A Cowboy's Charm Read online

  His jaw tightened. “I can’t imagine wanting to cut you out of my life.”

  “You’re angry with me.”

  “Yes. Angry and frustrated and…in love with you.”

  “I’m sorry about that.”

  “Me, too.” He left the bed and started putting on his clothes. “No, I’m not sorry, or I won’t be when I get some distance from this. You’ve taught me that I’m still capable of…what we’ve had. The damnable part is that I know how rare this kind of connection can be. I don’t expect to find it again.”

  There was nothing more to say. All his stuff was here, and it wasn’t much. He gathered it up. His bike was out there waiting. He could text Roxanne from the road to let her know he’d left. “Goodbye, Kendra.”

  “Goodbye, Quinn.”

  He walked out of the house. Climbing on his bike had always felt liberating. Not tonight.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Kendra stayed where she was until the rumble of the motorcycle’s engine faded into nothingness. Then she got dressed.

  She’d made the right decision. The foreseeable future wouldn’t be fun, but she’d saved herself a boatload of long-term pain. She’d saved Quinn future pain, too, although she didn’t expect him to ever thank her for it.

  The last time she’d lost the love of her life, she’d surrounded herself with her children. But each of those boys was happily communing with a woman who had become the love of his life. As it should be.

  She could still surround herself with her children, though. She opened a bottle of wine, grabbed a bag of chips and took both into the living room. Then she built a fire, even though the mild weather didn’t justify it. She needed a fire tonight.

  So many photo albums. She made three trips carrying them to the couch. She’d been faithful about making albums, although she’d switched from individual prints to creating the albums online.

  She started at the beginning, with her wedding album. She’d never told a soul that she’d contemplated divorcing Ian if he’d chosen the military over her. Quinn would keep her secret, though.

  Adding that bit of information had been necessary, although Quinn still hadn’t understood her decision and perhaps never would. Not surprising. He didn’t have her experience.

  She put aside the wedding album and picked up the next one. As imposing as Ryker was now, he’d been a cute baby with an adorable smile. She had more first-year pictures of Ryker than any of the other four and she’d heard about that. No amount of explanation had mollified the others.

  Sipping her wine and munching on chips, she closed Ryker’s album and opened the next one. Zane shared his album with the first shots of Trevor and Bryce. By the time Cody came along, she had no shots of him by himself. He was so beautiful that someone, usually one of her girlfriends, always wanted to hold him.

  Then she came to the tough part, where Ian disappeared from the pictures. Did Quinn have photo albums like this? He might, but guys she’d known weren’t as likely to create them.

  He might not find solace by looking through them the way she did, though. If she had to guess how he’d get through this, she pictured him diving back into his art.

  That would be a sharp reminder every time she walked into the GG and his work was hanging on the wall. She’d almost bought one of his large pieces even though it was pricey. Good thing she hadn’t.

  She stared into the fire and sipped her wine. He’d still show up in Eagles Nest from time to time. She might run into him. If that happened, she’d greet him as a good friend. He had been. One of the best.

  Her phone chimed with its generic ring. Not a family member. Quinn? She’d never gotten around to assigning him a ring tone.

  Heart racing, she put the albums aside and hurried into the kitchen where she’d left her phone. By the time she grabbed it, the caller had hung up. She checked the readout. It wasn’t Quinn.

  She took several deep breaths. He wouldn’t call, but maybe she should assign him a ringtone anyway so she wouldn’t panic every time her phone chimed.

  Then it pinged with a message. She listened to it. Hi, Kendra, it’s Roxanne. Dad just left me a message that he’s on his way home and he’d explain later. It’s not like him to ride into the night like that. If you could please call me, I’d appreciate it. Thanks.

  He was riding all the way home tonight? What an idiot! She’d assumed he’d spend the night with Roxanne and go home in the morning. He wasn’t seventeen anymore, damn it.

  She called Roxanne. “Hi. I thought for sure he’d come and bunk with you for the night.”

  “And I thought he was still out at Wild Creek Ranch. What happened?”

  “We…figured out that the long-distance thing wouldn’t work for us.”

  “Did you guys have a fight?”

  “Not exactly. Eventually I think he’ll understand it’s for the best, but right now—”

  “He’s upset.”

  “Yes, but I never expected him to do something this stupid. What’s he thinking?”

  “He’s headed for his safe place, the Lazy S. I doubt he wants to talk about it and if he’d come here, he would have felt the need to explain.”

  “You’re right. And now I wish…well, what’s done is done. Did you text him back and tell him to stop at a motel along the way?”

  “I did, but he won’t. The best I can hope for is that he’ll respond to my text when he makes a pit stop.”

  “How many of those will it take?” She had no concept of mileage for a bike.

  “At least a couple. I can ask him to text me each time he stops, but he’s not gonna want to. He’ll tell me to go to sleep and not worry, that he’ll text me when he’s home.”

  “Did you call Wes?”

  “I did. Told him to expect Dad around four in the morning. He’ll pick up an hour going home. Wes will probably text him, too. Read him the riot act, most likely.”

  “Roxanne, I’m so sorry. If I’d had any clue he’d take off, I would have handled this differently.”

  “It’s not your fault. To be honest, I saw this coming. When I had lunch with him, he had all the signs of being in love. He wouldn’t have been able to handle the arrangement you guys came up with.”

  “I know.” Her throat tightened. “Neither of us could have.”

  Roxanne sighed. “Talk about a no-win situation.”

  “I count it as a win.”

  “You do?”

  “I don’t regret a minute I spent with your dad.” She swallowed. “He’s a very special human being.”

  “Yeah,” she said softly. “He is. Want me to text you when I hear from him?”

  “Please, if you don’t mind. I’ll keep my phone handy. I need to know…”

  “That he’s safe. I understand. I’ll keep you in the loop.”

  “Thank you, Roxanne. You’re a pretty special human being, yourself.”

  “Thanks. I learned from the best. I’ll be in touch.”

  Kendra disconnected, closed her eyes, and said a little prayer that Quinn would arrive home in one piece. It would be a very long night.

  * * *

  Quinn hadn’t meant to worry anybody. When he stopped for gas and looked at his phone, he had texts from Roxanne, Wes and Pete. Roxanne must have called Wes and Wes had relayed the info to Pete.

  At least they hadn’t alerted Gage about this night ride of his, but clearly he was in deep shit with his kids. He sent them a joint text assuring them he wasn’t tired at all and he was making good time.

  Both were true. He’d always loved riding at night but hadn’t done much of it recently. Maybe he’d known he’d catch grief for it. Evidently when a guy hit fifty he wasn’t supposed to do things like this.

  Cruising along on his bike made the years fall away, though. Hanging out with Kendra had the same effect, but love was blind, just like they said. He hadn’t seen the cliff until he’d taken a swan dive over it.

  Sad thing was, he got where she was coming from. If he could make it past his
injured pride, he might eventually admit she was right to call a halt. He wanted her to be happy all the time, not just on select days of every month.

  How ironic that he’d dated women in Spokane who could have handled the proposed arrangement just fine. He hadn’t been a major player in their lives and vice versa. He hadn’t fallen in love with any of them, though, had he?

  On his second pit stop, he grabbed a cup of coffee and texted the kids again. If the roles had been reversed, he would have wanted that consideration from them. He hadn’t anticipated that Roxanne would go into panic mode but maybe he should have.

  Oh, hey, had she called Kendra? Damn, she might have. He texted Roxanne again to ask.

  The reply was immediate. Yes, and she’s very concerned about you. I promised to keep her informed.

  Hell. He hadn’t meant to worry her, either. This ride had been great for allowing him to process and clear his head, but it sucked for his loved ones. And Kendra was a loved one, even if she didn’t want to be. Better text her, too.

  He stared at the screen. They’d officially said goodbye. All very dramatic and final. Texting her was anticlimactic. But he was willing to bet she’d been up all night because of him.

  Texting was the right thing to do. He sighed and began. I’m two-thirds of the way home. Not tired. Don’t worry. He deleted the whole thing and started over. He had no business telling her not to worry.

  Should be home in another hour or so. Roxanne said she’d talked to you. I’m sorry for causing everyone to worry. He hesitated. Decided to go for it and finished with Love, Quinn. Then he hit Send before he lost his nerve.

  Swallowing the last of his coffee, he tucked his phone in his jacket pocket. It pinged with a return text as he walked out to his bike. He paused next to the Harley and opened the text.

  Thank you for letting me know. Love, Kendra.

  Her closing sucker-punched him, leaving him short of breath. He took a moment to get his bearings before strapping on his helmet. Even then, he didn’t climb on the bike right away.

  He was heading home on the assumption that once he got there, acceptance would set in. Distance would give him perspective and eventually he’d view his time with Kendra as a beautiful experience that wasn’t meant to last.

  Sounded good, didn’t it? Maybe it would work out exactly like that. Then again, maybe he was feeding himself a line of BS. Maybe his life would never be the same.

  Climbing on his bike, he started the engine and pulled out on the highway. The miles rolled away beneath his spinning wheels. Love, Kendra, Love, Kendra, Love, Kendra.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Quinn was home, safe and sound. Kendra read his text for the umpteenth time as her tight muscles began to relax. Evidently he’d figured out that Roxanne had called her and she’d be as concerned as his kids were about his late-night ride. Crazy man.

  The text was so Quinn. I’m home, putting my bike away and preparing myself for an ass-chewing from Wes and Pete. Love, Quinn

  She’d texted back that she was glad he’d made it. She’d signed hers with the L word, too. She’d figured if he had the courage to be open about how he felt, she could do no less. Just because they couldn’t work this out didn’t mean she’d stop loving him, just as he wouldn’t stop loving her.

  Although it was only four his time, it was five hers. She’d showered earlier to try and relax her tense muscles. It hadn’t worked, but now she could pull on clothes and head down to the barn. Might as well get a jump on the day.

  She’d made it halfway through the feeding routine when Cody showed up. She’d picked up a hay flake but put it down again. Cody would have questions.

  “Hey, Mom!” He glanced around as he walked down the wooden aisle toward her. “Did Quinn leave already?”

  “Actually, he left last night.”

  “Oh.” He gazed at her, his cheerful smile fading. “That seems…abrupt.”

  “It was. But it’s okay. We’ve both realized that we’re not suited to a relationship where we see each other for a couple of days a month.”

  “I could have told you that.”

  “And I wouldn’t have listened.”

  “I’m sorry, Mom.” Nudging back his hat, he gave her a hug. “This sucks.”

  “It does, but you know what? Having Quinn around was fun while it lasted. And now I can concentrate on important stuff like your wedding and the baby. Speaking of that, how’s Faith this morning?”

  “Still barfing, poor woman. Evidently I hover too much, so she told me to go feed and leave her to upchuck in peace. That’s why I’m here a little early. Not as early as you, though.”

  “You know me. Working in the barn is my therapy.”

  “Mine and Zane’s, too. And speaking of the devil, here he comes. Hey, bro!”

  “Hey, you two. Where’s Quinn?”

  “I’ll let Mom fill you in. I’ll get started on the new barn. Come on over when you’re done here.”

  Zane nodded. “It’s you and Jim for the trail ride today, right?”

  “Yep.”

  “And a family dinner tonight?” Zane looked to her for confirmation.

  “That’s the plan. Six o’clock.”

  “Pot luck?”

  “You know, we’d better do that. I haven’t given much thought to groceries recently.”

  “No problem. Mandy and I will come up with something and Aunt Jo’s always looking for an excuse to bake.”

  “Faith and I will bring our world-famous chicken,” Cody said. “See you two later.”

  “Be there in a few!” Zane called before turning in her direction. “Are you okay?”

  She took a deep breath. “Yes. And the situation with Quinn is…over.”

  “Over?” He frowned. “But you two seemed so happy.”

  “Like I told Cody, we wouldn’t be so happy if we only saw each other once a month or so. Good thing we realized it before we got in any deeper.”

  “Huh.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “So that’s it? He won’t be around anymore?”

  “No, he won’t.” She ignored the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. “It’s for the best.”

  “I suppose. Although I was sort of getting used to the guy.”

  That made her smile. “Are you saying you’ll miss him?”

  “I wouldn’t go that far.” He studied her. “But you’ll miss him. I can tell that.”

  “For a while. I’ll get over it.”

  “Well, sure. You’re a strong lady. You can handle anything.”

  “Not quite true, but thank you. I can handle most things, including this.”

  “It’s just that while he was here you were so…smiley and stuff. I mean, you’re always upbeat and cheerful, but he really made your eyes sparkle.”

  What to say to that?

  “I mean, maybe this didn’t work out, but what if someone else comes along, someone who lives in the area?”

  I don’t want someone else. “I guess anything’s possible.”

  “That’s all I’m saying. I think Quinn made all of us look at things a little differently.”

  “Good.”

  “Yeah, I think so.”

  “I have a favor to ask, though.”

  “Name it.”

  “I’d like you and Cody to spread the word before we all get together tonight. Never mind Aunt Jo. I’ll talk to her this morning. But if you could let everyone else in the family know that the Quinn episode is over and I’d rather not discuss it, that would be a huge help.”

  “We can do that.”

  “Thanks. For the next week, I want the focus to be on Faith and Cody.” She smiled. “And the munchkin.”

  “You’ve got it.”

  * * *

  Jo opened the door of her condo, took one look at Kendra and folded her into a bear hug. “Oh, honey.”

  Kendra lost it. She’d stoically refused to cry after Quinn had ridden away, but lack of sleep and the warm understanding of her best friend stripped her of her d
efenses. Pacing the length of Jo’s living room, she poured out her frustration and misery between sobs.

  “Jo, the man’s perfect! Magnificent lover, considerate friend, gorgeous body, and he happens to live in damned Spokane! Why does he have to live in stupid Spokane?”

  Jo sat on the sofa and listened, making small noises of comfort as Kendra raged.

  “And why does he have to be so wonderful?” She glared at Jo, who just shrugged and looked sympathetic, so she barreled on. “It’s like finding the most beautiful pastry that you know is more delicious than anything you’ve ever tasted, and you can’t have it!”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “I’m sorry, too! Zane thinks someone else will come along. Ha! There’s not another man in the world like Quinn Sawyer.” She choked out the words. “Nobody can kiss like that man. And I’ll never kiss him again!”

  She stomped and ranted for a little while longer, but eventually she ran out of steam. Coming to a halt, she faced Jo. “That’s it.” Her voice was nasally and hoarse. “I’m done. You got any cake?”

  “Well, duh. Go in the bathroom and splash water on your face. I’ll have it dished by the time you come back. I assume you want coffee.”

  She gave Jo a semblance of a smile. “Well, duh.”

  They sat in Jo’s cute little dining nook, so different from the massive pine table and dining area she’d had in the house now owned by Zane and Mandy.

  Kendra attacked the large slice of chocolate cake with a vengeance and asked for a second piece.

  “Didn’t you eat breakfast?”

  “Didn’t feel like it.”

  “Want me to scramble you some eggs?”

  “No, thanks. Cake is exactly what I need.” She finished off the second piece and sat back with a sigh. “Do you think chocolate cake could take the place of great sex?”

  “No.”

  “You’re supposed to say yes. Give me something to cling to.” She gazed at Jo. “I’ve never had so much fun in bed. Not even with Ian.”

  “I believe you. Quinn’s had more time to get really good at it.”