you honestly think I have a—” I almost say the word “bomb” and bite my lip. I’m sure security guards will pop out of nowhere and tackle me to the ground at the mere mention of that word.

  “No thank you.” I roll my eyes and head straight for security.

  As I hand my documents to the guard, I feel my cell phone buzzing. A text from my older sister:

  “Don’t forget I’m picking you up around six-ish for dinner! Sister Day! Yay!”

  I sigh.

  I don’t have the heart to tell her that I already know about the engagement party, and that she could’ve stopped texting me her “Can’t wait to spend some quality time with you, sis!” ruse weeks ago.

  Instead of ignoring her, I text her back. “I won’t forget...”

  “Ma’am?” A deep voice suddenly says, making me look up.

  “Yes?”

  “Are you waiting on something to happen? Is there a reason you haven’t placed that bag on the belt?”

  I look over my shoulder and see the desk agent from minutes ago speaking to two security guards, pointing in my direction.

  Jesus...

  I slide the bag off my shoulder, but before I can set it down, a TSA agent grabs it and takes it over to a table.

  Unsurprisingly, when I step through the metal detector, the alarm sounds and announces that I’ve been selected for a “random” security check.

  I lift my arms as a woman waves a wand over my body, as she makes extra passes around my stomach.

  “I take it you all are just bored today?” I shake my head. “There are plenty of other suspicious looking passengers for you to harass.”

  “So, you admit that you look suspicious? Send her through the detector again, Rob!” She yells over her shoulder.

  I walk through it two more times and watch as my bag is emptied, stuffed, and re-emptied again. Then they finally allow me to head to my gate.

  After meandering through the hordes of holiday travelers and boarding the plane, I realize that I’m really doing this.