Anne Brear Read online

  She watched him, the sudden stiffness of his manner, the pulse ticking along his jaw. He still suffered from his parents’ actions. “We should go back.”

  “Yes, we don’t want to become lost.” He took her elbow and led her back to the gig.

  “Perhaps next time we can bring a picnic and I’ll remember my sketchbook.” She didn’t look at him as he helped her up onto the seat.

  “Will there be a next time, Miss Douglas?” His eyes widened and there was humour lurking in their violet colour.

  “Not if you call me Miss Douglas there won’t be.” She raised her chin in mock severity. “I have become quite used to you being unconventional and calling me Nicola.”

  “So you forgive me for taking you out today?” He grinned, climbing onto the seat.

  Adjusting her skirts so that a few inches of the leather seat showed between them, she nodded. “I will overlook it this time, but Mr West,” she paused to stare at him, “play straight with me and we’ll never have a cross word, I promise.”

  “For you, Nicola, I will do anything.” He took her hand and kissed it, then straightening, he flicked the reins and they made for the Home.

  * * *

  Adjusting her position on the stool, Nicola scrutinised her sketch of the front of the Home. The house was in proportion and again she counted the windows to make sure she had included them all. The trees and gardens were positioned properly… She added a few more strokes to the tallest tree on the right of the house and using the side of her little finger shaded below it to add dimension. Yet, something wasn’t quite right with the curve of the drive. Head bent, she concentrated on fixing the problem.

  A small brown butterfly fluttered over the page and landed on the edge of the sketchbook. She paused, admiring its hues of orange-brown. The still November day was heavy with sunshine, which brought out the bees and insects. Another glance up at the house scared the butterfly away and she watched it flitter among the recently planted gardens, which thanks to their new gardener, were taking on shape and colour.

  “Excuse me, Miss?”

  Nicola turned on the stool and brought her hand up to protect her eyes from the sun’s glare. “Yes, may I help you?”

  The woman, carrying a small portmanteau, walked closer. Her bonnet, a little old fashioned shaded her face, and her faded grey dress emphasized her thin figure. “Is this Mr Belfory’s Governess Home?”

  “That’s correct.” Nicola stood and placed her sketchbook on the stool. “I’m Miss Douglas, the manageress. Are you looking for a place?”

  “I’m Sara Bent, lately arrived from the Shoalhaven district. My last position finished earlier this month and I’ve been unsuccessful in gaining another. I have a letter from my employer.” She awkwardly held her luggage and tried to open it.

  “Miss Bent, please, we shan’t worry about that right at this moment.” Nicola stepped closer and laid a calming hand on the woman’s arm. Up close, Nicola realised the woman was young, no more than twenty at the most, and for some reason Sara Bent reminded her of herself when she first arrived. “I’m sure sharing a pot of tea will be a far better way for us to become acquainted. Shall we go inside?”

  “Miss Douglas, first I must be made aware of the rate.” Worry clouded Miss Bent’s blue eyes. “You see, I recently sent some of my wage home to my mother and I also paid the arrears off my debt to the FMCE Society.” Her shoulders sagged. “Although I am very relieved to have cleared my mind of these debts it has left me short. I assumed I would find a place again straight away. However, it’s been harder than I thought. I’ve known no other family than the one I met onboard the ship. They, the Macalister’s, hired me when their nurse failed to show up as we were ready to sail.”

  “Why did you leave that family?”

  “The mistress decided to return to England to finish her daughter’s education. She felt I couldn’t teach the finer arts such as painting and music to the satisfaction she required.” Miss Bent raised her chin. “The fault was not mine, Miss Douglas. Mrs Macalister had grand notions that weren’t suitable to a small country place such as the Shoalhaven.”

  “Come, you can tell me more inside. It is too hot out here.” Nicola collected her sketchbook and together they walked towards the front door.

  When they reached the first step, Miss Bent stopped. “I can pay a pound for my lodgings. How long will such an amount allow me to stay?”

  Nicola’s heart softened at the sight of this proud young woman. “If you paid me a pound, Miss Bent, how much would that leave you until you secured another situation?”

  Miss Bent lowered her lashes, a faint blush covering her thin cheeks. “About four shillings.”

  “Then save your pound.” Nicola took the portmanteau from her and found it extremely light. “Is there anything is this?” She smiled, meaning it to be a joke.

  Tears shimmered in Miss Bent’s eyes. “Only undergarments. I had to sell my books and…and even my clothes. I made the mistake of staying at a hotel and they charged me an exorbitant amount.”

  “Never mind, we’ll soon have you put back to rights again.” As they entered the hall, Florence came out of the parlour. “Oh, Miss McIntyre, we have a new guest, Miss Bent. Can you show her up to one of the rooms, please?” Nicola turned to Sara. “I’ll order you a tray of something and would you care for a bath?”

  “That would be very acceptable, thank you.” Miss Bent untied her bonnet and took it off, revealing raven black hair. She put a hand up to the lank ribbon securing her plait. “It’s been too long since I’ve been able to wash properly, especially my hair.”

  “Miss McIntyre, we have some spare clothes, don’t we? Miss Bent is in need of a dress or two.”

  “Yes, indeed, Miss Douglas, leave it to me. I’ll see that Miss Bent is comfortable.” Florence replied, gesturing for their new guest to precede her up the staircase.

  Nicola smiled at her. “Thank you.” She lowered her voice as Florence passed. “I think she’ll be hungry and rather exhausted. Let her freshen up before the others descend on her.”

  Florence gave an understanding nod.

  Nicola turned away and headed for the kitchen. As always, when she received a new guest, she had mixed emotions about it. Part of her was happy to be able to provide a room to a needy lady, but then part of her found it depressing to witness such misery, such hopelessness.

  She had to try harder to find these women worthwhile employment.

  * * *

  Heads close, scrutinising the building plans, Nicola listened to the foreman’s explanations and didn’t realise she had a visitor until Mr Warner stood beside her. “Oh, Mr Warner.”

  “I’m sorry to disturb you, Miss Douglas.” He smiled, bowing.

  “Not at all.”

  “Meg told me you’d be down here. She says this is where you are each day.”

  “Yes, things are happening at a rapid pace.” She thanked the foreman before slipping her hand onto Warner’s arm, who looked dashing today in a pale fawn suit. “Come and look at the progress of the orphanage. The roof on the dormitory has been completed, and the school room is nearly ready for its windows.” She led him between stacks of timber, roof slates and labourers, who were hammering, sawing and working hard in the afternoon heat.

  “It’s all very impressive, I must say, and so quick.”

  “Money has been flowing in since the ball. So many people have responded to us and it’s all thanks to you.” She smiled gratefully at him.

  Hilton peered into a window opening. “Don’t thank me yet. Soon you’ll be surrounded by yelling children. How on earth will you cope then?”

  She laughed, light-hearted at the success so far of the Home. “There are enough of us to manage. Some of the women are studying for their teacher’s certificate. We’re hoping the government will acknowledge us as a legitimate school and provide funding for teachers’ wages.”

  “Do you ever stop, Miss Douglas?”

  “Why should I stop?” She fro
wned. “I have so much to do.”

  He looked away and walked over to inspect a pile of stone. “You will not want to leave here.”

  Her enthusiasm for the project faded at his sad expression. She was being unfair to him, cruel even and that wasn’t like her. It’d been weeks since the ball and for weeks she’d been dodging his questioning gaze whenever they were together. She never allowed them to be alone and kept putting off making a final decision about his proposal. Nicola bowed her head, knowing the time had come.

  “Miss Douglas.” He took her hand and she looked up into his eyes. “I knew my answer on the night of the ball.”

  “How?”

  “When you danced with Mr West. No one looking at you as closely as I was would have detected the subtle way your fingers caressed his shoulder as you danced.”

  She jerked back. “They didn’t.”

  His smile mocked her vehement denial. “Yes, they did. You might not have let your face show your feelings, but I could tell. When in love, your perception of some things becomes very clear,” he shrugged, ‘though in others not so clear.”

  Shaking her head, Nicola headed back to the house. He was mistaken. “You are quite wrong, Mr Warner.”

  “Please, let us be honest in this, for I hold our friendship in high regard.”

  She paused by the garden arch leading into the small courtyard behind the house. Bees buzzed over the trailing roses. “I too, value our friendship.”

  “I’m glad.” He took her hand again. “I would hate to lose it.”

  “I am sorry I cannot marry you, Hilton, really I am. I wish I could say yes because you would be a genuine husband, a man to be proud of and one any woman would be thankful to have.”

  “But you did think about saying yes?”

  “Oh, of course.” She squeezed his hand. “I was quite close to saying yes. I promise you that.”

  He nodded and managed a weak smile. “Then I can ask for no more.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, don’t be. There is no need. We cannot rule our hearts, can we?”

  “I do not love Mr West.” Her heart hammered in her chest at the mere thought. She wouldn’t surrender to Nathaniel West.

  Chuckling, he leaned over to kiss her cheek gently. “Dearest Nicola, you should not deny what is nature.” He turned and swept his arm out to encompass the whole estate. “All this is noble and splendid, but to receive a person’s love, to have some form of…of connection with another, that is what makes us truly human.” He smiled and patted her hand. “Now, I must go. James and Meg are turning the ship upside down in preparation for their marriage. James’s neat cabin has been transformed with clutter, but they are happy and enjoying every second of it.”

  Nicola walked with him around the side of the house to the drive and his uncle’s carriage. “Yes, I have hardly seen Meg lately. She is a whirlwind of activity at the moment. Though she was hurt that her family refused to travel to see her wed.”

  “It is their loss, for it is easier for them to travel to Sydney from Melbourne, than from Melbourne to America. They might be missing their last chance to see her for a long while.”

  “America. Such a long way. I will miss her. The house will be quiet without her.”

  “I hope you’ll miss me also?” He grinned, opening the carriage door.

  “Absolutely. You’ve been a very good friend.”

  “Good, that makes me feel better.” After climbing in, Hilton sat near the window and smiled at her. “I’ll be travelling along the coast until Christmas, so I’ll not see you for a little while.”

  “Travel safe then. We’ll meet again at Christmas.” She stepped back as the driver flicked the reins and the carriage lurched forward. Taking a deep breath, she watched the carriage rumble away and prayed to a God she didn’t really believe in that she’d done the right thing in refusing Hilton.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I’ll miss you,” Meg whispered, hugging Nicola tight. They stood in the captain’s cabin of the Lady Hilton, having returned there after Meg’s wedding just a couple of hours before.

  “Not as much as I’ll miss you. You’ll be rather busy, I feel.” She chuckled through her tears.

  “Oh yes.” Meg’s grin was full of mischief. “I cannot wait for tonight, and every night!”

  “Meg!” Nicola roared with laughter. “You’re impossible.”

  “I know!”

  Sobering, Nicola sighed, knowing her time was short with this passionate friend of hers. “It was a beautiful wedding. Everything has gone off perfectly.”

  “I never expected this, you know.” Meg swung away to open a drawer near the bed. The captain’s quarters now included another room. One of the adjoining cabins had been knocked through so Meg and her new husband could have a place in private to sit and relax.

  “Never expected what? To marry a ship’s captain?”

  “To marry at all.” Meg grinned. She did a little twirl, causing her light blue dress to flare out at the bottom. “I’m so happy I could burst. Not even my mother and aunt’s failure to attend today can diminish my joy at having James as my husband. He’s a good man.”

  “And he loves you.”

  “Yes. Aren’t I lucky? I’m not sure I deserve him, but I’ll make him a good wife.”

  “I believe you will.”

  “Though I wish you had fallen madly in love with Mr Warner, then I wouldn’t be going to America alone.”

  “Sometimes I wish I had too.” She glanced around the cabin, seeing Meg’s little touches and then she spotted the framed sketch of the harbour she had drawn as a present to the newlyweds. Nicola realised that she’d already made one long journey and this country was where her future lay. She brightened. “Imagine all the new places you’ll see and the people you’ll meet. I want you to write long letters, telling me everything you experience.”

  “I will, and you must let me know how the women get along and all your plans.” Meg stepped closer to Nicola and held out her hand. “This is for you.”

  “For me?” Surprised, she took the little box from her and opened it. “Oh, Meg!” Nicola gasped, not believing her eyes. On a bed of velvet lay a gold chain and suspended from it was the half crown given to her by the First Mate the day she landed. “This is my lucky half crown?”

  “Yes. I stole it out of your room and James had it made into a necklace for you.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  Meg lifted the necklace out of the box and fastened it around Nicola’s neck. “Every time you look at it or feel it against your skin, you’ll think of me, and our friendship. Remember, I was your very first friend in this country, and I know at times I’ve tried your patience, but you do mean a lot to me and I wanted to show it.”

  “Thank you.” Tears spilled and she smiled sadly at Meg, upset at the thought of her leaving. “I am so amazed you’ve done this. Thank you.”

  “Although I won’t physically be here, I’ll be here in spirit.” Meg kissed her cheek and Nicola embraced her.

  “It’s a wonderful gift.”

  “We had some fun, didn’t we?”

  Nicola raised her eyebrows. “Oh yes. However, there were times when our opinions differed on what fun exactly was.”

  Chuckling, Meg resecured the white flowers in her hair. “Remember that time I put vinegar in Burstall’s tea?”

  “Heavens, yes.” Nicola chortled “And the time you hid Miss Golding’s Bible and she searched for it all day. Or the time you convinced Mrs Eldersley that it was Wednesday when it was actually Tuesday, and she went out and complained to the grocer about him not delivering her order.”

  Meg collapsed onto the bed in a fit of giggles. “Such fun.”

  Her laughter dwindling, Nicola sobered. “I sincerely hope you live a long and happy life, Meg.”

  “You must do the same.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “You need to marry Mr West.” Meg gave her a saucy look as she straightened her ski
rts. “Find out what it is to have a man, Nicola, and I guarantee that West would know how to please a woman.”

  “Meg!” Nicola felt her cheeks grow warmer, but Meg just burst into a peal of laughter.

  Nicola shook her head at her. “You’re outrageous.”

  “I know, and won’t you miss me!” Laughing, arm in arm, they went back out to the guests on deck.

  Warner came to Nicola’s side and Meg left them to talk to her guests. “Soon we are to part, Miss Douglas.”

  “Yes, sad as it is.”

  “At least I got to spend a beautiful Christmas with you. It’ll be one I’ll never forget.”

  “Me too.” She thought back to last week when the Home had rung with the joyous celebration that was Christmas. Despite the governesses being out of work, for one day they put all that despondency aside and enjoyed themselves. Mr Belfroy, Warner and the Captain had joined them for a wonderful meal. Although she hadn’t seen Frances and Nathaniel on the day, she saw them the day after. Frances had bought her a beautiful peacock blue satin scarf and Nicola in return had given her a pair of cream kid gloves.

  Her hand went up to the brooch she wore. She fingered the diamond and emerald flower, Nathaniel’s present to her, one which was far too valuable for her to accept at first. Only he refused to take it back, saying he’d be deeply insulted if she spurned his gift. His present to her meant more than she cared to admit.

  “James says the wind is favourable.”

  She concentrated on Warner. “That is good. And the tide turns in about four hours?” she asked, admiring how dashing he looked today in his best suit of dark brown, the colour of rich chocolate. His overlong sandy hair, this morning neatly slicked down, now lifted with the breeze sweeping off the harbour.