Safe in His Arms Read online

  His voice was gentle. “I know. I’ve had to fight for every ounce of it I have. But for the record, I admire you for coming here when you clearly didn’t want to.”

  “You’re right. I didn’t want to come. But you know what? I’ve fed a carrot to a horse. Now I have a little sliver of courage I didn’t have before. I’m already ahead of the game.”

  He smiled. Even his eyes smiled. “Valerie, I do believe we’re going to get along.”

  She liked that smile. A little tug of awareness caught her off guard, but she quickly suppressed it. She wasn’t in the market. “I’m sure we will.”

  Three

  Adam felt the subtle shift that told him she’d just retreated a little. She was protecting herself, and he understood that completely. He’d learned from Will that people reacted to personal trauma in many different ways.

  Some tried to block the fear through mind-numbing substances. Others used sex for the same purpose. Apparently Valerie’s coping mechanism involved hiding in a carefully constructed shell. They were alike in that.

  And it boded well for her success here at the ranch. Once she conquered her anxiety about horses, she’d love how they calmed her jangled nerves. He certainly did.

  He glanced at her. “Ready to groom Rocket Fuel?”

  “Yes.” She took a deep breath. “Lead on.”

  “He’s down at the far end on the left. You go on ahead. I need to grab the supplies.” He’d sent her by herself on purpose. Rocket Fuel was the friendliest horse in his stable, which was why Adam often used him for the first session. Discovering that the horse wanted to greet her without Adam coaxing him into it should boost her confidence.

  He took his time fetching one of the plastic caddies they used to hold brushes and currycombs. Then he grabbed a lead rope. They’d be doing this outside.

  When he finally made his way to the far end of the barn, the sight of her tentatively stroking the gelding’s nose tugged at his heart. She was talking to him, too, although her words were pitched too low for Adam to hear. But Rocket Fuel’s ears had swiveled forward to catch the sound of her voice.

  That was another thing Adam liked about her. When he’d first laid eyes on her, she’d screeched at him, which hadn’t been pleasant, but her normal voice had rounded, bell-like tones. He enjoyed listening to it.

  She appealed to him more than any woman he’d met since his divorce. Hell, no woman had appealed to him since his divorce. Will had accused him of shutting down his libido, and apparently he had.

  In any case, it was wide awake now. Valerie made a sweet picture as she got acquainted with Rocket Fuel, but she was also sexy as hell in those tight jeans. Slim as she was, she still had curves that sent a message straight to his groin.

  He stopped staring at her cute little ass and focused on the interchange between her and Rocket Fuel. “Looks like you’ve made a friend.”

  She ran her slender fingers down the chestnut gelding’s nose. “I’ll bet he flirts with all the girls.”

  “He does, but he likes some better than others. He seems quite happy right now.” Adam would be, too, if she stroked him like that. He mentally gave himself a shake, exasperated by his one-track mind. This wouldn’t be an easy situation—not easy at all.

  “His coat already looks shiny.” She moved away from the horse. “Are you sure he needs grooming?”

  “If you were to ask him, he’d tell you he wouldn’t mind being groomed twenty-four-seven. Horses enjoy being touched as much as people do.” But until this very moment, he hadn’t realized how deprived he felt in that regard.

  Like most men, he’d counted on sex to satisfy the need to be touched. Because he wasn’t having sex these days, he’d cut out that opportunity for human contact. He’d put his sensual needs on ice, but apparently they were starting to thaw.

  She glanced at him, apprehension shining in her green eyes. “Will I be grooming him in the stall?”

  “No.” He should have explained that from the get-go, but he’d been distracted, damn it. “I’ll lead him out back and tie him to the hitching post. That gives you more room to maneuver.”

  “Oh. Good.” She still didn’t seem relaxed, but some of the fear had left her eyes.

  “You can carry this.” He handed her the caddy for the grooming tools. “I’ll bring him out for you.” Eventually he’d like to have her feel comfortable going into the stall with the horse, but that would be for another day.

  She backed away as he unlatched the door and walked inside, all the while talking to the gelding. Rocket Fuel was such a great horse, up for anything. Adam had bought him for sentimental reasons, because he’d seen him race a few times. Rocket Fuel had turned out to be perfect for working with PTSD patients.

  Adam clipped the lead rope to the horse’s halter and led him out of the stall. Valerie stood clear across the aisle. She’d put on her hat and tucked the earpiece of her sunglasses in the neck of her T-shirt. She held the caddy in front of her like a shield. Apparently petting Rocket Fuel when he was safely confined in a stall was a whole other thing from confronting him up close and personal.

  He decided a little coaching might be in order. “I’ll walk on his left and you can walk on his right.”

  “How about I just follow you out?”

  “When working with a horse, it’s best to walk beside them. They can see you then, and they like that better. Horses are prey animals, and we’re predators. They have more reason to fear us than we have to fear them.”

  She nodded, although her expression told him she didn’t really buy that. She followed his suggestion and walked alongside, but she put as much distance between herself and the horse as possible. Rocket Fuel’s hooves clicked rhythmically on the cement floor.

  “Is it true they can smell fear?”

  Poor woman. She was really frightened. He could hardly wait until she realized how gentle this horse was. “I don’t know about that, but I’m sure they pick up on our moods.”

  “Will I make him nervous?”

  “Don’t worry about Rocket Fuel. He’s the steadiest horse on the planet. Believe it or not, he seems to know it’s his job to help people get used to him. You two will be buddies before you know it.”

  “You think?”

  “I know. I’ve seen it happen.” He led the gelding into the sunshine and over to the hitching post.

  Valerie followed, but maintained her distance.

  “I suggest starting with the brush.” Adam kept his voice nonchalant. “I like to go front to back, neck to tail, kind of like washing a car. Then you can come around and repeat the process on the other side.” He tied the lead rope to the cross rail of the hitching post.

  “Have you ever washed a car?”

  It was a fair question. Guys like him usually didn’t wash cars. She was a smart cookie who knew that. “Matter of fact, I have washed a car. Will’s, not mine. We used to hang out at his house because . . . I guess because we could do things like wash his car in the driveway. It was a novelty for me.” He rested his hands on Rocket Fuel’s back and gazed at her. “Ready to get started?”

  “Ready as I’ll ever be.” She set down the caddy and pulled out a brush before slowly approaching the horse. “Would you mind staying right there for a little while? Just until I get the hang of it?”

  “Be glad to.”

  With the brush in her left hand, she stroked Rocket Fuel’s neck so lightly that it probably tickled him. He snorted, and she drew back. “I’m doing it wrong.”

  “Use a little more pressure. He’s a big guy. He can take it.”

  “Okay.” She stepped closer and put some muscle into it. She had a cute habit of poking her tongue into her cheek while she concentrated on her work.

  “That’s great. Perfect. So you’re left-handed?”

  “No. This is the arm that was broken, and my physical therapist told me
to use it whenever I could, since my natural tendency is to use my right.”

  “Broken?”

  She hesitated. “Maybe I should tell you what happened. It’s not a big secret or anything.”

  “You’re not required to.” Although he did want to know. Some of the soldiers didn’t want to talk, which he understood, but knowing the nature of the trauma helped him work with them. The horses, instinctive creatures that they were, didn’t need to know a damned thing, but Adam was only human.

  “It might help if you know where I’m coming from.”

  Will had cautioned him not to counsel without a license, and to be up front about that with the people who came to his ranch, so he delivered the usual disclaimer. “Just remember I’m no therapist, just a guy with a ranch and some horses.”

  She glanced up at him, a gleam of humor in her eyes. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She returned her attention to the horse. “Should I do his legs?”

  “Sure. Brush everything except his privates.”

  A quick smile put a dimple in her cheek.

  She was a beautiful woman, and a plucky one, too. She crouched down to brush Rocket Fuel’s fetlocks, putting herself close to his hooves. Maybe she was beginning to believe this horse wasn’t out to hurt her.

  When she didn’t continue with her story, he thought maybe she’d decided against telling it, after all.

  But then she spoke. “Remember the fire that broke out during a concert a few months ago?”

  His heart stalled. “You were there?”

  “Yes. I got caught in the crush and knocked down. I was lucky that I only ended up with a couple of broken ribs and a broken arm. But it scared the bejeezus out of me. People were . . .” She swallowed. “Crazy.”

  He had the impulse to walk around the horse and hold her, but he didn’t think that would be a wise move. “I guess you must have gone alone.” He’d met her two friends, and they would have fought that crowd tooth and nail to make sure they all got out unscathed.

  “I went with a guy.”

  Adam sucked in a breath. He tried to remember if anyone had died in that mob scene. He wasn’t sure. “Did he . . . was he . . .”

  “Oh, he’s fine.” She brushed Rocket Fuel’s foreleg again and again. “He used to run track, so he vaulted over people on his way to the exit. I tried to follow him, but that didn’t work out.”

  “He left you?” Adam’s muscles bunched in an instinctive response to that horrific news. Good thing Mr. Track Star wasn’t standing here, or he would no longer be fine.

  “Yes, but I can’t talk, can I?” She kept her attention on her task. “I thought the bar was on fire and I ran out on my two best friends.”

  “That’s different.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “It is, and I’ll tell you why. At the bar, you responded that way because of your previous bad experience. I doubt the track star had that excuse when he ran out on you. Also, when a man escorts a woman somewhere, he’s in charge of her safety. Case closed.”

  She looked up at him without speaking, but her eyes said plenty. They started off with a soft glow that grew brighter, and brighter yet. Apparently she’d really liked hearing him say that. “Thank you, Adam.”

  “For what?”

  “Being a stand-up kind of guy.”

  His conscience pricked him. “Don’t make me out to be a hero. I’ve done plenty of things I’m not proud of.”

  “But you wouldn’t abandon a woman to a crazed mob.”

  “God, no. I’m sorry if you like the guy, but that’s despicable. You could have been killed.”

  “Fortunately I wasn’t.” She stood. “But since then I’ve been a little . . . edgy.”

  “No doubt.”

  She started in on Rocket Fuel’s flanks. “You don’t have to babysit me now. I’m getting into this.”

  “Okay.” He stepped back. “When you get to his rump, just come around that way to this side, but stick close to him and keep your hand on him so he’ll know you’re there. He’s not a kicker, but it’s better to learn good habits. When walking around behind a horse, either stay out of range, or move in close so he can’t get any momentum.”

  “Have you ever been kicked?”

  “Once, and I’m sure it was an accident, plus I wasn’t paying attention like I should have been. I had a football-sized bruise on my thigh for a good while, but no broken bones.” He hoped telling that story hadn’t been a mistake. “I don’t mean to scare you, but I want you to be safe.”

  “You’ve made that very clear. And I appreciate it.”

  “Common sense takes care of most things with horses, especially if they’re raised right, like Rocket Fuel was. I can’t take any credit for him. He was a sweetheart when I got him.”

  “Mm-hm.” Her answer was soft, almost indistinct.

  He no longer heard the sound of the brush whisking over the horse’s coat. When he peered over Rocket Fuel’s back, he discovered her head was down, her face obscured by the brim of her hat. She rested the hand with the brush against Rocket Fuel’s ribcage, and she’d propped her other hand right next to it. Her shoulders quivered. She was crying.

  Shit. What was he supposed to do? The guys didn’t cry. They swore a lot, but not a one of them had cried. He couldn’t just stand there and let her cry all by herself. She’d had one guy desert her in her hour of need. He’d be damned if another one would.

  Moving quickly to her side of the horse, he spoke her name so she wouldn’t startle. Then he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

  With a sob, she turned and buried her face against his chest, knocking her hat to the ground. He wrapped her in his arms and held on while she soaked his shirt with her tears. She was a fairly noisy crier, and he thanked God for Rocket Fuel, who remained calm and stoic in the face of her misery.

  Adam wasn’t so stoic. He wanted to find the asshole who had left her to be trampled by a mob. Adam had a strong urge to rearrange the guy’s face. Accidents happened, but she wouldn’t be sobbing in his arms if the slimeball had stuck by her.

  Thank God she’d plowed into him the other night and he’d had the presence of mind to get Will’s card to her, or rather, to her friend. Valerie couldn’t do better than Will for a problem like this. But she was crying so hard, and all he knew to do was hold her and tell her everything would be okay. He doubted that she even heard him.

  Eventually she ran out of steam, but she kept her face pressed against his damp shirt. “I’m so embarrassed.”

  “Don’t be.”

  “I am. I don’t even know you.”

  He rubbed her back. “Sometimes that’s better.”

  “Maybe.” She sniffed and kept her face buried. “I’m supposed to stay for a whole hour, but if it’s okay with you, I’d like to hang it up for today.”

  “Whatever works for you.”

  “I’ll be back.”

  “I hope so.” He really hoped so.

  “I didn’t know brushing a horse would turn me into a faucet.”

  “Like I said, Rocket Fuel has his own methods for getting to know folks.”

  “He’s a great horse.”

  “Yes, he is.”

  She took a shaky breath and finally lifted her head. “Don’t look at me. I’m sure my mascara’s smeared and my eyes are red.”

  “So’s your nose.” He wasn’t about to obey her command not to look at her. She was beautiful even when she wasn’t.

  “You weren’t supposed to look.” She gave him a wobbly smile.

  “I like looking at you, Valerie.”

  “Stop that. You’ll make me cry again. How come you’re so great?”

  “I’m not.”

  “Yes, you are.” Rising on tiptoe, she pressed a quick, but very warm, kiss on his lips. “Thank you.”

  He stood there in
stunned silence. That’s something else the soldiers never did. Should he kiss her back? No. She’d expressed gratitude, not passion. His mouth tingled and he felt a little dizzy. Then he realized that could be due to lack of oxygen, and he dragged in a breath.

  But it had been a long time, more than a year, since any woman had kissed him on the mouth, and he savored the sensation. No doubt about it, whatever emotions he’d locked away during the divorce proceedings were working loose. That would be good news if he had an outlet for those feelings, but as he did not, he was on the road to Frustration City without a detour in sight.

  Four

  Originally Valerie had been scheduled to spend an hour each Saturday morning at the Triple Bar, but she wrangled an extra hour from work midweek so she could go out more often. The senior partners at the law firm seemed happy to give it to her.

  She’d told them she was in therapy to get over her PTSD, something she’d never talked about in the office before. They were delighted. Apparently everyone she knew had been hoping she’d get herself help, and she’d had no clue they were paying that much attention.

  As she drove out to the ranch for her third Saturday session, she hummed along with the radio. Three weeks ago she’d made this trip with a sour ball of anxiety in her stomach. Today she felt as if the sun was shining in her heart, even if it wasn’t shining outside.

  Rain had been falling off and on ever since she’d left her apartment. She didn’t know how that would affect her work with Rocket Fuel, but Adam hadn’t called to cancel, so apparently they were still on. That made her very happy. The hours spent at the ranch had become her favorite thing.

  She loved watching the new foal, Naughty Boy—aka Bubba—who was now big enough to romp outdoors with his mother. After she’d finished grooming Rocket Fuel, she’d walk over to the fence and the curious foal would run up to check her out. She’d stroke his silky neck for a few seconds and then he’d bound away again.