A Cowboy's Honor (The McGavin Brothers #2) Read online

  That was Cody’s doing, because she hadn’t yet understood. He’d been the one who’d brought candles to add some romance to her initiation. He’d insisted on camping mattresses in the clearing because he hadn’t wanted her to end up bruised. When she’d requested wild and crazy up against the truck, he’d warned her about the cold metal and then he’d protected her from it, cradling her in his arms so that she’d felt only pleasure.

  The last time they’d held each other, when he’d informed her that they’d officially graduated to making love, he’d treated her with such tenderness. He’d let her into his heart as she’d let him into hers. But she’d never expected that their emotional connection would sabotage his dreams.

  She’d been unaware that she was playing with fire. Her reading should have warned her that a man inflamed with passion could make foolish choices, but surely Cody was stronger than that. She’d trusted his single-minded dedication to his goal and she’d seriously underestimated her power to influence his plans.

  Cutting off all communication had caused them both terrible pain. But once he corrected his course, once he’d set out on this journey that he’d planned for so long, he’d be all right. Surely this suffering was for his own good. If it was worth nothing, she’d go crazy.

  Her dad was worried about her and she hated that, but after Cody had left on his quest, she’d pull herself together and return to normal. That process would begin soon, because Cody was coming for her horse. She would count the minutes until he left with Bert.

  She heard his truck and went to the window. The trailer wasn’t what she’d expected. She’d envisioned something more elegant, more in keeping with his snazzy truck. This one was a nice shade of green but it didn’t add a thing to his midnight blue truck with its silver pin-striping.

  He might have grabbed the first sturdy trailer he found. She was sorry he hadn’t ended up with one that fit his personality, but getting him on the road was more important and she’d pushed him to accomplish that.

  Her dad walked around the house and Cody climbed out of the truck. He glanced up at her window and she stepped back, not wanting him to see her. He probably couldn’t in this light but she didn’t want to take chances.

  He wore the same blue shirt from this morning but the sleeves were rolled down. She wrapped her arms around her middle, feeling as if she had to hold herself together or she’d fly apart from the pain of looking at him. He was so beautiful. So loving. Naturally he wanted to take her with him on his quest. That was Cody, wanting to share, willing to postpone his dream to give her something special.

  Standing a safe distance back from the window, she watched the two men examining the trailer. They were about the same height although Cody was more solidly built. Her dad had always been on the lanky side. But they had a similar way of moving, a similar way of standing with their legs slightly bowed from years of riding. Anyone watching them would know they were cowboys.

  Her dad gestured toward the far side of the house. Because Cody was hauling a trailer, he’d be better off going that way to get back on Wagon Wheel Lane instead of trying to execute a U-turn. The preliminaries were handled. Next they’d go into the barn and fetch Bert. It was almost over.

  But instead of going into the barn, her dad patted Cody on the shoulder and they walked back around the house. What the hell? The sound of the front door opening threw her into a panic.

  The soft rumble of their voices told her they were both in the house. The refrigerator opened and closed. Then they went out the door again. When they didn’t reappear down by the barn, she could only draw one conclusion. They were sitting on the porch having a beer. Shitfire.

  * * *

  Being this close to Faith without seeing her was driving Cody nuts. He should never have agreed to have a beer with Jim while Faith hid upstairs in her room. But his romantic little heart had hoped that if he hung out with her dad, she’d crack and come down.

  And then what? He still didn’t want to leave without her. He got the impression that if he insisted on postponing it, she’d lose all respect for him. His mom might not be too happy, either.

  Best case scenario, she’d come down, declare her feelings and promise to be here when he came back. How could he leave if she did something like that? But he’d have to. Then he’d spend two long months missing her.

  He might not have to worry about that because he was halfway through his beer and she hadn’t shown up. He and Jim had swapped stories about horses they’d known, from the best to the worst. Jim sounded a little wistful talking about his cowboying days, but Cody wasn’t about to open that can of worms and suggest he get back to doing what he loved.

  “Son, let me ask you something.” Instead of looking at Cody, Jim stared at the mountains and rested his beer bottle on his knee.

  Cody recognized the body language of a man who wanted info but was a little uncomfortable asking for it. “Shoot.”

  “You’ve known Deidre a long time.”

  “All my life.”

  “Can you picture her hanging out with a guy like me?”

  Cody should have seen it coming when Jim had asked him to stay for a beer. He’d wanted a man-to-man talk with someone who might know the answer to that question. If Faith had heard it she’d go ballistic, but he doubted she was inside with her ear to the front door.

  Not that Cody had a decent answer for Jim. He stalled with a question. “Is that what you’re hoping for?”

  “I’ll admit I am. I’ve started to see that Faith and I are in a rut. A nice rut, but too confining. When she made friends with you, she poked her head out a little. Scared herself, I think, but I’m hoping she’ll get over it and realize it’s time for a change. For both of us.”

  Cody swallowed. “That would be great.”

  “But she’s dead set against any kind of permanent change. I think that includes me hanging out with Deidre.”

  “I can tell you what she told me.”

  Jim’s startled glance met his. “She talked to you about this?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Then you two are better friends than I thought. She doesn’t open up to just anybody. What did she say?”

  “Maybe it’s not so much what she said, but what I read between the lines. She’s terrified of somehow losing what you have together.”

  “My God.” Jim scrubbed a hand over his face. “That’s impossible. I would never let that happen.”

  “Then you’re on the same page.”

  “Absolutely.” He looked over at Cody. “But I can imagine some changes that might be positive ones. Like you. I wouldn’t mind having you around more often. You’re good for Faith.”

  Cody’s breath caught. “I’m probably stepping way out of line, but I wish you’d tell her.” Adrenaline pumped through him, making him shaky.

  “I will tell her. And reassure her that I’d never let Deidre come between us, either.”

  “I think she’s more worried about you getting hurt.”

  Jim gazed at him. “I’ve been hurt, son. Nothing hurts worse than having someone you love die, especially long before their time. I’m sure your mother knows that.”

  “I’m sure she does.”

  “Maybe I need to remind my daughter that I’m tougher than she thinks. I’m touched that she’s worried about me, but if Deidre and I get together and she eventually kicks me to the curb, I can handle it. I’ll just choose better next time.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  “What about you and Faith?”

  Cody met his gaze. “I don’t know, Jim. I care for her, but…I just don’t know.”

  “I can tell she cares for you, too.” He reached over and squeezed Cody’s shoulder. “I’ll talk to her. Now let’s go load Bert.”

  * * *

  At long last, Faith heard activity down at the barn. She looked out her window and watched her dad lead Bert out while Cody let down the ramp to the trailer. She’d miss her sweet horse and he’d miss her, but that was nothin
g compared to the gut-wrenching loss of not seeing Cody every day. He’d miss her, too. She hoped by the time he came back, he’d be over her.

  She’d never be over him, but she’d have to figure out a way not to show it. She’d miscalculated on several things when she’d planned this episode. Her biggest mistake was not realizing how deep the connection would become in a few days.

  She hadn’t meant that to happen. Although the books had described brief affairs that created strong emotions, she’d assumed the authors were exaggerating for dramatic effect. As she gazed down at Cody helping her dad load Bert, she concluded the books hadn’t gone far enough.

  Cody shot the bolt on the trailer, locking Bert in. He shook hands with her dad and to her surprise gave him a quick hug. Tears blurred her vision and she wiped them away. She didn’t want to miss a single thing.

  He climbed behind the wheel of his truck, closed the door and rolled down the window. Leaning out, he continued to talk with her dad. Her dad nudged back his hat and rested his hand on the doorframe, almost as if he didn’t want Cody to leave.

  When Cody faced forward and started the engine, her dad backed away. Cody put two fingers to the brim of his hat and her dad waved. Slowly the truck moved and then picked up a little speed. Her dad stood where he was until both truck and trailer were out of sight.

  Faith didn’t realize she was crying until a sob nearly choked the life out of her. Flinging herself on her bed, she buried her face in her pillow and beat her fists on the mattress. She’d never cried like this, never. And she hated it.

  Gradually the noisy sobs diminished enough that the sound of her father calling her name and tapping on her door penetrated her fog. She had no idea how much time had passed. Dinner might be ready, although she didn’t smell cooked food.

  She did her best to clear her throat. “Not hungry, Dad.”

  “I need to talk to you.”

  “Maybe later, okay?”

  “Now.”

  She sat up. She hadn’t heard him use that tone since the time she’d decided to ride a very green horse when she was ten. He’d given her a long lecture that day. Maybe he was planning to give her one now. She probably deserved it.

  Grabbing a tissue, she blew her nose, but there was no fixing the rest of her. She was a mess. “You can come in.”

  He entered and his jaw dropped. “Oh, honey bun.”

  That started the water works all over again. She snatched up her pillow and pressed it to her face while she tried to get control of herself.

  The mattress dipped and her dad’s arm came around her shoulders. “You’re in love with him.”

  She kept crying, but she nodded.

  “For what it’s worth, he’s in love with you, too.”

  She nodded again.

  “He said you’re worried about me.”

  Rubbing the soggy pillow over her face, she put it on her lap and blinked away tears as she gazed into his dear face. “I am.”

  His grip on her shoulders tightened. “About Deidre?”

  She nodded.

  He handed her his red bandanna. “I like her. I think we could have fun together, but it doesn’t mean what you and I have will change. We’re a team.” He gave her a squeeze. “We’ll always be a team, no matter who else comes into our lives.”

  She blew her nose on his bandanna and wiped her eyes. Then she laid her head on his shoulder. “I’ve been kind of an idiot, haven’t I?”

  “People sometimes act like idiots when they’re in love. They get funny ideas about how things are or how they should be. They don’t always think straight. But I’ll tell you this, that’s one fine young man. If you let him get away, then you’ll be an even bigger idiot.”

  She lifted her head and scooted away so she could see his face. “What am I supposed to do? He’s leaving. For all I know, he’s leaving tonight.”

  “No, tomorrow. You still have time to go over there and tell him how you feel.”

  “I can’t. If I do, then he’ll start talking about postponing his trip and we’ll be right back where we started.”

  “What do you mean, postpone it?”

  She combed her hair back from her damp cheeks. “He asked me to go, but that means putting it off until next summer. He can’t do that, Dad! It’s his dream that he’s planned since he was in high school!”

  “Why can’t you go with him now?”

  “Because I’m needed here! Kendra needs me. I agreed to this job and I—”

  “Then maybe you should let Cody postpone his trip.”

  “No. Never.” She looked him in the eye. “I refuse to be the reason he doesn’t leave tomorrow.”

  “Even if that would be his choice?”

  “You said it yourself. People in love aren’t thinking straight. He has everything ready and he has the momentum. If he puts it off there’s always a chance he’ll never do it.”

  “I hate to admit it, but you have a point.” He gave her shoulder another squeeze. “Will you be okay for a while if I go run a quick errand?”

  “What errand?”

  “Just something I need to do.” He kissed her cheek. “Take a nice shower. That always makes a person feel better.”

  “I will. And thanks, Dad. Just talking it out with you has been huge.”

  “Good.” He started toward the door.

  “You’re not going to tell me what this errand is, are you?”

  “Not yet. Go take your shower.”

  Climbing out of bed, she walked to the bathroom. A shower would feel good. Telling her dad about Cody had felt good, too. Somehow she’d get through the next twelve hours and then Cody would be off on his adventure. That had to happen, no matter what.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Cody arrived back at the ranch to find Deidre gone but Zane, Mandy and Aunt Jo were there to have dinner. They all came down to the barn to admire the trailer and Zane helped Cody unload Bert and put him in the stall they’d made ready for him.

  “He’s a fine-looking horse.” Zane patted Bert’s sleek coat. “You two should get along great.”

  “We will.” Cody couldn’t look at Bert without thinking of Faith, though, and he hoped that wouldn’t go on for two months. Everybody had asked about her since she was supposed to be sick. He’d confirmed that she must be feeling crappy since she’d stayed in her room the whole time he was there.

  As they all walked back to the house, Mandy offered to come over and help the next day since Faith might not feel up to working yet.

  Cody liked that plan. “Good idea. If she pushes herself, she might get worse.” If he knew she wouldn’t show up in the morning, he wouldn’t have to bust a gut to leave before she arrived. He’d given up on some last-minute miracle. She wasn’t going to make a dramatic gesture, no matter how much he wished she would.

  But just as they reached the house and started up the steps to the porch, he heard a truck coming. He turned and nearly had a heart attack when he saw Faith’s antique Ford pulling in.

  “Maybe she’s feeling better, after all,” Mandy said.

  Cody couldn’t speak. His throat tight with anxiety, he stared at the truck. Then he saw who was driving. “It’s Jim. He’s alone.” His first, irrational thought was that something was seriously wrong with Faith. But that made no sense. Jim wouldn’t drive over here in that case. He’d call 911.

  Zane glanced at Cody. “Maybe he forgot to tell you something about Bert.”

  “Maybe. Except he could’ve called me.” Nobody had gone into the house. They must be as curious as he was about this unexpected visit.

  Jim smiled as he approached. “This is lucky. You’re all here. I was afraid you’d have to call a family meeting, but I see that won’t be necessary.”

  Cody’s mom was the first to speak. “What’s up, Jim?”

  “I’d like to apply for a job.”

  “A job?” She blinked. “Doing what?”

  “Whatever Faith’s been doing—working in the barn, guiding trail rides. I’m ev
en a fair hand in the kitchen if you need me there.”

  Cody had trouble breathing. “Faith’s not coming back?”

  “Eventually I’m sure she’ll want to.” Jim looked at him. “But I figured if I filled in for a couple of months, that might work out for you.”

  Cody’s ears buzzed. He hoped to hell he wasn’t dreaming this conversation. “But I thought you were done with all that.”

  “I found a good reason to get back into it. I also realized that I’d stopped riding because I was worried about something happening to me that would leave Faith all alone.” His gaze was steady as he trained it on Cody. “But she wouldn’t be.”

  “Not if I can help it.”

  “I figured. Besides, I was getting bored. And this is what I know.”

  Zane scratched the back of his neck. “I’m so lost.”

  “I’m not.” Mandy looked over at Cody. “I’ve worked with Faith for a couple of months and she never worried about how she looked. Then you show up and suddenly I’m altering her clothes. And you’re jumping up to give her a ride home when she gets a headache.”

  Cody glanced at Aunt Jo, who was hiding a smile. She’d likely figured this out after their chance meeting at Pills and Pop, but hadn’t said anything to Mandy.

  “Oh!” His mom spun toward him. “The light dawns!” She smacked her forehead. “I can’t believe I didn’t pick up on it. But why keep it a secret?”

  Cody sent Aunt Jo a look of gratitude. She hadn’t told her best friend, either. “Faith asked me to.”

  “Why?” Then his mom waved her hand. “Never mind. I get it. She might have thought I wouldn’t approve because she’s an employee. But I still don’t understand why Jim wants to take over her job.”

  Cody dragged in a breath. “I’d like her to go with me. But as long as she’s needed here, she can’t even consider that possibility.”

  “Oh. She’s not really sick, is she?”